Hey. I decided after reading so many stories to get an account and try a story of my own! I don't know how long it will be. As long as it takes to tell the story, I guess.
Summary: You never forget the person who breaks your heart. In fact, they are the only thing you manage to remember constantly.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hannah Montana.
Coupling: Jake and Miley-Jiley
Rated: T(Teen)-May change.
Author: Fudge7eleven
Title: Dead Inside-Really, I couldn't think of a name so this will most likely change.
Notes: In my story, Jake did not react the way he did in the show when Miley told him she is Hannah. He acts totally differently.
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I turn over in my large bed. I've been lying awake all night. I actually have to wake up in twenty minutes. Sigh. Another sleepless night. It's been like this for months. I just can't get my mind to stop long enough for me to sleep. I keep thinking about him. Replaying moments we've spent together in my head. Thinking about how much he hurt me. Sometimes, I do sleep. But it's always restless. I end up waking up more exhausted than I do when I don't sleep at all.
I used to cry myself to sleep. But after a few weeks, I got tired of that. I got tired of crying period. It's all I ever did. But that's really all anyone feels like doing when they've had their heart broken. And mine has been shattered.
I close my eyes as the painful memory of how it all started comes back.
Jake and I were standing on the beach. I had just put my Hannah wig on and told him that I am the Hannah Montana. He stared at me, not saying anything.
"Jake?" I asked, tilted my head to the side. "Leslie?" I prodded, using his real name.
"You're Hannah Montana?!" Was his whispered question.
I nodded, biting my lip, not knowing what to say.
"You're Hanna Montana…?"
Why did he repeat the question? Was he broken?
"Yeah, I'm Hannah," I said slowly, hoping he would snap out of what ever trance he was in.
"But…No." He shook his head. "You're Miley."
I reached up and pulled the blonde wig off. Jake jumped back and looked at me as if I had just grown a second head. "I am Miley. But I'm Hannah, too," I said softly, taking a small step towards him.
He stepped back, once more, shaking his head again. "Why did you lie to me?"
"I-I didn't mean to," I said. "I never meant for things to go this far without you knowing."
I reached out to take his hand, mine shaking. He pulled his away.
"Jake, I'm really sorry."
"That doesn't make it any better," he spat.
I closed my eyes and opened them again, trying to keep myself under control. "But-I love you."
"I love you, too." Jake took another step away. "But you lied. And after my dad lied to my mom about cheating on her, I vowed I would never be with a liar."
His words knocked the wind out of me, but somehow I managed to choke out, "Jake…"
He said, "I'm sorry, Miley. I can't talk to you anymore." And with that, he turned and walked away.
With every step he took, it felt like he was stomping on my heart. All his words, they had been making small rips. But with that last sentence, my vital organ tore in two.
I ran to the bathroom at the edge of the beach. Inside, I checked my reflection in the mirror. I was a mess. A shocked expression was painted across my visage. And my throat was dry. I turned on the faucet and put my mouth under, drinking the chlorine-filled water. It didn't help my throat. It only made it close up more. It kept closing and closing. I coughed, trying to open it. But it was no use. I was choking on my own throat. Coughing uncontrollably, I started to gag. My stomach lurched and I thought I was going to puke. I lifted the lid of the toilet and gagged some more. But luckily, I did not throw up.
I stood up and splashed some cold water on my face. Then I walked home. Dad wanted to know what was wrong with me, but I told him I didn't want to talk about it. But I did make him let me sleep with him that night. Not that I slept. I thought about Jake the whole night. But I knew with my daddy right beside me, I wouldn't be able to cry. And I didn't. Probably because I was too much in shock.
My alarm blares from the other side of the room. I groan and get up, crossing the room and turning it off.
Monday. Great.
I walk over to my closet and start to pick out what I'm going to wear today. Not that I really care. I don't care about much of anything anymore.
After I'm dressed, I head down for breakfast, Ipod headphones already in my ears. Every morning I listen to my Ipod. That way, I don't have to talk to anyone. I can be in my own miserable little bubble without having to worry about anyone butting in. They still try, though.
"Morning, Bud," Dad says cheerily when he sees me.
I nod to him. Then I open the fridge and stick my head inside. I don't see why I even try to eat breakfast. I have no appetite for it. I just nibble a few bites and move the rest of the food around on my plate to make it look like I've eaten something. But I always regret it because at lunch I'm starving.
I settle on microwave bacon and orange juice. I pour the orange liquid into a glass then pop my bacon into the microwave.
Dad says something that I don't quite hear since I have a Simple Plan song blaring in my ears from my headphones.
I remove an ear butt and say, "Hmm?"
Dad sighs. "I said you should eat some toast with that bacon."
I nod and grab the loaf of bread off the counter.
"You're going to make yourself deaf with those earphones," Dad says.
I just shrug, slip a piece of bread in the toaster, replace the ear butt, and turn my music up louder. Dad shakes his head, giving me a disapproving look. I get a lot of those nowadays. I stare at the toaster, drumming my fingers on the countertop impatiently. When I glance back, Dad isn't there anymore. He's gone upstairs. Like every morning. This is how it is. He tries to talk to me. I blow him off. He goes upstairs. I'm left alone in the kitchen. I don't mind. I like being alone. Since Jackson went to college, it's been peaceful.
My toast pops up and I grab it, not really caring that it burns my hand. I drop it on a paper plate. I always eat on paper plates. I'm not very "green". So sue me.
I don't put jelly or butter on my toast. I eat it dry. I grab my bacon that I've forgotten about out the microwave. There's a knock at the door. I look up. It's Oliver and Lilly. I wave for them to come in. They do, looking bright and cheerful as always. I have to look away. 'Cause them walking in brings another memory to me.
The night after I told Jake was the night of the school dance. I'd told Daddy what happened and even though he knew how miserable I was, he was making me go. Oliver was my date-as a friend, of course. Lilly was going with Matt. Lilly and Oliver were picking me up.
I stood in the living room in my dress, all nice and pretty. Except for the bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. Oliver and Lilly entered, looking great. And happy. The exact opposite of what I was feeling. I put on a smile, though. I can be a fantastic actress when I need to be. They'd never know. At least not until I told them.
"Miley!" Oliver said, smiling that big, donut smile. "You look wonderful!"
"Thanks," I said, hugging him. "And Lilly, you look gorgeous." I gave her a smile and a hug.
"Thank you, Miley." She looked at me. And I mean, really looked at me.
One look like that, and my cover was blown. She knew. Something was up with me and she would make sure she found out what.
"So, we going?" I asked with fake cheer, hoping I could somehow throw Lilly off.
They both nodded, Lilly still giving me that look.
"Well let's get a moving," I said, starting to make my way to the door. "We still have to pick up Matt, don't we?"
"Yeah, he's waiting," Lilly said softly.
We went out to the car. Oliver turned up the music and drummed his hands on the wheel. I smiled a little at how oblivious he was. Once Matt was picked up, we headed to the restaurant where we were meeting a group of friends for dinner. Everyone smiled and hugged me, telling me how pretty I looked. I smiled and laughed when necessary and only spoke when spoken to.
At some point, Lilly pulled me aside.
"What's up with you?" She wanted to know.
"You can tell I'm depressed?" I asked.
She nodded. "Yeah, and I'm worried."
"You're the only one who seems to have noticed," I said with a shrug and walked away. I knew I hadn't answered her question and I knew that it hurt her, but it wasn't the time or place. I knew if I told her I would break down. And I couldn't do it there.
"Ooh bacon!" Lilly smiles, licking her lips, back in the present.
I pull my headphones out my ear, smile, and say, "You want it?"
"You sure?" She asks, eyeing the plate in my hand hungrily.
I nod. "Yeah. I'm full."
Honestly, you'd think by now I'd know better than to lie.
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Alright, tell me what you think. Your critiques are much appreciated ;)
-Fudge7eleven