Set after Grace

Feelings Tucked Away

Major Samantha Carter sighed. Finally after being in the infirmary for a few days, Janet had released her.

She'd been so confused when she was on the ship. And the hallucinations that she had had. She blushed remembering the kiss that she had imagined with Jack O'Neill. Yeah like that was ever going to happen. He was her CO. And it really wasn't conducive to have day dreams like that. Major concussion or not.

And then she'd called him 'Jack' when she woke up. He'd been shocked that was certain. And she had been pretty embarrassed. Of course he wasn't her hallucination from the ship. He was the real Jack. The one she couldn't have. A small part of her had wanted to stay on the ship, even if he wasn't real.

Sam shook her head to clear her thoughts. No she shouldn't be thinking like that, it would only cause herself pain.

*****

'Hey.' 'Jack.' 'Excuse me?' Nice going O'Neill she was missing for four days you could have given her a break Jack thought to himself. And for crying out loud she had suffered a massive concussion, he should have been thankful she remembered who he was at all. It had been a knee jerk reaction he had realized. Hearing her name on his lips…it did things to him, things that he knew he shouldn't feel.

Jack sat in Carter's lab playing with a yo-yo and trying not to concentrate on the female to whom it belonged…and failing miserably.

"Sir?" The sudden voice asked.

"Oh uh Carter didn't realize you were up and around yet." Jack said jumping up as she walked in the door.

An awkward silence passed between the CO and his 2IC.

"Sir I wanted to talk to you." She said stiffening slightly.

"Oh?" Jack asked raising his eyebrow. They didn't do that…talk that is. They only skirted around issues that related to them.

Carter swallowed nervously and continued. "Sir I know three years ago we agreed that our feelings would not leave that room but…um…wow this is hard…I just…I want…"

Jack started shifting nervously. This is so not what I though she wanted to talk to me about he thought. "Listen Carter…where did this come from?" He asked confused.

"When I was on the ship sir I realized what I want, what I've wanted for years in fact. I want…"

"Uh Carter this is flattering and all" Jack said interrupting her. Please don't say what I think your going to say he thought. "But that was three years ago and a lot has changed and uh I just think we've both moved on." Lying through your teeth O'Neill Jack thought to himself.

A flicker of light slowly died in Carter's sparkling blue eyes but she continued. For her own peace of mind she needed to know this. "Sir you must have realized how much I've admired you over the years." Hero worship that's all it was he convinced himself.

"Sure Carter but we're friends and there's regulations." He said as he moved to fumble with one of her doohickeys.

"What if I resigned?" Carter asked as she moved to stand beside him.

You're sure as Hell not going to give up your career for me Jack thought to himself.

"Carter I think it's a good idea for us to put this." He said waving his hand around the room. "Behind us and just forget this ever came up." Jack finally looked her in the eye.

"Are you sure?" She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Yeah."

"Wow do I feel like an idiot." Sam said as she looked at the floor.

"Hey Carter it's okay. We're good." Jack said as he patted her shoulder and shot her his Jack grin, the very one that had made her fall in love with him in the first place.

Yeah Jack how the hell can you have moved on, when all you see is her? He asked himself as he walked out the door, leaving Carter to watch him go.

*****

Sam was calling herself all kinds of a fool. She practically threw herself at her CO and he obviously didn't feel that way for her anymore. She had been finally about to get some resolution to the…thing between them since the day they meet. But then she guessed she had gotten the answer to her question, he didn't see her like that anymore. Obviously all those years ago when he had said he cared for her more then he should, he had been able to make himself stop feeling those feelings for her. While her's had only strengthened, and had filled her heart so completely that she wasn't sure that she wanted someone who wasn't Jack O'Neill.

She wanted him, him alone and the incident on the Prometheus made her realize that she could have it if she wanted it. Just her hallucinations hadn't taken into account Jack having moved on.

For crying out loud Sam get over it! She lectured herself.

Sam sighed. She needed to do something to get her mind off her feelings for her CO. Maybe it was time to have Mark set her up on that blind date after all.

*****

Jack knew he had hurt her but it was for the best. Carter didn't need him, he was an old man for crying out loud!

She deserved someone who could give her everything she had every wanted. And Jack came with so much extra baggage. And he was so much older then her. She should have someone who hadn't seen what he had seen, who hadn't done the things that he had done.

That didn't mean he didn't love her though. He'd been in love with her from almost the start he thought to himself. They had started out as friends but it had quickly developed into so much more for him. Friend he thought with a sigh. Friends was all they'd ever be.

It wasn't like he could act on his feelings either. Carter was invaluable to the Stargate program, he would never let her give up that for him. No matter how much it hurt him. She was needed here far more then she needed him.

He wouldn't tell her how much he wanted her. He would keep that tucked away in the far reaches of his heart. But this incident had brought it closer to the surface then it had been in years and he wasn't sure what to do about that.

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Author's Note- So this was actually the very first fic I wrote a few months ago and I looked at it again and fixed some things. And I remembered a prompt from the ficathon list on GW, so I came up with this idea. Thanks for reading and if you liked it let me know! Be warned I'm not sure if this turned out how I wanted it to so I may change this first chapter. This should be about 6-8 chapters long!