WHAT UP? Hello everyone who decided to actually read this! Happy New Year! Hope it's great.
It's been a while, hasn't it.
Look what I learned to do:
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)
It's been my dream to be able to do that, no joke.
HERE COMES ANOTHER DEZ STORY. I love writing Dez, he's perfect.
And I dared to jot this down as Humor so, you guys'll be the judge of that. I'm terrified.
So, if you're not watching the A&A takeover weekend, which you totally should, by the by. You're fully welcome to enjoy whatever came into my mind whilst writing this. YAY!
Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally, I own an Austin & Ally mug that my brother got me for Christmas.
From: Ally.
Received: 6:36 PM
NOT SURE. DATE AUSTIN TONIGHT. PINK AND PURPLE CHEETAHS, HELP.
That's all I need to receive to know that my best friend is in a fashion distress for her second first date with Austin.
After the whole whirlwind with them dating other people, and jealousy with the occasional horse in prom and a tiny unicorn that they realized that they were still into each other and thank goodness that they finally did.
So after their blunt making up at our junior prom, Austin asked Ally back to another date which is currently their deal-breaker, because if this succeeds Auslly will officially be back in business and I can finally go back to my Auslly updates Tweeter.
But clearly the heat is on since Trish is trying to get Ally ready with so many cheetahs, that Ally had to come to me to finally get to her senses that I'm the fashion guru in this whole friendship.
So I quit the game me and Austin were playing and leave the controller on the ground, beginning to exit the room, but before I can, Austin stops me.
"Dude, where're you going?"
"I have to go help your girlfriend from either: second thoughts on your date tonight or getting attacked by cheetahs. Toodles,"
"Wait—What—DEZ!"
I leave him on a content note as I drive to Ally's place where I can hear her and Trish discussing what each want Ally to wear on the date. I pick the spare key from Mr. Dawson's dead fake plant and go inside. Mr. Dawson doesn't like it when I barge in unexpectedly but this and like every other time, was important. Especially once when I had to show Ally the new footage of my grandmother's mean cat spinning exactly six times before it laid down to sleep (proving that it is, in fact, a catien. A cat alien,)
I don't doubt and shout "HI MR. DAWSON." as I start my way upstairs and the sounds of the girls fighting over Ally's outfit comes even louder and clearer once I'm all the way at the top and Ally's bedroom is far down the hall.
When I open the door and both Ally and Trish shriek at me, throwing several things at me before I finally realize that Ally isn't wearing a shirt and her skirt is on the ground and she's in her panties. I finally close the door when Trish tosses at heeled boot right next to my head.
Well that was rude.
Both girls finally call me back after several minutes and I'm so offended that Trish actually has to pick me up by the ear and drags me into the room.
Wow, I have I said rude?
"Why didn't you knock before?" Ally asks, currently in a fluffy robe. Is it genuine alpaca fleece? It looks like the one I got her for Easter. I got everybody genuine alpaca fleece robes like Lester, and Jimmy. Except Austin, I got him three pairs of alpaca fleece underwear, but that's another story.
"It was an emergency, justice doesn't knock on doors."
"You're not a superhero, Dez. You're just going to help Ally pick something."
"I am most definitely saving the day, I mean, have you seen the skirt she kicked off? That shouldn't have been an option in the first place."
"Hey!" Ally stands up, crossing her arms. "My mom gave me that skirt."
I put an arm on her shoulder and lightly push her back to sit on the bed. "And it was a lovely gift, not for a date," I patronize. Ally sits back down, grumbling.
"Where's beloved Austin taking you anyway?" Trish asks with her back to us, throwing shirts and skirts to and fro from the closet
"The beach,"
"I thought you didn't like the beach." Trish raises a single eyebrow at her.
"I don't usually, but he seemed so excited I didn't have the heart to remind him."
"Mm mm, you makin' sacrifices this early in the relationship? Honey, you best dump his sorry ass. Go call that Elliot hunk," Incredible to believe I was just playing video games with the boy.
"Dez, he's your best friend."
"I know that, yes."
"Wait, what are you doing here? I thought you were hanging with Austin?" Ally turns to me.
"I was, yes."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because Austin always looks great, as much as we can try denying it there's no case: the boy's looks are ethereal. And I love you Ally, but a striped black and white top with yellow skinny jeans don't go together,"
Ally looks dumbfounded at my new revelation and when both Trish and I are shaking our head at her, she sits crosses her arms, pouting and mutters strange sentences.
I get to work, a beach date, with the once in the lifetime Austin Moon, the date is at eight o' clock and she still had to get her makeup and her hair ready. I quickly make Trish take Ally into the bathroom to get her started on it.
Once I picked a nice striped pink, turquoise, grey and blue tank top I received my first message from Austin, claiming that I had to help him get ready for their date.
From: Little Golden Toes
Received: 6:54 P.M.
The dates at the beach should I wear a suit?
And then they claim that my fashion sense is too wacky and attention grabbing. Before I can actually respond him, Austin already had sent a picture of him in a suit, and I'm almost tempted to text back a big affirmative YES because man, that boy is handsome.
To: Little Golden Toes
Sent: 6:57 P.M.
Keep it classy but casual. Don't need you getting that rash again
From: Little Golden Toes
Received: 6:58
I knew I should've never told you about that.
I throw some black tights on the bed and find Ally some black flats because Austin secretly likes being so much taller than her, well, he mentions every time he can with her or without her present, I don't think it would be much of a secret but maybe I could teach him how to keep secret. I never told Austin or Ally that I cut some of their hair to perform a love ritual for them.
Huh, I guess it worked.
"You did what?!"
Crap, did I say that out loud?
Ally looks astonished, coming out of the bathroom with Trish. Her hair straightened and light amount of makeup, a little more than what she wears usually. Excellent, maybe Ally would be willing to wear light blue lipstick to match her top.
"I don't even own light blue lipstick, Dez. I'm pretty sure no one does" The little tiny brunette sits back on her bed, shaking her head exasperated at me, well excuse me.
"Al, first of all; your shoes don't go with that robe, and honestly, neither does your attitude."
"She's wearing Mario and Luigi slippers." Trish states incredulously.
"Never trust an Italian plumber," I growl. "They say they'll do the job and they go off eating mushrooms and stealing princesses."
Trish and Ally fortunately don't question my fashion authority anymore and she slips Ally slips into the tank top and her leggings, putting on the flats at the end. I direct Trish to paint Ally's nails, because since Ally's nervous tick for chewing on her hair ending, her poor nails started to suffer the consequences, those poor warriors.
"Paint her nails, something delicate but detailed; something that could start a conversation but not lead on and on about it. Oh, and don't make it too perfect, because Austin can't know we did all this effort just for him not to notice, so make it chipped, but not sloppy, capiche?"
Now jewelry was a big part of the details, because Austin is almost like a cat, if he sees too much sparkle he gets distracted and if it's hanging he's going to start playing with it, but if it's not there, he gets bored. It's strange; a true American longhair that he is.
Therefor I pick a silver chain bracelet, silver bird earrings, a moon necklace and a sun choker necklace.
Get it?
Because Austin Moon and Ally Daw-Sun.
God, I'm hilarious, I should be on SNL.
Ally and Trish agree with my choices with accessories until:
"Dez, Ally's ears aren't pierced." Trish laughs.
"WHAT?" I move her hair from her ears and her ears and clear no sign of piercing or ever been pierced. "How did people know you were a girl when you were a baby?"
"Because girls have this thing in between our le—"
"—I wore pink clothes and a pink bow in my hair. Thank you, Trish." Ally interrupts and then glares at Trish who simply shrugs and picks at her nails.
"You know with an apple, some ice and a needle I can totally do it for you." I offer.
"I don't really trust you with a needle and a part of my body,"
"Your loss, lady"
Ally and Trish began talking about the date and before I could even put a word in the conversation my cell phone rung; and I picked up
"Ohio?" I said
"Michigan."
"Oh, hey Austin. How're you? Did you hear about Collin Lilies? I did not see that one coming."
"What happened with Collin—Wait— Dez, can I talk to Ally?"
"No-ho, no way I can do that for you buddy, no talking to the girlfriend before the second first date. It's bad luck."
"Dez, that's for weddings."
"You still can't talk to Ally."
"But I want to," he whined.
"Austin, I'm hanging up now."
"NO." He yells "Sorry, ask Ally if she wants me in black and white with jeans or in blue with khaki shorts."
"Ally," I call her and she looks over to me. "Austin asks if you want him to be handsome or to look like some beach bum."
"Handsome? I guess. Can I talk to him?"
"No." I cut the conversation and go back to Austin. "Austin, you dare show up wearing khakis and I will give you a full class with an oral exam on how that's not what you wear to a damn date when you have that head of hair."
"Sure, bud. I'll see you later." He hung up on me.
I return to the girl's conversation.
"But, Trish what if we have nothing in common? What if he has bad table manners? What if it's awkward?"
"Are we talking about the same date?" Trish questioned
"Ally, it is Austin we're talking about. He does have slightly bad table manners sometimes but since he's with you he'll pretend like he's eating with the queen of Indonesia."
"Indonesia doesn't have a—Thanks, Dez. That was really sweet of you to say." Ally smiles,
"And if it's awkward again, you'll have that constant reminder that you broke two people's hearts to have a failed relationship."
"DEZ!" Trish exclaims, and hits me in the arm; Ally looks at me like I kicked her bird. Which is a hard enough fate, I mean. That bird is quick as it can get.
"You can't stop me from telling people the truth, Trish." I open my palms and put them to the side of my ears, proving my innocence
"You're hurting Ally's feelings." She scolds.
"But Ally likes honesty!" I defend myself
"You know what Ally also likes? Being happy, now apologize."
"Al, I'm sorry that you had to break Gavin's heart for what could possibly be a fluke relationship."
"Thanks, Dez." She smiles tightly, and it feels lightly sarcastic but she said the words so she must've meant them, right?
"You got it." I wink.
We all talk for a while, and soon enough the doorbell rings and I know it's Austin, but before Ally can speed in and open the door before me, I cut in front of her and because I started laughing at her face I hit the door full on.
I still won, though.
I open the door and Austin's there, checking his reflection in the phone. His hair looks good, ordered but with a touch of tussle in there to seem natural, I can now tell it so easily, he's made me done it to him so many times that it just seems wrong without my hand having done some work in it.
He wears blue jeans with a black and white baseball t-shirt, his converse, his whistle and his key necklace along with his bracelets that some Buttercup girl scouts made for him, the sign of their eternal friendship. They sometimes call him and they talk for a few hours, well… that's what they tell me every time they call and ask me to give them his new number.
He looks casually classy with the hint of teenager in him. And this boy was thinking of wearing a blue shirt with khaki shorts, what is he; a golf player in the junior country club? Please.
"Hey, buddy!" He smiles at me, "Is Ally ready?"
"Oh, she is, but maybe it's time for us to talk a little."
"Talk? Sure. What happened to Collin Lilies in the end?"
"You don't know? Oh, get this, Collin apparently is—That's for another day, we're going to discuss Ally."
"What about her?"
"What intentions do you have with my B.U.N.F.F?"
"Your B.U.N.F.F?"
"Best unfortunately not freckled friend."
"Dez, Ally and I are going on a date. I'm taking to beach down south, the one without the druggies and we're having a picnic, maybe cuddle in front of the water and look at the stars."
"And nothing else? No going to your house to do whatever young people do. She's coming right back home before midnight, do you hear me? I will be waiting." I say sternly, looking him in the eyes as he raises one eyebrow, then switches to the other.
"Dez, you don't live here, bud, and you're sleeping at my place tonight."
"I WILL KNOW." I shout, how dare he defy me.
"Okay! Okay! Calm down, Ally will be home by midnight. I promise."
"Good. Good."
"I'm so nervous," he licks his lips and rubs his hands together, stabbing his fingernails into his palm afterwards.
"Dude, you have nothing to worry about, only the pressure of possibly failing your second try at this relationship, there's nothing that should be worrying you right now."
He starts to say something but stops himself and so I call for Ally after a few moments of silence and as she comes into view with Trish by her side smiling, I can literally see both Austin and Ally's reaction imitate the others as their faces light up.
"Ally, you look gorgeous." Austin stutters out-
"Thanks," Ally and I say at the same time; while both of us blush.
"What?" I ask, Trish, Austin and Ally all looking at me confused "I dressed her, that technically is a compliment to me. So, thank you, Austin."
"No problem, bud." He breathes and takes Ally's hand, as they start walking away, soon enough I start to yell out at them:
"DON'T COME HOME LATE,"
"TAKE YOUR KEYS."
"DON'T SWIM IN THE WATER RIGHT AFTER YOU'VE EATEN."
"CALL IF THE DATE IS A WASTE OF TIME,"
"IF YOU STAIN YOUR SHIRT I'M DISOWNING YOU."
"NO FROLICKING ON THE BEACH."
"NO LICKING EITHER."
I am such a good friend.
I'm not sure if I'm going to add a second part to this or not, still haven't decided!
So if you liked it
Or not.
And want a second part
or not.
Let me know in the comments below!
Hahaha, ever YouTuber EVER says that.
I won't.
I just did but ignore that.
"Never trust a duck."
-William Herondale