I cannot escape the prison life confines us to. More importantly, I cannot escape the name Seifer Almasy - the bully, the failure, the traitor, the student, the torturer, the murderer, but most of all, the fallen knight.
My name and its epithets seemed to define me . . . but I know better. A man cannot be defined by mere words. It is circumstance, choices, and dreams that define. Only . . . I was manipulated, yes, me, the master of defiance, of hating, ridiculing being controlled; I was preyed upon - like a marionette doll unaware of the person controlling its actions - by her through the obsession I call my "romantic dream." The witch, Ultimecia, knew of my desires of glory, honour, and to be needed, depended on by someone. I always wanted to be the brave one, the solider, and the hero - respected and admired. I wanted to be my dream girl's knight. She would need me, want me and I would live solely for her. Only, Ultimecia made me believe I was needed, loved, and would find glory through her. I could not see past my own dreams to understand that she really wanted to control time, to be the ultimate ruler. She cared for no one else, especially not me. I was a fool to think that she was the woman I was meant to protect, to guard from all harm. I was blind to all the pain I caused, the deaths, the torturing. I only felt they were going to harm my lady, and it was her orders. A knight is supposed to fight against the evil, the suffering, and the pain for the sake of his love, whether it is a woman, religion, or morals. How can you fight the evil, when you are the blemish, the scar upon humanity? Would I do it again? Probably. I did not gain the wisdom I have now until after the defeat of the sorceress. My only regret is that I did not realize that I was a puppet, a "lapdog," as my greatest rival, Squall Leonhart, put it, sooner. Then perhaps I would not have destroyed so many lives . . . including my own.
Being abandoned at an orphanage makes one feel unwanted, and a burden that someone did not care for. I was and am, even now, driven by that hunger - to be wanted.
I know now what I did not before the Ultimecia Affair - I want to be Quistis Trepe's knight. There's only one problem - I am a broken man and . . . a fallen knight.