Chapter 1 "Getting Ready"
Harry Ron and Hermione were walking back to Gryffindor concert when Ginny ran out of the portrait hole screaming "AREOSMITH,MADONNA,EMINEM,THE GOO GOO DOLLS,THE OSBOURNES,MISSY ELLIOT,NO DOUBT,BUSH,AND NIRVANA ARE COMING TO HOGWARTS FOR A CONCERT TONIGHT!OZZY AND KELLY OSBOURNE ARE GONNA SING!KURT COBAIN AND GAVIN ROSDALE ARE SOOOO HOT!"
Hermione hears and jumps up and down screaming "OH MY GOD!KURT COBAIN IS SOOOOO HOT!AND SO IS GAVIN ROSDALE!" She stops and thinks for a minute....."Ginny?Kurt Cobain has been dead since like....1994 or 1993.How can Nirvana come to Hogwarts without Kurt Cobain?" By this time Harry and Ron are staring at Hermione like she's a fruit cake.Then Ginny said"Well...Dumbledore used a time turner and went back to when Nirvana was really big,like in 1987 and brought the guys here."Hermione starts jumping up and down.
"YEAY!AREOSMITH,NIRVANA,NO DOUBT,BUSH,EMINEM,MADONNA,THE GOO GOO DOLLS AND MISSY ELLIOT AND THE OSBOURNESARE COMING TO HOGWARTS TONIGHT!"
Harry says"Hermione?Will you help me make a potion?I wanna look like Kurt Cobain!"Harry liked Ginny and hoped she would really like him alot if he looked like Kurt Cobain."Ok fine but after I make me a potion to look like Gwen Stefani." Ron hears that and since he likes Hermione and wants her to like him..."Hermione?WIll you make me look like Gavin Rosdale?"Hermione says "Sure!" And Ginny is still jumping up and down excitedly."Come on Ginny Let's go make potions!"They run of to make all the postions.
2 hours later.1 hour till concert.In Myrtles' Loo
Harry,Ron,Hermione and Ginny sit in Moaning Myrtles' Bathroom while getting ready to drink the potion.Ginny had simply died her hair black and pink and Hermione had done her make-up and she looked exactly like Kelly Osbourne.Harry thought she looked gorgeous.He really liked Kelly Osbourne.
Apparently,so did Moaning Myrtle.They could here her singing "Papa don't preach!I'm in truble deep!Papa don't preach!I'm in lunacy!But I've made up my minde!I'm keepin my baby!Whoa ho!I'm gonna keep my baby!"
Ron had finally lost it and said "Myrtle!Shut the Bloody Hell up!" Myrtle then said "Shut up!Blah blah!Blah blah blah blah blah blah!That's what it sounds like you said to me!"Harry was crakin up.Ginny was giggling and Hermione was mixing the potion."I think it's ready."She poured it into three glasses and everyone went into a stall except for Ginny who stood at the sink and waited for them."Oy!Hurry up!"Just then.Harry came out of his stall.He looked alot like Kurt but not exactly."Oh my god!Harry!Look at you!" Ron came out and then Hermione.Hermione looked like Gwen and Ron like Gavin."Let's go!"Ginny squealed.She grabbed Harry's hand and Hermione grabbed Ron's.They ran out of the bathroom and Myrtle followed still singing.
Chapter 2 "We'll Be Here A While"
They ran to the great hall and found they were early.They ran to the stage that Dumbledore had put up and waited for the concert to begin.Lot's of students came in.Harry read the sign aloud that said wich band was performing at what time.The sign said:
5:30-Missy Elliot
5:55-Eminem
7:30-Madonna
9:00-The Goo Goo Dolls
10:30-No Doubt +Bounty Killa and Lady Saw
12:30-Bush
1:00-Nirvana
2:00-Areosmith
3:00-The Rolling Stones
4:00-The Red Hot Chilli Peppers
4:25-The Osbournes
Ron said"Well!We'll certainly be here quit a while."Hermione and Ginny giggled"It's 5:30!"
Chapter 3 "The Show Is Starting!"
The Great Hall was now full and the lights went out.Out came Missy Elliot from behind a curtain.(oh yeah everyone was either muggle-dressed or dressed like one of the people performing tonight)She said"How yall doin!"Then she started to sing Work It:
DJ please
Pick up your phone
I'm on the request line[Scratching]
This is a Missy Elliott one time exclusive
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
I'd like to get to know ya, so I can show ya
Put the pussy on ya, like I told ya
Gimmie all your numbers so I can phone ya
Your girl acting stank then call me ova
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Call before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don't or you will or you won't cha
Go downtown and eat it like a vulcha
See my hips and my tips don't cha
See my ass and my lips don't cha
Lost a few pounds in my whiffs for ya
This the kinda beat that go bha ta ta
Ra ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta
Sex me so good I say blah blah blah
Work it, I need a glass of wata
Boy oh boy its good to know ya
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
If you're a fly gyal, then get your nails done
Get a pedicure, get your hair did
Boy lift it up, lets make a toasta
Lets get drunk, its gon bring us closa
Don't I look like a Halle Berry posta?
See dem Belvedere playin tricks on ya
Girlfriend wanna be like me neva
You won't find a bitch that's even betta
I make it hot as Las Vegas weatha
Listen up close while I take you backwards
(Watch the way Missy like to take it backwards)*Backwards*
I'm not a prostitute but I can give you whatchu want
I love your braids and your mouth full of funk
Love the way my ass bump bump bump bump bump bump
Keep your eyes on my bump bump bump bump bump
And think you can handle this ga-dunk ga-dunk dunk
Take my thong off and my ass go boom
Cut the lights off so you see what I can do
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
Boys, boys, all type of boys
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys
???? thanga thang, ???? thanga thang
Girls, girls, get that cash
If its not a foul shakin that ass
Ain't no shame ladies, do your thang
Just make sure you ahead of tha game
Just cuz I got a lot of fame supa
Prince couldn't get me change my name howpa
Kunta Kinte, enslave a game, no se
Picture black sayin oh yesa massa
I drive a lamberguini so I drive fasta
Minute man big red can outlast ya
Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya
When I come out, you won't even matta
Why you act dumb like ughhh, duh
So you act dumb like ughhh, duh
And the drummer boy go pa rum pum pum pum
Give ya some some, some of this in a bun
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
To my fellas, ooooh
Good God, I like the way you work that
[scratching]
To my ladies, woo
You sure know how to work that, good God
While she was singing Snape was singing along with her until someone finaly yelled"SHUT UP YOU!"And he stopped.
Next,Eminem came on singing lose yourself "You better lose yourself the moment you own it better never ever let it go!You only get this one shot it's your chance to blow!This opportunitey comes once in a life time yo!"Ahter he finished that he sang I'm Sorry Mama.Then he sang Geuss Whos Back."Two Trailer park girls go round me outside.Rounde me outside.Round me outside..."Snape wasn't in the room.
Chapter 4 "More Music"
When Eminem finished Madonna came on,she sang Die Another Day and by the time she finished it Snape was back and wearing an 80's Madonna outfit.Skirt and all.Madonna started to sing Material Girl and Snape started head boppin and singing along.Harry was staring at Ginny and Ron at Hermione.After 10 minutes Ron kissed Hermione and Harry kissed Ginny.Snape got on stage during Like a Virgin and roled around on the floor untill Fred and George came onstage and rolled him off.
Then,The Goo Goo Dolls came on and started to do Boradway when Professor Trealawney said"I am not a crook!"Doin the hand thing and passed out.Johnny Rezsneck sang I'm Still Here and they did Iris and finished with Slide.
Then,No Doubt went on.Everyone strted to jump with Gwen and sing along woth her,Hermione and Ginny went especialy crazy when Adrian started walking around on stage in a g-string.During Making Out Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Harry were making out and Snape was jumping up and down in a straight jacket.During Underneath it All everyone (yes Snape too)was singing along.
There's times where I want something more
Someone more like me
There's times when this dress rehearsal
Seems incomplete
But, you see the colors in me like no one else
And behind your dark glasses you're...
You're something else
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
You know some real bad tricks
And you need some discipline
But, lately you've been trying real hard
And giving me your best
And, you give me the most gorgeous sleep
That I've ever had
And when it's really bad
I guess it's not that bad
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
So many moons that we have seen
Stumbling back next to me
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
Better... better...
Then,Lady Saw came on.
You are my real Prince Charmin'
Like the heat from the fire
You were always burnin'
And each time you're around
My body keeps stalin'
For your touch
Your kisses and your sweet romancin'
There's an underside to you
That so many adore
Aside from your temper
Everything else secure
You're good for me, baby
Oh that, I'm sure
Over and over again
I want more
Back to Gwen.
You've used up all your coupons
And all you've got left is me
And somehow I'm full of forgiveness
I guess it's meant to be
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lovely
Underneath it all
And you're really lovely
Ginny looked over at Harry and kissed him.Hermione looked over at Ron and kissed him.Snape,well,he was lookin at Adrean walkin around on stage in his g-string.Then he screamed"Take it off hottie!".Adrean looked at him and said "I'm married and I'm not gay!"Then,Tom started to strum his guitar like the beginning of Just A Girl and Gwen started to say,"For all my girls out there!I want you to repeat after me!I'm just a girl!"Then every girl in the audiance said "I'm just a girl!"The second time,Snape was in drag(once again)and he said it with the girls"I'm Just a Girl!"and all of the guys said"Snapes not a girl!"Then,Gwen said"Whatcha lookin at?"to everyone in the audiance.Tom continues to play.Gwen says"You lookin at me?"and starts to do push ups on stage.Then she sings.
'Cause I'm just a girl.
I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive
Late at night
I'm just a girl,
Guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes
I'm just a girl.
Take a good looks at me
Just your typical prototype
Oh...I've had it up to here!
Oh...am I making myself clear?
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world...
That's all that you'll let me be!
I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Make me worry some
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to
Is making me numb
I'm just a girl. my apologies
What I've becocme is burdensome
I'm just a girl. lucky me
Twiddle-dum there's no camparison
Oh...I've had it up to!
Oh...I've had it up to!!
Oh...I've had it up to here.
(oh yeah!Did I menchine everyone else in the band was playing there instrumints while Gwen sang?)The,she sang Artaficial Sweetner.Then Bush came on and the crowd went wild.Snape said "GO Gavin!Go Gavin!"Until everyone turned to look at him and yelled "SHUT UP!"Gaven sang 'The Chemicals Between Us'.Then,he sang 'The Things We Do to the People That We Love'.By the time Bush finished Ron and Hermione were making out and so was Ginny and Harry.
Chapter 5 "Blast from the Grunge Past"
Then,a booming voice came on."Attention Hogwarts students!We have the great honor of the next band coming to perform for us.All the way from 1988!Please welcome!Nirvana!" Then,a blonde guy,and two brunette guys came on and started to play Smells Like Teen Spirit.Everyone was so excited that people started screaming!
Load up on guns and bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word
Hello, hello, hello, how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?
Hello, hello, hello!
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yay!Yay!Yay!
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?
Hello, hello, hello!
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
Yay!Yay!Yay!
And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Hello, hello, hello, how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?
Hello, hello, hello!
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
A denial !!A denial!!A denial!A denial!A denial!A danial!Adenial!A denial!A denial!
Then, they did Heart Shaped Box.
She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back (Alt: ... when you turn black)
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait! (Alt: Hate! Haight!)
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice
Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath
Broken hymen of your highness I'm left black
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice
She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back (Alt: ... when you turn black)
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice,Your advice,Your advice
Then,they did All Apolagies and Come as You Are and a whole bunch of there other stuff.When they finished they walked off-stage and Ginny jumped on Kurt and then Christ and then Dave and kissed them all and got there autographs,said thanks and went to meet Hermione and the guys.
Chapter 6 "Aerosmith"
When Nirvana was done,there was another anouncement."Attenction all students!I am proud to present,Aerosmtih!"Everyone cheered.The opening chords to Walk This Way began to play:
backstroke lover always hidin' 'neath the covers
till I talked to your daddy, he say
he said "you ain't seen nothin' till you're down on a muffin
then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways"
I met a cheerleader, was a real young bleeder
oh, the times I could reminisce
'cause the best things of lovin' with her sister and her cousin
only started with a little kiss
like this!
seesaw swingin' with the boys in the school
and your feet flyin' up in the air
singin' "hey diddle diddle"
with your kitty in the middle of the swing
like you didn't care
so I took a big chance at the high school dance
with a missy who was ready to play
wasn't me she was foolin'
'cause she knew what she was doin'
and I knowed love was here to stay
when she told me to
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
just gimme a kiss
like this!
schoolgirl sweetie with a classy kinda sassy
little skirt's climbin' way up the knee
there was three young ladies in the school gym locker
when I noticed they was lookin' at me
I was a high school loser, never made it with a lady
till the boys told me somethin' I missed
then my next door neighbor with a daughter had a favor
so I gave her just a little kiss
like this!
seesaw swingin' with the boys in the school
and your feet flyin' up in the air
singin' "hey diddle diddle"
with your kitty in the middle of the swing
like you didn't care
so I took a big chance at the high school dance
with a missy who was ready to play
wasn't me she was foolin'
'cause she knew what she was doin'
when she told me how to walk this way, she told me to
walk this way, talk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, talk this way
just gimme a kiss
like this!
After that they sang Jaded,Don't wanna miss a thing,Dude Looks Like a Lady(during wich Snape danced around in drag),Janies Got a Gun and Love in the Elevator.
Chapter 7 "The Rolling Stones"
Well,after that the anouncers'(A/N:Sorry if he's bugging you)voice came back on"Now!Here's The Rolling Stones!"The beginning of Start Me Up started to play:
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
I've been running hot
You got me ticking gonna blow my top
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
You make a grown man cry
Spread out the oil, the gasoline
I walk smooth, ride in a mean, mean machine
Start it up
If you start it up
Kick on the starter give it all you got, you got, you got
I can't compete with the riders in the other heats
If you rough it up
If you like it you can slide it up, slide it up
Don't make a grown man cry
My eyes dilate, my lips go green
My hands are greasy
She's a mean, mean machine
Start it up
If start me up
Give it all you got
You got to never, never, never stop
Never, never
Slide it up
You make a grown man cry
Ride like the wind at double speed
I'll take you places that you've never, never seen
Start it up
Love the day when we will never stop, never stop
Never stop, never stop
Tough me up
Never stop, never stop, never stop
You, you, you make a grown man cry
You, you make a dead man cum
You, you make a dead man cum
After that,they did Satisfaction,Brown Sugar,Miss You and Angie.They did other songs,too.Then Mick Jagger said"Thank you!"and he and the rest of the band got off stage.
Chapter 8 "Red Hot Chilli Peppers"
Then,the annoucer's voice said"Here's the Red Hot Chilli Peppers!"They did two songs.The first was The Zephry Song:
Can I get your hand to write on
Just a piece of lead to bite on
What am I to fly my kite on
Do you want to flash your light on
Take a look its on display - for you
Coming down no not today
Did you meet your fortune teller
Get it off with no propellor
Do it up it's always stellar
What a way to finally smell her
Pick it up it's not to strong - for you
Take a piece and pass it on
Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
Fly on my wing
Riddlin on liberator
Find a way to be a skater
Rev it up to levitator
Super mainly aviator
Take a look its on display - for you
Coming down no not today
Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
In the water where the scent of my emotion
All the world will pass me by
Fly away on my Zephyr
We'll find a place together
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - do you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - won't you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
In the water where the scent of my emotion
All the world will pass me by
Fly away on my Zephyr
We're gonna live forever
Forever
Then,they did Bye The Way.Everybody Clapped.Ginny and Harry weren't snogging for the time being.Neither were Ron and Hermione.
Chapter 10 "The Osbournes"
The annoucers voice was back on "Now,Ozzy Osbourne!" and everyone clapped and cheered.Ozzy came out and started to sing:
Crazy,but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate
Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeh-h
Heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something that just isn't fair
Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
(A/N:Have you ever heard the Crazy Train cellphone ring?It is soo cool!)Then,he sang some other songs and about 30 minutes later,Ozzy left the stage and on the side of the stage was Sharon and Jack Osbourne.Then,the announcer said "Our final performer will be,Kelly Osbourne!"Kelly walked onstage and her band started to play Papa Don't Preach:
Papa I know you're going to be upset
'Cause I was always your little girl
But you should know by now
I'm not a baby
You always taught me right from wrong
I need your help, daddy please be strong
I may be young at heart
But I know what I'm saying
The one you warned me all about
The one you said I could do without
We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe - please
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby
He says that he's going to marry me
We can raise a little family
Maybe we'll be all right
It's a sacrifice
But my friends keep telling me to give it up
Saying I'm too young, I ought to live it up
What I need right now is some good advice, please
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby
Daddy, daddy if you could only see
Just how good he's been treating me
You'd give us your blessing right now
'Cause we are in love, we are in love, so please
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
Oh, I'm gonna keep my baby, ooh
Don't stop loving me daddy
I know, I'm keeping my baby
Everyone clapped and cheered.Kelly sang Shut Up and then she jupped off stage.
Chapter 11 "The End"
The concert was over and everyone was tired and happy.The prefects lead everyone to there towers or dngeons(A/N:*cough*evil Slytherines*cough*).Everybody had an autograph from someone.As they got to the staircasses of Gryffindor Common Room,Harry and Ginny said good night and went up to bed.So did Ron and Hermione.They all agreed that that was one of the greatest Hogwarts memories.
Harry Ron and Hermione were walking back to Gryffindor concert when Ginny ran out of the portrait hole screaming "AREOSMITH,MADONNA,EMINEM,THE GOO GOO DOLLS,THE OSBOURNES,MISSY ELLIOT,NO DOUBT,BUSH,AND NIRVANA ARE COMING TO HOGWARTS FOR A CONCERT TONIGHT!OZZY AND KELLY OSBOURNE ARE GONNA SING!KURT COBAIN AND GAVIN ROSDALE ARE SOOOO HOT!"
Hermione hears and jumps up and down screaming "OH MY GOD!KURT COBAIN IS SOOOOO HOT!AND SO IS GAVIN ROSDALE!" She stops and thinks for a minute....."Ginny?Kurt Cobain has been dead since like....1994 or 1993.How can Nirvana come to Hogwarts without Kurt Cobain?" By this time Harry and Ron are staring at Hermione like she's a fruit cake.Then Ginny said"Well...Dumbledore used a time turner and went back to when Nirvana was really big,like in 1987 and brought the guys here."Hermione starts jumping up and down.
"YEAY!AREOSMITH,NIRVANA,NO DOUBT,BUSH,EMINEM,MADONNA,THE GOO GOO DOLLS AND MISSY ELLIOT AND THE OSBOURNESARE COMING TO HOGWARTS TONIGHT!"
Harry says"Hermione?Will you help me make a potion?I wanna look like Kurt Cobain!"Harry liked Ginny and hoped she would really like him alot if he looked like Kurt Cobain."Ok fine but after I make me a potion to look like Gwen Stefani." Ron hears that and since he likes Hermione and wants her to like him..."Hermione?WIll you make me look like Gavin Rosdale?"Hermione says "Sure!" And Ginny is still jumping up and down excitedly."Come on Ginny Let's go make potions!"They run of to make all the postions.
2 hours later.1 hour till concert.In Myrtles' Loo
Harry,Ron,Hermione and Ginny sit in Moaning Myrtles' Bathroom while getting ready to drink the potion.Ginny had simply died her hair black and pink and Hermione had done her make-up and she looked exactly like Kelly Osbourne.Harry thought she looked gorgeous.He really liked Kelly Osbourne.
Apparently,so did Moaning Myrtle.They could here her singing "Papa don't preach!I'm in truble deep!Papa don't preach!I'm in lunacy!But I've made up my minde!I'm keepin my baby!Whoa ho!I'm gonna keep my baby!"
Ron had finally lost it and said "Myrtle!Shut the Bloody Hell up!" Myrtle then said "Shut up!Blah blah!Blah blah blah blah blah blah!That's what it sounds like you said to me!"Harry was crakin up.Ginny was giggling and Hermione was mixing the potion."I think it's ready."She poured it into three glasses and everyone went into a stall except for Ginny who stood at the sink and waited for them."Oy!Hurry up!"Just then.Harry came out of his stall.He looked alot like Kurt but not exactly."Oh my god!Harry!Look at you!" Ron came out and then Hermione.Hermione looked like Gwen and Ron like Gavin."Let's go!"Ginny squealed.She grabbed Harry's hand and Hermione grabbed Ron's.They ran out of the bathroom and Myrtle followed still singing.
Chapter 2 "We'll Be Here A While"
They ran to the great hall and found they were early.They ran to the stage that Dumbledore had put up and waited for the concert to begin.Lot's of students came in.Harry read the sign aloud that said wich band was performing at what time.The sign said:
5:30-Missy Elliot
5:55-Eminem
7:30-Madonna
9:00-The Goo Goo Dolls
10:30-No Doubt +Bounty Killa and Lady Saw
12:30-Bush
1:00-Nirvana
2:00-Areosmith
3:00-The Rolling Stones
4:00-The Red Hot Chilli Peppers
4:25-The Osbournes
Ron said"Well!We'll certainly be here quit a while."Hermione and Ginny giggled"It's 5:30!"
Chapter 3 "The Show Is Starting!"
The Great Hall was now full and the lights went out.Out came Missy Elliot from behind a curtain.(oh yeah everyone was either muggle-dressed or dressed like one of the people performing tonight)She said"How yall doin!"Then she started to sing Work It:
DJ please
Pick up your phone
I'm on the request line[Scratching]
This is a Missy Elliott one time exclusive
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
I'd like to get to know ya, so I can show ya
Put the pussy on ya, like I told ya
Gimmie all your numbers so I can phone ya
Your girl acting stank then call me ova
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Call before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don't or you will or you won't cha
Go downtown and eat it like a vulcha
See my hips and my tips don't cha
See my ass and my lips don't cha
Lost a few pounds in my whiffs for ya
This the kinda beat that go bha ta ta
Ra ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta
Sex me so good I say blah blah blah
Work it, I need a glass of wata
Boy oh boy its good to know ya
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
If you're a fly gyal, then get your nails done
Get a pedicure, get your hair did
Boy lift it up, lets make a toasta
Lets get drunk, its gon bring us closa
Don't I look like a Halle Berry posta?
See dem Belvedere playin tricks on ya
Girlfriend wanna be like me neva
You won't find a bitch that's even betta
I make it hot as Las Vegas weatha
Listen up close while I take you backwards
(Watch the way Missy like to take it backwards)*Backwards*
I'm not a prostitute but I can give you whatchu want
I love your braids and your mouth full of funk
Love the way my ass bump bump bump bump bump bump
Keep your eyes on my bump bump bump bump bump
And think you can handle this ga-dunk ga-dunk dunk
Take my thong off and my ass go boom
Cut the lights off so you see what I can do
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
Boys, boys, all type of boys
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys
???? thanga thang, ???? thanga thang
Girls, girls, get that cash
If its not a foul shakin that ass
Ain't no shame ladies, do your thang
Just make sure you ahead of tha game
Just cuz I got a lot of fame supa
Prince couldn't get me change my name howpa
Kunta Kinte, enslave a game, no se
Picture black sayin oh yesa massa
I drive a lamberguini so I drive fasta
Minute man big red can outlast ya
Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya
When I come out, you won't even matta
Why you act dumb like ughhh, duh
So you act dumb like ughhh, duh
And the drummer boy go pa rum pum pum pum
Give ya some some, some of this in a bun
Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
If you got a big [elephant], let me search it
To find out how hard I gotta work ya
It's (I put thing down, flip and reverse it)
To my fellas, ooooh
Good God, I like the way you work that
[scratching]
To my ladies, woo
You sure know how to work that, good God
While she was singing Snape was singing along with her until someone finaly yelled"SHUT UP YOU!"And he stopped.
Next,Eminem came on singing lose yourself "You better lose yourself the moment you own it better never ever let it go!You only get this one shot it's your chance to blow!This opportunitey comes once in a life time yo!"Ahter he finished that he sang I'm Sorry Mama.Then he sang Geuss Whos Back."Two Trailer park girls go round me outside.Rounde me outside.Round me outside..."Snape wasn't in the room.
Chapter 4 "More Music"
When Eminem finished Madonna came on,she sang Die Another Day and by the time she finished it Snape was back and wearing an 80's Madonna outfit.Skirt and all.Madonna started to sing Material Girl and Snape started head boppin and singing along.Harry was staring at Ginny and Ron at Hermione.After 10 minutes Ron kissed Hermione and Harry kissed Ginny.Snape got on stage during Like a Virgin and roled around on the floor untill Fred and George came onstage and rolled him off.
Then,The Goo Goo Dolls came on and started to do Boradway when Professor Trealawney said"I am not a crook!"Doin the hand thing and passed out.Johnny Rezsneck sang I'm Still Here and they did Iris and finished with Slide.
Then,No Doubt went on.Everyone strted to jump with Gwen and sing along woth her,Hermione and Ginny went especialy crazy when Adrian started walking around on stage in a g-string.During Making Out Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Harry were making out and Snape was jumping up and down in a straight jacket.During Underneath it All everyone (yes Snape too)was singing along.
There's times where I want something more
Someone more like me
There's times when this dress rehearsal
Seems incomplete
But, you see the colors in me like no one else
And behind your dark glasses you're...
You're something else
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
You know some real bad tricks
And you need some discipline
But, lately you've been trying real hard
And giving me your best
And, you give me the most gorgeous sleep
That I've ever had
And when it's really bad
I guess it's not that bad
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
So many moons that we have seen
Stumbling back next to me
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
Better... better...
Then,Lady Saw came on.
You are my real Prince Charmin'
Like the heat from the fire
You were always burnin'
And each time you're around
My body keeps stalin'
For your touch
Your kisses and your sweet romancin'
There's an underside to you
That so many adore
Aside from your temper
Everything else secure
You're good for me, baby
Oh that, I'm sure
Over and over again
I want more
Back to Gwen.
You've used up all your coupons
And all you've got left is me
And somehow I'm full of forgiveness
I guess it's meant to be
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lovely
Underneath it all
And you're really lovely
Ginny looked over at Harry and kissed him.Hermione looked over at Ron and kissed him.Snape,well,he was lookin at Adrean walkin around on stage in his g-string.Then he screamed"Take it off hottie!".Adrean looked at him and said "I'm married and I'm not gay!"Then,Tom started to strum his guitar like the beginning of Just A Girl and Gwen started to say,"For all my girls out there!I want you to repeat after me!I'm just a girl!"Then every girl in the audiance said "I'm just a girl!"The second time,Snape was in drag(once again)and he said it with the girls"I'm Just a Girl!"and all of the guys said"Snapes not a girl!"Then,Gwen said"Whatcha lookin at?"to everyone in the audiance.Tom continues to play.Gwen says"You lookin at me?"and starts to do push ups on stage.Then she sings.
'Cause I'm just a girl.
I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive
Late at night
I'm just a girl,
Guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes
I'm just a girl.
Take a good looks at me
Just your typical prototype
Oh...I've had it up to here!
Oh...am I making myself clear?
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world...
That's all that you'll let me be!
I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Make me worry some
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to
Is making me numb
I'm just a girl. my apologies
What I've becocme is burdensome
I'm just a girl. lucky me
Twiddle-dum there's no camparison
Oh...I've had it up to!
Oh...I've had it up to!!
Oh...I've had it up to here.
(oh yeah!Did I menchine everyone else in the band was playing there instrumints while Gwen sang?)The,she sang Artaficial Sweetner.Then Bush came on and the crowd went wild.Snape said "GO Gavin!Go Gavin!"Until everyone turned to look at him and yelled "SHUT UP!"Gaven sang 'The Chemicals Between Us'.Then,he sang 'The Things We Do to the People That We Love'.By the time Bush finished Ron and Hermione were making out and so was Ginny and Harry.
Chapter 5 "Blast from the Grunge Past"
Then,a booming voice came on."Attention Hogwarts students!We have the great honor of the next band coming to perform for us.All the way from 1988!Please welcome!Nirvana!" Then,a blonde guy,and two brunette guys came on and started to play Smells Like Teen Spirit.Everyone was so excited that people started screaming!
Load up on guns and bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word
Hello, hello, hello, how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?
Hello, hello, hello!
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yay!Yay!Yay!
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?
Hello, hello, hello!
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
Yay!Yay!Yay!
And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Hello, hello, hello, how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?Hello,hello,hello,how low?
Hello, hello, hello!
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
A denial !!A denial!!A denial!A denial!A denial!A danial!Adenial!A denial!A denial!
Then, they did Heart Shaped Box.
She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back (Alt: ... when you turn black)
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait! (Alt: Hate! Haight!)
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice
Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath
Broken hymen of your highness I'm left black
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice
She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back (Alt: ... when you turn black)
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice,Your advice,Your advice
Then,they did All Apolagies and Come as You Are and a whole bunch of there other stuff.When they finished they walked off-stage and Ginny jumped on Kurt and then Christ and then Dave and kissed them all and got there autographs,said thanks and went to meet Hermione and the guys.
Chapter 6 "Aerosmith"
When Nirvana was done,there was another anouncement."Attenction all students!I am proud to present,Aerosmtih!"Everyone cheered.The opening chords to Walk This Way began to play:
backstroke lover always hidin' 'neath the covers
till I talked to your daddy, he say
he said "you ain't seen nothin' till you're down on a muffin
then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways"
I met a cheerleader, was a real young bleeder
oh, the times I could reminisce
'cause the best things of lovin' with her sister and her cousin
only started with a little kiss
like this!
seesaw swingin' with the boys in the school
and your feet flyin' up in the air
singin' "hey diddle diddle"
with your kitty in the middle of the swing
like you didn't care
so I took a big chance at the high school dance
with a missy who was ready to play
wasn't me she was foolin'
'cause she knew what she was doin'
and I knowed love was here to stay
when she told me to
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
just gimme a kiss
like this!
schoolgirl sweetie with a classy kinda sassy
little skirt's climbin' way up the knee
there was three young ladies in the school gym locker
when I noticed they was lookin' at me
I was a high school loser, never made it with a lady
till the boys told me somethin' I missed
then my next door neighbor with a daughter had a favor
so I gave her just a little kiss
like this!
seesaw swingin' with the boys in the school
and your feet flyin' up in the air
singin' "hey diddle diddle"
with your kitty in the middle of the swing
like you didn't care
so I took a big chance at the high school dance
with a missy who was ready to play
wasn't me she was foolin'
'cause she knew what she was doin'
when she told me how to walk this way, she told me to
walk this way, talk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, walk this way
walk this way, talk this way
just gimme a kiss
like this!
After that they sang Jaded,Don't wanna miss a thing,Dude Looks Like a Lady(during wich Snape danced around in drag),Janies Got a Gun and Love in the Elevator.
Chapter 7 "The Rolling Stones"
Well,after that the anouncers'(A/N:Sorry if he's bugging you)voice came back on"Now!Here's The Rolling Stones!"The beginning of Start Me Up started to play:
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
I've been running hot
You got me ticking gonna blow my top
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
You make a grown man cry
Spread out the oil, the gasoline
I walk smooth, ride in a mean, mean machine
Start it up
If you start it up
Kick on the starter give it all you got, you got, you got
I can't compete with the riders in the other heats
If you rough it up
If you like it you can slide it up, slide it up
Don't make a grown man cry
My eyes dilate, my lips go green
My hands are greasy
She's a mean, mean machine
Start it up
If start me up
Give it all you got
You got to never, never, never stop
Never, never
Slide it up
You make a grown man cry
Ride like the wind at double speed
I'll take you places that you've never, never seen
Start it up
Love the day when we will never stop, never stop
Never stop, never stop
Tough me up
Never stop, never stop, never stop
You, you, you make a grown man cry
You, you make a dead man cum
You, you make a dead man cum
After that,they did Satisfaction,Brown Sugar,Miss You and Angie.They did other songs,too.Then Mick Jagger said"Thank you!"and he and the rest of the band got off stage.
Chapter 8 "Red Hot Chilli Peppers"
Then,the annoucer's voice said"Here's the Red Hot Chilli Peppers!"They did two songs.The first was The Zephry Song:
Can I get your hand to write on
Just a piece of lead to bite on
What am I to fly my kite on
Do you want to flash your light on
Take a look its on display - for you
Coming down no not today
Did you meet your fortune teller
Get it off with no propellor
Do it up it's always stellar
What a way to finally smell her
Pick it up it's not to strong - for you
Take a piece and pass it on
Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
Fly on my wing
Riddlin on liberator
Find a way to be a skater
Rev it up to levitator
Super mainly aviator
Take a look its on display - for you
Coming down no not today
Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
In the water where the scent of my emotion
All the world will pass me by
Fly away on my Zephyr
We'll find a place together
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - do you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - won't you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
In the water where the scent of my emotion
All the world will pass me by
Fly away on my Zephyr
We're gonna live forever
Forever
Then,they did Bye The Way.Everybody Clapped.Ginny and Harry weren't snogging for the time being.Neither were Ron and Hermione.
Chapter 10 "The Osbournes"
The annoucers voice was back on "Now,Ozzy Osbourne!" and everyone clapped and cheered.Ozzy came out and started to sing:
Crazy,but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate
Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeh-h
Heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something that just isn't fair
Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
(A/N:Have you ever heard the Crazy Train cellphone ring?It is soo cool!)Then,he sang some other songs and about 30 minutes later,Ozzy left the stage and on the side of the stage was Sharon and Jack Osbourne.Then,the announcer said "Our final performer will be,Kelly Osbourne!"Kelly walked onstage and her band started to play Papa Don't Preach:
Papa I know you're going to be upset
'Cause I was always your little girl
But you should know by now
I'm not a baby
You always taught me right from wrong
I need your help, daddy please be strong
I may be young at heart
But I know what I'm saying
The one you warned me all about
The one you said I could do without
We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe - please
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby
He says that he's going to marry me
We can raise a little family
Maybe we'll be all right
It's a sacrifice
But my friends keep telling me to give it up
Saying I'm too young, I ought to live it up
What I need right now is some good advice, please
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby
Daddy, daddy if you could only see
Just how good he's been treating me
You'd give us your blessing right now
'Cause we are in love, we are in love, so please
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
Oh, I'm gonna keep my baby, ooh
Don't stop loving me daddy
I know, I'm keeping my baby
Everyone clapped and cheered.Kelly sang Shut Up and then she jupped off stage.
Chapter 11 "The End"
The concert was over and everyone was tired and happy.The prefects lead everyone to there towers or dngeons(A/N:*cough*evil Slytherines*cough*).Everybody had an autograph from someone.As they got to the staircasses of Gryffindor Common Room,Harry and Ginny said good night and went up to bed.So did Ron and Hermione.They all agreed that that was one of the greatest Hogwarts memories.