Brothers.
"This is what brothers are for."
- Dean Brody – Brothers
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Alex Shepherd squinted to see by the dim glow of his small flashlight beneath the bed sheets. The bulb flickered, dimming further, occasionally going out altogether before a shake of the plastic frame jolted it back to life.
His stomach growled like an empty oil drum bouncing down the sidewalk, hollow and echoing. He wasn't sure what time it was – passed midnight probably – but he was hungry. He'd been denied dinner...again. Not just dessert, dinner too.
Why? Because his parents were retarded. It wasn't his fault the dog ran away. He wasn't the one who left the gate open. Sure, it was his turn to walk the mutt, but a new movie was opening at the local theatre – a rundown little spit of a place with one theatre, a screen the side of the town's welcome sign, and popcorn that tasted like cardboard – and he'd wanted to go with the rest of his friends. So he gave Josh half of this week's allowance and promised to spend the rest of the evening catching frogs down by the lake if the runt took his turn. He did, failing to securely lock the back gate before coming in for hot dogs and homemade French fries.
But Adam and Lillian didn't yell at Josh. They didn't scold him for letting the dog get out. They didn't remind him that it was "his dog they ran around town looking for" or make him cry by stating that he was likely to never come back. They didn't send him to his room without dinner or dessert or deny him the next week' – and the week after's – allowance and ground him until when – or if – the dog returned. Josh got off scot free, just like he always did, while Alex was left to pick up the slack.
He rolled over onto his back, causing the wooden bunk bed frame to creak and wiggle. A dark thought ran briefly through his head, considering the possibility that the frame might break and Alex – all one hundred-fifty pounds of him – and the mattress might crush Josh beneath one of these days. He shook his head; Josh bugged him, but he'd never wish him dead.
"Alex."
And speak of the devil. Alex rolled his eyes and pulled the blankets from over his head. He made no effort to hide his impatience. They never did go frog hunting; shame that. "What?"
"What are you doing?" Josh stood at the top of the rickety ladder, staring at Alex over the head of the Robbie the Rabbit doll Adam won him the last time they visited the Lakeside Amusement Park in Silent Hill. God, Alex hated that thing. It looked like it would kill you in your sleep. Or at least bite your arm off.
He stuffed the magazine under his thigh. If Josh saw it, surely he'd tell their parents. And though Alex was nineteen - and thus, the purchase completely legal - he wasn't particularly interested in admitting to anyone that he read from a dirty magazine he kept under a loose floorboard in a room he shared with his younger brother – but the house was too small, Adam said. And besides, Josh was afraid of the dark; he felt better when Alex was around. "Nothing. Go to bed."
"I can't sleep."
"Why?" Nightmares again, probably.
But Josh didn't answer immediately and his eyes darted back and forth. "I'm sorry about today. It was my fault he ran away. Dad shouldn't have gotten mad at you."
Alex's brows moved up and down once and he smacked his pillow a few times. "Yeah, well, thanks. But it's not like it's anything new. I've gotten used to it."
Josh moved higher on the ladder, almost so that he was on the top mattress as well. "Why do you think Mom and Dad hate you?"
"Beats me," he answered. "Maybe I was an accident."
"Huh?"
"Never mind." Josh hadn't been given the Talk yet, and Alex wasn't about to give it to him. His stomach growled again. God he was hungry.
"Hold on," Josh said and disappeared down the ladder. Alex leaned over the side of the railing, watching him kneel in front of the bed and rummage around underneath. He produced a box and, tucking it under his arm, climbed back up. "I managed to sneak a few more when Mom was doing the dishes. Here." And he thrust out the box.
Alex, propped up on his elbow, stared at him warily. "That's not the same box you use for your bugs, is it?"
"No, don't worry," he said and lifted the lid. "I was going to save them for later, but you're hungry."
Alex looked inside. There, wrapped in a napkin among baseball cards and pictures drawn in crayon, were three home-baked, chocolate chip cookies. His face brightened and he swallowed the first in two large bites. The pieces slide down his throat slowly, getting stuck partway down – too high to drop into his stomach, but too low to regurgitate – for a moment before continuing down.
"Thanks man. You don't happen to have a glass of milk under your pillow or something too?"
Josh shook his head, believing he was serious. "No. That would have spilled."
Alex decided not to tell him he'd been kidding. He ate the second cookie slower, enjoying the soft dough and sweet milk chocolate. Then again, to a hungry belly, mud would have tasted like chocolate pudding. As he picked up the third cookie, he noticed Josh's gaze turn envious. Obviously he'd snatched the cookies for himself. It was hard to watch his hard stealth work go down his brother's throat.
Alex broke the cookie in half and gave the larger piece to Josh. "Here. Take it."
Josh wasted no time arguing. He adjusted himself on the mattress, sitting with his legs crossed and that retarded rabbit on his lap, staring into nothingness, and took a bite of the cookie. For a while, there was only silence between the boys.
"So why can't you sleep?" Alex asked after he'd finished and dusted the crumbs from his hands and jungle green t-shirt. They scattered along the mattress, so he brushed them onto the floor.
Josh looked at him nervously. "I had a bad dream again."
Figured. "What about?"
"I dunno," he admitted. "I can't really remember. I think I was swimming, though, or at least trying to. But everything's dark and it's like I'm really tired. I can't see well, can't think. I think I'm drowning. And all that happens is a light in front of me gets dimmer and dimmer."
Alex made a face. It was that damn rabbit, he was sure of it. It was so freaky it gave Josh nightmares. That, the bugs and Dad's collection of taxidermy hunting trophies. It was enough to scare the shit out of anyone.
But Alex was sympathetic, as usual, and handed him the flashlight. "Sleep with this so the nightmares don't come back. The battery's a little low, but it should be okay."
Josh took it from him, holding it delicately as though it were made of glass. "Thanks Alex." Then his brow came together. "But what will keep the nightmares away from you?"
"I don't really – " Before he could properly reply, Josh shoved Robbie in his face.
"Take Robbie. He'll keep the nightmares away. Just for tonight though. I want him back in the morning."
Alex stared at the toy, turning it from side to side. Keep the nightmares away. Hah! If it was so good at it, why did Josh need his flashlight? He rolled his shoulders and took it anyway, appriciating the gesture. "Thanks Josh."
He smiled and started descending the ladder carefully. "What're brothers for?" And just before he disappeared over the edge, he grinned. "Put the magazine away though, okay? I don't want Robbie getting dirty."
As a warm blush rose to Alex's face, Josh darted down to his bunk, seeking refuge beneath the sheets while he laughed quietly so not to wake their parents. Alex grumbled, too tired – and still hungry – to bother chasing after him. So he lay back and raised Robbie over his face, examining the pink rabbit. God it was freaky, but it was the thought that count.
"Goodnight Alex," Josh said from below.
"Night Josh." He shook his head, grinning as he tucked Robbie under his arm.
What were brothers for, indeed?
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Fin