Consuming
Lovino walked down the dirt road like he always did on his way home from helping grandpa Roma with his farm. It was all Lovino thought he could do. He didn't really have any special talent. So he decided to live close to his grandpa and help him with his farm. He walked to his little house about a mile away from Grandpa Roma's farm. It was alone. Secluded. Just the way he liked it. He didn't like being bothered by too optimistic neighbors. It was better to be alone. Then no one could hurt his fragile heart he kept frozen. His little brother had gone away to live in Germany for the year with his lover. His Ludwig. Lovino had often wondered what it was like to be loved. What it was like to be touched by someone that promised to keep your heart intact. To feel someone's hand hold his face pulling him in for a passionate and meaningful kiss. He shivered at the thought of something this wonderful belonging to him. It never would though. He was jealous of what little Feliciano had. Something he would never have. He put his hand to his heart, wincing, as he walked down the dark road.
"Almost home," he thought to himself.
Lovino walked inside his house tracking dirt on the wooden floor and went to fall upon his small green couch. He didn't care that his clothes were covered in dirt and he most likely got it on the couch. He just put his arm over his eyes and then the tears came crashing down like they usually did once he got home. He hated this idiotic feeling of loneliness that consumed his very being. Why does he have to feel like this every day; every minute of his miserable useless life? It wasn't fair that Feliciano had found someone to love him so quickly. It wasn't fair that he had always loomed in the background; the shadow of his charming younger brother. It wasn't fair that everyone, his entire life thought he was an asshole. It wasn't his fault he was scared to open his heart. To reveal it to the world only to have it taken then shattered. He sighed and got up. Taking a shower would clear his mind. Before doing so, he went to turn on the radio. Music was one of the only things that could calm him down. He turned it on and a song he'd never heard was playing. The melancholy voice filled the room and calmed Lovino. He grabbed his towel and went to the bathroom. He stood in the hot water that ran along his back. The song drifted into the bathroom.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
He found it quite ironic. That a song like this would play during his fit of desperation and loneliness. It, however, had not made him feel worse than he already did. It somehow did the opposite; this stranger singing to him. Somehow knowing how Lovino felt. It calmed him, as he washed his hair; that wretched curl that wouldn't stay down. He sang along, the words that had repeated.
"Someday you will be loved…" Just a whisper meant for only the warm air that surrounded him.