Taking Chances: A Niff Fic
Chapter One – a Broken Man
Nick Duval and Jeff Sterling were friends, best friends; they had been practically inseparable since the first day they met when they were paired up for lab partners freshman year at Dalton. They had always been there for each other, like when Jeff's dad got divorced, again, and re-married, again. Or when Nick's brother was shipped off to Afghanistan, and came back without some fingers. They joined the Warblers together, joined the hockey team together and together they were the masterminds behind the Warblers' plot to get Kurt and Blaine together, together they were totally awesome, and nothing could ever tear them apart.
"Nick! C'mon man! We're gunna be late!" Jeff called down the hall, then under his breath, he added "again" just as Nick said goodbye to their English professor, and ran to join his best friend on the walk to Warbler practice.
Warbler Hall looked the same as usual, various boys scattered about in their navy blazers, some doing vocal warm-ups, others discussing the Latin test, and Trent Nixon was engaged in a heated debate with one of the freshmen about last night's Kicks game. Wes, David, and Thad were sitting at their table, up front, and directly below the Warbler banner. A loud bang of Wes' gavel signaled the start of practice just as Nick and Jeff stumbled their way in.
"We were waiting." Thad stated matter-of-factly.
"Sorry, I was talking to Robbie," Nick mentioned as he and Jeff made their way to the open seats next to Kurt and Blaine. Wes just nodded, because everyone in the room knew about Nick's not so great English grade, and talking to Professor Robbie Deckson, was very important, that is if Nick wanted to come back to Dalton next year.
"Anyways, back to business. First off, we'd like to welcome our newest member, Riker" Wes pointed to the blonde boy standing, his back to the crowed, whispering with Thad.
"And as tradition, we would like to present you with a warbler of your own," David grabbed the bird cage sitting on the desk as the boy stood up and turned to face the crowed. He took the cage from David and a faint smile made an appearance on his face,
"Thank you, everyone thank you. And as Wes here said, my name is Riker, Riker Sterling" The second he mentioned his last name, complete silence fell, and all eyes turned to Jeff, (Jeff, who was burying his head in his hands) until one Blaine Anderson (Blaine, who had his arm wrapped around his boyfriend's shoulder, his boyfriend, Kurt, who was holding Blaine's hand, with a force so strong Blaine questioned of whether he'd ever let go.) broke the silence when he shouted,
"YOU HAVE A BROTHER?" Then, Thad saw it too, the same shade of blonde hair, the same color of coffee brown eyes, they even had the same nose.
"What? Jeffy's never told you guys about me?" Riker placed his new bird cage on the coffee table in the middle of the room and made his way to where Jeff, Nick, Blaine, and Kurt were sitting. Then Riker turned to Jeff, who finally looked up when asked "now why'd ya do that, little brother?" by this point, Jeff was blushing, and his face turned even redder when Riker ruffled his hair. Jeff slapped his brother's hand away before finally standing up as his big brother pulled him into a bear hug, and ruffled his hair, again.
"How come you never talk about Riker? Or any of your family for that matter?" Nick asked his best friend as they walked down the path to Daniel J. Preston Mess Hall, with Kurt and Blaine (who were deep in a discussion of sorts with Riker) in tow.
"It's complicated." And it was, at least in Jeff's opinion. His father, Richard Sterling Sr., had never been a great dad, or husband. He was too focused on being a great politician, and one day President (or so he hoped). Richard Sr. had been married five different times, to four different women, and Jeff had four siblings. First there was Richard Jr., who preferred to go by his middle name, Joseph. Joe was the outcome of a drunken night and a lack of a condom. But being young, Richard Sr. and his then pregnant one-night stand, Morgan, got married for the sake of their son. Big mistake, from what Joe had told Jeff, he had spend the first few years of his life in a run-down shack of a house where Sr. and Morgan spend their days either screaming at each other, or fucking each other. As expected, that didn't last long. Sr. and Morgan got a divorce, in which Morgan was granted full custody of Joe. In a short time, Sr. was back on his feet, and his career was beginning to take off when he married Nicole Blake, and together they had Riker and Jeff, (who are they only of the Sterling children to have the same mother). Nicole was also Sr.'s longest marriage, until it was brought to a tragic end by an oncoming drunk driver. Hence the scar on Jeff's chest, and hence why Richard Sr. rarely drinks more than a few sips of alcohol. After that Sr. was deemed a 'broken man' and went running back to the girl he knocked up years ago. They re-married, and for a while, Sr., Joe, Riker, and Jeff were something of a family, but Jeff knew and Morgan knew, and Sr. knew that no one could replace Nicole. The divorce was cleaner this time, Joe stayed with Morgan, but he still occasionally visits when he has a break from the Police Academy. After that Sr. stayed single for a while, raising his two boys on his own, until he met Cherrie. Cherrie still takes the cake for Jeff's favorite step-mom. Not to long after the wedding, Jeff was told he was going to be a big brother, and not too long after that Burke was born. Now seven years old, Burke looks a lot like his mother, and acts as any little brother would, that is, wanting to be "just like Jeffy." Cherrie ended up leaving Sr., she couldn't handle being a politician's wife. She basically gave Sr. custody of their young son, because she would never want to tear him apart from his big brothers. A few years passed, Sr. was now a congressman for the state of Ohio, and he got married, once again. Jen was her name, and she's still with them. She brought with her her bouncing three-year old red-head daughter, Alexis, who liked to follow Jeff practically everywhere. So it was complicated, and that's why Jeff didn't really talk about his family much. Of course he loved Burke and Alexis to pieces and tried to be the best big brother anyone could ask for, but when it all came down too it, it might just be that Jeff, like his father, was a 'broken man,' and he just couldn't accept that. He wouldn't accept it. So he was doing everything in his power to fix himself, but it wasn't even close to working.
"It's complicated? That's the best you got? C'mon, Jeff, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Nick pestered as the party neared the mess hall and scents of today's lunch drifted up their noses. Jeff knew that technically, yeah, he could tell Nick anything, but there were some things, he just simply didn't even tell people about. As far as Jeff knew, Nick didn't even know that Jeff's mom was dead, as far as he knew; Nick thought it was just another failed marriage like the others.
"Yeah, it's complicated." Jeff pushed his best friend aside as they entered the mess hall and was silent for the next half hour. Nick noticed something was up, something that Jeff wouldn't talk about. Wes, and Blaine, and David, and Kurt all noticed it too, but they knew better than to ask him about it. Even Riker knew better than to question his brother; however Riker may have had some idea of what was ailing Jeff. Jeffery Sterling was never the best at showing much emotion, he was never great at telling people what was wrong, he never wanted anyone's help, and he always wanted to sort everything out on his own. From what his friends could tell, they only way Jeff would show much emotion, was when he sang. They could see it, and hear it, every time he opened his mouth; all the emotion he held inside would come pouring out, for the world to hear.
The lunch room was loud, but that's usually what happens when you put a couple hundred hungry teenage boys in one room. Kurt was surprised they hadn't attacked each other yet. He sat down next to Blaine, who was sitting next to Wes, who was across from David, who had Thad sitting on his left and Trent on his right. (Trent, who was debating the causes of Hitler's rise to power with Jon, the warbler on his right.) Riker sat down next to Jon, and continued the discussion he and Blaine were having before about Ice Hockey, just as Nick sat down next to Kurt, and Jeff stumbled in and sat next to his best friend. Nick immediately joined the hockey discussion, and Kurt attempted to add some input about the uniforms, but ended up embarrassed about his lack of hockey knowledge. Blaine however thought it was adorable, and leaned over to kiss Kurt's beet-red cheek. Jeff was silent for the first half of lunch, and that silence received concerned looks from the rest of the table, especially from Nick, who was dying to figure out what was wrong.
Nick, like Jeff, was never one to really show his feelings, however they did come across much easier for him than for Jeff. Nick pushed his wavy brown hair of to the side and looked to Kurt with an expression that read, "Any ideas?" Kurt shook his head in response and proceeded to join the "Hitler's rise to power" discussion, which by now had turned into a discussion about Hitler's death. Just as Nick was mentioning something about the 1992 Ranger's team, and had Blaine and Riker hanging on by every word, just as another fellow Warbler approached from behind, and sat down between Riker and his brother.
"Hey! You're back!" An enthusiastic Wes got up from across the table and went to hug his friend.
"Yeah, I'm back!" Josh Ryan shouted with the same level of enthusiasm as Wes had, just as Blaine stood up, kissed Kurt on the forehead and ran to high-five Josh, on his way to the snack bar.
"You've been missed, buddy, you've been missed!" Nick too, was excited to see Josh, Kurt however, was somewhat confused, and thought it best to introduce himself, because at they rate they were going, Josh wouldn't know his name until the year 2025.
"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," and he reached across the table to shake this stranger's hand.
"Oh! Sorry, I'm Josh. Josh Ryan. Great to meet you Kurt. So your new here, I'm guessing?"
"Yeah, transferred from McKinley a few months back…"
"And apparently, dating Blaine?"
"Correct again."
"Well good for him, and you," Josh smiled at Kurt, as a cough came from Josh's right and he turned to see Riker Sterling looking back at him, eager to introduce himself.
"Riker Sterling, Jeffy's big brother and newest member of the Warblers."
"You never mentioned you have a brother…" Josh turned to face the blonde sitting on his left. The blonde who just gave him a look that simply said, "Leave me the fuck alone." Josh turned back to Riker, and his eyes scanned the table, until they stumbled upon Blaine who was returning to his seat and splitting a chocolate chip cookie with Kurt. Josh motioned to Jeff, and partly whispered, "What's up with him?" Blaine, Kurt, Nick, and the rest of the Warblers just shrugged, and then all eyes turned to Jeff.
"Seriously, dude, what's up?" Jon asked what they were all wondering.
"WHY DONTYOU ASK HIM?" and Jeff pointed to his brother, then stormed out the mess hall, leaving his untouched lunch, as well as seven warblers staring at Riker, and one warbler running after him.
"Jeff! Jeff!" Nicky called, as he ran out of the mess hall, and down the path, back towards Warbler Hall, where he finally found Jeff, sitting in the practice room, his fingers hitting small, singular notes on the grand piano. Nick, although he had never seen Jeff this bent out of shape before, he still knew it was best to leave him alone, so the brunette stood by the door, watching his friend, wishing there was something he could do.
The broken clock is a comfort; it helps me sleep tonight,
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time.
Nick watched as Jeff's fingers danced on the piano keys, playing in perfect time as he sang, and let all his emotions run away from his body.
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts,
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out.
Jeff's voice was amazing, and for some reason, the way he made the piano sing, seemed just as amazing, magical even, when Nick, for the first time, truly listened, and truly looked.
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing,
With a broken heart, that's still beating,
In the pain, there is healing,
In your name I find meaning
Nick watched as single tear fell from Jeff's coffee brown eyes, and his fingers continued their dance across the black and white field, and his voice continued sending a message that could only be sent through song.
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on I'm holdin' on,
I'm barely holdin' on to you.
Just when Nick thought he was done, just when Jeff stood up the piano, and Nick ducked out of view, is when Jeff pushed back the tears, tore his iPhone out of his pocket and hooked it up to the speaker in the back of the room.
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Jeff was only mumbling along with the lyrics, his main focus was in his dance moves, and in no way were they any form of graceful dance. Nick peeked in again to see that his friend had switched from being upset, to being pissed, and at who or what, Nick didn't know, but he had a feeling that it had something to do with Riker.
Don't know what you're expecting of me,
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
"Shit." Nick heard a whisper from behind, and looked up to see Riker standing right there. Riker, who had left the mess hall only moments after Nick, and had been there, watching practically the whole time.
"Shit what?" Nick whispered back
Every step I take is another mistake to you
"I may know what's wrong….." Riker replied hesitantly
"What?" Nick felt the need, as Jeff's best friend, to know.
"I Can't tell you, but I promise I will talk to him," and with that, Riker walked away, leaving Nick standing there in confusion, as he turned his eyes back to Jeff.
I've become to numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me, and be less like you
Jeff stopped dancing, and sat down in Wes' chair up front. Nick felt this was his cue to enter, and walk in silently.
"Ya know, one day, you might be sitting up there." Nick said, gesturing to the council's table, and causing Jeff to look up and wipe a tear from his eye.
"Probably not. I'm not good enough." Nick wasn't sure which was better, Jeff degrading himself, or not talking at all.
"Really? Did you even hear the way you sang just now, and they way you can dance? Jesus Jeff, your one of the most talented guys here!"
"You're just saying that. Plus, I'm pretty sure that when Wes and Thad graduate, Blaine and You will take their places. Not me Nick, not me."
"Jeff, stop. Please. Your talented, we're all talented. Plus, I don't even care about being on the council. What I want to know, is what I wrong, Jeff, I'm worried."
"Do I have to tell you?"
"No, but if you need to tell someone, I've been told I'm an excellent listener."
Then the bell rang. Then Nick headed off to History, and Jeff headed of to Physics. Then they were separated. And Jeff was still pissed at Riker, for reasons unknown to anyone that wasn't Riker of Jeff. And Nick, and Blaine, and Kurt, and the rest of the Warbler's were still worried. And Jeff still felt that he wasn't good enough, and doubted if he ever would be.