I would like all you Jareth fangirls to know that I don't hate Jareth. I refused to be flamed because of this. This is mostly for my own amusement. Anything you recognize I don't own.

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Ways to annoy the Goblin King.

I was sitting in a oubliette wit all my authoress powers drained. I sighed. I knew I shouldn't have set fire to Jareths cape.

'That would make a decent prank" I said out loud. "Hmm"I pulled out a pad of paper a inkwell and a quill.

" lets start a list shall all the glitter in the labyrinth and dump it in his room. Not very inspired.2. Paint his entire castle hot pink. We're getting somewhere now." I sucked on my quill than wrote the next 7

3.When ever he kidnaps a baby say he got the wrong address.

4.Ask him why his only threat is to throw you into the Bog of Eternal Stench. play David Bowie music. Play it really loudly. call him Ziggy.

7 Remind him that he kept flirting with a 16 year old who talks to her feet.

8.knock him out and dress him up as Jack Sparrow.

9. Set fire to his hair.

" I should have done number nine." I murmered." I know what do write next! Redecorate his throne room so it looks like a Barbie lives there! Speaking of whenever he has important people over stash lipstick and eyeshadow in obvious places around the castle. That just takes the cake." The next 8 are kinda obvious now.

12. Release fairies in his bedroom.

13.Instead of calling him Goblin King or Jareth( or whatever) Call him dude.

14. Do number 13 in a surfer dude accent.

15.Get him really drunk and put him in the middle of the Labyrinth.

16. Swap all his tights for bell bottoms.

17. Video tape him laughing maniacally. Show it to Sarah. Tape her reaction and give it to him.

18.knock him out and line his eyes in hot pink. Make him look like a crazy racoon.

19. On his birthday order him a giant cake and make Hoggle jump out of it while singing Voldemort Can't Stop the Rock. Instead of using the name Voldemort use Jareth

" I'm starting to feel very evil."

20. Turn all his oubliettes into movies theaters. Really comfy ones with candy.

21.Make fun of his clothes.

22.Make the goblins hum the Darth Vader theme when he walks by.

23. Let all the Fireys dance in his throne room.

24. Dye his hairs neon green.

25. Knock him out dress him up as Legolas and leave him in a room of crazed fangirls.

"Jareth will mourn the day he decided to put me in a oubliette. I will wreck havoc!"

Review if you want. If anyone in the Underworld has access to this show it to the Goblin king. Or try some of them. Have fun.