Hello, peoples! This story is dedicated to three people- NirCele, because it's her birthday and because she's fabulous; LadyLindariel, because it's her birthday and because she's amazing; and Pip the Dark Lord of All, because it's not her birthday and she's awesome, and she also inspired this story with her hilarious masterpiece How Pippin Took Over the World. NirCele and Lin, I'm sorry that I have to share one story for the two of you. :( I learned when your birthdays were too late to write anything serious. I'll try to write a better birthday present soon, but this will hopefully suffice for now.
Onward we go!
Boba Fett was the best, most amazing, most incredible bounty hunter in the universe. Everyone knew it, and that's why everyone tried to get him to work for them. Boba Fett knew it too, and that's why he only did jobs for the most amazing people. After all, the best, most amazing, most incredible bounty hunter in the universe deserved the best.
Darth Vader was a pretty amazing person, so when Darth Vader called Boba Fett and asked if he would do a job for him, Boba Fett guessed that he might as well, especially after Darth Vader told him that he wouldn't Force-choke him if he did, and after he had confiscated his ship.
"How can I help you?" said Boba Fett mysteriously and uncharacteristically politely as Darth Vader approached.
"I need you to kidnap someone," said Darth Vader.
"Easy," said Boba Fett. "Who?"
"The Force is strong in him," said Darth Vader. "He is older than he looks, and has no appearance of physical strength, but, with proper training, he could become a Sith Lord."
"That's great," said Boba Fett. "But who is he?"
"You will find him on the planet of Endor. He dwells within what they call the 'Woodland Realm'."
"Awesome," said Boba Fett. "But can't you tell me his name?"
"I find your lack of patience disturbing," said Darth Vader. "But fine. His name is Galion."
"Rad," said Boba Fett. "Can I have my ship back now?"
Darth Vader sighed, which sounded just like how his breathing regularly sounded. He pulled the Slave LXIII from his pocket and tossed it to Boba Fett. "I've made a few adjustments to it to ensure your obedience."
Boba Fett sighed as he caught the ship. He pulled out a notebook, made a new mark on his tally sheet, and renamed the ship the Slave LXIV. "Can I go now?" he asked despondently.
"Yes," said Darth Vader. "Return with Galion. I want him alive, so I can train him to become the awesomest Sith Lord ever besides me and the Emperor."
Nodding curtly, Boba Fett jumped into the Slave LXIV and flew away towards the planet of Endor. Despite Darth Vader's modifications to the ship, it seemed to be flying smoothly. Boba Fett breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed like this would be a fairly routine bounty-huntin' job, regardless of Darth Vader's methods of persuasion.
But would it be? This Galion seemed as though he would be a challenge to capture.
But, of course, even someone as strong in the Force as Darth Vader claimed Galion to be would be no match for the best, most amazing, most incredible bounty hunter in the universe.