Kate in the Night

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Not mine. Time: Season Six. Rating: K+

"Beckett. What do you want?" Beckett stood in his doorway, dripping wet.

"You." Kate Beckett stepped forward and leaned in to kiss Castle, but he shoved her away.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I want you?"

"Castle…Rick, please. I love you."

Castle laughed coldly. "And why would I want to saddle myself with a skinny, frigid, psycho bitch? Get out, Beckett. I hate the sight of you."

Tears poured from Beckett's eyes. "No, please, Rick. I love you so much and…"

"You are not good enough for my son, Beckett. And you never will be. You are broken. Leave now!" Martha Rodgers said.

"Get out, Beckett!" Alexis said. "All you ever do is hurt my dad. Do you really expect him to stay with you until you get him killed? We all hate you."

"Please, Rick. I know how I've treated you. But I love you."

Gina, wearing only a diaphanous shorty nightgown laughed and put her arm around Rick. "Love? That's really funny. Do you actually think you even remotely understand love?"

Meredith, wearing nothing, hugged Rick. "You're worthless, Beckett. You should have let yourself fall today and made everyone else happy. You should end your miserable life."

Kate released her grip on the ledge and plummeted towards the concrete below. Her last thought was, I love you, Rick. Always. Rick!

"Rick! Rick? Castle, where are you?" Kate sat up in the darkened bedroom, frantically searching for her fiancé. But she was alone in the bed.

"Kate? What is it? Are you okay?" Rick rushed into their bedroom and slid into bed with Kate. He put his arms around her and pulled her close.

"I'm okay, Rick. It was just a dream. Let's go back to sleep. It was nothing."

"Don't do this, Kate, please."

"Don't do what?"

"Shut me out. Even now, you shut me out. Maybe it was just a dream, but when I first put my arms around you, you were shaking. And you're still tense. You're upset by the dream, I know that. Tell me what it was, please."

Kate hugged Rick tightly. "Have I told you lately that I love you? That I need you desperately?"

"Yeah, but I love hearing it."

Kate was silent for a minute or two. "I dreamed about when I came here to tell you I wanted you. But when I tried to kiss you, you pushed me away. You said you hated me and called me a skinny, frigid, psycho bitch."

"Kate, I would never, never…"

"I know. I know how much you love me." Kate took a deep breath before continuing. "Martha said she hated me and so did Alexis. She said all I ever did was hurt you. Gina and Meredith were there, too. Meredith said I'd be better off dead. That everyone else would be better off, too. Then I was falling from that building. I was thinking of you and how much I loved you when…I woke up."

"Okay, it was just a stupid dream. I love you, Mom loves you, Alexis loves you, Gina and Meredith…Okay, they don't love you, but who cares?"

Kate buried her face in Castle's chest. "I shouldn't have all of this."

"All of what?"

"A man who loves me unconditionally. A man I love unconditionally. A man I can have a family with and love for the rest of my life. I shouldn't have Martha who already thinks of me as her daughter, or Alexis who sees me as a combination friend, big sister and mom. I shouldn't have all of the love and hope and joy you've brought into my life."

"And why not, if I may ask? Aren't you being awfully hard on yourself?"

Kate shook her head. "No. I know what the wall I built did to you. I know I hurt you. I did it intentionally to drive you away because I was terrified of loving someone and losing them. You were right. I didn't love Demming or Josh, but I could show them affection, sleep with them even, and I couldn't do that with you, the man I loved."

"It's okay. That's all in the past. We're okay now. I love you, Kate. We're going to get married."

"I know and I can't wait. But, Rick, it was four years. For four years I pushed you away. I hurt you. I hurt you badly. I broke your heart. And yet I wanted you. It must have been terrible for you. One minute I'd act like I was that close to loving you, and the next I'd make some stupid hateful, hurtful remark to you. How did you stand it?"

"I stood it because of the remarkable Kate Beckett."

She shook her head. "I still can't believe there is a man who would put up with that for four years, Rick. Four years of that. It's just not possible. No man would have stayed with me. Didn't you hate me sometimes? Just wish I'd go away?"

"Never. I could never hate you because you've never done anything to me to cause me to hate you."

"Rick, don't lie to me. I was there. I know I hurt you. I know I tried to hurt you."

"And every single thing you're feeling guilty for I blame on that bastard Bracken. And I love you all the more for being strong enough, brave enough and smart enough to break down that wall and go after that bastard."

"I'm very lucky, aren't I?"

"Yes." Rick said. But then added, "Exactly as lucky as I am to have you."

Kate slid Rick's hand under her tee shirt and onto her breast. "I'd like to show you how lucky you are."

"My pleasure."

"No, our pleasure."