Rating: PG-13 (implied sexual content, but nothing graphic)
Disclaimer: All characters, places, song lyrics, etc. belong to Square and Chris Isaak respectively. Not that it would be worth lawyers fees to bring a lawsuit against me anyway. Sorry to Chris Isaak and his fans if I got some of the lyrics wrong...
A/N: Okay, this doesn't have nearly the staunch characterization of Waiting for Magic...so just let yourself go with it. Meaningless fluff...
Wicked Game
The beach ran beneath Quistis' sandaled feet, a white ribbon lain between the brilliant ocean and dull grass. The sand was heavy and the hot, humid air was filled with the heady scent of a passing tempest. She'd sat in her dorm room as the rain came down, watching it pound against her window and letting the lightning flash through the darkened air. However, the crackle of electricity she'd felt then was gone as the weight of the evening air rested against her skin.
She took a deep breath, attempting to steady herself. She was well aware that she often let little things get her down, that she was prone to bouts of bitter and unreasonable sadness, but it had been seeming to come with more force since the announcement numerous engagements. All of her friends were moving on - Rinoa and Squall, Selphie and Irvine, even Zell - and Quistis was starting to feel left behind.
Her heart heavy and her eyes blurred with a sudden onslaught of tears, she'd walked through the high grass of the Alcauld Plains to the white, crystalline Balamb beach. There, with the waves lapping endlessly at the shore and the sun extinguishing itself far off in the ocean's depths, she knew she could find some measure of peace.
Strange, she thought, that she should seek out solitude in face of loneliness.
Her calves quivered as she continued to walk, and she fought the almost irresistible urge to sink down onto the sand. She could almost feel it, grainy and cool, pressing against her cheek...
Shaking her head, she tossed her shoulders back.
Only when she brought her head up, casting her gaze down the path she had been journeying upon, did she notice Seifer's form. The sun was behind him, turning him into an all together remarkable silhouette. The sharp line of his nose, the gentle curve of his chin, and the wide, muscular expanses of his shoulders and chest were on vivid display, causing Quistis to pause and take notice.
Once or twice she'd looked at Seifer and considered him attractive, even sexy, but the sudden reaction she felt rush through her veins was something completely new.
Seifer turned, as if sensing her surveillance, removing his vision from far stretches of ocean and allowing his unnerving gaze to land squarely upon her own. Somehow, his eyes were everything at once -- hostile, indifferent, passionate. Quistis wondered if any of those present emotions were directed at her or just residual effects from whatever he'd been thinking about. Childishly, she hoped the flare of desire was for her.
The world was on fire and
No one could save me but you
She felt all the air rush out of her body and her heart slammed painfully into her ribs. As an afterthought, she supposed the sudden onslaught of violent emotion was visible in her countenance. Seifer paused, furrowing his brow slightly, before taking a somewhat hesitant step in her direction. As if on command, the heavy air swept into motion, catching in Seifer's trench coat and billowing it up behind him. The sand caved under his weight, causing him to slide toward her slightly as he stopped.
Quistis couldn't help comparing the moment to all the dramatic boy meets girl passages in romance novels -- not that she would ever admit to having read a romance novel. Still, the striking figure of Seifer against the setting sun with the ocean air ripping through his hair was one she wouldn't readily forget.
Biting firmly onto her lip, she paused and attempted to reign in her emotions. She'd never had such a strong reaction to Seifer before, why should she now?
"Instructor." He let the word roll off his lips and regarded her with hooded eyes.
"Seifer," she returned, trying to hide her own expression. In no way did it mirror Seifer's teasing, sexy grin. Rather, her face held hunger and weakness. She'd never realized that she could be so thirsty for attention.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
"What're you doing out here?" he asked, waving a hand and letting his trench coat brush against her legs. He was close, she could almost feel him surrounding her, suffocating her. "Looking for me?"Cocky, and she wanted to hate him for it. Quistis' lungs heaved, and he leaned a little closer, his eyes eagerly searching hers for a reaction. Those eyes...turbulent as the distant seas and a deep, disturbing aqua. She knew that she was loosing her mind. There was no reason she could find to explain her very sudden attraction to the man standing next to her.
Perhaps that was it. Seifer was, after all, about as much man as she had ever seen.
Even more likely, she reflected, was the fact that she was desperate.
"Just out for a walk," she bit out, angry at herself and him. She hated how tall and strong he appeared. She hated his confidence which, she had to admit, was extremely alluring. Despite herself, she found her eyes traveling up and down his body, ignoring his mocking eyes. Would it be so bad, she wondered, just to spend a little time with Seifer? Would it be so bad to feel his touch, to let him take her over?
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
Quistis took a deep breath and forced her gaze back up to meet Seifer's. His eyes were narrowed, suspicious, and knowing.
"Don't let me stop you," he blurted out, his shoulders rolling back. She could only guess at what had suddenly caused him to tense. However, as she looked past him to the long, cool expanse of sand she found herself not wanting to leave. Seifer was, at best, intoxicating, and Quistis desperately wanted to loose herself. Even for a moment, she wanted to be reckless. She was tired to being the good girl, tired of being predictable and reliable. For once -- just once -- she wanted to let go of all her stiff-necked stereotypical instructor characteristics.
"I could say the same to you," she countered. Her rebuttal seemed to take him by surprise as she stood firm, unrelenting under his hostile gaze. At the same time, she felt that he knew what she wanted from him. Whether he would be reluctant to give it had never crossed her mind.
Seifer had never been easy to deal with, she remembered bits and pieces of their childhood together. She was the boss, and he was the bully. Naturally, they found themselves at odds more often than not. However, from time to time, they would ally themselves. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with. She remembered thinking at one point that eventually they would overcome their differences. Then, even as a rocky and fragile companionship had begun to form underneath them, they were pulled apart.
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
He laughed, bringing her abruptly back to the present. She shook her head firmly, not understanding the tendency of her thoughts to cast a kind light on Seifer. She could only reinforce how dangerous forgetting what he was could be. All she wanted from him was one night, one hour...a single moment, and nothing else.
No, I don't want to fall in love
"What do you want?" he asked, getting right to the point. His arms came in front of his chest, crossing and emphasizing just how wide and powerful his shoulders were. "You obviously want something, or you would have gone on with your walk."
"Nothing," she lied, swallowing back the urge to beg, to touch. He was so close, so available.
"Then leave," he bit out, angry again. His moods were normally volatile, but the churning storm that was raging through his eyes was new to Quistis. Seifer, she realized, was probably the one person in Garden more tormented than herself, and carried more validity with his pain than she ever could. The world had turned its back on him, Quistis had simply turned her back on the world. She hated how she got to close to everything only to fail. But Seifer...he was never even allowed the chance.
"Maybe I don't want to," she ventured, bringing a confused glint to his face.
No, I don't want to
fall in love
With you
He'd started to walk away from her, but her refusal to leave stopped him in his tracks. Curiously, he took one more step back toward her, running his gaze quickly over her.
"You should," he barked. "Remember who you're talking to, Instructor. Hyne only knows what I'll do to you if you stay." His tone was that of a sneer, intending not only to hurt Quistis but at the same time himself. Yet his words brought a shiver through her. Was he implying the image that sentence made flash through her mind?
"I'm not afraid of you, Seifer," she announced, allowing her muscles to relax, "or what you'll do to me." The straining was wearing her out, she wanted to give in. She couldn't fight it anymore, and she didn't want to be alone.
"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow. "You ought to be afraid of me, Quistis." He took off his gloves, stuffing them into his coat pocket and reached out for her with one bare hand. His fingers brushed her arm, raising gooseflesh on her skin. He noted the reaction and took another step toward her, moving his hand up to trail along her jaw.
He stared at her, watching for any indication of how his sudden advance was being received. She knew what he was looking for, but knew that he wouldn't find it. He wanted to see the revulsion in her eyes, the anger that he knew simmered within her. Yet, as the blood raged through her body and she acknowledged -- even accepted -- her need for him, all he would find hovering in the depths of her eyes was desire.
What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way
His head snapped up in surprise and for a moment he stared down at her. His touch, however, never wavered. If that had been any indication of what was about to happen, Quistis would have been more prepared. But, as Seifer suddenly lunged toward her, she gasped in surprise. His free hand came up, burying itself at the back of her head, and he kissed her. Only, this was like no kiss Quistis had ever experienced.
Boarder-line violent and extremely demanding, he forced her jaw open. His body was close, pressing up against hers. The taste and smell of him engulfed her. Her fingers had come up to his arms where they tightened into fists around the sleeves of his trench coat. She pulled at the material and tilted her head back obediently when Seifer pulled at her hair.
He pulled away from her suddenly, taking a long, deep breath. Quistis was dazed but immediately missed his presence.
"Very afraid, Quistis," he rasped. "You should be very afraid of me."
Whatever was driving his weakness, feeding his hunger for her, was apparently just as strong as Quistis' own reasons for coming to him. A moment later, he returned to her, bringing her harshly up against him before eventually dragging her down onto the wet sand.
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
The beach was cool underneath her and bit at her hot skin. She didn't notice the sand clinging in her hair and to her clothes. The only thing that existed in her world was Seifer and what he was doing to her. He was kissing her again, biting her and taking her over. His kiss wasn't the sharing kind, but the kind that dominated. Quistis felt conquered. Under his iron fisted dictatorship was just where she wanted to be, and she gave in to Seifer's ever command. He exploited her obvious weakness, his hands running down her body and his mouth unrelenting.
"Oh, Hyne," he gasped when he finally pulled away for air.
Quistis too was at a want for air and somehow managed to force out a stray thought running through her mind before Seifer's head dipped once again.
"I didn't know you liked me."
Seifer froze, staring down at her. His eyes immediately glazed over with a sort of protective sheen. Betraying no singular emotion he chuckled.
"I've never liked you, Instructor."
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
His announcement was enough to bring her back to reality. She felt him on top of her, felt the heat of his body radiating into her own, and was slightly sickened. Would he compromise her only to use it as blackmail? Was he exacting some form of revenge? As much as she wanted to drown her sadness in him, she wouldn't allow him to bring that much more misery into her life. As little as she wanted to admit it, his denial of all kind feelings toward her hurt.
Frowning, she pushed him off the top of her and scrambled to her feet. A shower of sand fell from her. Seifer sat, not even having the decency to look embarrassed. Quistis searched for some reply and, finding none, turned to run. She didn't want him to see the tears streaming down her face. She ran back to her dorm room, ignoring the stray gazes she caught from students as she ran past them.
The door slammed behind her and, choking back a sob, she leaned heavily against it. She could still taste him, could still feel his hand running hot along her thigh.
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
Running her fingers through her stiff hair, she watched sand fall onto her dorm room floor. Things had gone too far, she knew that. Still, she'd wanted them to go further. She still found a desire to go right back into his waiting arms burning stubbornly within her. He was a hard man to shake, and he'd definitely gotten under her skin -- among other things.
Taking a few long, deep breaths she attempted to stabilize her insides. Peeling off her wet, sandy clothes she gingerly pulled on a pair of pajamas. Her brush caught in her hair and she had to stand over a garbage can to catch what had to be half the beach falling from her head. The pain in her scalp was a welcome reminder of how Seifer would, and had, hurt her.
And I don't wanna fall in love
No good would ever come from a liaison between them. Getting involved with him would tear her apart. He was a temptation worthy of the Garden of Eden, but she had to resist allowing herself to fall into him.
And I don't want to fall in love
Climbing in to bed, she tried her best to remember that. However, she knew Seifer would invade her dreams. She could almost feel his lips on hers, could almost sense him nearby...
Seifer's muscles tensed as he walked by Quistis' door. He couldn't get that look on her face out of his mind. Not the one before she'd run, but the one when she'd stood her ground, wanting him. In all his wildest dreams, he'd never even imagined Quistis feeling that way toward him. He knew it was loneliness that had driven her to him, that she wanted to drown. He was the lake, willing to take her in, and she was just blindly wandering toward him.
Still, his blood quickened as he remembered the way she reacted to his touch. If moments ago she'd needed him, it was now the other way around. He'd driven her away with the truth, he didn't love her. He couldn't love her. How could he love anyone? Still, he needed to feel that trust. She'd been about to hand herself over without question. Well, with one question...the one Seifer couldn't answer.
Pausing a few steps past her door, he turned. She was inside, he knew she was. He also knew she wouldn't push him away if he went to her. She was weak, and he wanted her.
World was on fire
No one could save me but you
He debated for a few moments whether or not he should knock. Would she answer if he did? He wanted to take her by surprise, if she had the time to build up her defenses and slide back into reality he knew she would shove him away. Hesitantly, he went to open the door and found it unlocked. She must have been really riled up, he reflected, if she hadn't even locked her door before going to bed.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
She sat up in bed as he closed the door behind him, being sure to lock it. The room was dark, and he could barely make out her form, but he heard her ragged intake of breath as he walked up to her.
"Seifer..." she started, but he couldn't let her finish. If she finished, he'd hear what he didn't want to. If she finished, she might realize that he wasn't the answer to her problems. He couldn't allow that to happen, he wouldn't.
So, instead, he kissed her. Hard, demanding, and hot...the action leached energy from his muscles and pumped it in all at the same time. She didn't push him away, instead wrapping an arm around him.
Distractedly kicking off his shoes and pulling his arms out of his still sandy trench coat, he climbed onto her bed, pinning her once again beneath him. The feeling that rushed through him when she gasped and began to kiss him back was nothing short of glorious. There was a definite physical reason behind Seifer's intentions. Indeed, he'd come to her with only the thought of a night of play. Quistis had the kind of body he couldn't ignore, even if he hated her, and the thought of being given free reign of her excited him. His reaction to her blind need of him, however, originated from a much more internal force.
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
Clothing started to disappear before either had the chance to question what it was they were doing. Mad with the desire rushing through him, he bit at her. Hands were everywhere, hers included. When she lifted the covers for him to join her, his heart soared. Perhaps, he thought, there was more to what they were doing than forgetting their troubles. Maybe there was a reason she'd sought him out. One other than that she thought he'd be willing to help her forget.
"Make it all go away, Seifer," she gasped. "Make me forget." His world, small as it was, crumbled under her plea.
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
Hurt and a little angry, but still fiery for her, he grunted. He was a fool to think this was anything more than just what it was. He didn't want Quistis anyway. Why would he? She was a bossy, irritating instructor. She'd never liked him, he'd never liked her. That was just the way it was, and he knew that would never change. Why, for even a moment, he'd wanted it to was beyond him.
No I don't wanna fall in love
The only thing she wanted from him was a single moment. As soon as the sun rose in the morning, they'd be back to where they were, which was probably best for the both of them. Hating her, Seifer pulled her nightgown up. Why did he have to feel anything for her? Why couldn't he stop himself before things went too far? Why wasn't she stopping him?
He closed his eyes tightly, knowing the answer to all his questions. He served his purpose well in a physical sense, but Quistis was better than him in every other sense. They could never be, never would be. He was, after all, Seifer Almasy. He couldn't forget that, couldn't ever forget what he'd done and why he was so widely hated. And she, well...she may as well have been forged of gold.
Angry, he kissed her again. Her fingers scraped painfully across his back, and she begged him once again to make everything go away. As much as he hated himself for wanting her and hated her for needing him, he knew that he would make everything disappear. And, come morning, he would as well...
No I don't wanna fall in love
With you
Quistis and Seifer both sat in silence, touching one another but both off in their own worlds. Quistis wasn't yet sure whether she regretted what had happened. Seifer, trailing a hand down her side, was considering his own place in her head and heart. Both looked at one another, saw loneliness, pain, and the aching need that they shared. Nevertheless, both knew that even as they were as close as two people to get, they were separated by chasms deeper than either could be asked to traverse.
Desire, want, and need...but love?
With you
Nobody loves no one