Hello everyone, I hope that you are still with me. I know it has been quite awhile since I have posted anything but in all fairness I have been extremely busy. I started taking a few online courses and that almost killed my writing time. However, you will be happy to know that I am working on a new story as we speak. I can't tell you when it will start posting but look for it before the end of the summer and for update about it check out my blog mztspot (dot) blogger (dot) com. I am working on updating it today and I have some great stories to recommend to you to keep you occupied until I start posting again.
Okay this one-shot was my entry into "The One with all the Twilight" Friends/Twilight crossover contest. The idea was that you had to take a well known friends episode and write it using the cast of Twilight. I didn't win but I thought it was funny and wanted to share it will you. Hope you like and as always please review.
Story Title: The One With All The Boobies
Disclaimer: As much as I would like to claim some responsibility for these great characters both Twilight and Friends I have nothing. Just the plot idea and that isn't even my either. So give credit where credit is due. To the wonderful creature of Twilight S. Meyer and all the great writers of Friends, thank you for letting me borrow your genius.
Jasper POV
"JASPER!"
I don't know how it happened. I couldn't move and apparently neither could she. Edward was going to kill me. Literally kill me. Not just rip me apart but burn the pieces. He might even dance around the fire.
What was she doing in here anyway and where was Alice? Why didn't she see this coming? I dropped my head in my hands. She wasn't going to take this lightly either. She might actually help Edward tear me apart. This was not going to end well at all.
"SHUT THE DOOR!" I did as she asked right as Edward and the rest of our family showed up.
"What happened?" Edward was questioning moving toward the door. "What's wrong with Bella?"
I looked over at Alice. "Why weren't you in there?"
"I left to give Bella some privacy since she was changing." She flitted to my side. "Jazz what happened?"
"Wait, did you say changing?" I felt the humor coming off Emmett. I was surprised because right now I didn't think that I could feel anything but shame.
"Yeah" Alice said looking to Emmett and then she whipped back to me and I could see that she could tell what happened. All I could do was stand there waiting for them to start the fire. "Oh Jazz, you didn't?"
"He didn't what?" Carlisle was asking and I could feel the anger rising in Edward.
"He saw her naked!" Emmett exclaimed as he busted out laughing.
"Emmett" Rosalie chinned him. She actually was feeling bad for Bella. I know everyone thought that she didn't feel anything but annoyance for her but truthfully Rose's feeling toward Bella had changed so much since Italy. Especially with the wedding coming up.
"Is she okay?" Esme asked.
"I don't know." I hug my head. Edward still hadn't spoken and Bella hadn't come out of my room.
"Wow Eddie" Emmett clasp Edward on the back. "Your brother got to see your fiancé naked before you. That's gotta suck."
Edward growled and turned and punched Emmett right in the stomach. I figured that was what he wanted to do to me but Emmett was closer. "Shut up Emmett" He snarled.
"I'm sorry Edward" I didn't think it would help but I said it anyway. After finally getting past my attack at Bella's birthday party now I had to do this.
"It's okay Jazz" Alice tried to cheer me up. "It's not like you've never seen boobs before. You see mine ever night."
"TMI Alice" Rosalie shuttered.
"Oh please" She rolled her eyes. "You act like we haven't all seen your boobs Rose. You and Emmett practically walk around naked."
"But Rosie had great boobs so it's okay." Emmett put his arm around her.
"Are you saying Bella doesn't?" Edward asked.
"I don't know" I could see the smile on Emmett's face before he said anything "let's ask Jasper since we know you don't know either."
That got him a kick down the stairs. If he wasn't carful it would be both of us in that fire. I tried to calm the situation but all that was sent out was a wave of remorse.
"Relax Jasper" Carlisle patted me on the back. "It could happen to any of us."
"Yeah, it's not like we knock before walking into any room." Esme comforted. "Maybe someone should go check on Bella."
"No need" Bella finally came out. She walked right over to Edward who pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead.
"Are you alright Love?"
"Yeah" She had a small smile. "A little embarrassed but I guess this is just something I'm going to have to get use to if what I heard through that door is correct."
"Oh Bella" Alice ran over to her and hugged her. "You are so great and I want you to know that I am not the least bit jealous. After all, if you count Edward's mind reading then I'm sure that he has seen me naked hundreds of times so it's like we're even."
"Alice" I moaned. Why did she always have to try to put a nice spin on everything?
"I'm just trying to help." She shrugged then turned back to Bella. "I guess you don't want to finish trying on all our honeymoon clothes now?"
"Not really." She shook her head and I could tell that she might have said things were okay but it wasn't exactly how she felt.
"Want to go shopping for bikinis?" Alice perked up. "You wouldn't have to be embarrassed at all with me. I've already seen your boobies."
"Alice" Esme spoke this time.
"But I have"
"I think I should take Bella home." Edward started walking toward the stairs.
"Afraid someone else might beat you to the punch?" Emmett shouted up from downstairs. At least he was smart enough to stay there this time.
"You know Em he is going to kick your ass and this time I'm not going to stop him." Rosalie yelled back down.
"Don't be jealous Rosie" Emmett was beside her in seconds. "I wasn't the one getting the peep show. Besides you have the best boobies of any one here."
"Home Edward" Bella said crossing her arms over her chest.
"Aw Bella I didn't mean any offense" Emmett yelled back. "I'd be willing to take a look just for comparison sake."
"Emmett" Everyone yelled except Edward and Rosalie. Edward growled and stalked over I'm sure with the intention of hitting Emmett again but Rosalie beat him to it. She smacked him against the back of his head and pushed him into the wall.
"I just had that wall painted." Esme shook her head. "Why I keep updating this house is beyond me. You guys just tear it apart."
"Sorry Esme" Rosalie apologized. "I'll go get the supplies to fix it." She started walking and turned back when Emmett stayed on the floor. "Come on perv. You started this and you're going to fix it."
Emmett got up and followed her while Edward led Bella out of the house to take her back to Charlie's. I went into my room but somehow it felt dirty now. I had violated my future sister-in-law. The rest of the family had been right about the fact that all of us had practically seen each other naked lots of times but not Bella. She wasn't even a complete member of the family yet and I had to go and embarrass her. First I almost eat her last year and now I go and barge in on her naked. If she didn't speak to me for the rest of eternity I would understand.
I looked around and it was like the room was looking back at me. It remembered what I had done and the guilt of it was suffocating.
"Don't feel bad Jazz." Alice wrapped her arms around my waist. "It was an accident."
"Still Alice" I turned and put my arms around her. "Edward is so mad, Bella is completely embarrassed and Emmett just thinks it's hilarious. You know he is going to ride this for as long as he can."
"It will be okay." She calmed me better than my power could ever work.
"Why was she in here anyway? Shouldn't she have been in Edward's room?"
"Have you seen his room?" Alice shook her head. "We had way too many clothes to go though to be limited in space."
"Edward's room is the same size as ours." I reminded her.
"Closet space, baby" She laughed at my obviously missing her point.
I looked around still disgusted with myself and what I had done. "I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to walk in here and not remember the look on Bella's face."
"Just her face right?" Alice's eyes narrowed and I felt the sudden jealousy.
"Yes just her face" I walked over to the bed. "Even you think it was wrong and now this room will always remind me of what I did." I dropped my head back into my hands.
Alice started jumping up and down with excitement and I couldn't help looking up confused. "Don't you get what this means?" She noticed my distress at her enjoyment of my current predicament. "I get to redecorate the room. Thanks Jazz" She kissed me and sprinted out the door.
"Esme hurry" I heard her calling through the house. "Jazz is letting me redo the bedroom so that he doesn't picture Bella's boobs when he walks in." I was so glad that both Edward and Emmett weren't there when she said that. "Let's go shopping."
Leave it to Alice to find the upside to my humiliation.
A week later and Bella still hadn't been back over to the house. I didn't want to think that it was because of me but I knew that it was. I thought about going to her house to apologize again but what if Charlie was there? How do you explain that you came to apologize for seeing someone's breast to their father? As the chief of police he would probably arrest me for being a peeping Tom and that would be only if he didn't try to shoot me first.
"Jasper" I heard Carlisle's voice from downstairs and went down to find everyone, Bella included, sitting around the dining room table. I took my seat next to Alice and chanced a glance at Bella who quickly reddened when she noticed. This was going to suck.
"Alright" Carlisle started. "I called this meeting because of what happened a week ago. I know that Jasper feels bad about what happened and it's become apparent that it's bothering Bella also."
"Is that true Bella?" Esme asked.
"It's not really that it's bothering me but I was embarrassed."
"Is that why you haven't wanted to come over?" Alice asked and Bella shook her head yes. "But Bella you know that I don't care."
"But maybe she does Alice" Rosalie told her. "How would you like it if Emmett walked in and saw you naked?"
"He has" Alice shrugged.
"What?" Both Rosalie and I were looking at the two of them.
"It's not like it sounds" Emmett looked amused.
"Um Em, it is exactly like it sounds." Alice smiled at me. "I was missing you while you were hunting and I thought that if I 'handled the situation' myself then I wouldn't quite jump you as bad when you got home." She shrugged. "How was I to know that Emmett would walk in during my little moment."
"Are you kidding?" Rosalie stood, eyes blazing. "You're a psychic for Pete's sake."
"Well, my mind was otherwise engaged at the time so I wasn't exactly looking into the future. I was more focused on the present. And it's not like you don't do the same thing when Emmett is away." She stuck her tongue out at her.
"Is this what I have to look forward to after we get married?" Bella was questioning Edward.
"God I hope not." He had his eyes closed and his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Can we get back to the subject at hand?" Carlisle re-directed the conversations and I sent a few calming tones toward Rosalie. I wasn't really that happy about Emmett seeing Alice either but after what happened with Bella I could understand a mistake.
"Bella we want you to know that despite what it might sound like we do not go around barging in on each other in various states of dress." Carlisle was trying to reassure Bella and it would have worked if Emmett had kept his mouth shut.
"Yes we do" He was smiling. "I've seen everyone here naked with the exception of Esme and you." She pointed his head toward Bella.
"Oh God" Bella breathed as Edward snarled.
"Not helping Em" Rosalie was shaking her head.
"Look I say she should know what she is getting herself into before she moves in." He was looking around. "With that in mind I think the only thing to do about what happened is to return the favor."
"Excuse me?" My eyes bugged out at Emmett.
"Turnabout is fair play" He was shrugging again but with a big smile on his face. "Jasper Whitlock it is time to show Bella your co..."
"Emmett" Everyone exclaimed. I just buried my head on the table.
"That is a horrible suggestion" Esme was scolding him.
"Why?"
"Because Emmett not everyone looks at seeing people naked as no big deal." Carlisle told him.
"But you see people naked all the time" He pointed out. "Matter of fact, when Bella had that surgery for her appendix didn't you see her naked then?" Carlisle didn't say anything but I could feel the embarrassment coming off of him.
"Carlisle?" Edward was asking.
"This is just getting better and better." Emmett was laughing again. "Both your brother and your father have seen her naked first." He wiggled his eyes at Bella. "I guess that just leaves me."
"Not going to happen Emmett" Bella spoke just as Edward stood and Rosalie slapped him.
"Knock it off" She screamed.
"This is not going the way that it was supposed to" Carlisle had his face in his hands.
"I think I should take Bella back home." Edward was reaching for her hand.
"But we didn't come to any conclusions." Esme sounded worried.
Edward just shrugged and lead Bella away.
A few days later Alice came bounding into the room with a monster grin on her face. I hadn't felt this time of excitement from her in a while and I had to admit that I was enjoying it. I reached for her but she stayed her ground smiling at me.
"Jazz, will you do me a favor?"
"Anything, you know that."
Her smile grew. "Will you let Bella see you naked?"
"What?" I knew I had to have heard her wrong.
"Well, I have been searching the future and I think that Emmett was on to something." She was serious. "If you let Bella see you naked then she won't be as embarrassed every time she walks in here and it will be like really welcoming her into the family."
"Won't the wedding do that?" I groaned.
"Not the same way."
"And what about Edward?" I noticed she waited until he was out hunting before she mentioned this idea of hers.
"He'll be upset but he'll get over it." She waved my concern off.
"Alice, I love you but I just don't think I can do it."
"Please" she wined and I hated disappointing her but I just couldn't do it.
"I'm sorry honey" I stood kissing her on the cheek and went to go for a walk.
I should have known better than to assume Alice would let it go. Three days later I heard her leading Bella though the house.
"Just change into the one blue top that just arrived so I can see if I need to order a few more."
"Why would I need more than one of the same top?" Bella was asking.
"Have I not taught you anything" Alice sounded exasperated. "It's not about needing; it's about spending."
"Alice have you ever thought about being a buyer for some retail store?" Bella's question made so much sense. "You could shop for a living."
"Maybe some place like Saks Fifth Avenue" Alice sounded like she was smiling and I could feel her humor. "It would be like the mother ship calling me home."
Bella laughed. "You are too much sometimes."
"I know but you love me." Alice's mood changed. "No get in there and change."
I relax realizing that for a moment I had thought Alice was going to force Bella in here with me until I stripped down and gave Bella an eyeful. Then I felt Bella's sudden change and I knew that Alice had done something and I was afraid to find out what.
"EMMETT!" Bella screamed and then it all made sense. Alice must have gone to the one person in whole house who wouldn't think anything about showing Bella all he had.
I ran out just in time to see Edward grab Emmett by the throat. "What were you thinking?" He roared.
"But it was Alice's idea" Emmett choked.
Edward dropped him in a crumpled heap on the floor and turned to Alice. I jumped in between them before he could take one step and Bella grabbed his arm before he could take another.
"It's the only way that things would go back to normal" Alice piped up from behind me. "Bella had to see someone and Jasper wouldn't do it."
"What's the matter Jazz? Couldn't man up?" Emmett laughed. "Pussy"
I was two steps from kicking his ass when Alice grabbed me and Rosalie grabbed Emmett. "You would think that you have caused enough trouble. Now you want to add in the things that fly out of your mouth." She threw some clothes at him. "Shut the hell up and get dressed."
"Fine" Emmett moved his hand.
"Drop that towel and you're a dead man." Rosalie whispered.
"I'm already a dead man." Emmett joked back.
"Alright" She smirked. "Drop it and Jasper won't be the only one that can't man up."
"Hey" I was getting sick of being the butt of their jokes. "I can man up just fine thank you."
"Of course you can baby" Alice wrapped her arms around me.
"Thank you" A pulled her closer.
"Besides it wasn't like I wanted Bella to see the full you anyway." She shuttered. "I didn't really want her to see the full Emmett either but beggars can't be choosers."
"Emmett you weren't?" Rosalie was ready to rip his head off.
"Yes he was" Bella supplied. "And really what is with you people? Why did I need to see anyone naked besides Edward?"
"To even out the playing field and so you wouldn't be embarrassed." Alice filled her in.
"I more thought of giving you a comparison for when you do see Edward." Emmett shrugged into his shirt. "That way the let down won't be such a shock for you."
"That's it" I tried to calm Edward down but I knew it was a lost cause before I started.
He stalked over to Emmett, and for once Rosalie didn't stop him, picked him up and threw him through the back door.
"Good thing that door was open." Alice shook her head. "Esme would have kicked our collective asses if we had broken one more thing in this house."
I didn't say a word but walked out of the room. I could hear the arguing still going on downstairs but I didn't want to be involved with it. The anger combined with the guilt that I still felt over my part in this was too much to be around them right now.
"Jasper" Bella's soft voice came from behind me.
"I'm sorry" I didn't turn around. I was apologizing for so much with those two little words.
"It's okay." I could hear her walking into the room just a little further. "But can I ask you a real question."
"Sure" I turned then.
"Is it true that everyone has seen everyone in this house?"
I didn't want to lie to her but I didn't want to hurt her relationship with Edward either. "Bella…." I hedged. "That isn't really a simple answer."
"Yes it is" She pushed. "Either they have or they haven't."
I bowed my head. "They have."
I heard the gust of wind as she exhaled. "Well that is a relief."
"What?" I was so shocked.
"I thought that everyone was just saying that so that I didn't feel bad." She smiled. "I knew that with Edward's mind reading he had seen more than he ever wanted to and with Alice's visions she probably had too but it makes me feel better to know that it's a normal circumstance around here."
I just stared at her. "Besides, I know that I'm pretty plain now but if I turn out half as amazing looking at all of you then I don't think I will mind so much who sees my boobs."
I just laughed at her. "Bella you are really amazing."
"Thanks Jazz" She walked over and hugged me for the first time ever. "And just between us how were they?" She looked down at herself. "I would hate to disappoint Edward on our wedding night."
I could feel the insecurity coming from her and I lifted her face to mine. "You have nothing to worry about."
"So" she drew out "on a scale from one to ten?"
"Twenty"
She smiled and hugged me again. "Thanks" she ran off looking for Edward. I could hear her pulling him away from Emmett before the tree he had him pinned to could break.
"I told you it would all work out if she saw someone naked." Alice said from the door. She was standing there casually either having heard my conversation with Bella or seen it in a vision.
"Yes" I walked up and put my arms around her waist. "You are very smart and I should have listened to you."
"Yes you should have." She leaned into me as I started kissing her neck. "There's always next time."
"Next time?" I leaned back. "Do you foresee someone else walking in on Bella?"
"In this house?" Alice laughed. "Without question; I don't need to be a psychic to know that." We both laughed as I went back to kissing her neck. "Emmett was right about something else too."
"What?" I couldn't think of anything Emmett had said in the last few weeks that were anything other than a joke.
Alice pushed me onto the bed and closed the door being sure to lock it. We didn't want any more walk-ins. She walked over straddling my waist and leaned down running her tongue around my ear before speaking.
"Major Whitlock it is definitely time to see that cock."
I threw back my head laughing and rolled so that she was under me. "Yes ma'am."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"EMMETT!"
Not again. I rushed out with everyone. Emmett was sitting on the floor with his hands to his eyes. "My eyes, my eyes."
I looked around wondering why he was so upset. I could see everyone. Alice, Rosalie, Carlisle, Edward, Bella…..Bella? That was when I got it.
"What did you do?" Rosalie stood above him with her hands on her hips.
"I thought it was Bella" He was explaining.
"You thought who was Bella?" Carlisle asked slowly.
"Me" Esme came out of the hallway bathroom.
"My eyes, my eyes" Emmett kept rocking back and forth repeating the same phrase.
"Serves you right, freak" Edward spoke softly wrapping his arm around Bella.
"How could you?" Carlisle accused.
"What is wrong with you?" Rosalie kicked him in the leg.
"She's our mom, man, that's like incestuous." I couldn't help but get in on the jokes. He had sent enough my way when it was me.
Alice was getting ready to say something when Bella broke out laughing. We all turned to see her doubled over grabbing her middle. Even Emmett had stopped rocking and was looking at her strangely.
"Bella, Love, are you okay?" Edward moved a little closer to her.
"You're all a bunch of pervs." She got out in between laughs. "First Jasper walks in on me, then Alice admits Emmett's walked in on her before practically forcing me to walk in on him and now he's going around trying to get a look at my boobs and walks in on Esme."
She kept laughing. "Why you bother wearing clothes is a mystery."
"Don't forget that Carlisle admitted seeing you naked during surgery." Emmett added from the floor.
"Shut the fuck up Emmett" Everyone yelled.
"What? I was just trying to help."
"You want to help Emmett why don't you try knocking next time." Esme told him.
"Yes mom" He bowed his head.
I couldn't resist sending a torrent of guilt his way. It served him right for making fun of my predicament with Bella. He fell back down on the ground shaking as if he was crying and apologizing over and over again.
"What the hell is wrong with you now?" Rosalie pulled him up.
"I don't know" Emmett kept shaking. "I can't stop."
"Jazz?" Alice looked at me and I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer.
"Who's the pussy now?" I eased up on the emotional overload.
"I should kick your ass" Emmett stalked toward me.
"Bring it pussy" I ran out the back door just as I heard Bella laughing again.
"What the fuck am I marrying into?"
AN: I hope you all enjoyed it and I can't wait to hear your reviews. See ya soon and don't forget to check out the blog for update information.