AN: Okay so this has been on my computer for ages, making me realise how random and weird I am, and I thought to myself, why not let everyone else see it? This is basically just a one shot, but I might continue if I get enough interest
I was currently running for my life, laughing all the way. Who am I? You ask. Well I am Imogen Longworth, prankster extrodianare, currently pranking at Salem Institute for young witches and wizards. Oh yeah i'm a witch. Shhhh.
Now you may be wondering what I am running from, well i'll tell you. I am currently running from the caretaker Mr Mitch and his demonic cat Miss Daisy. Why am i running? Well I may or may not have shaved half of Miss Daisy's fur off. It was an accident I swear.
Sort of
I fell
With a razor, onto her butt
Ok so it was on purpose DONT JUDGE ME
She deserved it
Stupid cat
Anyway, I was looking for a good place to hide, when I spotted the entrance to the dining hall. There's usually a lot of people in there so I can make my escape.
But who should block my way. None other than Mr Mitch and his demonic cat.
Oh Shit
"We've got you now, let's see what the headmaster says about this" He cackled menacingly.
"Dont worry Mr Mitch, the headmaster loves me" I said with a cheeky grin.
I have nothing to worry about.
"EXPELLED!" I cannot believe I got expelled, the headmaster obviously doesnt like me as much as I thought he did
"Yes, this is the last of multiple incidents that you have done" He says, I open my mouth to ask what incidents but he beats me to it.
"Lets see, the fire in the greenhouses, the hinkypunks in the dining room, and the giant wasps in my office and they are the only the ones that caused the least amount of damage"
This is so unfair other than that I havent done much.
"But-" I started.
"No buts, we are sending you home, Miss Partridge. I advise you to go and pack, you leave in an hour so you can say your goodbyes" He says, well I personally think he didnt sound so broken up about losing his FAVOURITE student.
Say goodbye? Say goobye to who? Ok I only have 1 friend here, my pet owl Bubbles. Never and I repeat Never let your mum name your owl, come on I mean Bubbles what is she five?
I think everyones too scared that I might prank them, they all think that its too immature, well I for one will never give up pranking, NEVER I TELL YOU.
-An hour later-
"Well this is goodbye, headmaster. I shall miss you, send Mr Mitch my regards." I sigh loudly, take some floo powder and sneakily drop the tiny box I was holding. I had recently figured out that the headmaster didnt like me at all, so I decided that I would leave him a present. One of my very own exploding boxes, I had just designed them and he can be the first to tell me if they work or not. I probably wouldnt be around to see the aftermarks though.
"I will Miss Longworth, have a safe journey" He says politely, he may say that politely but his eyes say different. I throw the floo powder into the fire and just before I go, I whip out my wand and poured water onto the box, that was lying oh-so-innocently on the floor. It immediantly started to fizz up and that was when I figured i better go.
"The Longworth Residence" And I was gone, all I heard was a shout and a DAMN YOU from the headmaster, i laughed but then immediatly regretted it when I inhaled lungfulls of smoke. The ride was a bit longer because I live in England with my dad, my mum left us when I was three.
I arrived at my house, coughing and spluttering all over the carpet. To find my dad standing over me, looking amused. I dont think he knows that i've been expelled yet, he would probably laugh.
"What are you doing home?" Gee thanks dad. No "Hi Imogen its so lovely that your home early" straight to the point is my dad.
"Errmm, well you see due to circumstances that were out of my control I seem to have been sent home indenfinatly" Using big words always confused my dad.
"So you were expelled" Obviously he's a lot smarter than I give him credit for.
"Basically" I said, with my infamous cheeky grin that I had gotten from the man standing in front of me wearing the same expression. He obviously finds it hilarious, such a good dad he is.
"Ahh well, you win some you lose some" He said, Oh no, he has on his thinking face.
"We need to get you registered into another school then, how about Durmstrang?" He asks.
"Do you want me to be killed by dark art experts?" I ask sarcastically, Of course he doesnt or at least I hope he doesnt.
"Ok how about Beauxbatons?"
"Ewww, no there all stuck up and ... posh" We both shuddered at the word posh.
"Ok then how about Hogwarts?" I contemplate this, other than the name I had no clue about it.
"Perfect." Its always good to go to a school you know nothing about because then you have no expectations.
"Ok then. I'll go send a letter off to Dumbledore" I snorted at the name, come on what kind of a name is that, I thought my owl had it bad next they'll be telling me his first name is something stupid like, Jesus or Albus.
"Sure dad, you do that" I said moving over to the kitchen and taking out some ice-cream even though it was the middle of November.
"And try to be good at this school" 5 seconds after he said this we both burst out laughing I mean me be good, what is going on in his brain?
Today is the day.
The big day, what is today?
Today is the day in which I go to Hogwarts. I still cant get over the name might as well have called it Pigspots.
I personally dont know how im going to get there but I wasnt too fussed. I would find a way to get there even if I had to hijack the Knight bus.
-An Hour later-
"Slow down child" said the shrunken head.
"No time!" Yes I have hijacked the Knight bus, all it took was a smile and an exploding box. They really did come in handy, I wonder if I could sell them. I only have one left but i'll use that when I need to.
Anyway.
Me and the shrunken head were on our way to Hogwarts seeing as my dad didnt get me a way there I had to make one. He was trying to apparate me into Hogsmade. NO WAY I hate apparation with a passion. So I maturely ran out of the house after telling him I would see him in the summer holidays.
What a lovely way to say goodbye, well I'll see him again in the Easter holidays probably. Unless of course I get expelled. Again.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH" I was shitting myself, the head was shitting himself. Hell we were both shitting ourselves. I seriously am never looking at this bus again. I dont even know how I made it go, all I can say is thank god for magic.
"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE" The head screamed at me.
"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?" I screamed back, honestly I have never driven before in my life. But hey there's a first time for everything.
I looked at the dashboard it was 5:30, I wonder how long it takes to get to Hogwarts.
"OI DO YOU KNOW WHERE HOGWARTS IS?" I had been driving around London trying not to hit anything.
"ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR GOING?" The head screamed at me, apparently he doesnt like my driving skills.
"BASICALLY YEAH" So we continued on our journey, the head shouting directions and me screaming my head off.
I had just gotton used to all of the controls when we reached the village of Hogsmade, and I was actually excited. I tried to slow down, but I didnt know which button/handle/lever/paddle was the break. So I tried some of everything and I somehow managed to make the bus go faster. Oh Shit.
"HIT THE BRAKE, HIT THE BRAKE" The head screamed at me, his voice must be getting sore from the screaming he had been doing the past 4 1/2 hours.
"WHICH ONE'S THE AHHHHH" We had crashed into a tree, the another and another, apparently we were in some kind of forest, well this is different. I dont remember my dad saying anything about a forest. WAIT was that a unicorn?
Dont get distracted, I tried to manouver the bus out of the forest, but I think we got lost. No wait, theres a clearing and yes we were out in the open, infront of a MASSIVE big castle. Apperently there are a lot of things that my dad didnt tell me about this place.
"WATCH OUT FOR THE ..." CRASH. "wall" Oh Shit, I had crashed into a wall, not just any wall. But the wall that was attached to the MASSIVE big castle I was talking about earlier.
"Bye, shrunken head. Say thanks to Stan and Ernie for letting me "borrow" the bus". I hope they dont sue, anyway enough of this depressing talk, time to see what all the fuss is about.
I walked up the step to some really big, wooden doors that obviously was the entrance, and pushed them open. Inside was a ghost just innocently floating up and down, but what caught my attention was the water balloons in his arms, Ahhh he must be waiting for someone. I walked up to him and just stared at him, he stared back. Then we both broke out into mischeivous grins and began pelting each other with water balloons. Well he was pelting me with them, and I was running arounf like a headless chicken trying not to get wet while using my wand to aim water at his face.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING PEEVES?" Bellowed an angry man. "Peeves" just cackled and used this distration to deliver a water balloon to my face. This snapped me out of my daze, and aim water at him, but he moved and I ended up soaking the angry and now soaking wet man.
"THATS IT! THIS IS THE LAST STRAW BOTH OF YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE" He points a finger at me. "Empty your pockets" I did as he ordered, and he snatched the exploding box, bit of lint, some floss and a mint out of my hand.
"What is this rubbish" He asks pointing at my box, HOW DARE HE! That took me 6 months to make, it was very complicated, plus I kept procrastinating.
"That is a- NO DONT DROP IT!" The floor was soaking wet, I knew that when that box hit the floor we would all be in serious trouble. So I did the sensible thing and ran, draggin the old man with me. We didnt quite make it to the other MASSIVE big doors when we heard the almighty noise that started off the box.
"PHIZZ" Oh shit,
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
I was sent flying backwards into the two doors that I was previously trying to escape through, and I landed very painfully on my back.
"Ouch, that hurt" I just lay there for a few seconds till it dawned on me that the angry man was still outside. So I carefully got up, groaning as I did so, and walked back to the doors. And there he was in all of his glory on the floor in practically in the same position I was in a minute ago.
"Just walk it off, stretch a little bit, I would suggest some sort of cream as well" This was when he decided to get up, and he dragged me back to the doors I had just crashed through. Now that I had turned around I found my self face to face with an audience, all wearing some sort of amused or shocked expression. So do you know what I did? I grinned my signiture cheeky grin and waved.
"Ahh Mr Filch to what do we owe this pleasure to" The speaker was a VERY old man, he was so old that he could tuck his beard into his belt.
"She decided it would be funny to let off an explosion in the entrance hall" Filch said, wait a minute.
"He-hum, I told you not to drop it, but what did you do? You dropped it, and that was my last one. Took me 6 months to make. Now I have to start from scratch. I hope your happy!" I then very maturely plopped down in an available seat and pouted. I then took in my surroundings and was met with a table full of amused faces. I continued pouting until I heard a chuckle coming from the old guy, at least someone here has a sense of humor unlike Mr "Filch" apparently.
I looked at the people I was sitting next to, a girl with bright red hair and dazzling green eyes. She was looking at me in amusement as well, I'm happy that I can amuse miss whatever-your-name-is.
"I wonder what he'll do when he realises the knight bus is outside, and a huge chunk of the castle is missing?" I say this almost regretfully, this has got to be some sort of record right expelled before name is known.
This caused red head to snort in laughter. I smirked, I know I can make anyone laugh.
Unfortunately her snort attracted unwanted attention from Mr Filch, he literally growled at me. So I waved back at him, his eyes widened breifly as if no one has withstood the power of his almighty growl. Which is amusing really because I thought that he sounded rather constipated.