A/N: This is just a random thought that passed by me as I re-watched Hunter x Hunter. I don't know but I had this habit. Hahaha. *sweatdrops*

DISCLAIMER: Hunter x Hunter is copyrighted by Togashi Yoshihiro. Any names of persons or places cited in this story are purely fictional and are not intended to copy others; produced and is copyrighted by Ellarie Soulhart. Should there be any copies of this fiction would have an equivalent sanction.

Sanity's Missing Piece

© Ellarie Soulhart

September 2015

"I told you he'll make it." Leorio said surely with a mixture of a sad and happy grin to Kurapika, who was sitting beside him and was looking forward. The latter was indeed happy of course, but like Leorio, sadness was also coursing his veins.

Leorio became a successful doctor with emitter abilities and Kurapika became one of the top Blacklist Hunters in the world. It's quite bizarre since one gives people a chance to live and the other hunted for rogue hunters and criminals such as the Genei Ryodan; but still, they were the best of friends, and they wouldn't be entirely complete without their youngest friends who showed them how life was good.

At least before, that was.

It had been six years past, and even though that they were calling each other and sending pictures of their latest escapades, last year was the only chance that they were able to set up a reunion. However, that reunion was incomplete, and here they were, waiting for their second attempt for a reunion.

In a hospital.

Small finger movements made the two friends jerk in surprise and both approached the bed without hesitation. There were a total of 11 twitches before the entire hand actually moved and that's where the miracle took shape. Eyes had finally opened and looked tentatively around, trying to get it accustomed to light once again since it had been asleep for a year, until his pupils landed on two familiar figures.

Eyes immediately and uncharacteristically watered.

"L-Leo-rio…" the scratchy voice said softly. "K-Kura-Kurapi-ka…" he went on with the call, making the two friends quickly but carefully hugged him.

"Killua." They both said in unison.

A few days later, Killua had started showing signs of healing – inside and outside of his body – and like the way he was, recuperating at a high speed, though of course, some parts of his body needed the slow time to heal and Leorio was drilling him not to do strenuous activities. Kurapika was in-charge of watching him. It's just a good thing that the blacklist hunter didn't have any missions to finish.

While Killua was in this state, the three friends used this moment to share stories about their expeditions and they were all delighted for each and everyone's success. They began reminiscing events when they first saw each other in the Hunter exams, how they fought for their lives to pass, and how they build friendly relationships with the others. Of course, there were ups and downs in the story, but there was one thing that Leorio and Kurapika caught from Killua, and it made the other cringed as he told the story.

"Gon lost his control over his nen?" Kurapika slowly asked.

Killua nodded, "It was unexpected. We were fighting the Chimera Ant King and his subordinates, and he saw Kaito dead. That's where he lost his power." He explained while fiddling his blanket.

"Kaito?" Leorio repeated the name. "Is he someone from the exams?"

Killua shook his head, "No, he's Gon's father's student. We came across him when we won in the Greed Island game and was transported to him when we took out an item from the game." He explained. "Gon was so devastated when Kaito died. I don't know what happened after, but we're all pretty sure wounded when Gon's power was unleashed." Then, he shivered as he remembered the events came rushing into his mind and continued speaking, "I never thought Gon would possess such power. I know he's strong, but his resolve to punish and kill the reason why Kaito died was way farther than I do."

"He must be very valuable to him." Kurapika said carefully.

"He's one of the keys to his father's wherebouts, yes." Killua supplied, "But there was more to it, and I can see, because Kaito met Gon way before we did."

Leorio smiled, as if teasing but was not that all happy, "You're jealous, aren't you?"

Killua sent a glare and said, "Isn't it obvious yet?"

"You make it sound you're in love to Gon."

And that's when Killua realized everything. But there's still one thing missing,

"Where's Gon?"

It took Killua half a year to heal and it was indeed amazing since normally, a person could be said totally healed after a year or so, assuming there had been no traumatic experiences from the patient's end. According to Leorio, Killua's healing pace was good and there had been no trauma, but for precautionary measures, he decided to monitor Killua's health and even contacted a psychologist to monitor his mental health, to which Killua strongly disagreed on. But of course, Leorio was the doctor and he knew better what's good for his friend, and so he became firm on Killua regarding his mental health issue.

And so, they decided to go on an adventure, together.

"So where are we exactly going?" Leorio asked.

Killua smirked, "To the place that only I once visited exclusively."

Kurapika raised his eyebrows and said, "I take it you're well matured not to fool us both, aren't you?"

"And I take it that you're not stupid enough to ask that to me, are you, Kurapika?" Killua bit back to which the other just sighed, but smiled once he turned his head to the sea.

After a few minutes, they were able to spot the very place they were intending to visit, and Killua's eyes couldn't be any happier. "We're here!"

"Whale Island?" Leorio asked. He calculated that it could be another 30 minutes before they could dock. "What are we exactly doing here?"

"To find Gon." Killua simply answered. "He lives here, you know. And we went here right after we left Zoaldyck Estate and won in the Heaven's Arena."

'What?!" The doctor exclaimed, holding both of Killua's shoulder and said, "You didn't even call us for that sweet vacation!"

"Hey, the two of you are busy, and Gon was very much the kind-hearted one not to disturb you." Killua reasoned out, "Besides, why would I do that? You two would have ruined our perfect vacation. TOGETHER."

Kurapika sighed, "Could you be at least a little discreet on saying you love Gon?"

Killua could only just huff in response.

They spent their thirty minutes on knowing about Whale Island as Killua rambled about it. True, Whale Island was but a little island, but peaceful. Surprisingly, the crew on the ship told them that the people in Whale Island took a step to digital just a few years back, and then they were gaining revenues from it. As the trio look at the Island, they couldn't help but be mesmerized. Sure it was getting to the technology age, but the beauty of nature in there was carefully preserved.

Then, the ship docked.

The three hunters thanked the captain for the safe ride and hastily dismounted the ship, having Killua lead them towards the very house where he realized how good it was to be with Gon despite his selfishness. It'll be entirely awkward, yes, because of the incident, but it never passed Killua's mind to be angered by what happened. After all, he understood.

As they approached the house, Leorio and Kurapika couldn't help but be amazed, but Killua was feeling otherwise. Something was wrong and the ninety percent of it was he couldn't feel Gon's presence. This was gone unnoticed by Kurapika,

"Is something wrong, Killua?"

"I can't feel Gon." The ex-assassin said.

"Maybe he was sleeping," Leorio said. "You know how our aura's get balanced once we sleep deeply and it's like entering Zetsu."

"So you've been learning." Kurapika mocked the doctor.

Leorio seethed.

But Killua paid no heed to it and instead, he just walked forward to the familiar house that he missed. He wondered if Gon was inside or if Gon had already sensed him several miles away and had concealed his presence. If the latter situation happened, he was sure he's going to lock Gon's head hard.

The door opened though, revealing a very tired looking Mito-san.

Killua immediately walked towards Mito-san and greeted her with a smile, "Mito-san! Can you still remember me?"

Mito looked at Killua who somewhat matured over the years but still retaining those babyish features. She smiled a little and greeted back. "Hello, Killua-kun. It's been a while since I have seen you. What are you doing here?"

"We came to see Gon!" He exclaimed and ushered the two other hunters forward. "This is Leorio and Kurapika. They have been with us when we are taking the Hunter Exam."

Mito looked at the two taller boys and regarded them solemnly. She smiled and opened the door for them. "Where are my manners." She told herself and chuckled lightly. "Come on in. I'm sure Gon will be happy to see you."

They excused themselves for the sudden visit and felt happy that they were able to step into Gon's haven, but Killua couldn't shake the dreading feeling he felt since they stepped on land. Leorio and Kurapika on the other hand felt they have been drawn closer to Gon, having known where the agile Hunter lived. It was quite refreshing – this house – since it drew them away from the reality that they were actually into.

"The house is very Gon-like." Kurapika commented as he took a sit on the couch with Leorio and Killua. "It was humble and easy to get accustomed with, just like Gon."

Mito smiled and prepared food for them, saying, "Thank you very much and I must agree. Gon is a special kid in his own way. He might have bad sides too, but his goodness topples everything."

"That's why I love him." Killua muttered, earning him a small jab at his right side from Leorio who whispered, "Oi, mind your manners. Mito-san must have-," He was beaten by the lady though.

"Oh, I know, Leorio-san." Mito said, chuckling a little. This of course surprised Killua.

"H-How did you know?"

"It's evident in your actions, especially in Gon's." She said as she wiped her hands to her apron. "Gon's naïve, but his actions speaks thousands of truths especially to the person he likes. The only thing was someone needed to make him realize that." Then she guided them to the table. "Make yourselves at home."

The three friends indeed made themselves home and ate Mito's cooking. Killua had boasted food stories to Kurapika and Leorio when he first visited this household and the two were delighted and somehow, dejected since they weren't able to visit before. But it didn't matter anymore since they're here, and they get to see who Gon was when he was in his territory.

Speaking of which…

"Where's Gon?" Killua asked as he stuffed a chicken leg on his mouth.

Mito froze by the kitchen sink.

The day seemed to freeze when the room was opened. There were scattered papers where there were drawings like of a child, a mix of used and unused clothes on the floor and other materials such as books and pillows. But what set Killua off to tears was the sight of bloodied cotton balls and tissues near the bed, and when all of them went to take a better look, they thought that they were transported somewhere else.

Specifically the land of the dead.

"G-Gon…?" Killua muttered as he neared. He was not expecting anything like this. "W-What…happened to you?"

On the bed was Gon. His hair was still spiky but it already accumulated grime from the excess oil that his scalp produced and the dirt that flew inside his room. He seemed to have grown, but Leorio deduced that Killua could have been taller than him now. Kurapika had noticed the underweight physicality of his friend and worse, when he tried to touch Gon, it's as if the frail body instinctively shied away from him. On the other side, Leorio had noticed some other things,

"Mito-san," he started carefully and lifted Gon's arm, "Had this bandage been here for long?"

Mito was pursing her lips, denying any conversation and trying her best not to spill tears, but as she saw the concerned and confused gazes of her nephew's friends, she decided to tell the truth.

"Gon was…Gon was not the same as you know him before." She said.

Kurapika's eyes became red in an instant, not because of anger but because of sheer confusion. "We don't understand. Did something happen-,"

"He lost his mind." Mito said sadly. "After he was transported back here by Ging, he became hysterical. He broke down. I don't know what to do so I called the Hunter Association Headquarters to assist me." She explained and slid on the floor, tired both physically and emotionally. "It turned out that from his recent adventures, and his loss of control, he was eaten by guilt and confusion until he started cutting himself."

Then she looked at Killua with such remorseful expression and said, "I'm sorry, Killua, if Gon has hurt you. And I knew that because of the Hunter Association. They told me what happened and so did Ging."

Killua looked shaken but he still asked, "W-When did this happen?"

"During when you were in comatose. I knew that because of the association." Mito said. "He lost his mind, but…" she walked to Gon's desk and opened the drawer, revealing a childish drawing of Killua and Gon. She gave it to Killua. "Gon said to give this to you. He knew what had happened. He got injured when he lost control of his powers, but not as grave as what you experienced. He kept telling me that he killed his best friend, but he still believed that you two will see each other. I keep telling him that you're alive but he doesn't listen, until he broke." And with that she cried.

The three hunters are so flabbergasted that they weren't able to speak anything, especially Killua. He never thought Gon would end up like this. If I didn't just interfered…if I didn't just hold him and say harsh words to him…but…if I don't, he'll die…I don't…Killua thought. He faced Gon whose usually bright amber eyes were now encased in darkness. Gon was just staring far away, and he thought unwillingly that maybe…just maybe…his best friend was just withering away.

Kurapika admired Gon and even though he had noticed his selfish behavior, he acknowledged him because he did for the sake of others. But this time, he felt anger – because he realized Gon was stupid and actually selfless – and regret – for not being there with him.

Leorio was there when Gon was injured. He was supplied of what happened and that Killua was able to restrain some of Gon's monstrous nen. Yes, they did win the war, but Gon had almost lost Killua that day. But since he was assigned to be the doctor-in-charge for Gon, he was not able to look after Killua until later on when the silver-haired ex-assassin was declared comatose. However, despite the efforts of healing Gon, he miscalculated the health of his mentally, and he was silently berating himself for not taking action of being his friend. He was not able to save his friend at all, because now, he completely lost Gon.

"Gon says sorry." Mito continued as she cried. "But I told him one day his friends will visit him and I am happy that you three are here for him. I hope, just I hope, he'll recover from this…"

Because I don't know how long he will last to this world.

A/N: And there you have it folks. I'll leave this story like this, hahaha. One shots are nice, especially if it bogs the minds of my readers. I'm planning to make a sequel for this though so pitch in your ideas of how they will make Gon better and you might get a spot in my sequel~

Thanks for reading! Be sure to review, 'kay? :D

Ellarie