Hi everybody! Here's the first chapter of a story I've had brewing in my head for some time. If all goes well, many more chapters will follow. ~_^

SSX Tricky and its characters are the property of EA games.

Have fun!! ^_^

PsYkeD

Chapter 1: Another Day, Another Practical Joke

T'ai-yueh-ta-ti, a quaint Chinese settlement located deep within the Pa-yen-k'a-a-la mountains. A sleepy picturesque village being enveloped by a gentle snowfall. The postcard-perfect local where the SSX Tricky gang could take a brief opportunity to relax before the upcoming race.

"Booga-wooga-HA!"

"IIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!"

"Hey! What the...oof!" Zoe was startled awake by the high-pitched scream. She had just fallen asleep watching an old Chinese kung-fu movie when the sudden loud noise sent her rolling off the bed.

"Geez, Kaori. You tryin' to give me a heart attack or something?"

"THAT JERK!!"

"Here we go again," Zoe thought as she listened to a long string of rather colorful-sounding phrases. The plucky snowboarder didn't need to know Japanese to figure out what had happened. Turning toward her roommate, Zoe asked, "So what stunt did Psymon pull this time?"

"WHY WON'T THAT BAKA STOP PICKING ON ME!!" The angry teenager ignored Zoe's question and continued stomping around the hotel room, swearing in Japanese.

Zoe tried reasoning with the teen. "Come on Kaori, it wasn't that bad was it?"

"STUPID JERK!!"

"You know, it helps to talk these problems out with your friends." Considering how corny she just sounded, Zoe put her head in her hands and groaned, "I can't believe I said that."

"PERVERT!! BAKA!! CREEP!!" Kaori continued to vent her frustration, oblivious to Zoe's comments.

Elise yelled from the bathroom, "Just do it, Zoe, or she'll be like this all night long!"

"Yeah, whatever...might as well get this over with," Zoe grumbled as she pulled out a pair of earplugs from her pocket and placed them in her ears. She then went over to a nearby table and picked up a huge megaphone. A little tag, labeled "Kaori Calmer," hung from the heavy device. Comical as it may have seemed, the megaphone had proven to be the only way of bringing the Japanese teen out of her periodic tantrums. With sound amplifier in both hands, Zoe walked toward the irate youth and yelled, "HELLOOOO!!!!!!!!! EARTH TO KAORI!!!!!!!!!" Having a volume rivaling a good-sized airline turbo engine, the megaphone had the desired effect of stopping the Kaori's rant. Peeling herself off the opposite wall, the now fizzy-haired teenager sheepishly asked, "Umm...were you saying something, Zoe?"

The punk boarder rolled her eyes. "Oh no, not at all. I was just having a conversation with myself." She glared at the girl. "OF COURSE I WAS TALKING TO YOU!!"

Bowing her head in embarrassment, the Japanese youth scuffed her shoe along the carpet and whispered, "Gomen nasai."

Seeing her apologetic roommate, Zoe calmed down and asked, "So was it lizards this time?"

"No."

"Anything to do with slime, jello, or pudding?"

"No."

"Did Psymon tamper with your bath stuff again?" That joke had been rather inventive. Somehow, the crazy Canadian managed to switch Kaori's shampoo with some liquid that caused her hair to become spiky like Psymon's. Zoe struggled to keep from snickering as she remembered that particular incident.

"Umm...no."

Elise, wrapped in a towel and curious about the ruckus, demanded from the bathroom doorway, "Well, what was it?"

Realizing neither of her roommates would drop the subject, Kaori simply sighed and trudged toward the small hotel room closet. Picking up a hastily dropped overturned duffel, she presented the contents to the others. "Here, just look in my bag." Noticing a muffled sound coming from inside the bag, both Zoe and Elise peered down to see what had caused Kaori to be so spooked.

"Poing!" A miniature Psymon, complete with glowing red eyes, popped out of the bag. Sporting tattoos, piercings, and spiked hair, the doll's likeness to the actual Psymon was quite remarkable. As the super-deformed fellow happily bounced up and down on a spring, it kept playing a recording of Psymon's voice saying, "Booga-wooga-HA!"

For a moment everyone was silent. Then both Zoe and Elise started snickering before Elise burst into full-blown laughter. "AHA, HA, HA, HA!! That's what scared you Kaori? BWAAH, HAA, HAA, HAAAA!!!"

Kaori, however, was not amused. "Hey! That's not funny!"

"SURE IT IS!!" Zoe and Elise both yelled as they tried to keep from rolling on the floor in mirth.

The Japanese teenager became defensive. "But it's not fair! I haven't done anything to him!"

Zoe, recovering from her bout of laughter, tried to cheer up her distressed roommate. "Don't sweat it, Kay. That's just Psymon being Psymon. He's probably played tricks on all of us by now."

Kaori glanced at her fellow boarder skeptically. "Really?"

Brushing off the teen's suspicion, the punk girl nonchalantly replied, "Sure. There was..." Caught off guard, Zoe tried to recall if there actually WAS anyone else who Psymon had played a joke upon. "Well...there's 'Tattoo-boy'."

In response, Kaori narrowed her gaze while Elise merely raised one eyebrow.

Seeing her roommates' reaction, Zoe muttered, "Er...forget I said that." Thinking some more, she triumphantly snapped her fingers as she remembered, "Hey, how about Rahzel? Psymon pulled stunts on him all the time. 'Course," Zoe continued, "ol' Rahzzy did tell him to quit."

Elise helpfully jumped in, "I believe his exact words were, 'Play another joke on me, Stark, and I'll personally boot your @$%&^@(*!# butt off the tour for good!' " Everyone remembered how angry the SSX Tricky manager had been after a particularly memorable prank involving rubber cement, bed sheets, and a lovingly preserved 15 kg muskie.

Kaori eagerly nodded. "Uh huh. Psymon stopped too!"

"Yeah, but only after sulking and subjecting everyone to ridiculously loud Napalm Death music all week long." Still, Zoe had to admit, what the teenager said was true. "So, why don't you just tell Psymon to knock it off?"

"I do! But he still keeps playing tricks on me!"

"Hmmph…Maybe that's because he knows you tend to overreact." Zoe thought a moment, then added, "Well, either that or he just has something against all things unbearably cute."

"You...you really think so?" Kaori looked ready to cry.

Elise arched her eyebrow even more. "Nice counseling technique you got there, Zoe."

The punk boarder shrugged. "Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em." Zoe wasn't much for subtlety.

Shaking her head at Zoe's remarks, Elise tried her hand at comforting the distraught teen. "Look, don't worry Kaori. If you ignore Sketchy, I'm sure he'll back off sooner or later." Flicking the Psymon miniature with her index figure, the Canadian bombshell smirked. "Besides, it's not like he hasn't done worse."

Zoe chuckled. "Heck, maybe you'll even get a chance at payback during tomorrow's race."

Encouraged by her friends' support, Kaori gave a small smile. "Arigatou."

Zoe stretched and started getting prepared for bed. "Much as I've enjoyed this girl bonding session, I've got to get some shut-eye." Pausing a moment, she turned toward Kaori and asked, "Say, Kay, do you mind if I keep the Psymon doll?"

Kaori could only blink as she took a moment to register Zoe's question. "Why would anyone want this hideous thing?"

Elise's thoughts echoed Kaori's. "Why do you want that thing? I didn't think you were the type to collect dolls."

Nonplussed, Zoe shrugged and replied, "No particular reason. I just thought it was cool, that's all."

For her part, Kaori simply handed the doll over to Zoe. Personally, she didn't care what happened to the abomination, as long as it didn't have to be near her.

The Canadian snowboarder slyly smiled. "Now all you need is one of Moby. Then you'll have a matched set." Kaori giggled.

Zoe did her best to ignore Elise's implications. Without missing a beat, she countered, "Don't you have to prepare for a rivalry or something?"

Taking the hint, a snickering Elise ducked back into the bathroom. "You're right. I'd better get ready for tomorrow. After all, got to look my best if I'm going to beat a certain wannabe diva." A nasty laugh echoed out from the within the bathroom. Zoe and Kaori shared a glance.

"You know, I worry about her sometimes."

"Hai."

"I HEARD THAT!!"

Both Zoe and Kaori giggled at Elise's response. Yawning, Zoe placed the mini Psymon on a nearby dresser. The little figure continued to bounce cheerfully and shout, "Booga-wooga-HA!"

Kaori eyed the doll. "Do you have to put that here?"

Her roommate gave a slightly exasperated sigh. "Geez, it's not like it's doing anything, Kay."

"But..."

Walking over to the doll, Zoe flipped a small switch, silencing it. Glancing at the teenager, she asked, "That better?"

Kaori was still unsure. "Umm, I guess...but..."

Waving off any further objections, Zoe went toward one of the beds and said, "You worry too much, kiddo. Good night."

The Japanese teenager gave a weak smile. "Thanks. You too."

Later that night, Kaori was lying awake in her bed. She kept thinking about Zoe's earlier comments. "Am I unbearably cute? Do I really want to NOT be cute?" An image of Luther suddenly flashed through her mind, causing Kaori to shudder. The teen quickly discarded that train of thought. "Do I really overreact to Psymon's jokes?" Remembering previous occurrences, Kaori reluctantly concluded that they had indeed ended similarly to tonight's incident. Psymon would pull a prank, she would scream, swear in Japanese, and then stalk around fuming at the indignity of it all before someone would use the 'Kaori Calmer'. "Wouldn't anyone react that way?" She sighed. "I guess not. Nobody else has a megaphone named after them." Still, it galled her that Psymon had singled her out for some particular reason. "I know he's kind of strange." Kaori paused...and reconsidered. "O.K. Maybe he's a little crazy, but I haven't tried to be intentionally mean to him." On the contrary, the Japanese youth went out of her way to get along with as many of her fellow snowboarders as possible. Anything else would have been dishonorable, not to mention, a lot less fun. She considered Elise's advice to ignore Psymon. Surely, in the past, Kaori had managed to avoid unwanted attention from overly persistent fans of her 'Orange Explosion Fun Girl' show. "Umm...except for the time when I whipped out that prop mallet." The teenager cringed, remembering the pounding she gave one particularly obnoxious stalker. Glancing around the room, Kaori noticed the glowing eyes of the Psymon doll staring back at her. "A lot of good you are. I still think you're creepy." The teenager pouted a little, considering her options.

An evil thought suddenly popped into Kaori's mind. "Hmm…what if I played a prank on Psymon?" A wicked twinkle gleamed in her eye. "Then HE would know what it feels like to be picked on." Listening, the Japanese teen could hear Elise talking in her sleep. The dozing Canadian was murmuring phrases like, "Please Eddie, no more disco...Take that, you wannabe...No Luther, don't know where your teddy..." Kaori was also aware of Zoe lightly snoring over in the adjacent bed. The youth wondered how her friends would feel about her little scheme. "Both Zoe and Elise were pretty supportive earlier. I think they would probably approve." Satisfied with her planned course of action, Kaori fell asleep, smiling gently…

…blissfully unaware of the wacky consequences that would follow.