Note: Originally posted on my tumblr with the title "Like a Flash" (because I'm terrible at coming up with titles). It's an older fic but I felt like reuploading it elsewhere. Enjoy!
"I can see your toner through those jeans!"
"That's my dick."
Beca left Aubrey behind, rolling her eyes. What was her deal? Beca was sure that ever since the new Bellas got together this year, she was the only one Aubrey seemed to want to pick fights with. Sure, Beca had her own ideas about things, but for the most part she did her best to follow along with Aubrey and Chloe's directions, if only for the sake of the group. As she headed outside, Beca wondered what the others thought about Aubrey's behavior, since it was near impossible to ignore. Perhaps they didn't care. Why can't I figure her out? She always makes sure to bring up Jesse, too, and everyone can see that we're just friends, right? Why do I even want to figure her out? Beca thought, leaning against a nearby tree. Her thoughts raged for a while longer as she played back memories of her and Aubrey's many confrontations. It's so easy for me to get along with everyone else, so what do I have to do to get Aubrey to lighten up? There has to be something I'm missing… The sun warmed Beca's skin as she watched a few people pass by and a moment later she closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax under the combination of sun and shade. A few seconds later, her period of relaxation was interrupted by the feeling of another's breath on her face and a hand between her legs.
"I knew it! You don't have a dick!"
Beca's eyelids flew open and she tried desperately not to scream at Chloe, who smiled coyly at her. "What the hell, Chloe? Of course I don't have one!" Chloe seemed to be moving her face closer to Beca's, and Beca squirmed, remembering where Chloe's hand was. She reached for Chloe's hand and pulled it away, and Chloe intertwined their fingers, grinning the whole time.
"Hey… you weren't using that as a cover so you could feel me up, were you?"
Chloe giggled and took a step back. She held Beca's hand for a moment longer before releasing it gently.
"You're worried about Aubrey, aren't you? About why she acts the way she does… especially towards you."
"Are you psychic, too?" Beca asked, smiling at her friend. "Y'know, besides being really touchy-feely…"
"Beca, this is serious!" Chloe frowned and then looked behind her before turning her gaze back to Beca. "I have an idea: I'll talk to Aubrey about it. I'll ask her how she really feels and I'll get back to you. Who knows? Maybe I can even set you two up on a date."
Beca did a double take. "Wait, what? Hey, don't misunderstand. I don't care what Aubrey feels about me, I'm just worried about… oh shit…"
"I know, I know," Chloe sang. She backed away slowly, her mission set. "Everyone can see it! Don't worry, Beca, I'll take care of it!"
Chloe left and Beca remained standing under the tree for a while longer. She felt stupid now, standing there almost drowning in her thoughts. She had been in denial this whole time, telling herself that she didn't care what Aubrey felt about her, or why she acted the way she did. But she did care, it bugged the crap out of her, and thanks to Chloe's nosiness, Aubrey would probably find out sooner rather than later. But why did it bother her so much? She certainly respected the captain of the Bellas as she should, but maybe there was something more than that. No, there's no way I have a crush on Aubrey, she thought. How would that even happen? Beca glanced at her watch and stepped away from the tree, making sure to avoid running into Aubrey as she wandered across campus to get to her next class.
"So, Beca, how was your little chat with Aubrey after rehearsal?"
Beca tried to avoid Amy's gaze as she prodded the food on her plate. "Um, it was fine. The usual back and forth about my 'radical' ideas versus tradition, you know."
Amy nodded. "Aw, yeah, I know exactly. Bet it got a little hot in there if you know what I mean."
Beca looked up. "No, it was pretty cold, actually."
"Oh, c'mon, everybody can see the sexual tension from, like, a few kilometers away at least. I know the year's still young but you shouldn't deny yourself a good time, even if it involves angry sex. Everyone says that's the best kind…"
"Amy, stop! There's no sexual tension, we're not having sex, okay?" Beca looked Amy in the eye for a split second before turning away. She could feel her face redden as they sat in the noisy dining hall and Amy nodded knowingly.
"Okay, okay. Deny it all you want, I'll play along, that's cool."
They sat quietly for a few minutes as both girls watched people pass back and forth. Eventually, Beca spoke up, posing a question that had been on her mind since after her conversation with Chloe.
"Amy, you said everyone can see the 'sexual tension', right? Does that mean everyone thinks Aubrey acts the way she does because of that? I mean, why do you think she acts the way she does?"
"'Cause she needs to get laid, probably," Amy replied, covering a laugh. "Seriously though, there's always gotta be a hard-ass in any group, and for the Bellas, it's definitely her. But she does seem to look at you differently compared to the rest of us. Like, she's content with us when we do everything right, but I've seen her stare at you a little too long once or twice. With you getting all that attention, I'm gettin' a bit jealous."
Beca's smile was quickly replaced by a slight frown as she mulled over what Amy said. "So you think Aubrey's… into me?"
"Well when you put it like that, uh, yeah, a little bit. Lucky you, yeah?"
Yeah, lucky me… Beca let herself think for a while longer. She didn't want to believe that Aubrey had good feelings about her, but if "everyone" saw it, why was she still denying it? And then there was the matter of her own feelings. She didn't hate Aubrey, never did. At first she was put off by her seriousness, but the blonde had a certain air of gracefulness about her that was intoxicating. She was extremely determined, nervous, a sore loser, but all of those traits only intrigued Beca more. Perhaps it was because they were so different from her own…
"Hey, Beca, you okay?" Amy tapped Beca on the shoulder and the brunette snapped out of her thoughts. She nodded and Amy smiled at her, adding, "No pressure or anything, but if you need somebody to do recon or whatever, gimme a shout."
"Okay," Beca said with a smile. Amy stood up and waved goodbye, mumbling something about getting to her next class before the professor decided to choose her to lead the class discussion. Beca leaned back in her chair and tapped her soda can around on the table with her fingertip. Not more than a minute later, a familiar shout reached Beca's ear from across the way.
"Beca! Hey!"
Beca looked over and smiled as Jesse jogged over to the table, taking a seat next to her. "Fancy meeting you here," he added, leaning back in his chair. "Are you enjoying sitting by yourself?"
"Well, I wasn't alone this whole time, but yeah, I don't mind it," Beca replied. She sighed and Jesse turned to speak again when she interrupted, "Jesse, I-I know this is random, but I think I… have feelings for someone and I'm not sure what to do."
Jesse's eyes lit up and he smiled confidently. "Well, well, the time has finally come. I could see it in your eyes since the day we met. I have to say, I'm flattered—"
"No!" Beca shouted, then immediately looked down and almost whispered, "I mean, sorry, it's… it's not you."
"Oh, I see," Jesse bit his lip and sighed. "I get it. You're into Luke, aren't you? I guess that's to be expected. Hard to compete against that accent and those abs…"
Beca stifled a laugh. "Nice try, but it's not him either. I just… thought I could ask you for your opinion. Do I tell them? Do I keep it to myself and hope that the feelings go away?"
"No way, you're not a quitter, Beca. You should tell them. And hey, if they don't feel the same, I'll be waiting with open arms!"
"I know," Beca said with a smile. "Just… don't get your hopes up."
"Oh, absolutely. Gotta stay realistic, grounded, all that. We both should."
"Um…" Beca glanced down at her watch and stood up. "Well, would you look at the time? I've gotta get to my next class, although I'm not really looking forward to sitting in a room for an hour and a half getting math equations spat at me. Anyway, I'll see you around." She waved goodbye to Jesse and departed, neither of them noticing Aubrey staring at them from across the room.
Nighttime arrived on Barden's campus, and Aubrey and Chloe were settled into their shared dorm room for the night. Aubrey was seated at her desk, working feverishly on an assignment, while Chloe watched her from her bed. Chloe glanced at the clock on the wall across from her and sat up, clearing her throat before addressing her roommate.
"Aubrey, we need to talk."
Aubrey looked up from her work and turned around in her chair. "What's up?"
Chloe cleared her throat and motioned for Aubrey to join her on the bed. "Well, there's something I want to ask you…" She smiled as Aubrey made her way over to the bed and sat down close to her.
"Okay, shoot."
"How do you feel about Beca?"
Aubrey's brow furrowed and she hesitated before answering, "Beca? Why are you asking about her, of all people?"
"C'mon, I asked you first!" Chloe replied, singing the last syllable.
"Well…" Aubrey hesitated for a moment, "She's certainly something else. I can't seem to figure her out… but there's something about her that intrigues me." Aubrey felt herself staring into space and quickly grounded herself, remembering her request. "Why did you want to know that?"
"I told her I'd find out," Chloe said, matter-of- factly. "She likes you."
"What? Y-you're joking, right? Haven't you seen the way she acts at our rehearsals? And you've seen her with that Treblemaker, what's his name, Jesse…" Aubrey bit her lip in an attempt to stop the smile spreading across her face. Chloe was giving her hope, and like a fool Aubrey wanted desperately to hold onto it. Even if there was a possibility that they liked each other even a little bit, Jesse was still an obstacle, and that thought alone took away the ounce of joy she felt just then.
Chloe rubbed Aubrey's arm reassuringly and continued, "Yeah, but she said that she cares about what you think of her, andright now it's obvious that you like her very much. But… you do know you haven't been very good about showing that when she's around? You're always so tough on her, maybe that's why she acts the way she does. I don't think she sees that you care deep down."
"I… but you know that's how I am! I'm always tough on the people that I like. I'm tough on everyone else, including you sometimes… But you're right, Beca's different, and she doesn't know that…" Aubrey sighed and felt the smile disappear from her lips. "Oh my God… Chloe… I don't want to alienate her any more than I already have… for the sake of the Bellas and… myself."
"Hey, I'm here for you." Chloe sidled closer and looked Aubrey in the eye. "You have nothing to worry about. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you two into the same bed by the end of the year."
Aubrey stood up and tried to hide the blush growing on her cheeks with her hands. "Whoa, hold on. The same bed? I don't know if I want it to move that quickly. Let me take care of this, okay?"
Chloe shook her head and reached for Aubrey's hands, holding them firmly in hers. "No way. If I do that, you'll never talk to her! You always end up running away from the people you like like, and this time I won't let you." She paused for a moment to think before continuing, "Beca would probably talk to you about it, eventually, but I—"
"Stop!" Aubrey stepped closer to the bed and looked down at Chloe, offering her a smile. "I will talk to Beca… tomorrow, okay? After rehearsal."
Chloe nodded approvingly and squeezed Aubrey's hands gently before letting them go. With a yawn, Chloe lay back on her bed. "Well, I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna call it a night. Good luck tomorrow, but remember, no pressure. If it doesn't work out, I'll be sure to give Beca a good time."
"Is that a joke? Or are you… challenging me? Is that supposed to motivate me to tell her how I feel?"
"I didn't say that, but yeah, I guess you could interpret it that way."
Chloe closed her eyes and Aubrey turned off all the lights save for the small one at her desk. "Well, it's working…" Aubrey whispered in response. She settled back at her desk and glanced down at the open textbook she had been working with. A few minutes after staring blankly at the book's bland pages, Aubrey closed the tome and stared in the opposite direction. What would she even say to Beca?"Hey, Beca, I've been in love with you since the day we met. Sorry I've been such a bitch, but would you like to go out with me sometime? Dinner and a movie? Or maybe just coffee?" She wouldn't say yes to any of that, would she? Aubrey felt her nerves beginning to get the better of her, and she took a few concentrated breaths, quickly controlling her stomach. She had to talk to Beca, but Jesse needed to disappear. I'll find him first. If Chloe's right, then I'll just have to tell him to back off. She looked back at her sleeping friend and sighed, maybe getting some sleep wouldn't be such a bad idea. Aubrey reached for the switch on desk lamp and the room was submerged in darkness.
The next day, it didn't take long for Aubrey to find who she was looking for. Sure, it helped that she happened to spot Beca while leaving her dorm, but Aubrey pushed that thought aside. Jesse was chatting the brunette up once again, and Aubrey could feel her stomach churn. Calm down, calm down. Just… wait until he's alone! Then you can give him a piece of your mind. After what seemed at least half an hour, Jesse and Beca parted ways, and Aubrey made her move, practically jogging over to Jesse and subsequently pulling him away from the concrete.
"Hey, whoa, Aubrey! What's going on? Uh… where did you come from anyway?"
"Look, I don't normally do this, but you're driving me crazy!" Aubrey took a deep breath before continuing and Jesse looked on in confusion. "You need to stay away from Beca. I'm not going to let you ruin our chance to win the ICCA's this year! I… we need her."
"What? Hey, I'm not trying to sabotage you guys! And no offense, but, who are you to tell me who I can and can't associate with? There's nothing serious going on between us, I swear. We're… just friends."
"I…" Aubrey took a step back, finding herself unable to say what she truly wanted. She wanted to tell him to shut up, to leave Beca alone because she was so envious of him. He always elicited a smile from Beca, and all Aubrey could do was cause a fire between them. As they continued to stare each other down, a familiar voice's shouting from close by took them by surprise.
"Hey, what's going on? What are you guys yelling about?" Beca walked up and attempted to wedge herself between Jesse and Aubrey. "I was trying to get to class but I think stopping World War Three from happening takes precedence."
The blonde turned around and tried to clear her throat, wanting to speak but choosing instead to take a few steps away from them, not wanting to lose her cool. She had to calm down; she could feel herself shaking as if she were back at Lincoln Center. That's going to follow me for the rest of my life, isn't it? I can't even tell them why I'm acting the way I am… oh God, I'm going to lose it…
"Aubrey, are you okay?" She could sense Beca standing close behind her and she turned her head slightly, locking eyes with the brunette. Aubrey swore she saw something like concern in Beca's gaze, and her own eyes widened as she stared a little too long.
"Yes… I-I'm sorry, I have to go," Aubrey said, walking briskly in the opposite direction. She could hear Beca shouting at her, asking her to stop, but that made her want to keep moving even more. She really was hopeless: there was someone right there who seemed to care about her and she refused to accept it. Was it really all because of some guy? Or was it because she was afraid of her own feelings? Aubrey sighed and made her way to a quiet place on campus, a bench resting underneath one of the campus' larger trees. She had finally calmed down when she sat down, but almost immediately she remembered what she promised Chloe. I said I would talk to Beca… dammit! I don't know if I can face her now…
After fighting with herself, Aubrey realized that she didn't have much of a choice. Things had been set in motion, and now she had to man up and get things done. If Beca really did like her, like Chloe said, then what could go wrong?
"Beca, can I… talk to you for a minute?"
Bellas rehearsal was finished for the day, and most of the girls had filtered out of the room, some rushing to class while others sauntered out of the place going nowhere in particular. Beca glanced around the now empty room before making her way over to Aubrey, who felt herself shaking slightly.
"What's up?"
Aubrey smiled, breathing slowly and carefully in order to calm herself down. Beca gave her a concerned look and placed her left hand on Aubrey's arm.
"Are you okay, Aubrey? Please don't, um… I mean, if you're gonna throw up at least give me a warning…"
"I'm fine!" Aubrey backed up, brushing Beca's hand away. "Sorry… and I'm sorry about earlier… I probably shouldn't have confronted Jesse like that…"
"Wait. You're apologizing. To me?" Beca felt herself smile, amazed to see this side of Aubrey. "Anyway, you don't have to worry about Jesse anymore," she continued. "After you left I asked him what happened and I… well, I ended up telling him where our relationship stands and how I want it to be, and even though he looked a bit hurt I think he understands. I told him that I only see him as my friend, someone I can talk to about pretty much anything, knowing that there won't be any drama. Not that there's always drama with the Bellas and you…"
"Beca…"
"Hey, it's okay. I kinda feel bad for leading him on, if that's what I was doing. I should've been more up front with him before this, but I guess I didn't really know how I felt about a lot of things until recently."
Aubrey bit her lip. "I see…" They stood in silence together for a moment and Beca raised an eyebrow.
"Is that all you wanted to say?"
"Um, ye—no. No. That's not all… I wanted to say."
Beca nodded and took a step closer. "Okay, let me have it. I've got all afternoon. Well, a good portion of this afternoon, anyway. Plus, I think I can handle some heavy criticism today, if that's where this conversation is going. If not, then I'm okay with pretty much anything else, too."
Aubrey paused for a second, taking a deep breath before blurting out, "Um, has Chloe been talking to you… about me?" Shit. That wasn't what she wanted to say. In fact, she meant to keep that to herself. But it was too late to try and recover.
Beca shrugged in response. "Yeah, so? Are you gonna tell me I can't talk to her outside of rehearsals now?"
"No! Damn it, Beca. You always do this… I have no idea why I like you so much…" Aubrey gasped almost immediately after those words left her lips, and Beca looked at her with wide eyes.
"Is that what you wanted to talk about? Shit…" Beca paused for a second, one hand hovering over her mouth. "Dammit, Chloe… so, she is trying to set us up, isn't she…?" She looked up at Aubrey, who looked like she might burst into tears at any minute.
"Hey… Aubrey, it's okay. I'm not mad or anything, please, don't be upset. I don't think I can handle that right now." Beca inched closer, but Aubrey backed away, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry. I like you a lot, Beca, I really do. More than I thought possible, but I've been so terrible to you! Everyone knows I'm a hard-ass by nature, but even with you I couldn't be a nice person. Yes, Chloe wants to see us together, she keeps talking about how she sees 'something between us' and that she's realized it from the first day we met. But, I don't know what you want, I've been too afraid to ask, and these feelings I get about you are really starting to mess with me. Whenever I see you, I get so happy, but for some reason I just can never allow myself to show you and I end up acting like such a bitch… And I've gotten on your case about Jesse so much because I'm so damn jealous of him. How can he talk to you so easily when all I can do is snap at you? God, this must sound so stupid! My dad always said… oh nevermind…" Aubrey glanced around the room before shouting, "Chloe, I know you're here! You're enjoying this, aren't you? Well, looks like you'll have to save me again, like usual, 'cause I'm really screwing this up…"
"No," Beca strode forward and stood inches away from Aubrey, who finally stood her ground. Once again, Beca reached her hand out and touched Aubrey, rubbing her arm before sliding her hand down to hold the taller girl's hand. "You're not screwing this up. Chloe doesn't have to save you from anything, because you and I both know that you are perfectly capable of saving yourself from any situation. And you shouldn't let those feelings consume you… if you don't want them to. Aubrey… you try so hard to control everything around you, but on the inside you're afraid that you're powerless. You shouldn't be. If… if you want to save yourself from this, if you're uncomfortable right now, then you can walk away and we'll pretend like this never happened."
Aubrey shook her head and studied Beca's face. "I won't leave. I don't want that. I just… can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"How do you feel… about me? I want to hear it from you. Not that I don't believe Chloe, but she could have sugar coated the truth."
Beca took a deep breath and stared down at their hands before looking Aubrey in the eye. "Before now, I never thought I'd feel this way, or even say it to your face: I like you a lot. No way around it. At first, I think I was confused, too. You were always so harsh to us at rehearsals, but afterwards, when I saw you with Chloe, I saw a different you. Smiling, acting more relaxed than usual, if only for a few seconds, but that made me want to see that side of you not just with a passing glance, but when you're around all of us, or even just me. I want to see you like that, but I've also come to appreciate the Aubrey that's so driven and strong-minded and stubborn. The Aubrey that knows what she wants and will do anything to get it, and the Aubrey who sticks to tradition even though she knows everyone wants her to lighten up just a little bit. So, if you'll let me, I'd like to see you… all the time. When you're happy, sad, angry, maybe even… aroused… I want to be with you, to experience those things with you. That's how I feel."
They stared at each other for a while, still holding hands, still processing each other's words. Aubrey looked Beca up and down and blushed, wanting desperately to pinch herself in order to make sure this wasn't all just a dream.
"You'd like to see me… all the time?"
"Yeah," Beca smiled, "Jesus, Aubrey, you act like no one's ever been interested in you before! Hm… I guess I should've known. You are one of those confident on the outside, insecure on the inside types, aren't you? That explains a lot."
Aubrey frowned at that, but Beca laughed. "Hey! I am quite confident, thank you very much. I am so confident, in fact, that I'm going to do this…" Her voice trailed off and Beca watched as Aubrey moved closer, pausing just as their noses touched. The blonde took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then took the plunge, pressing her lips to Beca's. As they parted, Aubrey's tongue darted across Beca's lips, and the brunette grinned, running her own tongue over where Aubrey's had been.
"You're not bad for an insecure person," Beca said, looking up at the other girl.
Aubrey smiled triumphantly and almost spoke, but a shout from the other side of the room interrupted her. Beca and Aubrey watched in amusement as Chloe ran over to them.
"You did it! I knew it was only a matter of time! Oh, um, maybe I shouldn't be here…"
"Ah, it's fine," Beca said. Aubrey looked over at her, puzzled, but Beca reassured her with a wink. "You worked so hard to get us to this point. Don't you think you deserve to see the fruits of your labor?"
"Well… sort of," Chloe mumbled, blushing. "I'm sorry, I just… I could see how much you like each other and I wanted to nudge you in the right direction…"
"Chloe…" Aubrey reached out to Chloe but Beca quickly pulled the blonde's hand away, taking it into her own and lacing their fingers together with a smirk on her face.
"No, I should go. You two probably have stuff to talk about…"
"Suit yourself," Beca said with a shrug. Both she and Aubrey watched as Chloe turned to leave, neither of them spotting the smile that crept onto Chloe's face. Once her figure disappeared from their field of vision, Aubrey turned to Beca, looking slightly exasperated and somewhat uncertain.
"So… now what?"
"I don't know…" Beca sidled up to Aubrey and rested her head against the blonde's arm. "But I think we could start with getting to know each other better. There's a little café in town that would be a great place to go for that sort of thing."
Aubrey smiled slyly. "Really, Beca? You don't seem like a café kind of girl."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Beca lightly elbowed Aubrey's side. "Fine, you're right. I only walked by there once when I was scoping out possible date locations. But it does seem… nice."
"I'm impressed by your dedication, Beca," Aubrey said, shoving Beca back. "If only you showed that same dedication at Bellas rehearsals…"
"I do too! How can you even say that?"
Aubrey laughed, capturing Beca's lips in another kiss. "I think we're going to have way too much fun with this."
Beca nodded, taking Aubrey's hands in her own. "I hope you don't think that's a bad thing."
"No, it's not. I guess Chloe really knows what she's talking about…"
Beca looked up at Aubrey, puzzled. "What? Did she say something else?"
"She told me she was going to try and get us into the same bed by the end of the year…"
"Well, well. That's pretty bold." Beca glanced over at where Chloe had previously stood and shook her head. "Do you think we will?"
Aubrey blushed. "We'll what? Sleep together?"
Beca grinned at her. "Yeah, why not? Don't tell me you haven't thought about it."
"And you have?"
"Uh…" Beca felt her cheeks flush red and she tried to take a step back, but Aubrey pulled her close. "Shit… maybe…?"
"I see…" Aubrey mused, absently running her index finger along Beca's jawline. "So what's the plan? Are you going to keep pushing my buttons until then?"
"Whatever turns you on," Beca replied, smirking.
"You really are going to drive me crazy. Not that you haven't already…"
"Glad to see I'm doing my job properly."
Aubrey sighed and the pair regarded each other for a moment before the blonde walked a few steps away to gather her books and other things.
"All right, Mitchell, I suppose I have some time in my schedule if you're still interested in getting to know each other better.'"
"You would have a schedule, Posen," Beca commented. Aubrey returned to Beca's side, reaching for her hand and leading them out of their rehearsal space with a grin on her face.
"Shut up."