Invisible

by Neleam

This is to put to rest all of the myths that I'm insecure. I love my hair and my personality. Why are people so shocked when I break the rules? I've studied more than enough literature to know that rules are merely guidelines. This is to let everyone know that Hermione Granger is not ashamed of who she is. However, no one seems to know who I really am.

Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to JK Rowling, Warner Bros, Bloomsbury Publishing, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.

Everyone thinks I'm insecure, but they don't have a clue. I'm perfectly confident in my body. I love how my hair is so definitely me. I wear comfortable clothing because I can actually move in it. I don't want to be one of those girls that's afraid to break a sweat or who has to move slowly or else her breasts will spill out. I am perfectly confident in who I am as a person. I care for all creatures and I work hard to provide information to everyone around me. I'm also perfectly able to tell someone off when they're wrong. I captured Rita Skeeter in fourth year because it was the right thing to do. I punched Draco Malfoy because he was being a complete prat and deserved it. It always shocks people when I do things like this, and I guess that's my real problem.

When you're so perfect and confident in yourself, when you are more mature and intrinsically motivate, people stop paying attention to you. It's not that they don't care, they just think you don't have any problems and that others need their help more. I guess people just took me at first impression and never dug deeper. I mean, I can't be more than the brightest witch my age, can I? True I care about the rules, but I know that rules were often designed for particular situations, there are always exceptions. Honestly, they are more like guidelines. I guess everything really started bugging me when professors wouldn't even stop me when I was out of bed after curfew. I never needed Harry's cloak to sneak around. I practically had my own.

I don't hate my life, and I certainly wouldn't trade it for anyone else's, however, if anyone truly stopped and thought about it, what did they really know about my family. My parents are dentists and we went to the forest of Dean when I was little but no one cared enough to ask more than that, though I doubt I would have shared more than that. I must have just grown up faster to adapt to the fact that both of my parents had medical degrees and shared a practice, meaning I got an inattentive nanny and a list of things I needed to have mastered by the time my high achieving parents had returned from work. I was always in their shadow in the muggle world. And then I got my Hogwarts letter and I could finally prove to them that I could truly make something of myself that would make them proud of me. I loved my family dearly but I am fully aware that their careers were always put before my needs.

I guess that's why I was so mad that no one would listen to me about Malfoy in our sixth year and why I was so willing to trust him once the war was over. I knew exactly what he was going through. If I had been in his position I would have done exactly the same thing. It was never about his inheritance or social status. It was only about making his parents proud for once and keeping them safe. I guess I let mine down in the end and truly embraced my biggest fear. I obliviated them so that I was never there to begin with.

I guess that's why I do the things I do. I love my hair because it makes me stand out. I embrace my bossy, know-it-all personality because I can show my knowledge off to others, even if they only hear my voice. I stuck by Harry not only because it was the right thing to do but because he was famous. I was so vocal about SPEW because no one else was.

But I don't know if it mattered in the end. No matter how hard I fought to stick out, no matter how hard I worked to prove my worth to others, no matter how I acted, I was always invisible to everyone. I will always be invisible in the end. I can get by alone but being invisible is the loneliest thing in the word. No one thinks you need help because you're always this face of strength. But after being invisible for years, I wanted someone to see me. So I finally forced the issue.

I guess that's why I visited Azkaban every week, I could have argued that it was the right thing to do and I was simply keeping him company so that he might not go insane. But in all honesty it was to force the one person who might understand what I was going through to sit and listen to me. I knew I could get away with it. I was invisible; the guards would never question my presence. It still took him months to start talking to me but I needed that time to get everything out. And we managed to be civil for the first time in our lives. We both realized how badly we needed to bare our souls to another individual. I earned his trust and we still have weekly get togethers, though we don't admit it to the rest of the world. And we get away with it because we're both invisible to the world. It's strange saying that Draco's my best friend now.

AN: Okay, so this could be considered a one shot but I am writing the continuation, which is in a completely different style, and I will be posting it separately. It will be titled Hidden and there will be Draco/Hermione, Rose/Scorpius, as well as two original characters.