DISCLAIMER: The setting and characters belong to Stargate Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. Sadly, I'm not making a red cent off how much I love them.
CONTINUITY/SPOILERS: Takes place in an alternate Season 9 where Sam and Daniel have been together a while, but only has the vaguest of seasonal spoilers.
NOTES: This is a birthday/wedding present for Amy, aka Dragonsinger, August, 2006. May your married life be long and happy and your wedding only a distant memory.
Daniel figured they'd have a simple wedding.
Too bad nobody wanted to point out to him that there's no such thing as a simple wedding.
Over a cup of pudding in the mess hall, he told Cam and Teal'c, "Sam and I are used to saving the world on a deadline, after all. How hard could a wedding be?"
Cam's mouth opened and closed a few times, but he finally shook his head and concentrated on his lasagna. Teal'c stared at Daniel for a long moment. "I believe that I will leave this to be a learning experience," was all he would say.
Daniel shook his head in confusion and left to check in on Sam.
As he suspected, Sam was in her office, undoubtedly contending with some of the piles of paperwork that accumulated every time SG-1 set foot through the Stargate. At least, that's what he figured she was doing at her computer.
Although the stack of files looked exactly the same as it had when he'd left her there to go to his own lab several hours previously.
Okaaaaay. Daniel smiled brightly at her. "Hey, how's it going?"
"What exactly is cool music?" she asked, leaning back in her chair until it squeaked.
"Uh...you're asking me?" Daniel looked around in case he'd missed someone else in the room. "I'm sure Jack would be happy to explain to you that I'm most likely the least cool person on the planet." He drummed his fingers on the side of his leg a few times. "Possibly on several planets."
"I don't know anything about music," she said, brows furrowed in distress.
"That's okay," Daniel said, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "I'm pretty sure I prefer your knowledge of physics."
"Then how will I make sure we have cool music for the reception?"
"Ah..."
Sighing, Sam leaned back from the computer. "It's Mark. He keeps asking me things about the reception. Telling me if there isn't alcohol and good music, people won't have a good time. I don't know how he manages it, but he's been making me feel inadequate."
Daniel snorted. "Mark? Trust me. You're worth about ten of your brother."
"Thank you, Daniel," she said with a smile.
"In fact," Daniel said, tapping his chin, "is there any way we can get his kids to come without him?"
"Daniel!" Sam shook her head and waved a pen at him.
"I'm kidding," he said, pushing the pen aside so he could lean over and kiss her lightly on the lips. "Sam, don't worry about the reception. Everyone's coming to see us get married. That's what's important."
"Thank you for reminding me." Sam patted his cheek. "Now get back to work and I'll see you later."
With a firm set to her chin that he recognized, she reached for the first files on the stack and Daniel left before he could get drafted into helping her.
Several hours later, Daniel rubbed his eyes as the symbols on the tablet in front of him began to swim in a clockwise motion. When he was done, the symbols had stopped moving, which was always a relief.
"Working hard again, hmm?" Vala asked over his shoulder.
Daniel jumped in surprise, nearly knocking over his coffee cup. "Don't do that," he said, teeth gritted.
"Do what?"
"Never mind." Daniel turned to look at her. "What do you want?"
"Nothing, Daniel." Putting hand to her chest, Vala did an excellent impression of one who was shocked, nay dismayed, by the implication. "I simply came to check in on a friend who might be feeling a bit of stress before his impending nuptials."
Daniel rubbed his forehead. "I really don't have the time to deal with you right now, Vala. Whatever you want, go ask Col. Mitchell."
She pouted. "He didn't seem to know why Col. Carter was beating a practice dummy into shreds, muttering to herself."
"What?" He sat bolt upright.
"I'm afraid your blushing bride has lost her mind," Vala said with a smirk. "You might want to check on her."
Vala laughed as he jumped out of his chair and dashed down the hallway.
By the time he found her, Sam had left the gym and was hunched over the computer in her lab, frowning at the screen as if it were a horde of Goa'uld. He stood in the doorway for a minute, knowing she wouldn't notice him unless he came accompanied by 76 trombones and 110 cornets. That was okay, though, because it gave him a chance to just look at her, the blonde hair he loved to spike up into a pseudo-mohawk, and that little V between her eyebrows that formed when she was concentrating very hard.
She looked perfectly normal now and Daniel wondered if perhaps this was some new practical joke from Vala.
"Tough problem?" Daniel asked when he finally entered the room. He took his favorite position, leaning back against the table next to the keyboard so he could keep looking at her.
"Yes, very tough," she said, eyes still glued to the screen.
Daniel waited, expecting her to begin explaining how the neutrinos bombarding the Ori supergate had caused an interesting pattern in subspace. Or something like that. Instead, she continued to click away at the mouse and keyboard, muttering something under her breath he didn't quite catch.
He turned to look at her computer screen and stopped dead in his tracks. "Sam?"
"Mmm?" Click. New page. Click click. New page.
"Sam, are you looking at wedding dresses?"
At that, she finally looked up. "No, Daniel, I've come up with a plan to stop the Ori and it involves taffeta. Do you mind?"
"Uh...no." Slowly, he tiptoed out of the room as she went back to staring at the computer.
This obviously required a consultation.
The infirmary wasn't exactly Daniel's favorite place in the world, but when you needed to find a doctor, sadly, it was the place to go. Especially if you were looking for a specific doctor who worked hours nearly as long as his own.
Peering around the corner, he noted only a few patients and Dr. Carolyn Lam seated at a desk in the corner scowling at paperwork. He tossed a mental coin: She could be bored stiff and looking for a distraction or she could have a particularly obstreperous patient and be looking for a target.
Oh well. He'd faced down villains aplenty and he was pretty sure Carolyn wouldn't kill him.
Probably.
He sidled over to her desk, coughing politely to get her attention.
"What?" She looked up, still scowling, and stood. "Did you manage to get injured on base? What is wrong with you? Come over here and--"
"No no!" He waved his hands. "I'm fine. I was hoping to talk to you about something, uh, personal."
Hands on her hips, she studied him and he squirmed. "Fine. Come into my office."
She marched in, waved him to a chair, and shut the door behind them. She could have chosen to sit behind the desk, but she sat in the other visitor's chair, which meant he wasn't in too much trouble.
Daniel relaxed. "So...it's about Sam."
Carolyn pursed her lips. "Sam's hurt?"
"No, she's just acting strange."
"Has she been taken over by another entity?" She perked up at the thought. "Because I think if it happens this month, I win the base lottery, and I could use the money."
Daniel covered his face with his hands and took several long, deep breaths. "I don't think that's the problem. It's the wedding."
"If she's getting cold feet, that's not within my purview to fix."
"She's getting obsessed!" he said, leaning forward and trying to show his concern. "I'm not sure she's getting any work done. She's the most brilliant woman I've ever known and she's obsessed with flowers. And finding the right band."
Carolyn leaned back with a heavy sigh. "Oh. That. I'm afraid there's no cure, Daniel, except to get the wedding over with. Almost every woman I know went through this for their own wedding. Something about the process causes a kind of psychosis."
Daniel paused. "Did you..."
She looked him in the eyes. "Don't. Even. Ask."
"Right. Yes. Well, I'll be going then." He stood up hastily, nearly knocking his chair over in the process.
As he went through the door, Carolyn called after him. "She'll be fine, Daniel. Eventually."
Daniel leaned against a wall and pondered his options. He could leave the situation alone and hope that Sam wouldn't explode. Or implode. Or something equally messy that would cause endless paperwork for the Stargate program.
Or he could try and talk to her again.
Sighing, Daniel added it to the list of things he'd done for his planet that he'd never get a medal for.
She was still in her lab and he resisted the urge to look at what was on her computer now, lest he be distracted by something stranger than wedding dresses. He waved a hand to get her attention.
"Not now, Daniel."
"Yes, now, Sam."
She frowned up at him and ostentatiously took her hands off the keyboard, folding them in her lap like a schoolgirl sent to the principal's office.
Daniel took a deep breath and prayed for patience. "Sam, tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong. Exactly."
He waited, watching her chew on the inside of her bottom lip the way she always did when she was trying not to show emotion in front of men. Part of him wished he could convince her that he didn't mind, but he knew the habit was too ingrained in her after decades in the military.
"It's..." Sam suddenly smiled at him. "I think it's a combination of normal pre-wedding jitters and the memory that my past relationships have gone badly. To say the least."
"We agreed we weren't going to talk about that. Or my past relationships. Which didn't exactly have stellar endings either." The words came out far more bitterly than he'd intended and he immediately regretted them.
Her eyes widened. "Daniel, I'm sorry. I--"
Shaking his head to push away an image of Sha're, he said, "No, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."
Sam leaned forward and gave him a quick hug. "I'm nervous about the ceremony. Will we have everything done in time? Will certain members of our families behave? Will everyone have a good time at the reception?"
"Yes. Maybe. Yes." He couldn't resist.
"Funny." She looked like she wanted to roll her eyes. "And suddenly we have all these presents and...by the way, did you notice that someone--I'm assuming it was Vala--seems to have walked off with a silver salver sent by my Great-aunt Helen?"
"That's okay. What would we do with a silver salver, anyway?"
"I don't know. What's she going to do with it?"
"Good question."
"I guess she can't get into too much trouble with it. Can she?"
"Uh...I'll check." Daniel made a mental note.
Sam shook her head. "I guess it's a bit overwhelming. I don't know why, but it is."
"I understand." And oddly, he sort of did. "But we'll get through this together and soon we'll be back to having aliens try to kill us."
"That's...comforting. I think."
"I try."
The ceremony was a blur, but everyone told him that was normal. All Daniel remembered was Sam taking his hand as the minister pronounced them man and wife, and the entire world narrowing down to just her face as Daniel took Sam's shoulders and kissed her.
There were cheers and promises of teasing for years to come from the military contingent, and hugs from everyone, and threats if he didn't take care of Sam.
There was cake, which he didn't smush into Sam's face because they'd worked out together for years and she could still kick his ass nine times out of ten.
There was dancing and laughter and eventually everyone else went home and there was a bed and more laughter.
And Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter lived happily ever after.
Not peacefully, mind you, but very, very happily.
--end--
Author's note: Some folks (like Amy, for instance) might notice that I've borrowed a few things she said in her LJ for this fic. I hope you don't mind, dear! Sam agreed with you.