A/N Read it first; I'll explain at the end.
I doubt Snape and Lily ever dated. I'm not sure he would have had the courage to try; I doubt that she ever had eyes for anyone but James. But I think she must have understood him. I think that's where the attraction must have lain. I don't see Snape as the Malfoy type. I doubt he'd be teaching at Hogwarts if he had a rich, powerful family like that. I'll bet he was something of a loner. The proficiency at Potions, a subject taught in cold and lonely dungeons seem to suggest a separation in his sadness. I doubt even the Slytherins liked him that much.
Maybe it was his lack of friends that made him want to succeed so badly and that made the rivalry with James all the more hurtful as time after time he lost in subjects, in Quidditch, in Lily most important of all, for she understood him-she was a loner, too.
I imagine Snape's being quite cruel to her because of this. I also imagine her bearing it all in silence simple because she had experienced what he had felt. Ordinary Muggles don't get into Hogwarts, after all. And he knows that she knows and it brings out the most passionate of conflicting desires. His desperation for her to tell him she understands. To finally escape the crushing loneliness through the acknowledgement that someone else feels it, too. The fear of her power over him. She could betray his greatest, most secret weakness to everyone, especially to James. Being lonely is bad enough without other people rubbing it in. The fear became almost violent before the two had an understanding, a pact of solidarity. And he loved her for her voice, her compassion, her forgiveness. He loved her for her silent insistence that he had something beautiful to give.
But not to her. No, she belonged to James, always had. Snape knew her worth long before James ever condescended to the mortal plane to take away his beautiful Lily, to kill her and leave him alone fifteen years later teaching the boy he had desperately wanted to be his own son.
A/N That didn't make any sense. It wasn't supposed to. It was based on a dream I had. There wasn't much of a plot (Snape's flashback of Lily's helping him pick up papers he had dropped in the hallway) so I just tried to write down the feelings the two were broadcasting during the dream.
To clarify, I don't really think that Lily was really lonely at Hogwarts, but I think that she had some experience with it in the Muggle world, which made it easy for her to identify loneliness in Snape. Cases could be made against lots of things in this not-fic :) I encourage discussion!
Ok, so the A/N was as long as the story :) Thanks for reading! Review if you like-I've firewalked-your flames can't hurt me!
I doubt Snape and Lily ever dated. I'm not sure he would have had the courage to try; I doubt that she ever had eyes for anyone but James. But I think she must have understood him. I think that's where the attraction must have lain. I don't see Snape as the Malfoy type. I doubt he'd be teaching at Hogwarts if he had a rich, powerful family like that. I'll bet he was something of a loner. The proficiency at Potions, a subject taught in cold and lonely dungeons seem to suggest a separation in his sadness. I doubt even the Slytherins liked him that much.
Maybe it was his lack of friends that made him want to succeed so badly and that made the rivalry with James all the more hurtful as time after time he lost in subjects, in Quidditch, in Lily most important of all, for she understood him-she was a loner, too.
I imagine Snape's being quite cruel to her because of this. I also imagine her bearing it all in silence simple because she had experienced what he had felt. Ordinary Muggles don't get into Hogwarts, after all. And he knows that she knows and it brings out the most passionate of conflicting desires. His desperation for her to tell him she understands. To finally escape the crushing loneliness through the acknowledgement that someone else feels it, too. The fear of her power over him. She could betray his greatest, most secret weakness to everyone, especially to James. Being lonely is bad enough without other people rubbing it in. The fear became almost violent before the two had an understanding, a pact of solidarity. And he loved her for her voice, her compassion, her forgiveness. He loved her for her silent insistence that he had something beautiful to give.
But not to her. No, she belonged to James, always had. Snape knew her worth long before James ever condescended to the mortal plane to take away his beautiful Lily, to kill her and leave him alone fifteen years later teaching the boy he had desperately wanted to be his own son.
A/N That didn't make any sense. It wasn't supposed to. It was based on a dream I had. There wasn't much of a plot (Snape's flashback of Lily's helping him pick up papers he had dropped in the hallway) so I just tried to write down the feelings the two were broadcasting during the dream.
To clarify, I don't really think that Lily was really lonely at Hogwarts, but I think that she had some experience with it in the Muggle world, which made it easy for her to identify loneliness in Snape. Cases could be made against lots of things in this not-fic :) I encourage discussion!
Ok, so the A/N was as long as the story :) Thanks for reading! Review if you like-I've firewalked-your flames can't hurt me!