The Recalcitrant Wife

By Lady of Spain

Chapter 1: A Task for Murtagh

Disclaimer: D. Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander

The sky seemed more overcast than usual, reflecting the mood of the Highlanders—and my Highlander in particular. I wished to god that he and I weren't privy to the horrible outcome on this field. If only Prince Charlie would go back to Italy and save the lives of these brave and honorable men, but his arrogance and stupidity were apparently the order of the day. I wasn't really a fan of assassination, yet Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ—somebody bloody stop the power-hungry imbecile!

Perhaps I could season his dinner with crushed oleander if I could get close enough to him. With my luck, however, he'd have a food tester, and when the poor sod crumpled to the ground frothing at the mouth, I'd be strung up, tout de suite.

My mood was immutable; even Jamie's entrance into the tent could not erase the gloom overshadowing me. I knew in my heart that my stubborn Scotsman would never back down, and still I tried to reason with him. There were only two more days until the battle, and I felt the urgency eating at me. I had to persuade him to leave.

He cast a wan smile in my direction; those beautiful topaz eyes already haunting me.

"Sassenach, I brought us a bit o' food."

Jamie set the plate beside me on the pallet. I looked at it with revulsion. How could I sit there enjoying the cuisine when disaster was at the door? "I can't eat, Jamie. My stomach is a tangle of knots."

"Ye havta eat, mo chridhe, ye've a bairn to think 'bout, ken?"

Rubbing my hand over the evident bulge of my abdomen, I shot back, "Yes, but it's your bairn as well, and here you are, prepared to lay down and die for some pompous oaf, and leave your son fatherless. You know how this will end, and it's not good."

"I'll no tell ye agin. I'm sworn to Prince Charles, and I canna step away from it. The shame o' it would follow me to my grave."

"And if you stay and fight, your honor will most certainly hasten you to your grave."

He shook his mass of copper curls. "It canna be helped."

I huffed, defeated. What more could I say? We'd been over this time and time again. I wanted to rip out my unruly hair and scream like a banshee. Highlanders … they were so unreasonable. Was it genetics?

Jamie knelt beside me, his face in mine. "Please, Claire. Can ye no eat a wee bite or two? There's nay sense in starvin' yerself to spite me."

"Is that what you think I'm doing? It's not; it's this idiotic notion that you're going as a lamb to the slaughter, knowing full well that you won't come out alive. It's leaving my nerves jangling and raw. I feel as if I may fly apart like fraying seams in a skirt. Jamie … I don't want to go on living without you. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Aye, but I canna see a way to put an end to it. I'm conscripted to lead my men, and I willna do otherwise."

Sighing, I held back tears that were threatening to fall, and picked at my food. Jamie collapsed beside me, sitting cross-legged, and helped himself to some bread, and roasted yams.

I hated for the day to end—it would bring me that much closer to the clans' demise, and the death of Scottish tradition. But end it did, and Jamie slipped in beside me on the fur pallet.

We made love that fateful night, and my Scotsman was exceptionally attentive and tender. I clung to him afterwards, imagining that in doing so, I could stretch out the night, making this moment in time endure forever, and Jamie wouldn't have to leave me.

# # # # #

Resigned to the fact as this would be the last time to bed my wife, I determined to love her wi' ever' cell o' my body. I reveled in her scent, and the feel o' her hair and soft skin. I listened intently to the wee noises as came from her throat as her passion grew. I would greatly miss all o' that if I continued this sojourn o' life; my death the only escape from such torture.

When we were spent, I was disinclined to separate from her, and held my Sassenach tightly 'til I felt she had fallen asleep. As for me, I couldna welcome the respite o' sleep, for I kent what must be doon on the followin' morn.

My heart was full and I wished to tell Claire how much lovin' her meant to me. The three years past were the verra best part o' my life, and so I could lay down my body for Prince Charlie wi' nary a regret, except for ne'er bein' able to see my bairn. I kent as I truly would look down from heaven on him ever' day o' his life.

Much as I tried to abstain from slumber, the day's exhaustion crept opon me, and I drifted into blessed oblivion, no awakenin' 'til the dawn broke. Kissin' her brow afore leavin' our shelter, I sought the campfire to obtain some breakfast, and brought it wi' me to the tent.

After eatin', I watched Claire as she dressed, her brown mass o' curls all wild 'bout her face. I committed that image to memory, swallowin' past the obstructin' lump in my gullet; perhaps it would sustain me when the battle raged on the moor. Wi' a deep breath o' courage, I exited through the tent flap in search o' my godfather, Murtagh. I couldna trust the task to anyone else.

I found him in the stable, curryin' his horse. "Murtagh," I intoned, "I have need o' ye."

He turned round, the brush in his hand. "What is it then?"

"I canna abide Claire to witness my death, for surely it will come to pass. So, I have a mind for ye to take her back to Craigh na Dun. I told ye once 'bout her slippin' through the stones and comin' to us. If ye believed me or no, yet it is true. She must return to her own time, and I'm askin' this favor o' ye. I canna leave the men. If I should be gone for any length, they may lose heart and ken as I'd deserted them. Do I have yer word as ye would see to it?"

"Aye," he answered. "It would be my honor."

"I thank ye truly, Murtagh."

He patted me on the shoulder and said, "I best get Brimstone and Trom Laighe saddled and ready then, aye?"

I took Claire by the hand, and led her out into the open. She looked op at Murtagh and the two horses, with a mixture of confusion and fear.

"What is this about?" she shouted, her face hardened in determination.

"I've asked Murtagh to return ye to yer own time." I put out my palm to stop her from arguin'. "Aye, he kens that weel. O' a surety … on the morrow, the battle will bring me to the end o' my life, and I willna have ye in harm's way on that bloody field. Ye must away from this place afore it's too late. I wish ye and the bairn to be safe, aye?"

She straightened—the stubborn woman. "Well, I'm not going, and that's that. You and your Highland idiots need me to tend to their wounds."

"I'll no contest wi' ye, Sassenach. Ye're goin'."

Claire backed op, meanin' to run, I expect. I nodded to Mutagh, and he grabbed her afore she could get two paces away. She struggled, hissin' at us. "Jamie Fraser. I won't go. You can't bloody well make me."

"I can, and ye will."

I took a rope from one o' the saddle bags, and tied her feet t'gether.

She kicked at me whilst my cousin held her to keep her still. "No—no! Jamie, please, don't do this."

# # # # #

For a little wiry man, Murtagh was strong. I fought with all my might to rid myself of the human manacles, but to no avail. Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ—Jamie was winding a rope around my feet. He was adamant about me leaving him to his fate. My heart was pounding so hard, I could hear it thundering in my ears. I ultimately surrendered, and gave up my wriggling. My Scotsman then drew me to his chest, "Claire … I need to see ye safe, ken. This moor will be a killin' field mornin' next. I canna save myself, but I'll be damned if I let ye and the bairn fall wi' me. I love ye, mo nighean donn."

"Then let me stay and die with you."

"Nay."

Tipping my head up, I gazed at him, noting his lake-blue eyes drowning in tears. With my arms about his neck, I met his sweet lips, for one last kiss. He then pulled my hands down, and voice cracking, said, "Goodbye, my Sassenach. Tell our bairn 'bout me, aye?" He forced a smile, and told his cousin, "Take her, Murtagh."

I refused to move. Jamie sighed, and scooping me up in his arms, deposited me on Brimstone's back. Murtagh, climbed into Trom Laighe's saddle, and took my reins, as Jamie slapped my animal's rump. As the beasts moved forward, I watched over my shoulder at my ginger-haired lover until he faded from view.

After about an hour of traveling, Murtagh untied my feet, so I could straddle Brimstone. The pace of the horses sped up now that I was allowed to control the reins.

My captor scowled at me. "Dinna be tryin' to outrun me, Claire. I swore to yer husband to deliver ye to the stones. I'll shoot the horse out from under ye, if I must."

"I don't doubt it," I muttered angrily.

We rode in silence all the way to the majestic monoliths, but my brain was all the while conjuring up a plan to thwart my husband. I'd show him.

Murtagh tethered the horses, and helped me down from my animal. "Go to, Lass. I expect ye ken what must be doon."

I swatted his hand away, and walked toward the stones, glaring at them. Looking back at my dour warden, I huffed and placed my hands on the face of the nearest. The wind howled, and the humming began. The last thing I heard was a startled gasp from Murtagh, as I shimmered before him, traveling through the rift and on to another time plane.

# # # # #

Murtagh returned early that evenin', leadin' Trom Laighe. I wondered where Brimstone had got to, but I wished to hear his report first. "Ye were right, Jamie. I didna believe it was true, but I saw wi' my own eyes. The Lass was gone. I waited an hour to be certain. So, I expect it went weel."

We walked t'gether to the stable, when I asked, "Where is Brimstone?"

"Och … sorry to say, the beast got spooked by a buck as ran across our path. I had all I could do to rein in my own horse, and Brimstone, I'm afeared, galloped away back toward the hill. I imagined ye'd want me here to be at your side, and no traipsin' 'bout the highlands searchin' for the bluidy mare."

"Ah, weel. By this time day next, we'll all be fertilizin' the field wi' our blood. What need of horses will we have then, aye?" I handed my flask of whiskey to my godfather. He took a good swig and passed it back to me.

"Jamie, I just wanted ye to know, ye did the right thing. Claire was a great woman and healer. I ken as ye loved her dearly, but this is nay a place for her. Ye canna defend yerself and protect her as weel."

"Aye." Claire and our child were safe, but still I fell to my knees and wept at the loss o' her. Murtagh stayed wi' me 'til my tears dried, and I was no ashamed.