Reflections
9thDoctor/Rose
Set after "Father's Day."
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who,
If I did, Chris and Rose would still be on
Rose sat huddled in a blanket in the control room of the TARDIS. She wiped away tears as she thought back to what had happened that day. She'd nearly destroyed the world, she saw her dad die twice and she'd temporarily lost the Doctor. Rose felt terrible and upset after they had left 1986 but she'd hidden it from the Doctor.
After leaving, they had gone to their rooms to get some sleep. Not long after, Rose had had a nightmare about her dad and the Doctor's death. She missed her dad so much and wanted to talk to someone but the only other person on board the TARDIS was the Doctor and she didn't want to bother him with her human troubles, so she'd kept as quiet as she could, out there in the control room alone. She'd caused enough trouble today and had even considered leaving, but when she'd started packing, she'd taken everything back out and decided she couldn't. So she'd been out in the control room by herself.
She was surprised he hadn't thrown her out like he'd done with Adam back on Satellite Five. True, they'd argued, but he'd let her come back with him on the TARDIS. She hardly believed he'd let her after all that had happened.
She had plugged her headphones into the CD player and was listening to the song "Reflection" from Mulan. Mulan's trip to the matchmaker hadn't gone well, she'd dishonored her family and she was questioning her identity and wondering if she'd ever do anything right for her family's honor. Rose couldn't help but wonder if the song was partially describing her. She took out her headphones, turned the volume down and softly sang along to the music. She'd recorded her own version of the song earlier and was fighting back tears as she sang.
When the song ended, Rose hit "replay" then "pause" and tried to control her sobs. She froze as she heard a door opening.
"Rose?" It was the Doctor.
She remained silent and quickly wiped her tears away as best she could, as the Doctor poked his head into the control room.
"Are you alright? What're you doing up?" he asked.
"Nothing. Just listening to music. Did I wake you?"
"No." He looked at her with concern. "You've been crying."
"No, I haven't."
"Come on, Rose, what's the matter? You can tell me."
"Nothing," she insisted.
He didn't look convinced. He walked over to the CD player, hit the "play" button, and then he was listening to her altered version of "Reflection" before she could stop him.
"Look at me
I will never pass for a perfect girl
Or a perfect friend
Can it be
I'm not meant to play this part?"
Rose tried to stop it but the Doctor put a hand up. "I want to hear this," he said. She let him.
"Now I see that if I were truly
To be myself
I would break the Doctor's heart."
"Doctor," Rose began. The Doctor silenced her with a look.
"Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?"
The song ended and Rose didn't look at the Doctor.
"Oh, Rose, is this about today?" he asked, gently.
"Yes," Rose admitted. "I felt really guilty about today. I almost left, but I chickened out. Then I had a nightmare about you and dad
"Why didn't you had a nightmare?"
She sighed. "I had already done so much today, I-I didn't want to bother you with my human troubles. The song just echoes my own questions, Doctor. What am I? Who am I?"
She was surprised when he picked her up into his arms and hugged her tightly. "You're Rose Tyler, who's the most fantastic and kind human who ever lived."
"What? But I—"
He shushed her. "Rose, you could never bother me."
She hugged him back and cried into his shoulder. "I just miss my dad so much."
"It's okay to miss your dad. He was a great bloke and he loved you very much…like I do."
Rose smiled through her tears and they shared a kiss. After that, they went back to bed and slept in each other's arms. Everything would be alright as long as they had each other.
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