A/N: What up, bruh?

Who's addicted to Angry Birds? Alexander Caesar is addicted to Angry Birds. :D

When I'm not on this site, I'm playing Angry Birds. Yeah, I have no life, so what?

This was a one-shot turned into multi-chapter. Enjoy

This is dedicated to my FFBFF Vivid Tear. A virtual cookie to anyone who figures out that acronym. :D

I've been baking a lot of virtual cookies lately. That's a great sign. :D

Check out Vivid Tear's stuff, because she just so happens to be really amazing at writing.

Disclaimer: Because I'm totally a middle-aged, gray-haired man who created the awesomeness Hot Five known as Apollo, Nico di Angelo, Percy Jackson, Luke Castellan and Jason Grace. Pssh, because I'm awesome like that.

I created the Name Hot Five. It was spur-of-the-moment. Cheesy, I know.

Mr. D let out a drawn out sigh, then sipped a can of Diet Coke. Another day of watching over spoiled brats.

The wood nymph he'd chased to get here was hot though, he had to admit. But she wasn't worth this.

Disregard females, acquire currency was his new motto.

Chiron was out arching somewhere, the bastard. He had left Mr. D alone with no one to play pinochle with. His Pac-Man machine was broken and Hephaestus was fixing it. He could watch gladiator fighting, but that seemed to be illegal this day and age. Stupid mortals, not knowing how to have fun. Kids, on the other hand, were having tons of fun. It was warm and the sun was shining, and the kids were enjoying it.

All in all, it was a terrible day. He could use a drink right now.

He secretly cursed his father. Fine red wine, silky white wine, Hades, he'd even go for Jack Daniels right about now!

Not saying that Jack Daniels wasn't amazing.

Then, Perry Johanneson and his blasted girlfriend Annabelle came up, both with oPods (Olympian iPods) in their hands, the touchscreen ones. Their eyes were trained on the small screens. Mr. D noticed they seemed to be walking aimlessly, in circles sometimes. There were many small grunts and shrieks of frustration involved. It got to the point where both of them banged their foreheads waling into the same pillar. They jolted and looked at the pillar, confused, rubbing their foreheads twice*.

Mr. D snorted in amusement. Then, he drawled in an indifferent voice, "Tell me, Peter and Anniebella, what has caused you to bump into the holy pillars of this sacred building?" Sarcasm dripped off his words.

"Hello to you, too, Mr. D," Percy said obvious disliking in his voice. "If you must know, me and my girlfriend Annabeth, are playing a game."

Mr. D ignored the emphasis of the girl's correct name. "And what should the name of this game be, Pedro?"

Annie rolled her eyes. "Me and Percy are playing a game known as Angry Birds."

"And what is that?" the wine god's voice drawled, hiding the curiosity out of his voice.

"Only one of the most popular Apple, Android, and GoldenApple products today," Percy rolled his eyes. "I supposed you would have to be technologically challenged not know it."

Mr. D narrowed his eyes at the boy. "I don't use Apple or Android products because unfortunately I can't send monsters towards you brats, and I refuse to use Apollo and Hermes' GoldenApple products, thank you very much. Now, please, if you may be so kind, to let me see that damned device in your hand." Purple flames danced in his eyes, showing this was an order instead of a request.

The boy reluctantly held out his hand, the oPod Touch on his palm. Mr. D lifted a finger, and saw the device rise up into the air and into his hand.

Mr. D studied the screen. There were numerous boxes, labeled from 1 to 21, with a bluish background. He guessed they were the different levels. He decided to start at the beginning, and clicked on one.

A small film started playing. A group of birds were surrounded around a nest, obviously missing its eggs. As it continued, a small yellow bird took attention to a group of pigs, where they had the missing eggs in a pan. He had to sympathize with the pigs. I mean, they had to eat you know!

The sympathy didn't last long, of course, but that's for later.

Next on the screen was one of the green pigs in some sort of building. The pig grunted and seem to laugh. The screen moved to a slingshot. There were three red birds, one already in a slingshot.

"Peter and Annie, please come here."

They treaded up to Mr. D.

"Tell me, how do you play this?"

"Well," Annie started, "You slide the slingshot back with your finger, and then aim and fire at the pig."

Dionysus studied the slingshot. With plump thumb, he slid the bird back, aimed at where the pig was supposed to be, and fired.

The bird launched into the building with an odd sound. He toppled the building and destroyed the pig, making it poof away.

Mr. D felt triumphant, but of course, acted disinterested.

"Not very much of a game, now is it?" he drawled.

Perry's face seemed to turn red, and he blurted out, "Oh yeah? I bet you can't finish the finish the game by sundown!"

The wine god raised his eyebrow. "What is this, a western movie? Why sundown?"

Perry blushed out of embarrassment. "I don't know. First thing that came to mind."

Mr. D sighed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, course, Peter. How about we make this interesting?" Mr. D's eyes danced with violet fire, mischievous.

Percy swallowed nervously. Bets with gods didn't go good usually. Believe him, he had one with Apollo one time. Let's just say he was orange instead of sunkissed for a month.

He wasn't about to back down to Mr. D, though. Because he's a Seaweed Brain.

"Okay, what is it?" He finally said.

Mr. D tapped his lip, and then announced, "If- no, when I win, you will have to let the Aphrodite kids give you a makeover, and be in a runway show for the whole camp and all of Olympus to see." A smile that could rival the Grinch's crept up on Dionysus' face.

Percy's face, on the other hand, paled and twisted into terror. Could he not just be tortured in the Field of Punishment for one day?

The wine god raised his eyebrow in mock confusion. "Are you backing out, Pedro?" he said innocently.

Percy then straightened up. "Of course not. But, if I win, you will have to hand your position over to me for a day, and be equivalent of a camper."

Mr. D narrowed his eyes at the boy. He knew how he would abuse that, by torturing the wine god. But, it didn't matter. Because the god would win.

"Deal," he finally said. "I swear upon the River of Styx."

"I swear on the River Styx," Percy said smugly.

"Let's continue, then."

Mr. D then connected his eyes to the screen. He conjured two chairs on the either side of him, for the blasted demigods to sit in. He would've no cared, but the creaking of the wood would've broken his concentration.

How did it go?

Let's just say for the next ten minutes, there was enough swearing in ancient Greek to make Ares blush.

Here's an excerpt:

"Die, you stupid, freakish pigs! Pedro, get me some grapes."

"It's Percy, sir."

"Yeah, whatev- MY BIRD JUST MISSED! I WILL GET YOU PIG!"

"…Um, okay…"

Or:

"Πληγή που χοίρων! Κάψτε σε μεγαλύτερα βάθη του Ταρτάρου!" Which is Ancient Greek for: "Curse you pig! Burn in the deepest depths of Tartarus!"

And lastly:

"Πού είναι το μπέικον μου, νύμφη!" Which is Ancient Greek for: "Where is my bacon, nymph!" which you can guess the nymphs weren't too happy at, as they're vegans.

Well, at least he wasn't bored anymore, right?

A/N: Not my best work, but eh.

Every new chapter will be for a new bird. :D

I'll update this honestly when I feel like, because of school, and my other stories.

I hope you liked this, V.T. :D

*rubs forehead twice* Anyone?

:D