Sanguineous

Disclaimer: I do not own Spirited Away

Chapter One: Years That Have Passed

It was raining. Rain reminded her of him. Of course it would; it was only fitting. Eyes half-mast by the droning words of her professor watched as the falling drops streaked down the window panes. She should have been listening, paying attention to the lecture. But she couldn't bring herself concentrate that day. Not during any of her classes. There was a gnawing at her heart and mind since she awoke that morning to grey skies and wet streets. How long had it been since she last thought of him? Really, really thought of him, of that experience, of that crazy adventure? She couldn't even remember. A week? A month? Two months? Even longer? Chihiro pursed her lips together gently. Guilt crept into her mind, but a long harbored sense of hurt and disappointment always came to combat it and keep it at bay.

It was why she rarely thought so much upon the ordeal these days. Back then, she had felt so hurt, disappointed, betrayed, let down... the list could go on. Her childish mindset hadn't prepared her for the pain. Now, after years had passed, after her heart hardened and her priorities were given to more tangible distractions, she eventually came to the realization that some things just were never meant to be. Yes, there was still hurt, but she wasn't ten anymore, she was twenty-two, now. A grown, maturing woman, working towards finishing her college education. Determined to take life by the horns and wrestle it to her benefit. The pain and wondering and hoping was replaced with the joys graduating from high school, starting college, getting her first job – things that pertained to the living, human world. To her world. Not that world. His world.

She didn't belong there. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

Chihiro had come to understand this, accept this, realize that he probably had done the same and that was why, in twelve years, he hadn't kept his promise. But in the back of her mind she still always wondered. Wondered what he was doing, what he looked like, sounded like, and acted like? Wistful thinking of a lingering, childish mind, she mused as she blinked languidly, lips twitching into a small smile. Even if she could never return to that place, even if that hurt lingered and she had told herself she no longer cared, there was always that part of her that wished to see him one last time so she could thank him again. To just say, 'hello, how have you been?' She believed that she would be content with that, but knew she'd just have to be content with having him gone forever.

Besides, seeing him to know he'd only disappear from her again would only rip her heart open once more. She'd try and deny it, but Chihiro wasn't that naïve. Her life was too hectic to have that added to her already full plate, so she did her best to keep such ideas from her head. Turning her eyes back to her professor, she willed herself to listen to his words and write down notes about enzymes she had forgotten the names of and dreaded all of the reading and studying she'd have to do over the weekend alongside her part-time job to catch up.

"Mom… Dad… I'm home."

Chihiro still lived at home with her parents in the same, blue house they moved into twelve years ago. It didn't bother her; it was a help while going through university. They didn't charge her rent thankfully, and aside from being normal, somewhat overbearing parents, they left her be and didn't pry too much into her personal space or life. It was an agreeable living situation until she graduated and could move. Move away from home and start another adventure. Move away from that place, not too far away, down the stone-set, dusty road to an abandoned theme park entrance that was, these days, still just that. Abandoned. From both the living world and the spirit world. At least, it had still been when she last dared to venture there on her twenty-first birthday. It would be a bold face lie if she said she had not gone multiple times. More times than she could count when she was still young. When she finally had the courage to go back and told herself that if she went alone, Yubaba would be less inclined to contract her into working without her parents there as blackmail. All she had wanted was to see her friends again. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently so, for every time she passed through that faux train station tunnel and out to that vast sea of rolling green hills, there was nothing beyond. Nothing beyond the riverbed but more grassy hills. No steps leading up to more buildings, and certainly no path that lead to the bathhouse. Just open land, as far as the eye could see.

Hearing no reply thus far, the young woman placed her dripping umbrella into a holder and kicked off her shoes, stepping up into the hallway leading from the foyer to the kitchen, dropping her bookbag off at the foot of the stairs as she went. The sound of her socked feet padded gently in her ears, but alongside it she could hear the tell-tale sound of the stove burning and pots of food cooking, signaling someone had to be home. That and the delicious aroma that permeated the house betrayed occupation. Wandering further inside, she got into the kitchen and curiously peeked beneath the lids of the pots to check the contents within. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her parents outside in their small, though quaint, backyard, sitting at a small table and chatting to one another over cups of tea. An overhead easement of a little patio protected the pair from the rain. The sight warmed the girl's heart, and yet also pulled at it. Her parents' relationship was one that made her constantly aware of her own lack of one. Chihiro was so preoccupied with school that it was difficult for her to focus on dating and boys and their nonsense, but she still longed for it. There were boys that were interested, oh yes. That was not an issue. Chihiro was an attractive girl, beyond a doubt. That chubby cheeked, lanky limbed ten year old developed into a beautiful young woman, a sort of 'girl next door' appearance to her. She was the girl guys would look at and think, 'there's Chihiro, she's cute and smart; the whole package.' But she always distanced herself in the end, even after letting a few slip past that membrane, past her defenses. She was often accused of being too aloof, too; how had they put it? Lost in another world?

The girl frowned to herself and huffed a sigh, tearing her eyes away from the scene when her mother begun to laugh and her father leaned forwards to place a quick kiss upon her lips. Chihiro's chest tightened and draconian eyes flashed unwelcomingly in her mind. If perhaps Chihiro put a little more effort into her relationships she could be happy in that area of her life as well. She blamed it on her schooling. As a biology major, she had no time for foolishness. No time for games. A lot of the guys she dated were still young and dumb. Charming, endearing and more or less good to her, but still just boys. They were too busy wanting to get ready for some get together while she was too busy studying. She felt many of them were intimidated by her. Not to sound pretentious. But the girl was bright and not afraid to show it. Not afraid to 'drop some nerdy ass knowledge' on them, as her friends would say. The guys she dated just couldn't handle that, she had told herself.

It had nothing to do with that fact that none of them were him.

This was something she had told herself many years ago. Whether she actually believed it or not was another story. But Chihiro was inclined to think that her lack of a dating life had no correlation to a certain dragon-boy. Such an idea was simply preposterous, childish, and outright idiotic. And that deep down in her heart it was not true, that she wasn't still waiting on him. To do so would be utterly foolish.

Yes, Chihiro was simply too busy with school to worry about boys, and for no other reason.

Padding back to the stairs, she grabbed her bag and headed up to her bedroom. The sight of her bed made her groan longingly. Disposing of her backpack in the middle of her room, she waddled to the bed and flopped down unceremoniously, the sound of her front hitting the plush duvet a satisfying swish of air escaping from the confining folds. She laid there for many minutes, listening to the sounds of the rain as they gently pelted against the window, letting the melody ease her troubled thoughts. Despite herself, her mind slipped back to that rainy day at the bathhouse, when she encountered No Face for the second time before he found himself inside and chaos later ensued. She remembered the day after, and all the water, so it looked like they were marooned upon an island out in the middle of an ocean. And then she remembered him again, him in his other form, being chased by Granny's paper birds. Remembered her daring rescue mission up to Yubaba's private quarters. Remembered how worried she had been. Remembered-

No. No more. The young woman frowned deeply and mentally pushed aside those memories before the old scars could possibly open again, and the rain would be mimicked upon her face as tears falling from her eyes. As much as it hurt to not think on him, it hurt more to do so. This vicious cycle of forgetting then remembering, ignoring then accepting, needed to stop and stop for good. She needed to rid herself of the ordeal before one day it would eat her alive from the inside out. It was like a cancer that was going in and out of remission. No matter how many times she addressed it, suppressed it, was a victor over it, it managed to come back. Now it was more proper to compare it to a splinter to suit her current mood. Something foreign and evasive, intruding in her skin. Annoying and potentially harmful. But once removed, life went on and the site healed new. And yes, there was always chance for more splinters to come, but it was something conquerable. Something that, if careful enough, she could avoid altogether.

The sound of her name being called to her visibly startled her, but it was only her mother calling up to her to announce that dinner was ready. Willing her heart to slow, the girl crawled out of her bed and drug herself downstairs, thwarting off the concerned worries of her parents with a simple 'I'm just tired,' rather than the truth. Even after twelve years she had not told them of what had happened to her that day they moved. Hadn't told anyone. Who would believe her? No one, that's for sure. No one except maybe someone else the experience happened to, which had such high odds that she doubted she'd ever find one. That or all humans who happened upon the spirit realm themselves had been turned into pigs or some other creature and were long since gone from the world. She had thought many times on the possibility of there being someone else, even just one person in all of Japan, who had crossed over, had been through it all and made it back. But how would she even contact them? And there was always the high chance that they had forced the experience so far back in their conscious, repressed the memories so well that it would be like they had never gone at all.

As Chihiro ate, she reminded herself that this was just another recurring phase, and that within a few days her studies would consume her, the rain would let up, and thoughts of a dragon-boy and bathhouses would be replaced by biological functions and protein structures. The thought reassured her, and the girl finished her meal, thanked her parents, and retreated back to her room to begin her evening studies. The night passed well with minimal thought on the ordeal, and Chihiro went to bed, her dreams calm and not pertaining to anything in particular, and she woke in a much better mood even though it was still raining in the morning. This cycle continued for the next few days as the rain gradually cleared, and the spring skies were crisp and clean with the only clouds being wispy tendrils high up above. Chihiro was able to clear her mind of the spirit world, fading away for now with the rain. The week passed quickly, and Friday came like a blink of an eye, and after class she was making for her part-time job at a small mom-and-pop restaurant where she worked as a waitress.

Ueda-san and his wife, the owners of the restaurant named Ueda's, respectively, were a lovely middle aged couple. They hired on Chihiro four years prior, when she graduated from high school and wanted to start working and earning cash on her own. It wasn't a super popular establishment, but she enjoyed the quiet atmosphere. It specialized more as a café-esque bakery than anything. And Ueda-san's wife could whip up a mean batch of dumplings. Chihiro was surprised she wasn't as big as a house. The owners always sent her home with a bag full of left over goodies to take to her parents. The building always smelt amazingly delicious and in the quieter hours of the day if there wasn't much to do, Ueda-san usually let Chihiro study. Friday nights were usually hit or miss. It could either be dead, or swamped. Well, swamped for Ueda's standards.

Aside from Chihiro, there were a few other servers that worked for the Ueda's. Tonight Kokumei was on with Chihiro. She was a young woman of twenty one, just a year behind Chihiro. She attended the same university and was an art history major. She and Chihiro got along quite well and they were good friends outside of work as well. Kokumei was a funny, outspoken kind of gal. The kind of person who typically spoke what was on their mind and could be a little sarcastic and come across as a little abrasive at first, but Chihiro liked Kokumei a lot. She never beat around the bush and tried to kept things as black and white as possible, something Chihiro always appreciated. She had a knack of getting under the other servers' skin because of her blatant behavior, but she was always kind and respectful to the Ueda's and to her customers. She wanted her tips just like everyone else did.

The pair sat at a table by the front window of the café. It was a dead night again that saw them folding napkins for the next day. Kokumei was telling Chihiro a story from one of her classes about some piece of art by some artist she didn't know, but she listened attentively regardless. The other girl's processed, copper-hued bangs fluttered gently in the breeze of the fan above them, and her eyes crinkled as she laughed, dark yet elegant with the smoky-eyed makeup she typically sported. She was a beautiful girl a lot of guys chased after, but like Chihiro she was smart and wise. And she enjoyed playing with their minds Chihiro noted early on, something she found amusing, though the boys did not. It took a special kind of individual to handle the sharp-tongued girl, someone with a backbone who could take well to playful verbal beatings and stand on par with her linguistic skills without shying back with their tail between their legs. It was always a good laugh to watch. Kokumei was one of those girls who stereotypically didn't look too bright, but looks were often deceiving. She liked to call it her weapon of choice.

Chihiro figured that her and Kokumei got along so well was because Chihiro was a pretty laid-back person, and did not get offended easily. Kokumei was easy to get along with if you could handle some verbal jabs that did not always come across as being jokes but weren't meant to cause real harm even if they often did. Also, because Kokumei was an intelligent girl and could offer her both stimulating conversation, as well as being comfortable with discussing the more trivial and often disturbing, personal things that most people would not normally talk about to each other out of embarrassment. Like how long Kokumei's leg hairs had gotten over the last few weeks of not shaving, or other similar unnecessary information that lead to bouts of uncontrolled laughter. That and the girls could be complete and utter weirdos and nerds together and revel in one another's idiocy while the guys would look at them like they were different species all together and the other girls like they pariahs and social miscreants. Kokumei was never without the proper comeback for their muttered words or odd looks.

As the pair dealt with their chore, Kokumei finished her story and the two sat quiet for a few moments. Chihiro spend the silence to think about what school work she had left to finish that weekend as she neatly folded another napkin to its specified configuration. Setting it aside with the others, she glanced up and out the window just in time to see someone walking past. For a moment she thought time had halted to a stop along with her heart and breathing. Grey eyes locked onto a pair hazels, their hue inhuman, like the color of green-olives yet rich and vibrant and serpentine. Hair that was also green though dark, almost looking black but by the betraying light of the setting sun, framed their head in an almost messy, wind-swept manner. His skin was pallid, like freshly churned cream, and his mouth was pulled into a faint frown, that same, icy glare she so vividly remembered. His eyes a proper, stoic match. Chihiro didn't notice what he was wearing, only having attention to spare for his face. She turned her head as he passed by, but the young man did not stop or pause, eventually breaking eye-contact with Chihiro and disappearing out of site. The sound of Kokumei's low, drawn out whistle brought her back to reality.

"Dayum," she quipped, "who was that? He's one hot piece of ass. Mmm!" Chihiro looked back to see her friend's dark eyes peering out the window still trying to watch the retreating backside of the fellow for as long as she could manage. "I'd definitely hit that." But Chihiro wasn't sharing her friend's sentiments. She wasn't doing anything, but peering down at the napkins before her but seeing nothing, eyes wide and heart racing in her chest. Her hands now in her lap were quivering. Kokumei finally noted.

"Hey. What's wrong?" But Chihiro did not answer. It was like she was in shock. She felt like she was in shock. She heard Kokumei speak again but she didn't understand the words, like she heard them through water, slow and languid and undistinguishable. "Chihiro? Chihiro are you alright? What's wrong?" Kokumei reached over the table to place a hand on the startled girl's shoulder and give her a little shake, trying to garner a response from her. "Hello?" she called out in a sing-song tone. "Earth to Chihiro!" Still, the older did nothing yet.

Within her mind her thoughts raced as fast as her bounding pulse. Memories flashed in her mind, memories of him and that place. That had to have been him. It had to! It couldn't be coincidence. It looked exactly like him. Exactly! Older yes, but still the same distinguishing features. Still the same haunting eyes. But… but what was he doing here? What did this mean? After all this time, after all these years, why now? Why, why, why?! She had to know. She needed to know. It was detrimental to her entirety at that moment. Still not hearing Kokumei's worried voice or noting her arm shaking her, Chihiro rose to her feet and started to head for the door. Finally she noted Kokumei after the girl came before her, blocking her path.

"Chihiro!" the worried girl said, her usual curt and snarky voice now laced with worry. "Hey, hey, not so fast. What's going on? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Mei," Chihiro started to say, calling the girl her often used nickname. "I… I just…" Kokumei watched her expectantly, eyes darting back and forth between Chihiro's.

"You just what? Is something wrong? Do you know that guy? The sight of him had you looking like you saw a ghost, girl. Tell me what's up." Chihiro wore a more or less frantic expression.

"No, no… it's not like that. I just… I gotta go. Can you tell Ueda-san that I… that I got sick and had to go home?" Kokumei threw her hands up, displeased with that answer.

"Go?! Go where? Will you just freaking tell me what the hell is wrong, Chihiro? It has to do with that guy, doesn't it?" Oh, if only she knew, Chihiro said to herself. If only Kokumei knew. It had everything to do with 'that guy'. Chihiro didn't know what to say and gave her friend a look she knew the other would understand. That 'please just understand and don't make me explain' look that was universal between good friends. Kokumei heaved a sigh and looked defeated.

"Okay. Alright. But please be careful, Chihiro. Don't make me regret letting you leave." Chihiro smiled and gave the girl a look of utter gratitude.

"Thank you! Thankyouthankyou!" she belted out as she went to grab her coat, shoving her arms into the sleeves and slipping her messenger bag's long strap over her head and onto her shoulder, dashing to the door soon after.

"Be careful!" she heard Kokumei's voice with the overhead bell as she raced out the door and down the street, thoughts of her friend fading quickly away as she thought back to those draconian eyes. Being Friday there were a good many people out and about. Chihiro weaved around them, too eager and anxious to offer a single 'excuse me'. Her only goal was to get back to her neighborhood. Back to that place, the place she hadn't been to in over a year. The place she both loved and despised. She knew, just knew she had to get there. If he were someplace waiting, it'd be there. It'd be where he last left her. She knew it in her heart. Despite all the vehemence that had built up within her towards him since that goodbye twelve years prior, the sight of him dispelled it all. Now it was filled with questions and longing. A longing to see him once more. Hear his voice and touch his pale skin so she'd know he was real and that crazy adventure had happened and she wasn't a lunatic.

Eventually she found herself at the hill that lead up to the path. The so-called 'shortcut' her father had called it all that time ago. The shortcut that would change her life forever. Her legs burned and her lungs ached for a steady flow of oxygen. But she didn't care. She ignored it and ran. Ran until pavement turned into stone and the open evening sky was covered by the thick canopy of trees above her. Until those 'little houses' littered the side of the pathway and the smiling statue greeted her, ever-present and covered in moss. And until its sibling met her before the looming entrance to the faux train station, the red paint looking a little more chipped and worn than she recalled. The wind moaned just as it had the first time, picking up stay leaves and blades of grass and carrying them past the threshold and beyond. Chihiro slowed to a stop, eager to continue but her body demanded respite. She caught her breath, heaving in greedy gulps of air, clutching her side and a stitch therein.

She didn't rest long, continuing inside. The girl no longer ran, but rather walked quickly, through the station. Her chest tightened with each step and her pulse quickened. It was as she left it a year ago, and she went on through until the pathway opened up to the sea of green grass. The sky was glorious, mottled in the distance with clouds and streaked with gold and pink. The sun was getting lower and lower and she knew she had to hurry. Hurry before the water came. If it came, a little voice in the back of her mind said, but she ignored it. She had to believe that this was it. That this was the day she had been waiting for. She wouldn't turn back. She wouldn't give up until she scoured the area and could say for certain that perhaps her mind played a trick on her that that young man just shared an eerily, coincidental resemblance to him. Chihiro picked up her pace to a jog, the blades of grass parting as she went beneath her shoed feet. The fields seemed to go on forever and the sun dipped lower in the sky, and she picked up her pace.

At last she was approaching the riverbed. Each time she had returned the field was just that, vast, endless, rolling hills of green upon green once more after this land mark. Her anticipation built higher and higher, welling so profoundly within her that she was sure that she would burst at the seams, unable to contain it. Such a strong sense of joy washed over her, that when she finally crested the hill that would lead back down to the riverbed, the sight of nothing more than more grassy hills beyond the trail of rocks it left her so quickly and painfully it was like a bus had hit her squarely. Without realizing it tears begun to streak down her face. Joy and anticipation was now being replaced by hurt and disappointment.

Oh, how utterly stupid she felt. How foolish, childish and moronic Chihiro felt.

The young woman didn't bother to make her way down the hill to the riverbed. Her eyes continued to search beyond it, but the dying light of the evening sun betrayed only grass and nothing more. No stone steps. No frog whose open mouth emitted a steady stream of water. And certainly no signs of the infamous dragon-boy. More tears rained down.

Chihiro's chest hitched and her hands clenched into fists. Why couldn't he have just been there this time? Why did he show himself to her, after all these years, only to hide once more? As much as it would be easier to think that that young man she saw merely looked similar to him but was not, her heart would not let her mind delude it. She knew that was him. Knew it. In the dim glow of twilight Chihiro slowly made her way back across the field and to her home, her heart torn open anew and her mind fleet with the gnawing, agonizing question 'Why?'. Why would he do this to her? Did he wish to torment her? Or was her mind really that delusional and playing a cruel joke? But that couldn't be. Kokumei had seen him, too, had she not? So he had to have been real, right?

Heaving out a shaken sigh, his name fell off her lips like some lost, forbidden word that was dangerous to even whisper but spoken as if it might help ease her troubled heart and answer all her questions:

"…Haku."

Author's Notes: Hello everyone! I couldn't help myself when I got an urge to start a SA story. So, low and behold another fanfiction! Yay!

I know all my Turgid followers will be highly displeased with me for not spending my time updating. Sorry ;u; I just absolutely adore SA and have always wanted to write a fic for it.