It's been so long since I've written anything so, there you have it folks. This is my first trip back into fan fiction land and as nervous as I am, I adore these characters and the show far too much to NOT share. I really hope you guys enjoy...because there's so much more where this came from. ~NikkiNovak
Chapter One: Home Again
They say you can never go home again. I'd like to find out who 'they' are and tell them that they're definitely correct. Mystic Falls. It used to be my safe haven, my bubble, the place where a young woman could grow her hopes and dreams. It was a quiet place with small town charm, which if we're being honest, meant that everyone knew everyone else's business. Still, my friends and I traversed our most formative years in the local high school. We threw bonfires by the lake and pool parties at Tyler Lockwood's massive house. There were ghost stories in the cemetery, hangovers, proms, heartache, and lots of growing up. Even after my parents died, Mystic Falls held me close and raised me to think anything was possible. The most unbelievable thing, though, was how badly we all wanted to escape out into the real world and see what it had to offer. It was that inherent want and need to explore that landed our core group of friends in New York City. Honestly, I never thought I'd go back. Too bad small town dreams don't always turn into big city realities.
I stood in the middle of my old bedroom, hands on hips, surveying what was left behind after I'd moved out. Jenna hadn't even attempted to clear anything out in fear that I had slipped into denial about wanting to keep things for future proverbial children. But, that was then. It was time for it all to go and what better use of post-graduation time than to clean out your childhood bedroom? I personally couldn't think of a better decision.
"Elena?"
Footsteps fell with soft thuds on the wooden staircase and I spun, a genuinely happy smile growing. "Ric...hey." I tossed the stuffed bear in my hand aside and crossed into the hallway to hug him. "Jenna said you guys might need some extra space. Congrats."
His smile lit up his eyes in the warmest way. Alaric and Jenna had a love story to be envious of, and envious I was but, I was also happy for them. My old room would soon be a nursery. Another generation to enjoy the space, to grow and dream just like I had. For their baby's sake...I hope things go better than they had for me. The thought brought me back to reality and back to the discarded bear.
Ric sighed happily but not without taking notice of the sudden shift in mood. "Thanks...and I'm uh, sorry to hear about you and Matt."
The topic obviously made him uncomfortable so I spared him quickly with a change of subject. "I noticed Jer didn't offer up his room." I motioned through the open bathroom door that connected my brother's room with mine. "Now you've got to have another."
I laughed and he joined me without trying to rehash the whole 'Matt' topic. "Try telling your aunt that. I'm sure she'll have an opinion or two...or three."
"Or maybe I'll just clean his room out myself and leave mine, you know...to live in while I try to figure out how to be a grown up."
I could see it on his face before his words confirmed what I already knew to be true. Pity. "Hey, you're gonna be fine. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out who you are," he offered with a glance around the room. "Get out and get some fresh air. This stuff can wait."
"Too bad they don't teach you that in college. I'd have majored in adulting." My tone was defeated and Ric was right; this stuff could wait. A lot of things could and would wait because I just wasn't prepared. I spent most of my life preparing to be unprepared.
Nothing ever changed in Mystic Falls, Virginia. The square was bustling with a farmer's market that showed up like clockwork every summer. People walked their dogs. Little kids roamed around with ice cream cones. It was practically Mayberry and I caught myself whistling the Andy Griffith theme song as I walked. My feet, on their own accord of course, led me straight to the place I'd been trying like hell to avoid. The grill. Mystic Grill, the hangout spot. Conveniently managed by my now ex-boyfriend. Luckily, I had sense enough to make a u-turn and get out of there before someone else decided to apologize on the demise of our relationship.
"Rest in peace...or is it pieces?" I mused to myself. "Here lies the broken pieces of what once was a promising relationship. Or not." If anything, I could dedicate my life to eulogies and obituaries. My subconscious obviously thought so too because somehow I ended up in the cemetery, perched ever so comfortably on my parent's headstone. The irony of it all was not lost on me, the queen of irony. He'd called me cold hearted. Imagine that, if you will. Someone I had known my entire life, someone I had loved and treasured and shared many firsts with actually had the balls to call me cold hearted. The thought made me angry and I hopped off the headstone, kicking a loose rock in the process. It was because we grew up. The adult versions of Matt and I, we just didn't get one another, but I tried. I held on too long to the memory of what had once been and when the time came to end it all, I didn't cry. I didn't react at all. Ten years and not even one tear. I would hate me too.
It was hard to go anywhere in town that didn't remind me of who I used to be. There was evidence of Elena Gilbert in everything, the girl with such a good head on her shoulders and bright future. Rest in peace to that girl too. In her place was...me, but figuring out who me is would be a journey all its own.
Despite the reason, being home again brought a sense of normalcy back that had been absent. The rest of the day was relatively uneventful, aside from Jenna burning dinner. Everyone tiptoed around any subject they thought might set me off but I could let them have their avoidance. It made my eventual escape up the stairs from a heated game of Monopoly that much easier and when I finally closed the door to my old bedroom, the silence overtook me at once. I went from months of pouring myself over a thesis and struggling to find the time to sleep, to wondering what my next step would be. I have a Masters degree. I have a Masters degree and absolutely no idea what to do with my life. The anxiousness started to consume me so I fell face first onto my bed as dramatically as one could manage. Tomorrow is when I'll stop acting like a twelve year old. For now, I just want to wallow and throw a giant pity party for myself. Loser, party of one.
Somehow, I must have fallen asleep because I woke to Jenna crawling into my bed like she used to when I was younger. A soft but lazy smile found its way to my lips. The sensation almost felt foreign. "You do realize you have your own bed complete with a husband and a pregnancy pillow, right?" I question at the same time I scoot closer to my aunt.
Jenna stifled a yawn. "You do realize I don't buy this casual demeanor you're tossing around, right?"
"Touché."
"Then spill, Elena. My Spidey Senses are tingling...and I really have to pee."
My eyes rolled automatically and I cleared my throat, trying to clear the huskiness of sleep away. "I'm fine, Jen. I just need some time to get myself together."
"Seriously? Get yourself together?" I barely caught the soft disbelieving sound she made. "You've been walking around here like the most put together person I've ever seen. Try again."
I could feel her eyes burning into me through the darkness and suddenly I felt very small. It was just too much to explain. "No offense, but I don't want to relive my breakup in the middle of one of your midnight bathroom trips."
Jenna knew she'd lost this round, that much I could tell by her defeated exhale. "Fine...but we're revisiting this tomorrow morning. You can't escape me." Her hand connected with my shoulder, shoving me, and I groaned in annoyance.
"Jenna! Go!"
"I'm going, I'm going…" For a pregnant woman, she exited the bed easily and padded off toward the bathroom.
When she was gone, I tried my best to go back to sleep. I stared at the ceiling, blinking through the haze in my eyes and my mind which automatically goes back to the night that Matt and I broke up.
The elevator lurched and I grabbed the railing that runs parallel to where I'm standing. My stomach grumbled reminding me that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. It was days like this where I question my decision to get my Masters but the elevator reaches our floor, bringing me back to the present. All I wanted was a grilled cheese and a bubble bath...maybe some ice cream. Mint chocolate chip…
"I'm home-" I stop in my tracks and at the beginning of what I guess is a path of rose petals. "Matt?" Confusion is etched on my features when he doesn't answer, forcing me to follow the abandoned petals into the bedroom.
"I thought I was gonna have to come to the library and find you," Matt spoke from his spot on the end of the bed when I rounded the one wall separating the bedroom from the rest of the apartment.
"What…" I drop the bag with my books and laptop onto the floor with a soft thud, taking in the scene unfolding around me. "...Matt, what's going on?"
He rose and gave me his usual crooked grin. It only managed to confuse me more. Matt Donovan was not a rose petals and candles kind of guy. The silence was filled only by my breathing, strangled in my throat by the sudden appearance of a velvet box.
The sound of birds singing and calling rattled around in my subconscious before I realized I was awake and at home, the morning breeze carrying the sounds of Saturday morning in Mystic Falls through the window. There were the sprinklers across the street at the Nelsons' house and a lawn mower one street over and...an air horn?
I scrambled out of bed to the window, shoving curtains aside to find out where the horn was coming from and why it seemed to be getting closer. What the... My head emerged from the sea of dancing draperies just in time to catch the tail end of an RV turning onto my street. The horn blew again, announcing its arrival...right in front of my house and before I could even process what was happening, a blonde came bounding down the steps excitedly.
"Caroline?"
The blonde looked up and waved excitedly as if she'd heard me. I returned the wave halfheartedly, retreating into the room to get dressed. Somewhere downstairs the doorbell rang. There was a flurry of voices, Caroline's much louder than the rest because she was eternally excited about life in general. Jenna called up to me a few times but I dressed at a snail's pace regardless. Whatever was happening with the thing parked out front couldn't be good.
By the time I got downstairs there was a full blown reunion going on. Caroline's boyfriend, and my longtime friend, Stefan was exchanging playful blows with my brother. Ric was pouring everyone coffee and Jenna had both of Caroline's hands on her stomach, waiting for the baby to kick. It was like a postcard that you'd find in the "This is Your Life, Elena Gilbert' section of Hallmark and I couldn't help but admire it all from afar for as long as I could. That was, until Caroline spotted me.
"Elena! Oh my gosh, you look exhausted. I've been so worried and you haven't been returning my calls. We've been worried, right?" She glanced and nodded at Stefan who offered a warm smile. "See? Worried. You just left and Matt...and…"
"Care, I'm okay. It's okay. I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going," I slipped in when she took a breath, taking both of her hands before she enveloped me in a tight hug.
The others continued to chatter on behind us as Caroline pulled away and lowered her voice. "I'm here for you. Stefan and I both; we love you. Okay?"
It was her way of leaving the door unlocked just in case one day I decided to come back to the subject and that was one of the reasons I loved her so much. "Duly noted," I breathed in a sigh of relief. "More importantly though, what the hell is that thing you drove here?"
"It's an RV, silly. A recreational vehicle." Her eyes widened with the word recreational.
"I gathered that much. Why did you and Stefan drive the recreational vehicle here?" There was only one recreation that I knew those two to get involved in and I wanted no parts of that one.
Caroline gave me a look. A tilted head, knowing smile and dimpled look. A look that said I was about to be bamboozled by the queen bamboozler herself. "Road trip!" She gathered me in another hug and all I could focus on was Stefan's look of amused pity from across the room. Bless him. And curse him.
"Wait...I can't just pick up and go. I can't...no. No road trip."
"Why not?" Jenna piped up, having obviously heard the news before I even got downstairs. "You said it yourself last night. You need some time...what was it? To get yourself together." A knowing grin played at the edges of her mouth. Nice move. Playing my words against me.
Elena..zero. Jenna..one.
"Jenna's right," Ric piped up, as he usually did, and offered me a cup of coffee. "Live, be young...and free. Something like that," he finished with a wink and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"This is the absolute wrong time to run away. I-"
"You what?" Stefan interrupted, one arm winding casually around Caroline's waist. Earth to the sun.
"I...I…" Damn it. He'd thrown me off my weak defense game. Nice timing. I got nothing.
Caroline leaned into Stefan with a satisfied grin. "That's what we thought. You've got no good reason to not have some fun. C'mon, Elena. You've been work, work, work since we went to college." She grabbed my hands and held them both excitedly. "This is our time to shine, to make memories. It's what your parents would have wanted."
Low blow, using the parental card. It rarely happened but when she was desperate, Caroline could charm an Eskimo out of his parka and in that moment I was freezing. "Fiiiine. Fine. I'll entertain this road trip idea." Care started to get excited until I held up a finger to stop her. "But, I need details before I start packing."
"Details?" Her eyes lit up like they usually did when details were involved and she pulled me out the front door before I could resist. "I've got a binder full of research and timelines...oh, and maps…"
"How long have you been planning this trip and why haven't I heard about it until now?" I looked back to ask Stefan but no one else had followed. It took me a moment to realize she was stalling in her answer. "Care?"
"Don't be mad. Just promise you will hear me out, okay?"
All I could offer was a nod and a cross of my arms, my hand yanked free of hers.
"Stef and I have been planning this for a while but...it was a couple's trip. A last hoorah, if you will." There was an unsure smile thrown in my direction.
"You mean, this is a pity invite?"
Caroline wrung her hands and leaned against the RV. "That's a firm negative, Elena. After everything with Matt and graduation we thought...it'll never be like this again, so, we're making this a friend's trip."
It was so something she'd do and I knew it came from the heart because that's how she was. That's what kind of best friend I'd been lucky to find and when my two closest friends started dating, it was a happy day. For the longest time it had been four of us and I still hadn't figured out where I fit in the world we created without Matt but, I had yet to feel like the third wheel. The RV drew my attention and I circled to the opposite side, chewing my bottom lip, a habit, in thought. Caroline followed, looking pleased with herself. When we were little, traveling was something we spoke about with awe. It seemed like such an impossibility at the time. Then, we all moved to New York and went to college. Stefan and I both got our Masters. That had been our lives for years.
"Let's do it," I said with a smile, grabbing my best friend by her shoulders. "I'm all in."
"Yes!" She tackled me with a hug that sent me stumbling back a few steps. "This is gonna be the trip of a lifetime, you have no idea!"
It was too easy to jump up and down and giggle with her like we were teenagers again. I'm sure the neighbors were watching with interest as Caroline did a little victory dance and I climbed on the RV to blow the air horn that had started the whole mess. "Road trip!" I called, mimicking her earlier statement and it was on. We had officially crossed back into our bubble where everything was right and nothing could stop us. Nothing. Nada. We were untouchable once again. The prom queen, the quiet know it all, and the girl next door. There was only one person missing but that was not going to get to me. I hope.