Love serpasses all, even if it's a secret!

by Kagome5

Inu-Yasha and Kagome love each other deeply, but the only problem is...THEY DON'T KNOW THAT THE OTHER DOES!! What will the two of them do to find their true feelings, and unleash them??

Chapter one-A fear far too deep to ignore-

~As one's heart is tucked away within the very depths of their soul, they wonder aimlessly throughout the world, searching for a purpose in which they do not have. Their deepest desires are hidden, and can sometimes become confused as they search through life. But what if that desire was brought forth in a new way, in a true way. How can love be hidden from the other's eyes? How can this secret be unleashed, and shaped into reality, not a dream? This I will find out in the very depths of my being.~

~Warring states era~

Inu-Yasha sat silently in his favorite tree overlooking the lovely night. The moon was full overhead, and nothing could be heard except for the constant chirping of crickets playing their melodies. Inu-Yasha couldn't sleep. He starred up at the sky with still eyes. His whole heart felt empty. He was alone, and it was lonely. For as long as he could remember, he had been alone, and it had never bothered him so hurtfully as it did tonight! Why? He couldn't figure out. But this horrid feeling of being alone kept getting worse. He shut his eyes tight and tried to ignore the begging thought of someone close to him. He couldn't turn to Kikyo any longer. She was no more to him. She was the past. He saw that she had no feelings for him, and he had found, that he had no such for her either. It was gone, and all he had feelings and passion for….was Kagome. He thought of her constantly, and at times felt like killing himself for all the horrid things he had done to her, and had said to her!! If only he could take it all back! He knew deep down in his soul, that she hated him, and had no love for him in return.

~Modern day Tokyo, Japan~

Kagome laid in her bed in her own time, tossing and turning through her slumber. Her eyes slowly opened, and she sat up. "Crap. I can't sleep." She whispered to herself in anger. She hated it when it was a school day in the morning, and she couldn't get even a little wink of sleep all night! She got out of her covers and walked out of her room, into her bathroom, and got herself a glass of water. She then walked downstairs, and out onto her porch. She could hear all the midnight noises of the city called Tokyo through her ears. It got annoying at times. She missed the calm and peaceful world of Feudal Japan at times like these. She looked across the shrine yard of her grandfather's, and starred at the well house, where the magical well that brings her to and from the warring states era sat inside. She hadn't gone back for at least a week! It wasn't like her to stay away that long, but she had a aching feeling in her chest that tightened every time she thought about the Feudal times. She had left because….she had seen Kikyo and Inu-Yasha together once more. This time, she had seen enough for her to guess that Inu-Yasha had chosen Kikyo over her. She sighed and held her heart as she thought of this. How it hurt. She never wanted to go back again, although she missed Sango, Miroku, and Shippo quite a bit, she didn't want to face Inu-Yasha again. She didn't want to pretend like nothing had happened. She just wanted to be left alone. But "alone" was the problem! Although she had her friends at school, and her mom and the rest of her family, it didn't matter to her. She tried to pay no attention to the throbbing desire to see Inu-Yasha, but it didn't help any. She was stuck on him. His image reflected in her eyes. In her mind. She saw flashes of him everywhere she looked. She missed him, and felt betrayed that she couldn't have him, but her cries wouldn't save her now. Inu-Yasha was gone. He didn't love her. She was sure of it.

~The warring states era~

The sun rose high in the sky the next morning. Inu-Yasha stirred and finally awoke, stretched, and leaped down from his tree. He then began to search for the others, jumping through trees, almost as if he could fly. He suddenly spotted Sango and Shippo on the ground below him and landing a few feet in front of their path. "Hey, Inu-Yasha." Shippo greeting in a plain tone as he hung himself over Sango's shoulder in despair. Inu-Yasha knew why the young fox demon was so depressed, and he hated it too, although he would never tell. "Kagome still hasn't returned from her time." Sango explained in an instant. Inu-Yasha gave a look of sorrow, then changed it to sarcasm as he turned away from them. "Feh! Who cares! It's not like I do! Let her stay in her time! It's where she belongs anyway!" He snapped. Sango put an angry look on. "It's too bad I can't do the sit command on you, or you'd be laying in a dust pile already!" She stated in anger before walking past him with Shippo. Before they went out of sight, Shippo turned back to Inu-Yasha and stuck out his tongue. Inu-Yasha's fists tightened together, but he soon lost his anger when the image of Kagome passed through his mind. *Damn! This is pointless! But I'll go anyway.* He told himself in thought as he leaped off towards the sacred well. Once he had reached it, he first approached it slowly, just incase Kagome popped out suddenly as she sometimes did, but after a moment of waiting, he walked up to it and looked down into the dark hole. Nothing. His heart felt as if it had fallen out of his chest in despair. *She's never coming back, is she?" He quivered in sadness to himself. He set himself down on the side of the well and peered down into it for a long while. *Please……please come back.* He pleading in thought, but she seemed to have not heard his prayers, for she never did. He eventually stood up and walked away from it, but not before protesting to the well through his pain of lose. "FINE! DON'T COME BACK!! SEE IF I CARE!! I….I DON'T NEED YAH ANYWAY!!" He shouted, then stomped away into the trees. He couldn't help but become angry at all this! It was getting to him. He was positive that she'd seen him with Kikyo the week before, on account that that was the last time she had been in that time. He figured that she must have thought that he was there with Kikyo to make his decision final. To tell Kikyo that he loved her, but that's not what happened! That's not what it was at all!! He had gone to tell Kikyo that it was over!! But no!! Kikyo had to make it look all dramatic and all! Inu-Yasha was certain that that's why Kagome went away. *She must not have seen the whole thing either! I broke up with Kikyo at the end very harshly! She would have seen that I wasn't telling her that I loved her if she had only stayed and watched the whole thing!!! Poor Kagome….She thinks that I….* Inu-Yasha paused his thoughts as he sat down under a tree to rest his legs, which were already tired and throbbing. *Damn it all…..how can I explain what really happened between Kikyo and I that day!? It's so hard to say!! I can't just say that I don't love Kikyo…there has to be details as well!!* He told himself in thought. His mind trailed off then to that day, that hour, those few minute with Kikyo.

~ vision of the week before~

Kikyo stood in front of Inu-Yasha a few feet away. Inu-Yasha starred upon her stiffly. Her eyes were as cold and dark as Naraku's at that moment of time. "Kikyo….I came to tell you that…" Inu-Yasha started up, but Kikyo glared at him with her evil stare and interrupted. "Yes. I know you have come to tell me once again that you care for me deeply, as you've done many of times before now." She stated. Inu-Yasha starred for a moment, then shook his head. "No. I've come to tell you that….I…I no longer wish to be stuck with your guilt! I want out! Would you leave me be! Leave me to-" "To be with that lowly girl!" Kikyo interrupted his words once again. Inu-Yasha starred and narrowed his eyes. "Perhaps….." Kikyo began with a smirk, then suddenly jumped into Inu-Yasha's arms. "No! Inu-Yasha! Stay with me! Come with me! Die with me!!" She shrieked. Inu-Yasha pulled away. "No! No Kikyo! You don't get it! We're over! I have no more feelings for you! I'm sorry, but I know you don't for me either!!" He yelled. Kikyo chucked to herself, then stepped away. "No matter what though…..your life is always within my reach. I will someday claim your life, then you won't have to say this any longer…..never forget that I was your first love…and perhaps…your last." She stated. Inu-Yasha's teeth grinded. "KIKYO! Let me tell you something before you go! Our love was never strong….or else why where we tricked like that so easily by Naraku!" He explained. Kikyo's eyes narrowed onto Inu-Yasha as she began to turn and walk away. "Farwell Inu-Yasha. I wish to never see you again…." Kikyo began. Inu-Yasha sighed in a bit of comfort in himself, but then Kikyo started up again. "Except your dead body. I do wish to see you dead. I do not care who kills you….but I will be there standing upon your lifeless body in the end." She hissed, then walked away, her soul demons following her. Inu-Yasha stood for a moment, then relaxed. *Finally. It's over. I don't feel the guilt of her death anymore! It's been taken from me….and that's defiantly a good thing. And now I have no one else to quiver over. I know who I love already. Kagome….* He stated in thought as he began to head back to the camp that Kagome and the others were at. Once he had arrived there though, he found that Kagome had left! "She went off into the forest a long time ago, and came back here only to get her things! She then went into the well after that! She didn't even say god-bye either! I'm worried." Sango explained. Inu-Yasha looked towards the direction of the well. *Kagome….should I go after you? What's wrong? Why are you……no……she didn't! D…Did she?* He thought in horror of what he knew was true. She had seen him with Kikyo!! He starred to the ground and fell into depression of what he might have set upon the one he truly loved.

~Out of vision~

Inu-Yasha stood up again and went to go find his other companions. *I know that Kagome saw me with Kikyo!! I have to explain to her the truth about this all!!!* He told himself in his mind before started to leap through the trees toward Kaede's village.

~Modern day Tokyo, Japan~

Kagome looked out of the school window. It was a lovely, sunny day outside, but through her eyes, it looked like it was a down pour of rain. She had fallen into total denial with herself, and was about ready to scream and cry like bloody murder, although she never did. Her friends all starred at her and talked behind her back about how she looked so depressed. "She's probably sad cause Hojo gave up on her!" One of the girls whispered. Pretty soon, Kagome started sneezing as the word spread. (In Japan, when someone sneezes for no apparent reason, it means someone's talking about them behind their back ^.^) After school got out, Kagome walked home silently. Sota walked with her, but stayed quiet. He had noticed his older sister's sad looks and sighs, and had decided to keep his mouth shut if he knew what was good for him. When they reached their family's shrine, they walked up the steps to the shrine, and then went into the house in the back of the shrine. Kagome didn't even say hello to her mom as she ran up the stairs, and shut her door behind her. Kagome's mom and Sota starred up the stairs to her shut door. "She's acting so strange lately!" Kagome's mom stated. Sota nodded, then turned to head into the living room for some TV watching.

Kagome sat on the side of her bed and looked over her papers of homework in her lap. Her cat Boyo had plopped himself next to her, and was purring softly. Kagome reached down and petted the cat lovingly. "Well, at least I have you to talk to. Boyo….I miss him…….a lot……a whole lot." She stated, as her mind trailed off to see Inu-Yasha's smirking face in front of her eyes, but then it vanished. She sighed in a depressing way and laid herself down onto her bed. "But look at me! Blabbing on about something that could never happen! Inu-Yasha…..he doesn't love me….the way I do him. He loves Kikyo. I should have seen that coming. I mean, they used to love each other…..and they still probably do now too. I should have just controlled my emotions a little more. I don't even know why I care for Inu-Yasha this much!! I mean, he has dog ears for peat's sake!" She exclaimed. After a moment had passed, she had to curse herself, because she knew in every part of her that she loved ever single part of Inu-Yasha, including his O so adorable ears atop his head. She sighed again and looked over to her clock. It read 6:00 p.m. Tomorrow was Saturday, and usually she went to the warring states era on the weekends, but she had a crushing feeling inside of her stomach, and it hurt to even think about going back, even if she desperately wanted to see Inu-Yasha, she couldn't make herself go.

It was about midnight before she finally found sleep and drifted off to a place where she could hold Inu-Yasha close once more without having to worry about Kikyo, or anyone else. Her dreams were the only thing that kept her from falling into complete despair. That night she did dream about Inu-Yasha, but it was more like a nightmare, because what she had the dream of, was what she saw when she spotted Inu-Yasha with Kikyo that week before then.

~Into Kagome's dream, which is also a vision of what she saw when she found Inu-Yasha with Kikyo~

Kagome stumbled about in the forest. She had truly wondered off from the others to enjoy herself, but now she was on a search for Inu-Yasha. He hadn't been around all morning! She pushed her way through trees, and shrubs, until she finally shoved a bush out of her way, and saw Inu-Yasha standing about 20 yards away. As a smile grew onto her face, and she was about to call out his name in happiness of locating him, Kikyo suddenly caught her eye, and she figured out that Inu-Yasha was talking with her. She ducked behind some bushes and starred out at them with a bit of curiosity, and a lot of worry. Inu-Yasha looked as if he had just said something important, and Kikyo was smirking. Kagome sighed on account that she couldn't hear a word of what they were saying. Suddenly, Kikyo ran up and embraced Inu-Yasha. Kagome's eyes widened as she starred. Inu-Yasha started to say something again, and Kikyo stepped away, but not in a sad way either. Kagome's eyes walled up with tears at the bases of them, and she stood up from where she crouched down. *Inu-Yasha……y….y…you've made your decision….haven't you…..* She thought in a shaking voice in her mind. She stepped away. Inu-Yasha was saying something important again, she could tell. Kagome forced her eyes away from the two, and turned. Then she began to run through the forest as tears spilled over her cheeks and to the ground. *HE HAS MADE HIS DECISION!! HE'S CHOSEN KIKYO!!! KIKYO!!!!!* She screamed in thought. As she ran up to the camp where Miroku, Sango, and Shippo were at, she slowed down, then walked into the camp with her head lowered to the ground. Shippo turned around to her quickly. "Kagome! There you are! I was getting worried about you, yah know!" He stated. Kagome didn't reply. Miroku looked up from his short nap and starred to Kagome, along with Sango. "Kagome? Are you feeling okay?" Miroku questioned. Sango nodded. "Yeah! Your eyes look red! Are you okay?!" She quivered. Kagome looked away from her friends and ran to the well, not turning back. She could hear them calling for her to come back, but she couldn't. Not after what she had seen. Kikyo and Inu-Yasha. Together. She threw her bag into the well, then leaped in after it. *I WON'T COME BACK HERE ANYMORE!! I CAN'T!!! NOT AFTER THIS!! I'LL NEVER COME BACK!!!" She screeched in her mind as light surrounded her and brought her back to her time.

~Out of dream, and back to real times~

Kagome sat up into her bed in a rush, then settled down once she realized that it had all been a dream, but the bad thing that burdened her mind was that it had actually happened! Kikyo and Inu-Yasha had been together that day, and even though she couldn't hear their voices, she could imagine every word spoken. Inu-Yasha must have told Kikyo that he loved her, and that he would be with her forever. That's probably what he said! A tear slid down Kagome's cheek, then hit her pillow. Soon, it was nothing but tears throughout the night, and the next morning came, and she still cried, for she hated the fact that Inu-Yasha didn't love her as she did him.

~Warring states era~

Inu-Yasha woke up laying beside the well. The night before, he had had dinner with Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kaede, then went back to the well to sleep, because that was as close to Kagome as he could get. He ran his hand over the wooden frame of it. Everything about the well reminded him of Kagome. *Kagome…..will you ever come back?* He wondered. "Why don't you go and get her, fool!" Snapped a familiar voice from behind him. Inu-Yasha sat up and looked over his shoulder to see a glaring Kikyo looking back at him. Her narrow his eyes to her. "KIKYO!! GET LOST!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT KAGOME HASN'T RETURNED! IF YOU HADN'T HUGGED ME LIKE THAT!!!" He screamed. Kikyo smirked. "No! It was the girl's fault! She should not have been spying on us! She is a rude one isn't she!" She stated. Inu-Yasha teeth clinched together and his fists tightened as he stood to his feet. "Kikyo…..don't you insult Kagome! She wasn't spying!! You know perfectly well that she'd never spy!! She probably was looking for me when she saw us together!!" He snapped. Kikyo chuckled. "Well, I knew that." She bragged. Inu-Yasha's eyes narrowed even more, and his anger rose. "YOU MEAN YOU KNEW SHE WAS COMING!! AND YOU KNEW WHEN SHE WAS WATCHING, SO YOU HUGGED ME ON PURPOSE!!!???" He exclaimed. Kikyo's smirk grew. Inu-Yasha raised his hand, toped with his claws in front of Kikyo's face. "Kikyo….I will never hurt you….but I will warn you….KEEP AWAY FROM ME!!! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT HORRIBLE MEMORIES!! YOU DO NOTHING BUT CAUSE DISASTERS!! AND IT MAY BE YOUR FAULT THAT KAGOME WILL NEVER RETURN!!!" he shouted. Kikyo stepped forward to him. "Then why don't you go find the pest." She hissed. Inu-Yasha put one foot onto the base of the well. "Maybe I will." He said in anger, before leaping into the well without even thinking. Kikyo watched from above as he disappeared into the light of the well, onward to Kagome's time. Kikyo's smirk faded. "Keh! Farwell….worthless half breed!" She snapped, before heading back into the forest, into her shadows, into her world of searching for death upon Inu-Yasha, whom she knew would return with Kagome.