"Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday, dear Kamon..."

I sighed, and sunk lower into the table.

"Happy birthday..."

I closed my eyes, and made a wish.

"To you..."

Kill me.

"Now blow out the candles, Kamon," Mom said, smiling that worn smile disappointed housewives wear. I blew them out. No use making her even more disappointed.

"Well? Did you make a wish?"

I forced a smile for her, but she knew it was fake.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did."

"Good." She hugged me, giving me a kiss on the cheek, and I instantly felt guilty for being so apathetic. If I wasn't happy, I didn't have to take her down with me.

I grabbed the knife and cut into the cake with gusto. Mom had outdone herself this time; if anything could drown my discontent, it was empty calories, and I wasn't about to say no to that. And what a discontent: my 16th birthday, and the only person to attend is my mom. My only friend is nowhere to be found, and dad is probably passed out in front of the television. Did he know it was his only child's 16th birthday? Probably not. Or maybe he did, and just couldn't work past that infectious apathy of his to do anything about it.

While I was bemoaning my lot and commencing with the discontent drowning, a pair of arms wrapped in a bright parka lunged before me, and hung tightly to my chest.

"Kamon! I'm so, so sorry I'm late for your party, I was-"

"That's fine, Annie. It's alright."

I turned around, and smiled at the source of my frustration, and my joy. The girl next door.

We had known each other all our lives, and she was my best friend- still would've been if I had any friends other than her. She's also been a longtime object of affection, ever since I realized my dick was good for more than one thing... though she never seemed to have an interest in being anything but friends, and I was too much of a coward to do anything about that. So friends we were.

Mom stepped forwards as I gazed at her, and did motherly things, like saying "Sit down Annie", and "Have some cake", and "So good to have you."

I was just about to grin and be happy, when my dad walked into the room. I almost felt special- he decided to shower for this occasion. Though he still didn't bother to shave his beard.

When he was about 19, Dad was studying at the university to be a lawyer. In some sort of geneology project, he finds out he's the great great great grandnephew twice removed or something like that of Red, so therefore he should drop everything and go try the Gym Leaders to become the Pokemon Champion. Anyone with half a brain would see exactly where this is going. Anyone with half a brain would be wrong- Dad was offered a perfectly fine Pidgeotto by his uncle, just as a starter, but no, Dad has to do things the hard way, so Dad treks out into the woods and with nothing but a pokeball and the clothes on his back, looking for the meanest, strongest pokemon he could find. With just a pokeball and nothing to whittle down the wild pokemon, anyone with half a brain would expect he'd be lucky to walk away with a caterpie, but once again anyone with half a brain would be wrong- it was sortof Dad's thing. Ater six days of roughing it, Dad comes out of the forest with pretty much the strongest, fastest scyther that ever lived. So, he heads off and trounces his first gym leader, gets his first badge, doesn't catch any new pokemon. Same for the second, same for the third, same for the fourth, still just toting around his one pokemon and beating tough trainers with 4, 5, even 6 pokemon.

Now dad gets to his 5th gym leader, and what do you know, it's a rock type gym leader. So, rather than doing what anyone with half a brain would do and catching maybe a water type pokemon- because obviously, Dad doesn't have half a brain- he decides to go off and train for 3 days. Meanwhile, he meets up with some young journalist girl and tells her his story. While he was lacking a good portion of his brain, Dad was apparently quite the charmer, and they spend the night together. Next day, Dad goes off to challenge the gym leader, and comes back with a shiny new badge. The journalist writes a report on him, and there we go- instant celebrity. His battle with the next gym leader was televised, even, and with each successive gym leader he grew more and more famous, that by the 8th the whole country was riding on his coattails.

He lost. To top it off, in the process of losing, his scyther lost most of its left blade; it would never be able to fight again. At least, not at the level it had before.

Dad gave up, went home, and 4 months later he had the decency to put a ring on the finger of the pregnant journalist he spent the night with before he earned his 5th badge.

Now he's always trying to get me to follow in his footsteps, succeed where he failed. I just want to be a journalist.

But here he's standing before me, holding a big white crate with airholes in it, and a big grin on his face.

That'd better be a meowth.

I could see Annie bite her lip, as Mom walked into the next room. Dad had been haranguing me more and more on going for the Pokemon League Championships, and we'd practically come to blows over it. I resolved to leave the room if this were some halfassed scheme to give me some battling pokemon and somehow convince me to follow in his footsteps. He placed the crate on the table in front of me, and I opened it up, glaring. Inside were two eevee, as well as a glass case holding various evolutionary stones.

I stood up so fast the chair fell over behind me, and stormed out of the house.

Annie found me two minutes later, huddled under a tree. She always knew where to find me.

I looked up, studying her a moment. She wore bright clothing- pinks and oranges and yellows- but somehow, even with that, over a sylvan, freckled face, flushed and panting, she managed to look serene. In her arms she held the two eevee- I was annoyed at her for bringing them, but that was quickly subsumed by my gratefulness that someone had followed me. I didn't know what I was going to do out here if she hadn't.

Clutching the squirming pokemon to her chest, she motioned back with her head, smiling. "Come on. Let's go back to my house."

I paced around her room, fuming, while she sat on the ground and toyed with the eevee.

"Y'know, it pisses me off, all these jabs at me to go off for the championships. Really, what the hell am I supposed to do with these things?"

Annie laughed at the eevee's antics. "Well, they are cute."

She was certainly right about that. Both were probably very young; one was spritely and energetic, attacking the sleeve of Annie's parka, while the other lop-eared one was rolling around, clumsily chasing its own tail. Still, I was too pissed off to admit it, and I spoke up more bitterly than I should have. "Well, if you like them so much, you can have them."

She beamed at me, shrugging off my bitterness with her positive energy. "Why don't you take one, and I'll take the other? That way they'll be like sisters."

"Can you even tell what gender they are?" I smirked, and she rolled her eyes, ignoring my comment.

"Come on, you don't have to battle it or anything. Just don't throw it in a lake."

I sighed, collapsing onto the bed. "You know I wouldn't do that."

"I donno, you can be pretty stupid when you get all mad like you do."

I shot up immediately, glaring. "I do not!"

She laughed, speaking facetiously. "Support for my theory continues to accrue."

Grumbling and knowing she was right, I walked over, and picked up the dopey one. It looked at me, cocking its head, oblivious to my bitterness.
"Fine, fine. You can have that one, and I'll take this one... and I promise you, I won't throw it in a lake."

After a few more hours of talking, I headed back to my house, where I found dear old dad perched firmly on the couch, next to his decaying scyther. Its head darted back as soon as I entered the room, looking at me, then slowly turned back to the TV. Its eyes were sharp, and strong... and dead. It was a beaten warrior: a ferocious, proud animal, brought to its last limb. Literally, in one way. This creature lived for battle- it was almost a pity, seeing it stagnate like that.

Dad looked back, slower, and spoke to contrast the scyther's unwillingness to do so. "Well, have you decided which... wait, what happened to the other one?"

He was referring to the eevee in my arms.

"I gave it to Annie."

That managed to prompt him to detach himself from the stained leather exterior: I felt almost proud for provoking such a feat.

"You what? Do you realize how expensive those things are? Besides, how are you going to take the Poemon League Championships with just one pokemon?"

I glared at him, raising an eyebrow and speaking ironically. "Gee, that didn't stop you, dad."

"Yeah, well, look where I am now- I'm not going to let the same thing happen to you, dammit. I want you to do this. For me."

He was trying to be nice now, but I still continued glaring, wracking my brains to think up a snappy retort.

"No."

Oh, yeah, I'll bet he's reeling from that one.

Having nothing more to say, and not wanting to be in the same building as this guy, I turned on my heel and stalked out into the night air, hating him with all the hate a 16 year old can muster.