Chapter 1: Mind your Manors
In the Clover Family Manor, off in a deep part of Relius' basement, where the aforementioned Colonel Relius and his partner in crime Captain Hazama are working on their newest crime against nature in the name of Team Douchebag. Their newest hair-brained scheme involves creating a hybrid beast of unholy proportions. They soon finished creating the beast, but as it awakened it turned against them, making them run away like a pair of little girls leaving behind a trail of screams, and tears. They managed to escape the beast with their lives, but found that they left their most valuable box behind in the manor but dare not attempt to brave the journey itself in fear of the beast.
Hazama looked onto his purple cloaked compatriot with a concerned look. "So what do we do now?" asked the green haired Hazama.
The blonde haired colonel held silence for a brief period of time. He thought of all the best options that were at hand. 'Do we go in ourselves?' No to risky, they had to much to live for, and their valuables while... valuable was not enough to risk them or more particularly himself. 'Ask Kokonoe?' No, she wouldn't help. Not after he poured marmite all over her favorite candy. He went over his options of people who would at least give a small effort to help them before realizing who the only two who would help them be. Giving an irritated sigh he looked at his Michael Jackson look-a-like subordinate to give him their answer.
With a aggravated look he replied. "We have no choice on the matter, we're going to have to call those two." He brought out his phone and made al call. "Hello? Is this the Super Reaper Bros. Corp.?"
After a faint noise from the phone the Colonel spoke again. " Yes it's Relius... Yes it's actually me... I need your help in retrieving a box my basement that's guarded by my newest creation...What do you mean no?...'Not gonna...' please be reasona-...How much? No one would pay that much for... I mean yes it's guarded by a monster I created but... Well it's (the description of the creature here )... Please it's not that bad... OK maybe it is but for that amount... OK I'll pay your exorbitant price... Yes pleasure doing business with you too." Relius hangs up the phone, and now they wait for the men to handle their problem.
Several Hours Later
Team Douchebag waited on the outskirts of the manor till their handy men arrived. Two men approached them. The first of the two men to approach was a tall man with spiky white hair heterochromic eyes where the right one was red and the left green, a red coat, carrying a large sword on his back, and held a look of constant irritation that suggested that he didn't get to eat his Wheaties this morning or for the last three weeks. His name was Ragna the Bloodedge, the Grim Reaper. He was followed by a equally tall man that resembled Hazama except for his coat that was replaced with a yellow hooded cape that had sleeves that reached just a bit above the elbows and black patterns on it, black ribbons that wrapped around the arms, his shirt unbuttoned to reveal his man cleavage and his tie undone, he held a constant shit eating grin with his yellow snake-like eyes gleaming under the hood. This man was Yuki Terumi, the Nightmare Reaper. The latter approached the Relius and Hazama to review the mission.
"Sooo... me and Rags here have to go down into your scary ass basement to grab a box of whatever the hell it is while trying to avoid a horrifying monster that made pansies out of you two? Is that right Relius?" Terumi asked and with each word got further into Relius' face.
"That is correct Terumi. Now here is half the pay now, and you'll receive the other half when you bring back the box. Also, if you could kindly get out of my face or I'll have to get a bit violent." Relius replied sternly and handing out the money.
"OK, OK will do, no need to get so testy Colonel." Terumi replied back in a nonchalant manner. He turned to his partner. "Ok Ragna you heard the man, lets get going."
The Grim Reaper approached the two and walked away with Terumi toward the manor. Stereo-typically enough as they were walking toward the manor lightning danced through the night sky followed by claps of thunder. After the two reached the manor Ragna turned toward his partner with a inquisitive look.
"Terumi, what's in the box again?" He asked, whether to simply prolong the inevitable or out of curiosity.
"Don't think they mentioned it. But in the long run don't know, don't care. Let's just get this over with to fill the jar up." Terumi answered.
To make a long story short the two were enemies at one point but due to the shenanigans the other pulled on each other they are now in a predicament where they both owe a quite hefty amount of money and are now doing jobs in order to pay that debt. Back to the story.
Ragna opened the manor door and the two proceeded to walk right in. They were surprised to see that the lights weren't out as fit to horror scenario cliches. But were introduced to the sight of the interior decorations strewn about and mangled, the stair case rails smashed, and a couch impaling the large portrait of Relius Clover. The only thing that was left untouched in the main hall was the chandelier in the center that was far above the ground, and a toaster just lying in the middle. They maneuvered their way pass the disheveled interior to make their way to the basement. Along the way strange moans could be heard followed be the sound of something scratching the walls or floor. The two finally found their way to the basement. It was as what one expect from Relius Clover's lab. All sorts of science doodads around, mutilated bodies hanging from hooks, and strange misshapen humanoid beings inside test tubes ranging from small to large. They looked around the room to find the objective was to be found on a table right next to a one of the previous experiments. The two approached the box carefully making sure not to cause any commotion to that may attract the creature.
As the two made their way to the box, Terumi banged his foot and yelled, only to clasp his mouth shut before realizing his error. The two held the silence for a moment before hearing a scrapping sound and the sound of something scuttling their way.
The two ran to the box and Ragna grabbed it and placed it under his arm then they proceeded to run like hell. Unfortunately for the two of them they didn't make it far and were intercepted by the creature, finally getting to see the creature. It's leg were like a chicken crossed with a moose and spread out like a crab, it's torso like a was a chicken and a goat its coat removed, it's arms like a praying mantis with human hands with bird-like claws at the end of it's fingers, and it's face was like if Gary Bussey had horrible plastic surgery. The two of them stared at it, both terrified at the horror that lay before them.
"Okay at my cue we run like hell away from the newest cause of my night terrors. Okay" Terumi spoke under to Ragna. Ragna gave a quick glance and nodded.
"Okay on three, one...two...three!" The both of them proceeded to runaway screaming like little girls, and the creature followed them running in a Xenomorph-esque way. The creature closed in on them only for Ragna to spin around to kick it in the face to both stun it for a sec and give him a jump to more distance away from them.
"OK Ragna you stay behind and fight the thing while I run deliver the smelly box and get to safety, sound good?" Terumi asked and held his left arm out to take the while making a thumbs up sign with his right hand.
"What? NO!? What the Hell!? What makes you think I'm gonna stay behind and fight the thing while you get the money and go home!? Your 'The Nighmare Reaper' and that thing is nightmarish, you go fight it!" Ragna yelled back, flipping off Terumi with his left hand while running.
But before Terumi could quip back a large crash came from behind them. Followed by the sound of scraping, scuttling, and a laughter that sounded like Gilbert Gottfried. The two did not look back to see what they knew was behind them. They simply ran. Eventually the noises from behind disappeared they wanted to check but didn't. Eventually they managed to make it to the main hall but found that the creature standing the hall, blocking the exit. There seemed to be no hope for them now but Terumi looked up and saw their ticket out. He explained his plan to Ragna and then went to execute it. Ragna ran to the creature with Terumi following behind and the creature charging at them in return. Terumi raised his arm toward the chandelier as he began to summon his Nox Nyctores.
"OUROBOROS!" Teurmi cried out as a hole in space opened before his hand surrounded by three runic rings in a triangular position. From the hole a serpent headed chain fired from it and clasped onto the chandelier dragging Terumi into the air.
Ragna continued to charge at the creature at breakneck speed with the creature charging in equal speed. The creature then proceeded to pounce to him right about as they reached the middle of the room, but then Ragna threw the box into the air. The creature took his eyes off him only to see Terumi as he was going up, grab the box and swing his way toward the exit. During that time the aberration looked away, Ragna pulled his sword off his side and proceeded to slash the beast as he ran past it with the creature collapsing face first to the ground. And as for safe measure, as Terumi made it to the ground he fired the Ouroboros again to cut the chain holding the chandelier and a part of the ceiling to have it crash right on the fallen mutant. Thus making pretty sure that they killed the monster.
"Well that was pretty easy, thought the thing wasn't gonna go down like a complete BITCH!" Terumi roared, assured their victory was sealed. "Oh come on really? Is that all you got? Your nothing more than another of that perv's leftover garbage ain't that right!?"
"Leave it to you to trash talk with the recently deceased. What are little girls too much for you now that you have to pick fights with a corpse?" Ragna lets out a sigh. "Man are you losing your edge?"
"What's this? Me, losing my edge? Nah, can't be. But just to make sure I'm gonna beat up the first little girl I find." Terumi proceeded to look around hand above brow scoping the area, but stopped and then turned to Ragna. "Aww, it seems I can't find any little girls here. Looks like I'll have to make do and beat up A LITTLE PUSSY ASS BITCH!"
"Oh you think you can take me? Who was screaming like a little girl down the hall way again? Oh that's right! YOU!" Ragna yelled back.
"And you were all like 'Ah save me Terumi save me! I'm too big of a little bitch to actually grow a pair to fight the scary monster and be a all-around bro like you are!' You looked like you were about to piss yourself at any moment." Terumi sneered
"From the rank smell in the air it smells like you did piss yourself. What? Your so broke that you can't afford diapers now every time you have an accident." Ragna retorted back.
Terumi was about to continue their cock fight but then a noise came from the center of the room. Debris fell from the side of the mess but if it was a result of a piece of the debris falling onto the mess or something was stirring under it was unknown currently. The two just gaze at the mess like deer in a headlight.
"Hey Ragna let's go. I mean we want to deliver it back as fast as possible right?" Terumi said with an even voice and eyes not taking off the mess.
"Yeah, yeah, let's go. We need to be as professional as can be." Ragna walked to the exit. "Come on Terumi let's go!"
Terumi just nodded, and slowly made his way into a run and followed his red coated compatriot to deliver the goods. Neither of them looked back, they merely ran trying to not screaming like little girls as they made their way back to Relius and Hazama. Eventually they made their way back to the dastardly duo.
"Do you have the goods, Yuuki Terumi and Ragna the Bloodedge?" Relius asked the duo. Terumi pulled the box from under his arm and shoved into Relius.
"Yeah we have your smelly box of nightmares, and your abomination dead, now where is the rest of the money?"
Relius pulled out a small suitcase of money and handed it to Ragna. He proceeded to open it and count the amount. He turned towards his partner and said it's all good. Terumi then turned to face Relius.
"It was a pleasure doing business with you Colonel." Terumi said with faux-courtesy, and the last word slurred. The two then proceeded to make their way to back to the darkness where they came from.
Team Douchebag made their way back to the manor. and made their way into the main hall. They gazed at the mess that was made in the manor. They saw all the decorative items smashed, the couch that was impaling Relius' portrait, the broken staircase railway, and amazingly the chandelier hanging from the ceiling broken off and left smashed against the wall. The two were had no reason to keep this manor anymore they had several more base of operations elsewhere. The two pulled out their Ars and burned the building down. The two satisfied in knowing the creature dead and their goods in their hands left. Then they left, only followed by the smoke and the wind that blows it, and the faint sound of scurrying.
Authors Note: Hello to anybody that reads this, and thank you for reading my poor attempt at horror and humor. And yes I know that "Nightmare Reaper" is Terumi's Overdrive and not a title of his but I needed something for a catchy name and thought "Oh the both have 'Reaper' somewhere in there why not have the title being like 'The Two Reaper Adventures' or something like that. I know a bit repetitive but again thanks.