Oneshot! It's angsty!

The rain pours a steady beat on the window pane. There is a storm raging outside as flashes of lightning brighten the room for a second before crashing it into dimness again with a resounding clap of thunder.

My coffee is forgotten and cold next to me. I have case files strewn across the dining room table. I look up to ask you a question and my breath catches in my throat at the beautifully sorrowful sight.

You are staring out the window. Sitting on a chair in your pajamas, one leg is pulled to your chest as the other is stretched to the floor. Leaning on the still with your elbow, you stare blankly outwards. The stormy evening casts a blue wash over your face with scattered streaks. I want to take a picture. You are so gorgeous.

Your eyes are clouded, dark like the weather outside. I swallow hard as I realize I know what you are thinking about. Her.

I sigh gently and look down, quickly realizing that my eyes have filled with quiet tears. God, I love you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. You have taken me to my highest heights and when you are like this, my lowest lows. But it is not your fault, you have a past that I do not; a lover lost to the cruel Fates. I promised myself I would never be the other woman. Not for any prize in the world, but here I am. Not only am I the other woman, but your first love is a ghost.

I was angry at first. You spoke so passionately about her. I must have looked like the green eyed monster. I was trying to have a relationship with you and all you could talk about was your ex.

I mean, I'm not completely unfeeling; she died for crying out loud. I held you every night you couldn't sleep and I talked to you on the phone until all hours of the morning. I was the perfect friend. I want to be the perfect lover. But how can I live in the shadow of the Great Alex Cabot?

I remember when I found out. Elliot had pulled me aside one day. He told me that you and Alex were together before she died, that you were next to her when she was shot. I shudder as I think about what it would be like if someone I loved, if you were shot. I would be inconsolable.

So I get it. I get it when you are like this, when your thoughts are obsessed with her. I hoped that time would lessen your pain; maybe you would love me more than you loved her. Normally, you are amazingly romantic; a rose on my desk, love letters in my mailbox, the works. But when it rains…everything is different.

I get up and walk over to you. You jump slightly, but I smile and kiss your forehead. I hear your sigh. You stand and gently grab my hand, pulling me toward the bedroom. I know what you want. You want her. You want me to be her for you. This has happened before and I surprise myself every time by pretending I don't know what you are doing. I love you so much. I know that tomorrow, you will be you again, the you that loves me and only me. But tonight…tonight it's you and your ghost.

The shadows are dramatic and I can just barely make out your silhouette as you approach me. You are gentle, insistent and adoring as you capture my lips in the dark.

The chasteness is quickly replaced by heavy kisses. Your tongue invades my mouth in a violent manner. I moan into you, urging you on. We move closer and your leather hands turn to silk as my clothes slowly disappear. I hear each piece hit the floor with a muffled thud and I make a mental note so I don't trip over them later.

I am now in my bra and underwear. You pull away and stare at me with lidded eyes. I hope you see what you really want, even if tonight it's not me.

You remove your own clothing and head to the dresser. I follow you in the dark. You're back is to me as you retrieve our favorite toy. You step into the harness and I seductively pull it into place around your bottom as you tighten the straps. I reach around and hug your warm body, my hands drift down to adjust the purple phallus. You jerk as it rubs your most sensitive spot.

You turn around in my arms. The strap-on is trapped between us, pushing on my delta. We resume our passionate kissing. My skin is on fire and I can't stop touching you…all of you.

You like to be in control, so I concede to you as you guide me to the bed and force me to sit. My bra leaves me in the dark and you fall to your knees, tugging at my g-string. I maneuver out of it and I hear you take a deep breath at my center. I am hopeful, but you move upwards and attack my responsive nipples. Pleasurable pain shoots through my body and it is all I can do to stay sitting upright.

One of my hands winds into your hair and the other reaches down your body, groping and scratching all the places I can reach, all the places that you love. You switch sides and my eyes flutter closed and I moan.

The sound drives you crazy, I know. You come up to kiss me roughly and suddenly, two fingers shoot through my hot slick hole. I groan loudly and jump out of the kiss. You thrust a few times, just to irritate me. Pulling out, you put your hand to your mouth and suck on the sticky digits. I see your feral eyes glint at me in the dark. God you are so beautiful.

I move farther onto the bed and you follow, crawling slowly up my body until your unnatural member is positioned. You gently enter me. I squirm and jerk in pleasure as you come up to meet me in another searing kiss.

Your hips begin to rock and I can't concentrate on the kiss anymore. My back arches into you and I can see your eyes have closed as your motions stimulate your clit.

It feels so wonderful, to lie here under you. I would stay here forever if you wanted me to. Sprawled on a mess of sheets because you didn't make the bed this morning, my limbs are sticking out at odd angles and my body is rocking violently with your thrusts. I look up at you towering over me. Your eyes are still closed and your body is tight in concentration and it's all I can do to love you more. Our skin is blue, glowing in storm and shining from our sweat.

Another crack of lightening flashes into the dark room, immediately followed by a crash of sound. The apartment pulses in vibration as we plunge into each other. I arch into you, I need more contact. I can't tell you how good it feels to be loved by you. Our moans are continuous and I lose myself in the sensations.

My mouth is open in a silent scream as you take me, shaking, to my climax. All my muscles stretch with the stimuli and I suddenly fall with a long violent spasm. I sigh out my pleasure and shudder as I wonder what God made you so wonderful.

I try to relax as your rhythm slows but my body has other ideas as it jerks from one side to the other, knocking me back every time.

You pull out and fall heavily beside me. We are both piles of a sticky sweet mess. I can't move at the moment, otherwise I would help you as you slip the harness off.

I turn and grab hold of your waist, dragging you to meet my warm body. You're facing away from me so my hand traces lazy lines across the muscles on your abdomen. I cover your shoulder with slow short kisses. You give a soft, happy moan. I can't help but wonder; who are you imagining behind you?

I know that you will forget her someday. Perhaps she was your true love, but you are mine.

And the rain plays a mourning symphony into the night.

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