No, no not this!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters or places.
James was sitting in between Peter and Sirius, who were whining about completely random stuff, Remus sat behind them and kept rolling his eyes every time they changed the subject, which led to more bickering. James sat there staring at Lily, of course, like always. Lily just ignored the eyes that bored into her back.
"Oi, James, hello," Sirius's voice shook James back from his reverie, "as I was saying for the 80th time, we should put on a prank, any suggestions?"
James was almost lost staring at lily again when and idea of a prank came in mind. "You know how Snape has been seeing that girl?" he asked, being rewarded with confused nods, "well it would be so funny if we got that potion that makes people change genders and then see the look on the faces of those two stupid Slytherin's when they realize that they are a different gender."
"Prongs," Sirius said, looking, well, serious, "that is bloody brilliant." He then burst into an evil smile. Remus just started hitting his head on the table. They were taking potions at this time and they started learning about potions for disguise and along that category was the potion of gender change. When first learning that they would be taught that potion Remus suspected that it wouldn't end well, his suspicions were correct.
Their potions teacher always kept freshly brewed samples in the cupboards. Later that night they would sneak in and steal the gender changing sample and when Snape and his girlfriend were talking and unaware, they would throw the capsule right between the two and when they woke up the next morning they would have already changed genders.
The Marauders sat in the common room, James with invisibility cloak at hand, and waited for the clock to strike midnight (I really don't know what is up with the midnight stuff it is such a cliché, but they are fun anyways). Finally the clock struck, Remus groaned, "How do I always get into these messes?" it was barely audible, but Sirius heard.
"Well, old chap, we, as marauders, must stick together, and stick together we shall," and with that he waved his wand and they stuck together.
"Sirius, you blockhead, why did you do that?" said James, sounding a little pissed off.
"Well as I said, we as Mara- "
"Just shut up," James nearly yelled.
"Wow, I think it's someone's time of the month." Sirius got a snicker from Peter at this remark, a glare from Remus, and a smack at the back of the head from James.
"Shut up, you ass, or someone'll hear us." They continued there trip to the dungeons. Sirius was glaring at James the whole way. They were almost there, when he finally spoke up.
"I'm not an ass." He said it rather sulkily.
"Fine, you're a mutt, now shut up." They made it to the dungeon and James quickly ran to the cupboard and carefully grabbed the right potion. They ran back to the common room all of them, with the exception of Remus, couldn't wait until the morning came. They slept peacefully that night.
The next morning they woke up, most of them were grinning with the thought of the prank that they would be pulling later that day. They would wait until before curfew, usually Snape met Cathline, as her name was, right in front of the great hall before curfew hit. It was the perfect time to strike.
They spent a lot of their class time working on it and perfecting it, they had no way of knowing that it would go terribly wrong. After all their classes they headed out to the great hall and ate a quick dinner, they decided they would stop by the kitchen on their way to the common room.
"Damn," James said, realizing a tiny flaw in their plan.
"What?" Sirius asked, a little worried.
"I forgot my damn cloak."
"Great! Now the whole plan is ruined."
"Oh, stop being a drama queen." Sirius glared at this comment, "I'll just go back to the dorm and get it."
"Well, we're going with you," Sirius said in a huff, "We don't want you do ruin anything else." With that the four of them ran to their room, James quickly went through his trunk and found what he was looking for. He grabbed the cloth, "ok, let's go."
They ran as quickly as they could out of the common room, paying no attention to the screams of the fat lady for disturbing her. They didn't want to be late. They were half way to the entrance to the Great hall when they bumped into Lily. Sirius, who was holding the potion at the time, immediately dropped it, do to the collision. A big puff of purple smoke came up, covering them with the same color dust.
"What the hell was that, Potter? And what the hell do you think you four are doing?" Lily asked coughing from the dust.
"Nothing, Evens." Sirius responded for him.
"You know that I know that this is not nothing." Lily gestured to the purple stuff covering her robe. They kept silent.
"Fine, don't answer but if I find out that it was intended to be used for a prank, which I will and it is, I'm gathering, then I will have the obligation to punish you, which I'm surprised Remus hasn't already." She left with an annoyed look on her face. They each looked at each other with worried looks on their faces, not because of Lily but because the potion went all over them.
"Maybe there wasn't enough potion to make us change," Remus looked at James skeptically.
"Oh, well we will just have to see tomorrow morning." Remus sighed, he knew that someday they would have to face the consequences of their pranks, but he never imagined that it would be from their doing.
"You are a clod, you know that don't you, Pads?"
When they finally cleaned up the mess in the hall, magically, and made it to the common room, they reassured each other that the potion wasn't going to make them change. Remus still had his doubts, but went along with it.
The next morning they woke up, to tired to think about the events before.
"Hey, Pads," wait James's voice was a little more high pitched then he remembered.
"What, Prongs?" Sirius noticed that his voice, too, was also changed.
Peter and Remus also noted the changed in Sirius and James, they flicked the lights on and paled, they were now girls. They were pulled out of there thoughts about the matter when they heard the scream, they had completely forgot about Lily the night before. They came rushing out of the dorm to see what was up the same minute that a boy came out of the girls' dorm; his face was red with anger.
"You stupid, idiotic, twisted-"apparently he couldn't think of anything else to say because he was struggling in thought.
"Lily?" James asked timidly.
"I should have known that this was a prank. You wanted to test it on Snape, didn't you?" they paled some more. "And Remus, you were going to let them do this, you are just as bad as they are, no, you are worse, a prefect letting his friends turn innocent people into different genders."
"Wait! Innocent? You think Snivellius is innocent?" the female James asked, outraged.
"Well, I've never seen him do anything to you that you didn't deserve; in fact, I think that he is way too easy on you, if he does anything at all."
James looked on at the boy, he had Lily's gorgeous red hair and her wonderful green eyes, 'Damn if I were a girl- oh wait, right' James's thoughts rambled on, he had always wondered what Lily would be like if she were of the male gender, now he gets to find out…………..there isn't much of a difference.
"Well, I guess that we will have to see Dumbledore about this?"
"Oh, right." They headed towards the headmasters office.
"Owl bogeys." James said loud and clear, Lily gave him a confused look. "I'm in here all the time." James explained. They reached the end of the stair case and knocked, the door silently opened and Dumbledore was sitting at his desk.
"What may I do the honors of at this untimely visit?" The headmaster said casually. "Oh, and would you also care for some tea?" The five rejected politely.
"Well, sir," Lily started explaining, "we had an accident with the gender changing potion and would like to go back to our original state." Wow she sure gets to the point. James was thinking again.
"Well, as much as I can understand that, I'm afraid I can't do that."
"And why not?" male Lily asked, getting aggravated at Dumbledore's unwillingness to grant their request.
"You and Mr. Potter, here," he made a gesture acknowledging them, "have had a great deal of problems since coming into this school, I have never been able to think of a proper way to handle the situation so you two could get along better, but apparently you have found the perfect thing to reach each others understandings. And Mr. Lupin, I guess you will have to think about things more clearly before running around and pulling pranks out of a hat with them (this comment made the other marauders wince), so you will stay the way you are until Miss Evens and Mr. Potter are able to get along." Remus nodded.
"And as for the other two," he continued, "I'm sure that we can reach and understanding when I say that Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin will greatly enjoy your company, so you will also remain the gender you currently are for the amount of time as the others. Am I clear?" everyone nodded. "Good now we have to come up with a good cover up. I say that the Marauders have been under temporary expulsion, excluding Mr. Lupin, whose family member has fallen ill. Miss Evens, you are on an extra curriculum trip to one of the foreign wizarding schools for a project. Miss Evens, you are now to be known as Mr. Erik Lambrige, Mr. Potter you are Miss Jamie Richards, Mr. Lupin Miss Rachel Carbons, Mr. Pettigrew Miss Amy Hanson, and Mr. Black you are Miss Sarah Rant. So I think that now we have every thing in order, except Mr. Lambrige comes from Durmstrong, and you four come from Burxbaton, am I clear?" they all nodded. "Well then you are excused." He turned back to his work making it clear that there was nothing left to discuss.
There was no way that he was going to get away with that, the marauders (well now they will have to change their title) are going to pranks him, and they will prank him good, with the aid of Lily, a.k.a, Erik.
A/N: Hope you like it, it'll get better. I'm thinking about having Sirius make out with himself. Yeah I'm still thinking of a good prank that they play on Dumbledore. Lily is only participating in the prank because she is pissed at Dumbledore. R and R. oh, and sorry about any grammar errors.