We do not die because we have to die; we die because one day, and not so long ago, our consciousness was forced to deem it necessary.
Antonin Artaud
--
Everything is so much brighter here, she notices. The sky is the clearest blue she has ever seen. She holds up on red-soaked hand, and the mixture of blood, pale, and forever makes her shiver. It makes her want to laugh, this sudden awareness. She had always heard that everything faded.
'They were wrong,' she says, though her voice dies before she can finish.
She is dying. That much is clear. But the creatures are also dead and that makes her happy—they won't get to anyone else. There were…several of them, she thinks…the exact number is gone from her head. Not that it matters. It never mattered.
Her heart is slowing down. It's rhythm in her head is like a drum, signaling her to dance (she doesn't dance, not that kind of dancing) to the last. Almost she wants to tap her foot to it, but stops herself. She can't tap her foot anyhow. It's over there, along with her arm. If she was going to survive, that might become a problem. Luckily, she won't survive.
There is a cool breeze that plays over her, crooning a lullaby in her ear. Sleep…that sounds very nice right now.
If anyone had told her that at some point, she would stop fighting, she would have laughed. But now…she can see that it is pointless, that it is neccessary, and she is sensible, no matter what people say. So wasting energy now is stupid, especially when there is so much sky to look at and…
'Arisawa…'
Something has replaced her sky. Something with red hair and tattoos and eyes that have a strange expression. She frowns, annoyed by this. Why, of all times, does this man have to be here…
'You're blocking my view, Abarai,' she tries to say, but gets blood instead.
'Shit.' And now he was swearing…all she asked was a little peace and quiet to die in. 'Dammit, Arisawa…stay here, stay here…I need to find…'
A hand closes on his wrist, still strong, though for only a few more minutes, he knows. He doesn't have enough energy left to perform anything, and everyone is too far away…
'Ikanai…' She murmurs, her voice nearly gone. He is silent for a moment, then takes the hand in his, her blood smearing his palm.
'Okay.'
His face goes so well with the sky, she thinks, much better than her scarlet hand. And, as the world before her vanishes, she realizes that she doesn't mind at all.
--
ikanai: 'don't go.' My Japanese is pretty mediocre, and I think I spelled it wrong, but in essence, that's it.