Stay

by Sorikaii

[Cloudgeal] Sometimes you just have to be brave and take a chance. After all, you never know what he's thinking about when he looks at you.

Cloud panted heavily, gritting his teeth, as Angeal's large hand settled high up on his thigh and began to push it backwards towards the floor. "Does that hurt?" Angeal asked kindly, noting the expression on the blonde's face.

"I can take it," Cloud replied, "keep going."

Angeal shook his head and sat back on his legs, removing his hands from Cloud's body. "Stretching after training is meant to relax your muscles and prevent fatigue, not push you beyond your limits. That's enough for today, Cloud. You worked hard, now give yourself time to rest."

Cloud exhaled sharply, and sat up, feeling the ache from training already setting into his entire body. He loved the feeling because it meant he was building muscle mass and improving. He would have gladly welcomed more of the burn, but Angeal wouldn't allow it. He was the expert, after all. If anyone knew about packing muscle on it was Angeal, Cloud thought, eyes roaming up over his chest and the tight, muscles of his bare arms. Luckily his face was already flushed from the workout and Angeal wouldn't notice the blush staining his cheeks. It was impossible to be near this man without being attracted to him, Cloud had decided. There was no word better able to describe him than hunk.

"You think I did good?" He mumbled. Cloud needed to hear that approval, and he hated it, but without it doubt would start to set in. He was no match for his inner doubts, but a word of praise from Angeal could cut them all down in their tracks. Thankfully he didn't seem to mind. None of his comments were fluff, either; Cloud could count on him to give him an honest opinion.

"Your left arm still isn't as strong as your right, but that's only to be expected. That will take at least a year to correct, so don't worry about it now, but it is something you'll need to work on if you plan to move up the ranks of SOLDIER one day. It's important that you have equal control over all parts of your body, and that you're able to be versatile. You're making good promise, though, and you have a lot of natural talent. Your form is excellent, and you have all the instincts. Your body just needs to catch up." Angeal paused to give him a little smile, and reached out to ruffle his hair. "And you're getting there. We're going to keep working on it until you do."

Warmth flooded through him, and a nature smile bloomed on Cloud's face. That was one of the best parts of training with Angeal, he didn't sugar coat anything. The mix of criticism and compliments only served to strengthen his resolve, rather than have him agonizing over the things he needed to fix. They'd only been at this a few months now, but already he'd made more progress than he ever had in his regular cadet classes. Not to mention, Angeal had fought hard for the right to teach him, and thinking about that still gave Cloud butterflies.

The mentor program was tough, and there were few SOLDIERs fit to train a single cadet so intensely, and even fewer cadets that were good enough to be invested in. Usually the instructors would meet and compile a list of their very best, most promising students, and deliver it to the head of the program. He would meet with the SOLDIERs that agreed to be mentors, and together they'd try to make the best matches. It was an honor and privilege to be selected, and there was much competition in the barracks to be on that list. It was practically a guaranteed spot in SOLDIER, and made it easier to advance in much less time.

Cloud hadn't been on any of the lists. He was smart and he had natural instincts, but he was small and his psych evaluations were borderline abysmal. No self confidence, an easy target for bullies, sullen, will lash out and pick fights if cornered. He was scraping though by the tip of his teeth, and would have likely fallen through the cracks if it wasn't for Zack Fair.

He and Zack had met on a mission, simple recognizance near the abandoned town of Modeoheim, where there had been rumors of terrorist activity. Cloud impressed Zack with his ability to keep up in the cold and rough terrain, and some of his mountain climbing knowledge had practically saved their lives. They became fast, natural friends, and Zack started to look out for Cloud, and even seek him out to spend some time together. Cloud's personality began to take shape, and just the encouragement of having a friend cheering him on was doing wonders for him. Still, the instructors didn't think he anywhere close to worth the company resources, and he wasn't even considered for a spot in the mentor program.

Zack was actually the program's crowning achievement, and his former mentor, Commander Angeal Hewley, was the best that there was. Commander Hewley was picky, however, and even though Zack had made 1st last year, he hadn't taken a new student yet. He claimed that he was looking for something special, something like what he'd seen in Zack, and he'd know when he found it. When Zack started to talk about his new little buddy who was having a lot of trouble in his classes but was, like, perfect for SOLDIER if he just had a little bit of a confidence boost and a growth spurt, Angeal grew intrigued. He started having Zack and Cloud over for dinner, and unexpectedly found himself as drawn to the boy as Zack was. Cloud had exactly what he was looking for, even if nobody saw it.

He fought hard for the opportunity to mentor Cloud, and even had to go as far as threatening to pull out of the program that he'd made such a success. In the end, his request was begrudgingly granted, and he couldn't wait to show them the kind of man that he knew Cloud could and would become with the right sort of polishing. Training Zack and Cloud were proving to be very different experiences already. Zack had confidence, talent, intuition, and versatility in spades, but he'd lacked the discipline and focus to control it. It was all about channeling those things into his body, and teaching him to use discretion, instead of just flying in on a whim. Cloud needed a more gentle approach. Angeal hadn't missed the way that he shyly hoped for encouragement at the end of each session, and he was more than happy to give it. With Zack, those sorts of remarks only gave him a big head and made him less likely to follow instructions. Cloud needed them in order to grow, or else he might tear himself apart and undo all that they'd worked on. He reminded Angeal of a seedling, one that needed tenderness and careful attention. He would be beautiful when he bloomed, but he needed that extra help to get there.

He was beautiful now. It was…difficult, to say the least, to keep certain thoughts out of his head around Cloud. Being sullen and prickly was his defense mechanism, but underneath, Cloud was like a breath of fresh air. His determination, his desire to please, his resolve… Angeal missed him every moment that they spent apart, though he'd never admit to it. It would be inappropriate, but he couldn't help himself from thinking about it sometimes, how Cloud's personality seemed to mesh so well with his own, how easy it was to spend time together. His friends teased him. Sephiroth gave him wry little smiles—and if even Sephiroth had picked up on it, Angeal knew he was screwed—while Genesis spouted his regular romantic poetry nonsense, and Zack went the more traditional route ("Angeal and Cloud, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G"). So perhaps he hadn't hidden his thoughts well enough for those that could read his face with ease, but he wasn't going to let it go beyond that. Cloud, too, couldn't find out. Angeal was scared at the thought, that maybe Cloud would grow uncomfortable and ask for a new mentor, or even worse, go back to being a regular cadet. Angeal knew that to make it in Shinra, Cloud needed him, because the instructors couldn't give him the hands on training that he needed. He was entirely confident that, one day, Cloud would become more successful than any of them believed he ever could.

Angeal stood and pulled Cloud to his feet, watching carefully as the blonde winced. Cloud certainly had resolve, and without Angeal around to monitor his limits, he would have worked himself into the ground. "Why don't you come over? I've got some tea that will help with your muscle aches. You did good today, you deserve to relax a little."

Cloud had grown up a lot since their first meeting, where he'd been basically star struck and barely said a word, and now an invitation to Angeal's apartment made him excited instead of nervous. "Yeah! But, um," he looked down at his tank top, stained with sweat. "Maybe I should shower first?"

Angeal had been enjoying that look, truthfully, but he wasn't about to say it. "We can both shower here, no reason for you to go all the way down to the barracks only to come back up to meet me." The 1st class gym was empty besides them anyway, no one would care that a cadet was there in the middle of the night, using up hot water.

Cloud blinked several times, at a loss for words. He was used to showering in a room with twenty other guys, usually not even bothering with the shower curtains that separated the stalls because guys would pull them back to try and embarrass you anyway. Surely the 1sts had more functional shower stalls, and Angeal wouldn't try to shame him for his scrawny form, anyway. "Is that okay?"

Geal just smiled and patted Cloud on the shoulder, heading for the showers in the back. Cloud had to scurry a bit to match pace with his longer strides, but he followed dutifully. The walls were covered by rows of lockers, and in the back was a door that opened up to a larger bathroom, with spacious (and private) shower stalls and even, to his surprise, a jacuzzi. Angeal must have caught his expression because he laughed a little. "That was Gen's doing. His bathroom was too small for it, and they would have had to knock out part of mine to expand. I convinced Lazard to let him install it here, as a compromise."

Cloud couldn't wait to make 1st. Nothing sounded nicer than a soak in Commander Rhapsodos's jacuzzi. Unless Angeal was in it too, that is. That would be much nicer. He shook off that thought and sat on the bench while Angeal opened up what must have been his locker and pulled out a clean uniform. Then he looked at Cloud, sizing him up for a moment, and stepped over to open a locker further down the row. "Zack's," he explained, tossing a shirt and a pair of gym shorts over his shoulder. Cloud managed to catch them, sort of, if you could actually catch things with your face. Angeal still had his back turned and he didn't notice. "They'll be too big, but it's better than nothing. He won't mind." As big as Zack's clothing would be on him, he would have looked like a toddler in one of Angeal's uniforms.

Angeal also pulled two towels out of a neat stack in the corner, and handed one to Cloud. "You can use any of the stalls you want, except for the two on the far end. Sephiroth and Genesis are over picky with their bath products. The rest should be regularly stocked, though." Angeal stepped into a stall of his own without another word, and pulled the curtain closed behind him. Moments later his shirt and pants were flung over the side, and a slow blush crept down Cloud's body. He's naked in there, Cloud thought. He's naked and I'm going to be naked and we're going to be in the same room, but naked. He wasn't sure if it was the best, or worst, thing to ever happen to him. Then the water kicked on and he whimpered just a little thinking about it.

He stepped into the stall across from Angeal and undressed, noting that his embarrassed flush had spread across his chest. He paid no attention to anything below the waist, too mortified to even think about it, because he had a dick and, um, Angeal did too and he wondered if Angeal's was as flushed right now as his was and oh god no train of thought aborted. Getting hard and needing to jerk off in the 1st class showers would have actually been the worst thing to ever happen to him. Instead, he turned the cold water on full blast, and focused on how chilly and miserable he was. There were pump soap and shampoo bottles and he gave himself a quick wash, and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. He could hear Angeal's shower shut off and nervously waited a bit longer until he turned his off, even though all of the shampoo had rinsed out of his hair already. He shook his head like a dog—something he never did around Zack, ever—and felt the spikes start to spring back in place. Wrapping the fluffy white towel around his waist he pulled back the curtain and stepped out.

Angeal was back in the locker room. He'd put his pants back on already but he was shirtless with the towel around his shoulders, and he was studying himself in one of the mirrors. Cloud had seen his bare arms and even the thick, stretchy uniform top that he usually wore couldn't completely hide the lines of his body, but he'd never seen Angeal like this before. He'd never seen anyone with a body like this before, all hard muscles and thick layers. He barely even looked real, with perfect everything, and a light dusting of dark hair. Cloud could have drooled, or passed out, or jumped him right there but instead he kept his head down as he walked back to the locker room and nervously removed his towel. He made sure to stay out from behind Angeal so that the hunky man wouldn't see his little pale butt in the mirror. It should have felt intimidating to be changing near him, the way it did around some of the more muscular of his classmates, but somehow it didn't. Angeal was good at that, making people feel at ease in the strangest of circumstances.

When Cloud had pulled on Zack's baggy clothing, he stepped up beside Angeal. "What are you doing?"

Geal turned and smiled at him, just a little grin, and he loved it. "Nothing. I need to shave in the morning. Are you ready?"

Cloud nodded and they left, throwing their dirty towels in the laundry basket, and they walked in comfortable silence to the elevator, and up to Angeal's apartment. This place was familiar, at least, and Cloud had grown to feel at home there. He kicked off his shoes and followed Angeal to the kitchen, where he was already filling up the teapot.

"It's in a tin in the cabinet, if you will. It's the elaborate one, you'll see it." Cloud had to stand on his tip toes to reach the tea cabinet above the sink, and he felt around until his fingers came into contact with some sort of tin. He pulled it out and decided that, yes, this had to be the one Angeal was talking about. It was adorned in fancy golden, embossed writing, and the top had a picture that was obviously Wutaian in origin, a colorfully painted dragon. Angeal was right, it was elaborate; just the tin itself looked expensive. Cloud suddenly felt uncomfortable, unsure how to voice his concerns.

Luckily, Angeal had turned around to take it from him, and recognized the look on his face. In fact, it was the same expression he'd worn when Genesis had gifted him this particular present. Sometimes you just had to learn to accept gifts, even if they did seem a bit ridiculous, because it put a smile on the face of the person giving it to you. "Don't worry. It was a gift from Genesis, I've had it for years. My body doesn't quite ache as much as it used to, so I don't get much of an opportunity to drink it. I want you to have some."

Cloud still looked a little hesitant, but it seemed to be an excuse that he could accept, because he handed the tin over and let Angeal get the tea prepared. "Your hair is back to normal already," he noted, amused at the way that the spikes had risen back into place. His own hair was still damp, but it naturally fell the way it always did.

"Not you too," Cloud groaned. "I hear enough of that from Zack, and his head looks like a porcupine!"

Angeal laughed heartily at that, and reached over to ruffle Cloud's hair once again. "I've got plenty of blackmail on Zack, I'll share some with you later."

Cloud seemed very excited about the prospect of that, and they chatted about Zack until the tea was done, and Angeal served Cloud in a mug that his fanclub had sent him as a gift. Start every morning with a cup of honor! read the front. There had been more designs, but several of them had his face on them, and those mugs were collecting dust in the very back of the cabinet. Cloud had laughed at this particular mug before, and he smiled when Angeal handed it to him.

They drank their tea sitting on either end of the couch, and Cloud realized how at home he felt here. His feet were curled up underneath him and he was sipping warm tea like he belonged here, like it was somewhere he would stay. He knew that Angeal would welcome him here any time that he wanted, but it wasn't quite the same. He thought about what it would be like to relax like this at the end of the night, before bed. His muscles actually felt better already, and the rest of him felt so at ease that he probably could have fallen asleep right there.

Instead, he glanced at Angeal from across the couch. He had his big hands around a mug, completely obscuring the design on it, though Cloud already knew that it was a simple dumbapple logo. He'd mentioned needing to shave earlier, but the scruffy look really suited him. It really fit with the rugged manly vibe he had going on, though anyone who knew him well knew that sometimes he used baby talk with his plants, which was the exact opposite of manly. Cloud thought it was cute though, it was just a good reminder of how sweet and sensitive of a man he was, though he looked like a big scary warrior. Not right now but, you know, in general.

He must have been staring because Angeal raised and eyebrow and gave him a very tiny smile. "Need something?"

Cloud jerked his eyes away and felt another blush creep across his face like fog. This time there was no physical exertion to blame it on. "Sorry."

"I don't mind," Angeal answered, and they locked eyes for a second before the older man looked away and busied himself by putting his mug on the coffee table and not looking at Cloud. But for a second—that split second—Cloud was sure he'd seen something there. A love, a longing, something… Something that made him want to close the distance between them and melt into Angeal's lap. Angeal was looking away but Cloud kept his eyes on him, needed desperately to feel that moment again, needing conformation of the electricity he could feel winding it's way through the air, like lightning bolts striking him in the chest.

"Can I ask you something?" Cloud muttered quietly. His hands were starting to shake, and the last few drops of his tea swirled around in the mug. His throat went dry and his heart began to pound in his chest, but he kept his eyes locked on Angeal.

"Anything," Angeal replied, bringing his dark blue eyes back up to meet Cloud's. There it was again, that feeling, that moment, and this time neither of them were looking away. They never wanted to look away again. Angeal turned so that he was sitting sideways with his back against the armrest. Cloud set his tea down and crawled across the couch, where Angeal's arms were waiting open for him. Their chests pressed together, and Cloud cupped Geal's jaw, rubbing his thumbs in circles across the stubble he found there, exhaling hard with need. His breath tickled against Angeal's face and he curled his arms around Cloud's slim waist, holding him close, just where he'd always wanted him. Cloud was on his knees and it made him taller, so he tilted his head back and waiting for the brush of the lips that was quick to follow. Cloud was inexperienced, and nervous, but he was perfect and Angeal guided his movements and molded their tongues together, teaching him the same way he'd taught him about stances and footwork. Except this had nothing to do with fighting, was completely the opposite, as they learned one another and exchanged the same breaths back and forth.

When Cloud was dizzy with the intensity of it, he pulled back and Angeal gave a little, involuntary sigh. He wanted breathe it in a keep it, a secret between the two of them, the culmination of a moment so right that neither could find the words. They didn't need words, not when they had the little kisses that Angeal was tracing across his jaw, and the pressure of his fingers against the small of Cloud's back. He tangled his fingers up in Angeal's hair and leaned into it all, desperate to be in this moment. It seemed to stretch on forever, until kisses dissolved into cuddles, and Clouds face was deliciously red from all of the attention. He learned another new thing, how easily his face was made to fit into the crook of Angeal's neck, and how he could just relax and let this man hold him completely. Geal was still rubbing up and down his sides, making him shiver in delight at the new sensations, and for a long while they simply laid together, existing as a single unit, as something new and unknown and precious. They were bathed in moonlight when Angeal finally sighed, and shifted. "It's getting late. You should go."

Cloud glanced up. He couldn't see Angeal's face, but he could see the curve of his cheek, the tip of his nose, the slant of the side of his forehead. These were new things that he hadn't studied, and he couldn't leave yet, not until he'd committed them to memory. "I want to stay," he answered quietly, as if afraid that his voice would break the tranquility of the moment.

Even from this angle he could tell Angeal was smiling. "I want you to stay."

"Then I'm staying." With that settled, he sat up so that he could press their faces closer together. It made Angeal go cross-eyed, which was cute and so unexpected that Cloud began to giggle. He rubbed their cheeks together, liking the way that Angeal's stubble felt against his own soft skin. "You're really sexy, you know," he admitted, blushing but feeling euphoric.

"Oh?" Angeal raised an eyebrow. "I think you're beautiful. I think I always have."

He was used to the way Angeal's compliments about his form and footwork made him feel, but it was nothing compared to the way that comment made him feel. He wondered if Angeal could feel his heart through his chest, the way it was beating so erratically.

They sat in silence again for a moment until Cloud, still high off the joy of being touched so gently by this man, spoke again. "You should stop wearing shirts, like, ever. You could probably take over Shinra and cause world peace and convince everyone in the world to adopt a dog. You've gotta take the shirt off first though."

Three seconds of silence passed between them until Angeal began to laugh, and Cloud grinned into his chest as it shook, rolling over and propping his chin up on Angeal's sternum as he began to laugh too. The night stretched on in a blur of kisses and new feelings, bared souls and open hearts. Angeal thought they should go to bed, but Cloud wouldn't hear it until he agreed to a break from training the next day. They needed more time to explore this, whatever it was, and when he told Cloud that he could sleep on the couch for the night, Cloud was less than pleased. He wanted them to stay curled up through the night, and he pouted as Angeal brought out a pillow and blanket out into the living room for him. At least he conned Geal into an extra five minutes of goodnight kisses, but when his…mentor? Boyfriend? Kissing teacher? Snuggle buddy? Hunk extraordinaire? When his Geal retreated to the bedroom, Cloud felt a bit of that dreaded doubt start to creep in. What if he changed his mind in the morning? What if he tried to let Cloud down easy? What if he didn't even want to give this a chance?

These thoughts raced through Cloud's head, and he was almost ready to just leave so they could talk about it in the morning, when Angeal's door opened back up and something was flung out of it. It was his shirt, Cloud discovered, when it landed square on his face. The man seemed to have uncanny aim when he wasn't looking. Cloud laughed and buried his face in it, inhaling the scent that he was already becoming familiar with.

Maybe he could love me, Cloud thought as his eyes closed and he was drifting off to sleep. I'm gonna get big and strong like him so we can go on missions together and be the best partners ever. Maybe we could take a shower together next time. I bet he has a nice ass. I hope he lets me stay here forever.

Angeal was lying in bed and he was trying to sleep, but his eyes kept straying to his bedroom door. Cloud was out there, beautiful Cloud who was already blooming into something that exceeded his expectations. He'd known there was something special about Cloud from the first time they'd met, but he hadn't known that it was this, that a couple of clumsy kisses could make him feel so at peace. He'd asked to stay, and Angeal hoped that he'd stay forever.