The title bares all.
CRitiques would be savoured, reviews would be treasured, flames would be loved.
This is what I got from reading forums in Aarin fantasy. seriously, that website is awesome!
"America!!! What the hell are these????" England came into the room with flushed face and steamy breath. He looked like a marathon runner who had been running 50,000 km in one hour. In his hands lies an opened cardboard box with mail post from America. America was smiling (as usual) with hamburgers between his teeth (as usual) and waving his hand as if England was there to ask him for an afternoon tea visit.
"Oh, It's my new export! The glittering Edward Cullen dildo! It sold wonders, you know? It is glittering even not under the sun and if you put it in the deepest part of your fridge, you can have it nice and cold~! And there are British fans too… don't tell me you are the buyers of all those 34 sets of Edward Cullen plus Jacob Black's super special glittering pink cold dildo? I never know you are so icky, Iggy!"
"NO YOU GIT! I get them from my immigration quarantine!!! You bloody…"
"Oh, if you want, you can also order the other Cullen's family. Oh you can order the Charlie Swan's size too! (FYI Charlie is the father of Bella)"
"I wouldn't want any of that, you fool!!!" England shouted at the top of his lungs. America waved his hand again.
"Now now, what do you want then? Another coloured dildo? I have pink, blue, yellow, orange, purple and maybe just everything! I even have polka dots and army shades~!"
"NO you…!!! I don't want that either, you moron!!!"
"I have another sizes you want too~ But I wonder how big you can stick inside that small ass of yours, Iggy~"
"YOU!" England blushed deeply. "MORON!!!"
"I know the diameter and elasticity since I just stick mine last week… ah, yes! France just told me that you became so easily irritated when you lack of sex! So let's do it, with you coming here and all!"
"America!!!"
"Or do you want my size? I can make that especially for you, Iggy~" America smiled. "But I wouldn't forgive you if you choose France's size. I am bigger, you know!"
"OH you BLOODY pervert!!!"
"…or Russia's? That weirdo marked my condom size as XS… How big does he actually is? I wonder how China could stand something bigger than my 25 cm… even you were frantic and almost torn last week, right, Iggy?"
England didn't answer. He was busy throwing the 34 sets of dildos one by one and aimed it at California and Texas and any parts of America that does actually hurt when hit.
You can now understand what kind of feeling I have for twilight.
Oh... Just goosebumps. I wrote this in 10 minutes FLAT.
The real thing could be found in http : // tantusinc . com / mm5 / merchant . mvc ?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP website. Just Google it and look at the comment. I had goose bumps that last for 20 minutes… even as I wrote this now.