All I did today was listen to Pandora and watch Big Time Audition and then this drabble thing happened.

The door shut softly and the sounds of Gustavo Rocque's meltdown outside died down slowly until the Knights' living room was immersed in total silence. The four boys started at their shoes for a few minutes before Mrs. Knight cleared her throat.

"I think we've all had quite enough excitement for one day," she said calmly as she stood up. "I'll go get my coat and then I'll start with the rides home. Anyone who wants one should meet me out by the car."

Carlos grabbed Logan's arm and dragged him out the door before Mrs. Knight even had a chance to exit the living room. She shook her head and laughed quietly to herself.

Once she was gone, James stood from his spot on the couch and walked over to Kendall who had stood up. He stepped so close that Kendall's breath caught in his throat. Kendall could see unshed tears building up in James' eyes and threatening to fall.

"You don't deserve this," James mumbled hoarsely. "You don't want this. I've been working at this for years and I want this more than anything. But I guess that doesn't matter." James laughed sadly. "All that matters is his stupid fire. I don't even know what that means!"

Kendall shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He didn't know how to reply to James, but James felt that Kendall's silence was enough of a reply for him.

"I hate you right now. I really do," James continued. "And I swear to God, you'll never hear from me again if you call him up tomorrow and take him up on that offer."

Kendall opened his mouth to reply, not too sure of exactly what he was going to say, but James was out the door before Kendall's brain wanted to cooperate with his mouth.

Mrs. Knight and Katie walked through the living room towards the door without turning to him.

"We're gonna pick up some dinner," Mrs. Knight called from the doorway. "You want us to pick you up anything."

"Nah, I'll just get a sandwich or something," Kendall replied.

"Alright," his mom said as the door slammed shut.

Kendall looked around the living room helplessly. He didn't have any idea what the hell he was going to do. He knew that there was no way that he was going to LA. He wasn't interested in being famous. He'd rather just stick around in Minnesota for the rest of his life and play hockey.

It wasn't like he didn't like he was after anonymity; there wasn't a place in town that he could go without someone recognizing him and telling him to tell his mother that they said hi. If he left town, he'd miss all of the people who actually knew him when he went to school or went shopping or went to the rink.

And he'd miss James.

Sure, he'd miss Logan and Carlos too, but there was something different about James. His feelings for James were deeper in a way that he didn't really want to own up to.

Kendall sat down on the couch and buried his head in his hands.

The guys always talked about what they were going to do when they got older. Kendall was going to play hockey for the Minnesota Wild, Logan was going to be the doctor, and Carlos was always changing his mind about what he wanted to do. But James never changed his mind. James didn't know how it was going to happen and he didn't seem to care. He was determined to make it happen.

And Kendall wrecked that for him.

It was funny. Kendall had found the ride to the audition to try to make James' dreams come true. He'd convinced James to go into said audition. He'd stood up to the jerk producer who had broken James down further than anyone ever had.

And the producer wanted Kendall. He offered a chance Kendall everything that James ever wanted.

Kendall knew that there had to be a way that he could share it with James and he'd be damned if he didn't find it.