So this is my Camp Rock song-fic. I hope you like it. :)
'Today' by Gary Allan
I don't own the song, and I DEFINITELY do not own Camp Rock.
Today, he told her that he loved her,
Put a ring around her finger—
I stared at her in that cream colored dress— not white; she always said white was too much of a statement. I laughed at her quirky beliefs; the thoughts that made me fall in love with her more every day.
My eyes followed the golden band that made its way onto her ring finger, and I trailed up her neck to her face that was freed from the veil that covered it before. Instead of her signature hundred-watt, teeth baring-grin, she had a small, closed-mouth smile grace her features.
I knew for a fact that that was her true smile. Her fearless, confident, and comfortable smile that was rarely ever shown to the public eye; I saw it many times.
I had a flashback at that moment, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Shane!" Mitchie squealed as I spun her around effortlessly.
I was home from touring for a month, and every waking moment of said time was set aside for her and her only. I wanted my Mitchie with me at all times, and of course she didn't complain.
I glanced up at her form that I was swinging around. Her mouth was open with laughter, and her eyes were closed; the sun was directly behind her and its rays were creating an angelic halo around her whole body. I laughed breathlessly and put her down. That was the moment I witnessed her true smile, not her mega-watt smile that showed almost every tooth in her beautiful mouth. No, this was better.
Her lips curved up so slightly, but her mouth didn't open. She tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear and looked up at me happily. Her eyes were the brightest I've ever seen them, and I felt so dull against them.
That was the first time I ever saw the real smile of Mitchie Torres, and from that day on I tried my hardest to make it appear every day.
That was the greatest memory I ever had with Mitchie. She never understood how much she made me feel, how much she changed who I am, and who I was. Those were the times where I felt truly connected with her, and that I was learning more about her each day.
The months that we were together turned into years, three years to be exact, and it was the happiest I've ever been. I was horrible at explaining my feelings, emotionally constipated if you will, and Mitchie knew that; she never pressured me to say anything that distressed me. I only said 'I Love You' a couple of times because I felt that it was a phrase that was used too freely. I didn't want to say it if I didn't mean it, but that didn't mean I didn't feel it every time I laid eyes on her.
The preacher was still going through the vows and I sighed when I looked at her; she was the most beautiful person in the world, and I loved her with every fiber of my being, every piece of my ice-coated heart. When I looked at her it was enough for the memories to come flooding back.
"Shane Gray you are a heartless bastard!" Mitchie cried. She was never that volatile towards me, ever.
"Mitch—"I began but she put her hand up.
"No Shane, I don't want any more excuses." She said sadly, all of her anger seemed to disappear at that moment and it scared me.
"I feel like we're going backwards Shane," she told me and I felt my brows furrow. She laughed at me lightly, but it was distressed.
"I mean you're going backwards, your whole attitude has gone south and I've tried so hard to find a reason why, but I can't." she continued as the tears started to flow again; it killed me to see her cry, to know that I made her cry.
"I know that you don't tell me you love me a lot because you show it, but you haven't even been doing that lately either." She looked into my eyes and I shook my head, obviously disagreeing but she closed her eyes and shook her own.
"I feel like I'm causing this attitude Shane, and it makes me angry with myself that I'm making you unhappy." She told me and my eyes practically bugged out of my head.
She didn't make me unhappy; she's the one who kept me from plummeting off of the edge. I couldn't tell her that Connect 3's record label was pissed because I planned on proposing to her and they thought that it was a bad idea because almost half of the female fans would be lost. Apparently they're under the impression I'm going to marry them all; they're sadly mistaken.
I couldn't tell her that. She would definitely take it to heart and end our whole relationship just because she would think it would be better for my career; she always thought of me before herself and it worried me to no end.
I loved her. I loved her more than I loved myself and believe me, that's a feat all in its own, but I can't let the band suffer because of this.
If I married Mitchie, Nate and Jason would go down in flames, we're 'Connect 3' if the lead singer goes, most of the time, so does the rest of the band, and I can't let that happen; they're my brothers.
But most of all I'm worried of what my 'fans' will do to Mitchie. Some of these girls are merciless and will do anything they can to get close to Nate, Jason or I, and I mean anything.
I'm being a selfish bastard I know. Dating her was enough of a stretch because so many people were against us. I can't believe we made it all these years. She's my best friend and I love her, but I never knew how long it would last. I know how wrong it is to tell someone you love them and not be sure how long you'll be together, but I couldn't help it; I did love her, and I had to let her go.
"You're right Mitchie." I said quietly. My producer had wanted me to do this for months, and now he's finally getting what he wants.
"What?" she looked at me confused.
"You are making me unhappy." I told her simply and I watched her shudder. I did all I could not to drop down on my knees and grovel at her feet, begging for forgiveness.
"I thought so." She said bitterly and looked away from me.
"I think we both know this was a mistake, Mitchie." I told her quietly, and when she turned back to me her eyes were filled with fury. I cringed slightly as she closed the gap between us with a swift slap to my face. Mitchie had never slapped me. I held the side of my face in shock, not pain. I glanced into her eyes and all I saw was disappointment. I looked away ashamed and she just shook her head.
"Shane Grey I never thought I'd say this, but you are a the most selfish person I've ever met." She told me truthfully and I shrunk back; she wasn't even crying.
"Mitchie I—" I tried to say something, anything, but whatever came to mind wasn't enough; I knew the damage was too far gone to fix and I hung my head in shame.
"Goodbye Mitchie." Was all I could say, she nodded and swiftly walked out the door, closing it softly behind her.
I fucked up. There's not much more I can say. I broke the one person I vowed not to break, and all because of a career Nate and Jason would've easily given up if it involved keeping Mitchie.
Five years later and my love for her was still strong. Every day after she left I prayed that she'd come walking through the door, and I'd beg for her forgiveness which she would give me, but it never happened. My pride was far too strong for me to actually go to her.
Connect 3 became as famous as ever after that; I wasn't happy. One summer tour and Nate and Jason decided they were done. They hated seeing me so soulless when I sang. I didn't have the heart to argue with them because a huge part of me knew they were right; I was nothing since Mitchie left.
So there I was, staring at the most beautiful girl in the world. It was the happiest day of her life, and I could see that by the small, closed-mouth smile that gracefully occupied her face.
As I sat in the church pew with Nate and Jason I couldn't help but feel bitter. This was my fault, it was my fault that she wasn't marrying me, it was my fault that her heart was shattered into a million pieces, but it was my fault that she was with a man who put her first, a man who gave her everything she needed and more.
For the first time since she left I cried. I cried right there in front of her; in front of my brothers, her mother, her father, and the whole church, in front of God. My pride didn't matter anymore; I'd lost everything I'd ever wanted.
–and promised her forever together.