1. Cold Lamps and furnace
When Akutagawa and Gin used to roam the streets where rain (Wet clothes on their backs), heat (constant thirst hallowed out their mouths) and hunger (the painful painful tug on their stomachs) were a constant companion, Gin who was still too young to think of remorse, Akutaga decided that he will burn this world down.
2. Headmaster
When Atsushi was still in the orphanage, knowing nothing abnormal of being punished with the slightest bit of mistake (because he did do something wrong, no matter how small or non-existent it was—) wished that someday it will not hurt as much. When they hit him still with sticks thicker than his ghastly arms and legs full of purplish and yellow bruises, his screams would no longer be as loud.
3. Cold Blood
When Gin had shivered, breathed and choked as if air itself was shards of glass, Akutagawa had no choice but to shed his remaining cover for the intense cold, and even it was ragged and all torn up, softly secured it on his sister's thin shoulders. Akutagawa could only clench his teeth, tasting the tangy iron blood in the aftermath.
4. Forsaken Children
They were both orphans, roughened and jaded up by the harsh unforgiving world they were brought up into. Had they met earlier, would they have looked each other with different ideals? The same pain, the same suffering. Had they met in different circumstances, would they have had the power kill each other just for the sake of winning, just for the sake of survival? But this was their present now. Too late and too different from what could have and should have been.
Akutagawa was instructed to kill, to assassinate, while Atsushi vowed to protect and save.
5. Hate
Akutagawa had hated, no, loathed atsushi then for being considered above him by Dazai himself. Atsushi did not know that. Atsushi was just oblivious as to why could this man hate him personally when they weren't involved as such. There could have been no use for more 'what-if's' or 'it-should-have's'. It's painful that they had to hurt and continue to hate each other until the very end. Or perhaps if God forbids it, may he be true or not, indulge just a little bit of mercy and drain them a part of the consuming feeling, just enough to let each other go and be on with the lives of their chosen (forced) family.
6. Please God
But God was not merciful to the likes of them. Why? When those who are hurt keep hurting and those who laugh keeps on laughing. They were all just a lot of lost stray dogs given scraps of crumbs here and there, and maybe just a little bit of hope and happiness to look forward to.
7. Clothes and Claws
Another struck from Rashomon, had the man tiger howling with pain. Another blow from the man tiger's deadly claws had akutagawa spitting blood. Atsushi always had the advantage, being able to regenerate even so much a severed limb though only in his transformed bestial creature he so hated before. Akutagawa can only do so much to protect his already life-battered body with his power. Though he was strong in most aspects, smart and always steps ahead of the enemy, his ability prowess feared by most, just a little bit like Dazai.
8. Together
Not until one or both of them is dead only will they be able to finally finally rest. This had to suffice now, right? After the long arduous battle of loss, failures and life itself, they will die together, by the hands of each other. Surely not one of them will be able to live soundly knowing they have the blood of each other staining their hands and their very soul.
No, of course not, not after ingraining themselves to each other's core, call it an unhealthy obsession, to be able to kill one another.
9. Soul mate and Destiny
They did not believe in destinies or soul mates. Not even Atsushi who can be as ever gullible like Kenji. He is smart enough to know happiness had to be always always earned through bloodied and bruised body and mind. More so with Akutagawa, Akutagawa too knew only this harsh reality where no one is ever safe from mistrust, pain, hate and everything that lies in between.