No Bones About It
by Starsinger
This is an independent fic, not dependent on any my universes, just the known one. Inspired by an episode of MASH. If you've ever watched the series, you'll know which one I'm talking about. Don't own anything.
The wonderful thing about Bachelor Parties, Jim reflected, was that you could get stinking drunk, and nobody cared. Sam had finally worked up the nerve to ask Aurelan to marry him, and Jim was to be his best man. Of course she said yes, how silly of Jim to forget that minor problem.
They were sitting in a bar in San Francisco drinking the night away, and Jim and Bones felt no problems flirting with the occasional pretty girl that wandered by. "Ya know," Sam slurred, "it's a good thing Aurelan said yes. I think I'd be doing this every night if she didn't."
"Well, Starfleet wouldn't have let you do this every night anyway," Jim slurred right back.
"Here here!" McCoy replied over his glass of bourbon. "When's Carol going to make an honest man out of you, Jim?" Bones asked.
Jim belched, "Don't know, she hasn't asked yet." Sam let out an even bigger belch causing all three of them to laugh uproariously. "Hey, it's 0300, shouldn't we be getting back? We need enough time to get water down our gullets before Spock descends on us. Admiral Archer will be upset with us if we're late."
"I can't believe I rate an Admiral to perform the ceremony," Sam said, weaving to his feet and tripping over a stool. Jim and Bones manage to get him to his feet. "A famous one too!" Jim and Bones laughed as they helped Jim out into the street and they piled into the cab. Once back in Jim's apartment they watched as Sam collapsed onto the couch and start snoring.
"Hey, Jim, I got a great idea for a wedding gift," McCoy snickered drunkenly. He leaned over and whispered in Jim's ear. Jim grinned with agreement.
At exactly 1800 hours Jim stood at the altar and helped his brother turn to watch his bride walk down the aisle. Both his legs had been wrapped in plaster casts from the hips down. Jim still couldn't remember why they had done it, but was hard pressed to keep a straight face every time he looked at his brother. After the ceremony he helped him out and helped pile him into the hovercar that would take them to their honeymoon. As they pulled away McCoy asked, "Should we tell them his legs aren't broken?"
"We'll send a telegram to their hotel and have it waiting for them. I'm sure Aurelan will tear the casts off with her fingernails if she has to!" Jim said with a laugh. Brothers were such great fun!