Toby approached me slowly. Whatever he had to tell me was making me nervous. I could hear my phone vibrating in my purse, but I ignored it because he asked me to. That, and the crazed look in his eyes. I squirmed anxiously against the uncomfortable chem table, waiting for the moment when he'd be standing in front of me.
"I'm sorry if I'm scaring you, Emily. You should know that's not my intention."
"Then what is your intention?" I asked, warily.
"You're confused, and I just want to talk to you, to somehow convince you that you didn't come to homecoming with the wrong person. That you could be happy with me. That you make me feel happy."
He was so close now that I could smell his cologne. He was trying to impress me in so many ways, and as much as I wanted to deny my feelings, to remember what I promised Maya, I think it was working. I was impressed. I did like him. And Maya. And maybe, he could help me figure out how I truly felt about them both. That was what he was offering, wasn't it?
"I don't know what you want me to say, or do," I told him.
"I like you, Em. You are so unique, and beautiful. You gave me a chance—didn't judge me like everyone else. You're just-"
"Different," I offered. He nodded knowingly.
I stared at my hands when I spoke. "I like you too, Toby." When I looked him, he was smiling. He was so handsome when he smiled. He looked almost normal, less sinister or broody.
"But I'm confused about…myself," I continued. "I don't know who I like more, and I don't want to hurt you like I hurt Maya."
"You won't," he murmured.
I looked up at him. "You don't know that."
"Are you at least willing to give me a try?" he asked.
I nodded slowly, unsure but willing, and he, just as slowly, moved towards me, backing me into the table, closing the space between us and caressing my cheek. My heart was racing at the proximity, the way he smelled, the intensity in his eyes, his pouty lips. His lips.
"May I?" he asked so sweetly that I couldn't deny him. I nodded again.
His lips touched mine. He was a perfect gentleman, romantic and tender, and coercive still. His hands ended up in my hair, holding my head to his as he kissed me deeply. I was surprised that my own hand came up to his waist to pull him closer to me.
I didn't know how long we stood there, but by the time we separated, I was sitting on top of the table, his hands were now on top of my hips, and he was embracing me, warm and calm.
"Whatever you choose, I'll understand. We can be friends," he whispered to me, kissing the top of my head.
"I choose you," I said. He pulled away and looked at me incredulously. And then his expression softened, and he grinned.
"I think we could still catch the movie. Would you want to go? With me?"
"I'd like that," I replied, taking his hand.
He pulled me into another embrace before walking out hand in hand. Only after we left did I realize I'd left my purse in the lab, my cell phone probably still vibrating away. But I didn't care to find out what Aria had to tell me.
Tonight, I didn't want to think about A, or Maya, or any of the theories the girls would come up with about Toby. Tonight, I'd be thinking about somebody else's feelings for once. Mine.