My Heart Can Not Lie
The night was still in the cold damp marsh. Tabby was never late; for she knew the object of her one true desire would never fail her. Malcolm Gatherton was the eldest son of the Duke of Gatherton. The family has a very honorable rich history that dates back hundreds of years. Tabby... well she didn't know who she was; to be exact. Having been raised on a farm by a blind woman name Cora that she loved more than life itself. Cora did the best she could but a deep desire to know who she was, always call to her soul. Cora told her that one night a loud knock and a baby's cry awoke her from her sleep. That was the night she opened the door to find Tabby; left alone with no words as to where she was from or whom she belonged to. Cora always called Tabby her angel; sent to save her lonely soul. To Tabby, Cora was her mother.
Tabby left home to work in Gatherton castle when she was but 12; to work in the kitchen. Cora could no longer care for her. She broke her hip in a fall and never fully recovered. Tabby was more than willing to help with the hopes that; one day she may make a better living for them both. She knew she could never hope to marry well and was determine to save as much as she could.
In her youth, Tabby and Malcolm played together often outside of the castle. She was never allowed to play with him any other time. Malcolm was always kind to her and never cared about wealth or lineage. When he left to foster her heart broke into a thousand pieces. The day he returned was one of celebration and joy but she was not allowed to partake in it. Now twenty and one; every girl and most women couldn't ignore that he was devilishly handsome. Every mother put their daughters before him in the hopes that he would marry one of them. She became a shadow to him as if he did not know her anymore and it hurt deeply. Her days became repetitive and empty. She passed him many times, serve him food, but he never took his eye off of his food or other guest. Never once did he look her way. Only a polite thank you or that will be all…nothing more.
Tabby could have never imagined in her dreams that he would look as he did the first day he returned with half of the Duke's army at his command. He rode in on a black beast that was magnificent but it was Malcolm that stole her breath away. Hair as black as raven's wings curled again the dampness of his sun kissed skin. Malcolm was no longer the skinny boy she remembered but beneath is damp tunic was body built for battle, lethal like a predator. He towered over most of his men as he dismounted. His blue trousers fit him like a second skin showing every muscle in his powerful thighs as he marched right pass her. This was not the boy that left her but a man in every way. Malcolm was a beautiful child but now he was a manifestation of everything male. He stalked toward the castle with purpose. His smoky gray eyes never once looked her way as he called out commands to his knights. "Mcclain see to the men I have to see my father now." She wanted to call out to him; but she knew things were different. He was a son of a Duke and this man did not know she existed anymore. She meant nothing to him.
Tabby kept her heart's desires a secret for she knew if found out she would no longer be permitted to work in Gatherton Castle. Malcolm was seen less and less in the castle most days. He was learning everything there was to know about his people. He also did things for the King but no one knew what exactly. The Dukedom would someday be his to control. Tabby missed him so deeply it made her heart bleed just to see him go. He was the only friend that she ever had. First it was days but the last time he left he was away a fortnight. When he returned to the castle his behavior was very strange as if he was uneasy about something. He would leave under the cover of darkness. He never took men with him and never left out of the front gates. "I have to know where you're going Malcolm. Who are you now?" a question that left her wanting."
This night like many before it was the same; Malcolm approached on horseback like a phantom through the mist. Tabby still did not know why he came to this place every night for the past few months but tonight she would find out. The marsh was three miles outside of Gatherton. No one ever venture into the marsh at night alone it wasn't safe; especially for a woman…at least the smart ones. Something splashed into the water next to Tabby scaring her senseless. "Oh my…oh" She screamed out as she falls back into the mud. "Great now what am I to do? " The cold mud slides through her fingers as she tries to right herself. "Who's there; show yourself." Malcolm's deep voice rumbles through the darkness. Tabby doesn't move as fear and longing soaks into her bone deep. "Please no Malcolm don't find me like this…" Sudden footfalls in her direction make her want to run but he would catch for sure; That would mean no job, not food, and starvation. Suddenly this did not feel like such a great idea anymore. Just as all seemed lost and Tabby readied her tongue to lie for her life; a soft, very feminine voice calls out to Malcolm. "Malcolm there is no need to worry yourself. There are many things that move through the marsh at night, it's probably a frog. Stop worrying so we are safe here." Tabby could feel her heart hammering in her throat. "But I'm sure I heard a voice call out, my lady." He hesitates and she prays he will listen to...her. The soft breeze carries his scent across the marsh to her, he is near. She was sure he would hear her heart raging in her chest as it threatened to shatter all over again. Still she could not stop her senses from enveloping his essence. "We really need to move out of this marsh, you know. It's too close to the village. I can't let anyone see me come here." He laughs as he walk away; she dare not move. Relief floods her senses causing her to take a much needed breath. "I can't keep this up but I must know; who is she and who is she to him?" Up until this night she never heard a word from the person inside of the small cottage, only soft light and shadows dancing through the window. This night was worth almost being caught but deep inside did she really want to know who the voice belong to. She would wait and watch because turning away now was something she could not do.
Something deep inside drove her here every night. Her mind knew it was stupidity but her heart would not relent. "I can't believe I'm sitting here, in the cold muddy marsh instead of my bed. Tabby he doesn't want you. Why are you following him like this? He doesn't even know you exist anymore." she tried to reason with herself to no avail. She knew she would be back again at the same time tomorrow if that meant finally resolving herself…her feelings…to what end. She knew she was no one and he was the future Duke of Gatherton. "Tabby this is truly nonsense. Even if Malcolm wanted you; the Earl would never allow it."
The hours passed by and nothing. The chill in the air and things moving in the dark finally gave way to reason. Hot tears of humiliation and clarity finally brought Tabby to her feet to leave. "This is lunacy; I'm leaving. He's probably making love to her now. Tabby you're so stupid. Just let go of him...wait...you never had him; he will never me yours."
Tabby was lost in her thoughts during the long trek back to her village, when a low growl broke through the eerie silence of the moon lit night. The breeze made the trees whisper which normally brought her comfort but she knew it wasn't a the leaves that she heard. Walking faster keeping to the shadows; she was almost there. She knew not to look back but her reason did not agree with her fear. Pulling her hood down and gathering her cloak around her; she crouched behind a tree. "Please let me make it to the tavern outside of town and I'll never do this again." She was so close to the main road but she knew as she breath that she would never make it. Just as she made to run for it. "Don't move or I will slit your throat wench."