Title: Payback
Author: drummerdancer
Verse: None
Characters/Pairings: Edward, Alphonse
Prompt 244: Body Swap
Word Count: 488
Rating: T
Summary: Edward couldn't understand Alphonse's problem with his selection.

"What do you mean 'I can't fix it'?" he yelled hysterically, gesturing wildly at his body. "I can't just go around looking like this!"

"Calm down, calm down," Edward scolded, hiding his smirk behind his gloved hand placed strategically on his lips. He was pacing back and forth in front of Alphonse, his movements casual while his mind worked hurriedly. "I said it would be difficult; not impossible."

"Yeah, but difficult for you is basically equivalent to impossible for everybody else!"

Edward didn't reply to that, causing Alphonse to throw his hands up in exasperation. The expression on his face…Edward couldn't help but snicker. This was too funny.

Alphonse, however, was having none of that. He whipped his head around, his fake blonde hair hitting him in his face.

"Shut up, Edward," Alphonse said hotly. "This isn't funny."

"I-no…you're right…it's not…" Edward was a lost cause at that point. He was by that point hunched over, letting the tears of laughter escape his eyes as he wiped at them. Alphonse, meanwhile, looked ready to deck him.

"Stop laughing!" he screeched, his voice going just a little too high to be considered masculine. It was probably for the best, Edward reasoned. He'd need to adapt.

"Alright, alright!" Edward let out the last of his laughs before he straightened up, wiping at the remains of the water in his eyes. It had been awhile since he had laughed that hard, and it had felt good to feel that deep belly ache in his stomach. But now it was time to get back to work; Alphonse needed a new body (his real body, not a fake), and they needed to get back on the road soon. But until then…

"Which mannequin would you have rather had?" Edward asked, gesturing around at the piles of white dolls scattered on the ground. It was somewhat odd to see the fake doll he had moved Al's soul to moving around and talking, but he figured a mannequin would blend in much better than the six foot tall suit of armor had. Though, why Al didn't want to be the one Ed picked out, he'd never know.

Al put a fake plastic hand on his chin (her chin, Edward smirked) and pretended to think. "Oh, gee I don't know…how about a male mannequin. You know, the ones that don't have breasts?"

"Aww, are you sur-"

"Yes, Edward. I'm positive."

Ed sighed. "Alright. Which one do you want?"

Al glanced around, then stopped and picked up one that Edward had deliberately placed in the corner. He groaned as he saw the evil look on Al's face grow.

"I want this one," he said, looking all too pleased at his discovery.

Edward pouted. "Are you sure? That one's…kinda…tall…"

"Yep. Positive."

Ed learned an important lesson that day. Payback was a bitch.

A bitch that was six feet, five inches tall.