Rose: Who the heck is Martha Jones?

I was here first

And I bet a million pounds

That the Doctor likes me better

Martha: Pshaw, who the heck is Rose Tyler?
Well of course, duh, she's buh-londe!
I'm sick and tired of being number 2

For a change, I should be number 1!

Rose: I was here first

I'm wittier

And cleverer

And I bet the Doctor

Never said she was brilliant…

Martha: So what? First the worst!

Rose: And of course, I'm prettier!

Martha: I'm just as beautiful

As she is

And last time I checked

The Doctor appreciated brains

Not, Barbies

Rose: Fine, I'll see what the Doctor says

Martha: If I ask

He'll change the subject

What makes Rose Tyler, a.k.a., Blonde Chav

So special?

Rose: I bet the Doctor

Closes his thoughts to her

Unlike moi'

Martha: But psh, I read

His journal, about

The letter from Madame de Pompadour

Bet she wasn't #1, then!

Rose: Madame de Pompadour? She was a lying,

Air-headed, no-good—

Martha: Ooh, I bet there was some rivalry there!

Poor wannabe-Barbie

Apparently had a jealous streak a mile wide!

Rose: I bet Jack didn't fancy her!
Why he—

Martha: Jack Harkness?

Yeah, he fancied me that womanizer

Bet Rose knows him

But I bet she doesn't know—

Rose: Took me to the top of his ship

Champagne and romantic music—

Martha: That he's the Face of Boe

Rose: And before that, he complimented my butt!

Martha: Bet she never met anyone,

Nor a Time Lord

From the Doctor's mysterious past!

Rose: Sarah Jane Smith

Ex-companion of the Doctor

I admit it, I was a tad jealous—

Martha: Ha! Bet if she met a woman,

She'd kill poor Doctor for it!

Rose: Crazy lady from the Dark Ages…

Martha: He'd love me

If I wasn't

In Rose's shadow

Rose: He'll come for me

He'll come back

Martha: He just completely ignores me—

Rose: If not, I'll find him

Oh yeah, I bet you I will.

Martha: I try, and try, and try…

Rose: We'll run into each other's arms

Cry full of relief

He'll kiss me and finish his last sentence

"Rose Tyler…"

Martha: But nothing works!
I can't wake up every morning,

Knowing I'm a failure

Can't he just say--

Rose: Three words

Simple words

Martha: Just three

Rose/Martha: "I love you"

Martha: If only…