Oh… you speak German and English only, you say? My apologies. I am not quite proficient in German, but I am willing to make a sacrifice for such a maiden as you- even though it does sound grating in my ears.

Are you lost, fair lady? I must admit, you look quite flustered. But fear not, for you are looking at one of the best tour guides in Paris! Now, may I ask your destination?

Ah, the palace of Versailles. A mighty fine place to visit! I remember the time when nobles used to inhabit those magnificent quarters, feasting banquets upon banquets as the Third Class starved. But of course, I shouldn't have been born at that time, so pardon me for rambling like I attended said feasts! I should not be talking about this. Let's focus on the map, oui?

First of all, I have to kindly remind you the map is upside down. Let us flip it up, and now, as you can see, we are rather far from Versailles. So far away, as proven by the little dot that is Versailles up there! It would be of greatest shame that I let a woman of stately stature muddle through the streets of Paris without help, but fortunately for you, I am one of the most prestigious tour guides in this fabulous city. Why don't we talk while we walk? I assure you, it will be less ennuyeux. More interesting, if you will.

Currently, you are walking through a relatively un-famous street in Paris. However, this street does have its perks! Unlike the crowded Versailles, this place is not clogged up with many tourists. To your right is a canary shop. So you like canaries too? I remember obtaining one at this very same spot. I think I called him Pierre trois? Or was it Pierre quatre? Either way, I have forgotten. Let us move on. You are now passing a sports shop. It is not quite to my taste, I'm afraid, but if it is still operating, it means people pay for their merchandise. Do you like sports?

How elegant of you! I do prefer the same as well. However, we must be careful not the wander off the sidewalk while talking. Please keep in mind cars do not make way for us.

What that is, you ask? Oh, just bâtiments and such. Apartments for people to live in. Not every building is a tourist hotspot, you know! It must feel cramped living in that one, but Paris does have more than two million people, so we do have to conserve space.

We're coming up to the bridge. Do be careful, ma cherie. It would be a pity for such a well dressed woman like you to fall into the water. My, your clothes would be absolutely ruined! The waters of la Seine are unforgivingly dirty. I suppose you would find it similar to your Rhine in your country L'Allemagne?

You live in Austria, you say! Remarkable that I have not noticed the difference. Austrian German is different, after all. I have a friend of mine that lives in Berlin, although he calls himself 'Prussian', not German. Quite ambitious, non? That name is not to be said lightly. It is astonishing how much people can get away with these days.

We are fast approaching Versailles now. We will arrive quite soon, in fifteen minutes, in fact, if I am not mistaken. However, we might want to stop at a pâtisserie to take a break. I know an excellent one just around the corner. Look, we've reached it! Beautiful, is it not? The decor is lovely, and so are the owners of the shop. Let us enter!

There are a extensive selection of pastries and baked goods to choose from. There are some éclairs over at the corner, as well as various flavours of cupcakes and macarons. There are even bagels and scones- finer than those made in any other country. I assure you, the taste of these foods will be much better than those across the channel.

Ah! This week's special is a classic brioche! This is quite reminiscent of when last queen of France told the Third Class to eat cake, which ultimately brought more rage from the lower classes. Nowadays, we would have used the word gâteau, but-

Are you alright, ma cherie? You are trembling, and your face is pale- not a pretty sight for such a charming woman.

Don't remind you? Perhaps you- my lady!

Here, here, let me help you up- silly me, I forgot to ask your name.

Mari-a? A name appropriate a fine young woman like you. Up you go, Marie. Don't worry. Let the words flow out of your lips and do the talking while I secure a table.

I see. Do not fear, dear. Your Louis isn't here. You live in Austria, remember? I do not think there is a Louis there.

In the end, nightmares are just those- nightmares. The cloaked crowd you call the Third Class? Not present in this reality. They is not here, Marie. He only exists in your mind. And the guillotine? Unreal. All is right, my dear, and no, I hold no grudge to you.

Let us start over, shall we? You are a Austrian tourist named Marie, and I am a local tour guide that sees you wandering around near a pâtisserie, lost. Okay?

Oh? my name?

You need not ask, my lady. I am just an ambiguous tour guide, wandering the streets of Paris.