Author's note: This story is based off an idea given to me by Daydreamer2425. It was something she pitched to me a while ago and somehow I came across the message again and thought 'why not?' it's a great story line based off the episode Acceptable Risk. Again, Ed is OOC. Sorry! It's just something I do to add angst to the story. It's not as good as I had hoped but it's all I could do. My words don't seem to flow as well as they used to. This story takes place somewhere after Lou's passing and before Jules and Sam get back together. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in the story.
Warning: Not beta-ed. Any grammar and spelling mistakes are all mine. Sorry!
Sam Braddock rode his bike home in the pouring rain. He had just left the hospital where Kevin 'Wordy' Wordsworth was spending the night because of his actions or inaction. He was supposed to have his back...
***Flashback***
Sam was running after suspect with Wordy behind him. "Stop!" He called out with his gun raised. The lady turned around, the gun in her hand raising to shoot. Sam was about to pull his trigger when he saw for the first time that the lady was barefoot. He froze as the memory of his little sister being slammed by a truck flashed into his mind. It was the split second that the lady needed.
Three members of Team One arrived at that moment. Ed and Jules from the other direction and Wordy from behind him. They all saw Sam hesitate. The woman fired her gun. "SAM!" Wordy slammed him out of the way and caught the bullet meant for Sam in the collar bone, an exposed area of the Kevlar. Ed and Jules saw their teammates go down and fired their guns simultaneously. The subject was neutralised.
Sam was still in shock of what happened. "What the hell was that, Sam!?" Jules called while Ed applied pressure to Wordy's wound.
"I've got you, Wordy." Ed glared at Sam as he spoke calmly to his friend.
Jules tucked her Kevlar under Wordy's head. "We need EMS immediately." She spoke into her mic.
"Jules, report." Her boss ordered over the radio.
"Wordy took fire in the shoulder. He's losing blood. Ed's keeping pressure."
"Keep him calm. EMS are on their way. Where's Sam?"
"Sam's fine, Boss." Ed growled into his radio.
Greg recognised Ed's tone of voice. He wasn't happy with whatever he believed Sam did. Greg was not looking forward to this afternoon's briefing.
It turned out there wasn't much of a briefing at all. Ed and the team were itching to visit Wordy in the hospital. They insisted the briefing was exactly that; brief. "Look, there's only one person who needs to take responsibility for what happened. Why not let Sam write up a report to explain his actions?" Ed suggested or more like, demanded.
Jules nodded. She felt bad for Sam but he needed to take responsibility for his actions. She had a special place in her heart for Sam, however that didn't mean she should ignore what she saw with her own eyes. Sam had to opportunity to take down the suspect but he didn't and now Wordy was paying the price. "I agree."
"That's not the way we do things." Greg glared at the two of them. They should know better. "We debrief as a team. Sam, what happened?"
"Sam froze. That's what happened. He saw a gun pointed in his direction and he froze. Wordy pushed him out of the way and got shot for it." Ed reported. That was what he saw. Wordy was his closest friend. They were each others best man. They had each others back. Ed liked to put Wordy with new team members because he was good at showing them the ropes. His sensitivity and understanding also made him a great mentor. But Sam wasn't new and he wasn't green. Out of all of them he's had the most combat experience and even though he was the newest on the team he was the most experienced tactical officer after Ed. This is why Ed was so angry. It could've been avoided.
"I was asking Sam." Greg admonished his Team Leader. Ed gestured for Sam to explain himself.
Sam hadn't said a word since leaving the scene. He remained quiet when they waited for Ed and Jules to return from SIU. Not even Spike spoke to him, which wasn't normal. Spike was the most forgiving person he's ever met, but a shooting so soon after losing Lou had got be shocking at best. "I'm sorry." He had whispered softly to his teammate.
Spike looked over at Sam when he didn't. He had heard Sam's soft apology to him while they were waiting for Ed and Jules to return. He wished he had said something then but he was so emotionally stress at the point that any words that came out of his mouth would have been regretful at best. Now that he was calmer he could see something was wrong with Sam. If there is one thing he's learned about the soldier, it was that he was always honest and open about his actions in the field. It's strange for him not to defend himself. "Sam." Spike reached over and gave his arm a squeeze, getting his attention. He nudged his head towards the others, telling him everyone was waiting for him.
Sam sighed before nodding. "It's as Ed says; I froze. It's been a while since I've had a gun pointed at my face. I didn't know what to do." Spike frowned at that. That wasn't true and if the rest of the team wasn't so emotionally affected by what's happened they would've remembered as well. Sam was held hostage at gunpoint and then used as a shield with a grenade held in his face by Volcek.
"Is that all you have to say for yourself, Sam?" Greg wasn't happy with the explanation.
"It's what happened." Sam said simply. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah." Ed got up to leave. "So is Wordy. I'm going to see Wordy before visiting hours are up. Anyone want to catch a ride?"
Jules shook her head, disappointed before getting up as well. "I'll meet you there."
Spike looked at Sam. "I have my car. You want a ride to the hospital?" Sam rode his bike to work every morning. Once in a while he would accept a ride from his teammates but he wasn't sure he should accept today.
"I'm good, Spike. Thanks. I might head straight home. Text me about Wordy?" Sam requested.
Spike nodded, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "Sure. Boss, do you need a ride?"
Greg nodded. "Yeah, thanks Spike." He knocked on the table to get Sam's attention. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow's a new day."
"Sure, Boss." Sam sat there in silence for the next hour or so. He was waiting. He wanted to visit Wordy but not when the rest of the team was there. He looked at his watch, hoping he had left enough time.
Wordy laughed groggily at the jokes the team was making about the person who gets shot buys the drinks. He had to admit, he probably was the one who got injured the most on the team. Everyone was more relaxed now that they knew Wordy would be fine. Even Ed seemed to be more himself. "Where's Sam?" Wordy asked them.
Spike answered when nobody else seemed to volunteer. "He went home. He's beat."
"Is he okay?" Wordy asked, worried.
Ed scoffed, "You're the one who got shot."
Wordy rolled his eyes. "I know that, but it's not like him to freeze the way he did. Did he tell you what happened?"
"He froze when the suspect pulled her gun on him." Even as Jules said it, something felt wrong.
"That's not like Sam." But Wordy was too groggy to think beyond that.
"No, it's not, but it's what Ed and Jules saw and that's what's being put down in the case report." Greg admitted sadly. "Anyway, we should leave you to rest." He said noticing Wordy's eyes drifting closed. They said their goodbyes and left quietly.
Sam was standing at the foot of Wordy's bed. His teammate was asleep because of the painkillers. He had asked the doctor how he doing. He would make a quick recovery because of the successful surgery. Sam was glad. He wouldn't forgive himself if Wordy's injury caused any permanent damage. "I'm sorry." He whispered quietly. That was all he said. He didn't leave until a nurse came in to inform him that visiting hours were officially over. He'd have to come back in the morning. Sam took one last look at Wordy before leaving.
Wordy opened his eyes a little at a woman's voice. His vision was blurry but he thought he saw the back of a man, someone he knew, leaving his room. Sam? He fell back asleep.
Sam was soaked to the bones by the time he arrived home. The rain wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the freezing cold wind. He got into the shower and turned on the warm water, giving his shivering body some relief but as soon as the water was turned off he was shivering again. Sam got into his pyjamas and turned up the heat in his apartment. He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep but it seemed his body had enough for the day.
Sam tossed in his bed uncomfortable at the unusual warmth there. The events of the day and the heat conjured memories he'd rather forget. He was looking down at the sandals at his feet. Where was his sister? Annie? The scene changed to the events of this afternoon. He was chasing the subject. His focus wasn't on her when she turned around but on her feet. Why was she bare feet? He looked back up at the woman's face and saw his baby sister only she was grown up. Before he could even register a thing, his sister fired at him. Sam bolted up in his bed, sweating profusely. "Annie." He gasped. Sam got off his bed and rushed to his bathroom, washing his face with cold water. He could barely recognise himself when he looked in the mirror. Tears came to his eyes as his baby sister's angelic face came to mind. It's been almost two decades since it happened. He didn't know something as simple as seeing a woman with bare feet could bring back a memory so vividly that it seemed like it only happened yesterday. Sam towel off and went back to his room. His clock read 3.30. In an hour and a half he'd have to be at headquarters. There was no way he could fall back asleep so he got into his gym gear and headed out for a run, hoping the cold autumn air would clear his head and ease the heat.
The day started out in the usual manner, minus Wordy. Ed decided on a less grueling routine which suited Sam fine. He was expecting some sort of punishment after yesterday's botched case. Sam was feeling better as the day went on. He was partnered with Spike, which was a relief as the rest of the team were still angry with him. He thought he had come a long way with the team since he joined. He learned from each of them. He wasn't as quick to jump to a lethal solution. He learned negotiation skills from Greg and Jules while Ed showed what was needed to be a team leader. Wordy took care of them all and Spike…well, there was no way he could do what Spike does. He thought he had become a solid member of the team but it seemed like his teammates thought otherwise. Sam shook himself from the depressing thoughts. The team had a right to be mad. He put them all in danger.
The day passed without any major action. It wasn't until Sam was riding home that he started feeling off again. There was a tickle in his throat and the cold air seemed to have more of a bite. He brushed it off, thinking it was just his body adjusting to the changing of the seasons.
Sam sighed when he walked into the change room and found Ed there by himself. "Good morning." He said quietly, avoiding looking at Ed directly. Just because the day before went smoothly didn't mean Ed wasn't still angry. Ed barely gave Sam a glance before slamming shut his locker door and leaving the change room. Sam let out the cough he was holding in into his forearm. The tickle in his throat was getting worse but he had other things to worry about then a cold. He wondered if things were going to go back to normal any time soon.
Today was opposite to the day before. It looked like Ed was in one of his crazy moods and ran an equally crazy morning routine. By the time they were done, Sam was more exhausted than ever. It was strange because usually Ed's routines were refreshing not exhausting. It was silly to exhaust the team before the day even begun. The coughs were coming more often now. Often enough to draw concern from Spike. "Man, you look awful." He told him. "Maybe you should sit out today." He suggested as they walked to the showers. Ed was behind them and heard Spike's comment.
"If he can't handle my workouts, what's he doing in SRU?" Ed quipped as he passed them.
Sam gave a sad smile. "I'll be fine, Spike. Thanks." He said before grabbing his towel.
Spike waited for Sam to be out of hearing before growling at his team leader. "I know you're angry at Sam but maybe you should cut him some slack."
Ed looked at him, incredulously. "He almost got Wordy killed."
"You think I don't know that? How is your attitude helping the matter? Have you even tried to sit down and talk to the guy?" Spike grilled out through his teeth. "We all make mistakes, Ed. Sam's a good guy. Think it's time you start being a team leader again and take a good look at Sam!" Spike left for the showers, leaving Ed to think about what he'd just said.
"Hot Call. Team One." Winnie's calm voice sounded over through the speakers.
"Great." Ed said, frustrated more than ever now.
Sam quickly toweled off and got into his gear. His movements were sluggish, he could feel it and he felt hot even though it was less than 51 degrees out there. "Let's go!" Ed called. Sam shook himself off and followed the team.
"You got this, Sam." Spike slapped him on the back grinning. He couldn't help but smile back. He was his only friend right now.
His name was Brett Wilson and he was 13 years old. Greg was negotiating with him while Ed tried to get a tactical view of the situation. Sam was with Greg because Greg requested it. His excuse was that he wanted Sam to get more negotiating practice but the truth was, he didn't want to pair Sam up with Ed or Jules yet. The Wordy situation was still raw.
Sam listened to the boy on the ledge tell his story. His name might as well as be Sam Braddock. "She's gone and it's my fault. I was supposed to be watching her. I didn't see her go into our backyard. She was floating in the pool by the time I found her." The boys sobbed. "My parents won't talk to me. I see the look in their eyes. They hate me. They wish it was me."
"Brett, that's not true." Greg tapped his earpiece. "My teammates are telling me that your parents are on their way. They don't blame you."
"LIAR!" Brett yelled, pushing himself up to stand on the ledge.
"Brett, you're making me nervous." Greg took a step.
"Don't come any closer." He screamed.
"Boss, I'm almost there with Mr and Mrs Wilson." Spike told his boss. "His mom says to tell him that she doesn't blame him. She didn't mean to push him away."
"Your mom says she doesn't blame you. She wasn't pushing you away she just didn't know how to deal with her grief." Greg relayed, then spoke quietly into his mic. "Ed, how are you doing on your end? I'm not sure I'm talking this one down."
"All the windows in this building are wielded shut to prevent suicide." Ed said, ironically.
Greg sighed. He couldn't connect to Brett. "Tell me about your sister. What's her name?" His head swung towards the voice. It was Sam. Sam didn't even seem to realise what he was doing.
"Sam..." Greg was about to tell him to stand down when the boy replied.
"Annalise."
Sam gasped a little at the name. He thought the boy was going to say Annie. "How old was she?"
"She just turned 5 last month."
"I bet you were her favourite person in the world." Sam saw him nod. "I had two little sisters."
Everyone paused at that, including Brett. He turned a little on the ledge so that he could see Sam to see if he was lying. "Had?"
Sam nodded. "Natalie and Annie."
Jules shrugged when Ed mouthed Annie? She'd heard Sam talk about Natalie but not Annie.
"When I was nine, I took Annie to the park with me. She was four years old. My parents weren't home and Natalie was at a sleepover." Sam spoke as if he was reliving it all. He smiled. "She begged me to take her to the park and I could never say no to Annie. She was my baby sister."
"What happened to her?" Brett asked. Greg let the story continue. Sam had made a connection with the boy.
A tear drop fell. "I was holding her hand. We were standing at the lights, ready to cross the road when a speed truck drove up the curb we were was standing on. I looked down and she wasn't there, but her sandals were. The truck hit her so hard, it knocked her right out of her shoes." Sam didn't hear the gasp over his earpiece.
Ed looked at Jules in horror. Jules had tears running down her cheeks. "Aw Sam."
"I turned to find her and found her lying on the footpath. Her feet were bare. She wasn't moving."
Ed closed his eyes at that. He covered his mouthpiece. "The suspect that shot Wordy. She was bare feet." Jules nodded. "Damn it!"
"She died on impact. I don't remember much after that." Sam wiped away his tears. "I knew my dad blamed me. She was my responsibility. I was the man of the house when he was away."
"But you were only nine." Brett spoke up, stunned.
Sam nodded, "That didn't matter to my dad. I was the only son. It was my job to take care of my sisters. The day after Annie's funeral, my dad left on an assignment. My mom did what army wives did. It was their way of coping. They made themselves so busy they couldn't think about it and if they kept busy for long enough the pain would fade."
"What did you do?" Brett asked. He wanted to know. He wanted to know what he could do to not feel the pain of losing his sister.
"I cried with Natalie. We sat on Annie's bed and just cried." Sam shook his head. "I wasn't even sure I would stop crying, but I had someone in my life who told me something I will never forget." He looked up and saw that Brett had turned around completely. He was still on the ledge but he was facing him. Sam took a step forward. "Mary Ann was our housekeeper. She came into my room one night and sat on my bed, hugging me. She said, 'I was Miss Annie's hero.'" Sam smiled at the memory. "I was her hero so I had to dedicate my life to being that hero. She said, if I could do that, then her death won't be for nothing." The tears started coming again. "So every life I save…I save because of her…for her." Sam didn't even realise he was close enough to pull Brett off the ledge but he didn't do that. Instead he held out his hand. "Live for Annalise."
Brett reached out and took Sam's hand. "Well done, Sam." Greg smiled at the scene in front of him. Sam hugged the boy, mourning the loss of both their sisters.
Sam leaned against the truck, watching the Wilsons be escorted away by the unis. Jules went with them to handle the paperwork at the police station. He smiled when Brett turned around. He nodded to the boy. Sam let the adrenaline of the case drain from him. It was like his body held on for him to save Brett before he would give out. It started with a coughing fit that left him exhausted, followed by abnormal heat sapping his strength. The team had finished handing over the case to the unis and were gathering up their gear. He knew he should be helping but he couldn't get his legs to move. He squinted when he saw someone walking towards him. It was Ed. He sighed, surrendering himself to a lecture about team work and doing his part. "Good job, Sam." Sam frowned. Not sure if he heard right. He thought he heard Ed tell him he did a good job but that couldn't be right. "Sam?"
"Huh?" Sam covered his mouth when another coughing fit wracked his lungs.
Ed started to worry. This wasn't a normal cough. When Sam finally stopped he looked worse than he did a minute ago. "Sam, I think we should get you to a doctor." Ed took him by the arm, ready to help him into the truck but Sam pulled his arm away.
"I'm fine." He croaked, "It's just a cough."
Spike saw the interaction between his team leader and his teammate. At first he thought he should leave them to talk but it looked like Sam was trying to get away from Ed now. Anger started rising. He stormed over to them. "Give him a break, Ed!" Spike shoved Ed's hand away, taking a good look at Sam and immediately seeing something was wrong. He placed a hand against Sam's forehead. "You're burning up! You need a doctor."
"That's what I said." Ed told him.
Spike looked at him guiltily. "Sorry. I thought you were giving him a hard time again."
Ed shrugged, "I deserved it."
Spike opened the door to the truck. "Get in, Sam. I'm taking you to the hospital."
Sam pushed at the hands trying to manhandle him into the truck. "I'm fine!"
"Sam, you're sick." Ed tried to reason. He turned and waved Greg over.
"Then I'll go home. I'm not going to the hospital!" Sam swung his arms around, not letting anyone touch him.
"What's going on?" Greg asked, taking a good look at Sam. His face was flushed, his eyes were red. Perspiration ran down his neck. "Sam, you need to get checked out."
"You heard the boss." Spike went to grab his arm again but Sam violent shoved him off. "Sam!" He called as he stumbled back.
Sam pushed himself up against the truck. "I'm not going to the hospital! That's where they take dead people!" He slowly slid down the side of the truck. His legs couldn't hold him any longer. "That's where they took Annie." It occurred to them that the negotiation on the rooftop coupled by his high fever was causing Sam to relive the day his sister died. He didn't tell Brett the whole story. "They rolled her away. They wouldn't let me go with her. I tried to take the sheet off her head. She's scared of the dark." Sam pulled his knees to his chest, shaking. "She doesn't like being alone. I tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen. Why wouldn't they listen? She's my baby sister. I had to go with her. She doesn't like being alone."
Spike rubbed his face, not knowing how to handle the situation. He had never seen Sam like this before. It was unnerving. He turned to his boss and team leader. They were looking down at Sam, distressed at the pain they saw in the nine-year-old boy. Greg turned to Ed, letting him handle the situation. Ed nodded, kneeling in front of Sam. "You're a good big brother, Sam." Ed told him. Sam's head came up. The fear and sorrow Ed saw in his eyes tugged at his heart. "You shouldn't have to feel responsible for what happened. You looked after her the only way a nine year old boy knew how to. You were barely old enough to take care of yourself. You parents had no right to put so much responsibility their son and frankly, if the General were here, right now, I would show him what I think of his parenting skills." Ed growled. Then he softened his tone. "Annie would be so proud of you." Sam's eyes widened hopefully at the compliment. "And if she were here now, she would want you to take care of yourself."
Sam wiped at his tears. "I don't like hospitals." He complained, exhausted. His eyes slowly drifting shut.
Ed gently put a hand out and gripped Sam's arm, stopping him from toppling over. He looked up at Greg and Spike. "Any suggestions?" He asked as he edged closer to Sam so that Sam could lean against him.
Spike waved at someone. Greg and Ed turned to see Steve. He must have been the paramedic on the scene. He rushed over with his medical kit. "What happened?" Steve knelt on the other side of Sam and quickly slipped a cuff onto Sam's arm to measure his pulse and blood pressure. He checked his temperature using an ear thermometer. "His temperature's 104. What the hell happened up there?"
"I don't think it's what happened up there." Spike told him. "He's been off for the past couple of days. I just thought it was all the crap…" He shrugged. "Sorry, I should've said something."
"No," Greg shook his head. "I should've notice. It's my job."
"And if I wasn't such a jerk, he would've said something to me." Ed sighed. "Should've known Sam doesn't freeze for no reason."
"His blood pressure is 121 over 80. It's not extremely high but for a healthy young man, it's not great." Steve thought about what he should do. "The fact that he's unconscious tells me…"
"I'm…just…tired." The sleepy voice interrupted Steve. They all chuckled in relief.
"Okay. Against my better judgement, I'm going to let you take him home. Get him in the car and I'll start an IV. He's dehydrated from the fever. Don't leave him alone until the fever's broken." Steve ordered. He prepared the IV while Ed and Spike got Sam into the back of the truck.
"I'll drive them back to Sam's apartment." Ed told Greg. "Might stay there for the night."
Greg knew Ed was feeling guilty. "He'll be fine. You did a good job just now."
"Not as good a job as Sam did up there." Ed looked up at the ten-storey building. "Did you know about his sister?"
"It wasn't in his file." Greg shook his head. "He hides his monsters well."
"You know, I've been wrong a lot about Sam." Ed admitted. "And I'm usually pretty good at reading people."
"That's the thing about Sam." Greg smiled, "You don't have to read him. If asked, he would've told us anything we wanted to know. We just never think to ask."
Ed nodded, thoughtfully, "I'll remember that."
Ed laid a cool cloth across Sam's brow. The young man was sleeping soundly for now. Ed knew it wouldn't last. He could almost hear the rattling in his chest with each breath. He pulled the blanket up to his chest, careful of the IV in his left arm. "Tomorrow's a new day, Sam. I promise."
Spike was in the living room setting up the coffee table. The Chinese food had just arrived. "Food's ready." He said, unnecessarily, handing Ed a plate. Ed frowned at Spike. He was avoiding looking at his team leader. Spike started eating, not saying another word to Ed. They were half way through their meal when Spike finally couldn't hold it in any longer. "How can you do that to Sam? I know he's cocky but he's a good guy. You treated him like he meant to get Wordy shot. He was feeling bad enough already!" Spike's voice was strained from trying to not raise it, in case he woke Sam. "And then you run one of your ridiculous workouts on a day he clearly wasn't up for! I don't understand. Are you blind?!"
Ed waited until Spike was done venting his frustrations. "Are you done?"
Spike had more choice words to say but his mother would wash his mouth out if she found out. "For now."
Ed smiled. Spike and Sam had grown close in the past year. "He is a good guy and I was jerk. I know that. I don't have an excuse for how I've been acting. I was worried about Wordy and I let it get the better of me."
Spike's anger seemed to deflate a little. "You know he probably caught a cold from riding home in the wind and rain that night."
Ed frowned, "I thought he went home before the rain started."
Spike shook his head, rolling his eyes. "You really think he'd go home without checking on Wordy? Wordy told me he thought he saw Sam that night but he wasn't sure because of the pain meds."
"So he waited for us to leave before visiting." Ed groaned, another thing to be guilty about. "Not only did I blame him for Wordy getting shot, I'm ultimately responsible for him being in that bed."
Spike finished his meal and sat back with a bottle of beer. He eyed the guilty expression on Ed's face and sighed. As much as he wanted to leave Ed feeling bad, he didn't want to do to him what he did to Sam. "You didn't know about Sam's sister and the idiot could've taken a cab home instead of riding that stupid bike. I'm tempted to go take it apart right now."
Ed laughed, "I'll help…" He and Spike turned to the room when they heard shuffling. At the same time the doorbell to the apartment rang. "I'll get the door. You check on Sam." Spike nodded.
Sam tossed in his sleep. He kicked off his blanket as the heat seemed to rise. His right hand moved towards his left arm. Something was in it and it was uncomfortable. Spike got there just in time to stop Sam from pulling out the IV. "That's there for a reason, Buddy." Sam frowned as hands tried to hold him down. "It's okay, Sam. It's just me. Good ol' Spike."
Sam's brow furrowed. His eye balls moved under the lids. "He's dead, Sam. Wordy's dead and it's because you were a coward and froze!" Sam jerked, trying to get away from the nightmare. "You don't belong here, Sam." Spike worried when Sam's struggles became more panicked.
"Sam, wake up. It's just a dream."
"NO!" Sam bolted up in his bed, sweating and huffing. He looked around frantically. It was then that Ed walked in with Wordy. They froze at the door when Sam's eyes widened in horror. "I'm sorry!" He shoved off the hands that were holding him and shuffled away. He fell to the ground after stumbling off the other side of the bed, tearing out his IV. He scrambled into the corner of the room and huddled there. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry.." He kept chanting it over and over again, not looking at any of them.
Wordy looked at Sam and then at Ed. "What the hell, Ed?" It was clear that Sam was scared of the Team Leader.
"Yeah, I know I messed up." Ed said as he cautiously approached Sam.
Spike stopped him. "Let me talk to him first. He doesn't have any reason to fear me." It wasn't a jab at Ed. It was just the truth. He crouched close to his friend but not so close to crowd Sam. When he opened his mouth to speak, he started to regret taking over from Ed. Negotiation wasn't his strong point. "Hey, Buddy." He said simply. Sam didn't look up. "Come on, Sam. It's just me. You know I'm harmless." Sam did react to that. Spike smiled sadly at the man who he had only known as strong and cocky. He wasn't cocky right now. He was vulnerable…scared. "Talk to me, Sam."
Sam shook his head, his whole body trembling. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Spike asked. There was nothing Sam had to be sorry for but Sam believed otherwise.
Sam frowned at him, "He's dead. Wordy's dead." How could Spike not know that?
Wordy blinked, stunned. Ed rubbed his eyes. Talk about messing up. "I think you better take over." He told Wordy. Wordy glared at him, silently telling him they were going to have a long talk after this. "Yeah, yeah…get in line."
Wordy approached Spike and tapped him on the shoulder. Spike stood, letting Wordy take over. "Hi Sam."
Sam stared at the person in front of him. His fever was raging now, not allowing him to think straight. "You're not real."
Wordy held out his hand, "Why don't you take my hand and find out?"
Sam shook his head. "You'll disappear. I don't want you to go yet." He wanted to tell Wordy he was sorry for everything before he left this world for good.
"I'm not going anywhere." Wordy tried to convince him but he knew Sam wasn't listening, too far trapped in his nightmare.
"I'm sorry." Sam choked. "You saved me. You weren't supposed to die."
"I'm not dead, Sam." Wordy tried to drill the words into the man. "The boss told me everything. It wasn't your fault. Bad memories have a way of popping into your head at bad times."
"I couldn't think. I couldn't move." Sam continued, desperately trying to convince the ghost in front of him that he didn't mean for it to happen.
"I know. You were transported back to when you were nine. How were you supposed to react?" Wordy held his hand out again. "Take it. I promise I won't disappear." Tentatively, Sam reached out his hand. Ed and Spike held their breath as they waited for him to make contact. They let it out in disappointment when Sam started pulling his hand back but Wordy reached forward and gripped his forearm in his hand before he could. Sam gasped, tugging his arm back when he realised Wordy really was there. "I'm still here." Wordy smiled when Sam's eyes moved from their arms to his head. "Come here." He pulled Sam into his arm. Sam slowly snaked his arms around his friend, daring to believe that it was all real. Wordy winced at the pain in his shoulder but he didn't care. Sam needed this. "See? Did I say i wouldn't disappear?" He would've stayed like this for as long as Sam needed him to but Sam was still trembling and burning up. "Let's get you back into bed." He was sweating from the heat coming off his teammate. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get Sam up with his bad shoulder, he turned to Ed and Spike. "A little help, boys."
Spike rushed over, pulling Sam off Wordy. Wordy got up to let Ed assist on the other side. Ed leaned over, taking Sam's arms when the young man flinched. "I know that's just the fever but it still makes me feel like crap." Sam eyed him, suspiciously. "This isn't a trick. I just want to get you into bed." Ed winced when Sam raised his eyebrows at him, but was also amused to see that Sam's humour seemed to be in tact. "That came out wrong."
Spike was trying to hold his laughter. "Poor guy is so confused."
Ed shook his head. "Any of this gets out and I will set a workout routine specifically for the two of you." He glared at his grinning teammates.
Sam dropped his head against Spike's shoulder. "Too tired to work out."
"Alright, Sam. Bedtime." Ed said, pulling his arm across his shoulder and hefted him to his feet with Spike's help. They got him into the bed and covered him up.
"What about this?" Wordy held up the end of the IV. Sam was the only one in their team with medical field training. "What's the chances of Steve making a house call?"
Ed examined the bag of fluids. "It's over halfway empty. Let's monitor him and see how he goes. We'll wake him every few hours to get him to drink. It's time we get him back on his feet and back out there saving lives."
"For Annie." Spike smiled.
Wordy nodded, "For Annie."
Two days later…
Sam walked into the barn, finally over the cold that bordered on pneumonia. It felt good to be back. He felt lighter, like a huge burden had been taken off his shoulders. Annie was the one person in his life that he rarely talked about. He thought it would hurt too much to talk about. It turned out that talking about it was what he needed. Maybe Wordy getting shot was a blessing in disguise. It all seemed to work out well in the end. Wordy would be back in a week or so on light duty. He was given a pass for the morning workout and hence was allowed to come in later. He got changed into his gear and headed for the briefing room.
"Attention!" Sam jumped to attention, even though it wasn't something they did at SRU. The whole of Team One was standing at attention, including Wordy who shouldn't be back yet. "At ease!" Greg ordered.
"Sir?" Sam asked, standing at ease with his hands behind his back and his legs at shoulder with apart.
Ed walked up to him and handed him a plaque with a picture on it. "In honour of Annabelle Braddock."
Sam held the precious plaque. A tear dropped onto Annie's photo. He looked up at Ed. "I don't understand."
"We got the photo from Natalie. From now on, every life Team One saves will not only be in honour of our fallen comrades but of Annie as well. She's why you save lives so we're honouring that." Ed nodded to him, smiling.
Sam took a few breaths and gathered himself before he spoke. "Thank you." His thumb brushed away the tear drop on the plaque. "You don't know how much this means to me."
"Her story saved a life." Greg said, proudly.
"You should hang it up next to Lou." Spike told him. Sam looked at Lou's plaque and then back at Annie's. It would an honour but it wasn't right. He shook his head, "No, this is enough. The wall is for our fallen teammates. They gave their lives in the line of duty. I'll take this home." He smiled at his team. "I thought I was joining a team when I applied for SRU. I didn't know I was signing up for a family."
"That's us!" Spike cheered, walking up to hug the man. "And don't ever forget it!" He thumped Sam's chest making him cough. "Oops, sorry man." He grimaced as Jules pulled him away, roughly.
Jules hugged him as well. "I'm sorry. I was a bitch." She whispered in his ear.
Sam chuckled, softly. "You're only ever a sexy sniper chick to me." Jules smacked his shoulder, playfully glaring at him.
Greg smiled at him. It was strange how Greg could say so much with that one smile. We're proud of you.
"Never second guess yourself, Sam and never let anyone question your actions..." Wordy thought about what he was saying. "Unless it's SIU, in which case you have to answer."
Sam laughed, shaking the man's hand. "Thanks, Wordy."
It was Ed's turn. Everyone left the room, knowing these two needed to talk. "I don't know if you heard me the last few times but I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was a jerk."
Sam gave a short laugh. "Yeah, I think I vaguely remember you saying that. I tend to remember things that borderline a miracle."
Ed glared at him, "Wiseass."
Sam held up the plaque. "This more than makes up for all the crap that's happened in the past week, so stop apologising."
Ed held out his hand. "One day, you're going to lead a team here at SRU and you're going to do one hell of a job, but for now, you're meant to be on Team One."
Sam gripped Ed's hand, "Nowhere else I'd rather be." They walked out to the main foyer together.
Team One was back on track and ready to tackle another day.
The End.