pairings: Ginny/Tom, Ginny/Harry, Ginny/Draco, Ginny/Dean
a/n: This sucks my apologize. I love these two and have severe writers block. Sorry if this is terrible… and that the ending is abrupt. The title comes from a W.H Auden poem!
/
time will say nothing but I told you so
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
Sylvia Plath
/
"Anything… please anything you want. I'll do anything."
"I want you to die." His voice is bitter and harsh, and somehow still beautiful to her.
/
She tells her mother she's fallen in love when she's eleven years old.
(she leaves out with whom)
Molly Weasley smiles slightly and kisses her daughter on the head.
"Love is a very powerful emotion Ginny."
"I know," Ginny whispers.
And she means it, she means it, she means it. But no one ever believes her,
(at least not until its too late)
/
She carves her initials into the front of Tom Riddle's diary.
Just to make sure he remembers the girl with the red hair, and the freckled skin.
/
Tom tells her, one day they'll be together.
She believes him.
(she believes everything he says)
/
"Kiss me," she whispers, even though she knows now it's all a lie.
"You stupid girl," he mutters, but he does as she asks, touching his cold, hard lips, to hers.
It's over in seconds, but it's everything she ever wanted and more.
"I love you," she murmurs.
The last thing she remembers before falling, is Tom's dark eyes, looking strait into her own.
/
She wakes up to find her whole family sitting in the hospital wing.
Her father places his warm hand over hers, her mother falls on top of her sobbing hysterically, and George and Fred make an attempt at a few awkward jokes. Ron, Charlie, and Bill sit silently, never lifting their gaze.
(she can almost hear them whispering freak)
But she doesn't care, because all she can think about is Tom's lips, and Tom's eyes, and the fact that she'll probably never see him again.
"Tom," she whispers, before she can stop herself.
Her mother breaks into a batch of fresh tears.
/
Her parents decide to take the whole family to Europe that summer.
"It's the new Weasley's," her mother mutters, mindlessly tossing hand me down clothing into suitcases. "New beginnings, a fresh start. Wouldn't that be nice dear?" Her mother's eyes shine with fresh tears, and impossible hope.
(no)
"Sure."
/
"Do you still think about him?" her mother asks her the night before she leaves for her second year at Hogwarts.
Her silence, leads her mother to believe she's fallen asleep.
"Things are going to get better Ginny, I promise," Molly whispers, kissing her daughters forehead lightly.
(liar, liar, liar)
/
She's thirteen the first time she takes one of her mother's kitchen knives, and drags it against her pale freckled wrist.
And it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
But he taught her long ago that pain means success, and she'll do anything to make him proud.
"Tom," she whispers meekly, as if it might somehow make him appear, make him care even the slightest bit.
/
Dean Thomas tastes like sunshine, and butterbeer.
Sweet, beautiful and pure.
She hates herself for wanting darkness, and venom.
Black eyes, Black heart, soulless.
(she thinks they just might be the same)
/
"What did he do to you?" Harry asks one sunny day; they spend lying out by the lake.
"Tom?"
"Voldemort."
"Everything," she whispers before she can stop herself, and suddenly she's shaking violently, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Harry wraps his arms around her, kisses her eyes, her cheeks, her hands. "It's okay Ginny, I hate him too."
Except she doesn't hate him, can't hate him.
(and somehow loving him is so much worse than hating him)
/
She pushes Draco Malfoy against the wall in the girl's bathroom.
Wishes with all her might he won't taste like innocence, and justice.
(tom, tom, tom)
"I knew you weren't like the rest of you're family," he whispers before their mouths crash together.
He's darkness, and blood, and if she doesn't look at him too hard, it's easy enough to pretend it's not really him.
"Shut up," she mumbles lifting her shirt over her head. "This means nothing."
"Sure it doesn't," he smirks glancing down at the red marks on her arms, "Harry Potter's girl."
/
She falls off her broom one day at Quidditch practice.
It's not exactly an accident.
She dreams of Tom that night, dreams of him whispering endless praises in her ear.
/
"Ginny I love you," Harry says, face genuine-hand soft, and comforting, tracing circles on her back.
She feels sick, feels pity for the boy she used to wish with all her heart, would someday love her.
"I,"
(feel nothing)
"love you too."
(liar)
/
"It wasn't an accident was it?" Draco whispers in her ear. "why?"
"Shut the hell up," she murmurs against his lips.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" he asks touching a cold finger to her scarred wrists.
"Why do you even care?" she asks crossing her hands over her chest, taking a step backwards.
"Because," he pauses flinching slightly, "I care."
"Well, don't," her lips silence him.
/
Her mother finds her kitchen knife hidden in a drawer in the bathroom, over the Easter Holiday.
And she cries, and cries, and cries, and kisses her daughter's wrists hoping to make the pain go away.
Ginny can only manage to shake her head.
/
She dreams of Tom that night.
Dreams of his smile, his touch, his hate filled words.
"Ginevra," he's so close, too close. "Ginevra, do you love me?" he whispers, voice full of mockery.
"Yes," the sound of laughter wakes her up.
/
Her mother takes her to a therapist.
Believes with all her heart Ginny can be fixed.
"You're just sick… that's all it is. You'll get better. We'll make you better."
(liar)
Ginny knows you can't fix a broken heart.
/
"You're my soul mate," Harry smiles and kisses her head.
She catches Draco's eye from across the dining hall.
"No," Ginny mumbles under her breath. "Soul mates end up in the same place."
She wonders for a moment if Tom and her could be soul mates.
(before remembering neither of them have souls)
/
"Anything… please anything you want. I'll do anything."
"I want you to die."
He gets his wish.
/