Song fic- song: be the light by Block B
summery: Neji's world was dipped in grey and her eyes held so much brightness that he never stopped to think, her world would be the same.
rated: K
umm... I know all the mentions of light get annoying, i'm so sorry! this was very rushed. Please review!
It's dark and I can't see
I put out my hand but only the wind clashes
I don't know why but this place is strange
I'm getting used to this misery
I live like a shadow
It's dark… It has always been dark for the Hyuga prodigy, and many times he pondered why before giving up; because he never came to a good conclusion. Initially he thought the curse mark was trapping his light outside of his cage, but that couldn't have been it. After that theory was thrown out he came up with a more logical one; that maybe the years of overusing Byakugan had somehow permanently damaged his normal eyesight. He later deems this theory incorrect because her eyes always seem so bright.
Neji was an early waker, he did not sleep heavily either. Whenever he would lay awake at night the satisfying feeling was so unfamiliar. Plunged in darkness that would never truly dissipate even with the moonlight filtering in from his window- He wasn't supposed to be like this, it was horrifying how used to the darkness he was getting and how he was strangely okay with it.
When the moonlight was replaced by the golden drops of early morning sun nothing really changed. His room was simple, devoid of anything that could really personalize it, and he stared...stared...stared… sometimes with his Byakugan on, most times without. Everything was white- white walls, white doors, white bed sheets, white windows yet such a dull and sapping white that he felt drained. So how shocked the prodigy was when one day he awoke to brilliant dazzling and bursts of color. So shocked he jumped and covered his eyes with his arm letting a hiss escape his mouth.
"Neji nii-san?"
"H-Hinata-sama?!"
Her lavender orbs widened as it was not his forte to stutter, it was hers, back when she was young.
He glared at her with such an intensity she started shivering where she stood. He hadn't meant to she was just so… bright and in stark contrast to what he was used to waking up to.
"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have been in your room while you were sleeping...and uhh, not fully dressed!" She looked down finding his wooden floor very interesting for some reason.
"Hn…" He looked down to sigh at his bare chest, typical innocent Lady Hinata. He grabbed a shirt and shrugged, "It's fine." Then he disappeared into his bathroom to wash up and maybe examine his eyes in the mirror. Despite the new and clearer view this morning his eyes did not appear even the slightest different in his reflection.
As he walked out of the bathroom frustrated he noticed that Hinata was no longer standing in his room, although her chakra was right outside his door. His head moved from side to side as he let out a sigh in frustration, he didn't know why but his room was back to what it always had been and this time, he found no comfort in this, it seemed so unfamiliar.
As he was walking side to side with Hinata he wondered, why her eyes were so bright and why she could see the world through such vibrant colors that rimmed her so called colorless orbs. Why did she call the sky a "crystal light blue" because to him it was dull, the flowers a "happy yellow" because to him they were melancholy, like the pages of a scroll that was crumbling of old age. Was it, maybe, a main house thing? That she could live the world that was splashed in color while his was guarded.
It was okay though. He thought she deserved it, it made her who she was. He wasn't sure if she could live the way he did. He was fine with this, he was fine forever living in this shadow world that was painted in dark blacks, dirty whites, and so so so much grey, but he was sure she wouldn't be.
With the useless hope that you'll look at me at least once
The conversation I have with you all night in my imagination
I'm deep inside of you (I can't get over)
Only you can light up my surroundings
It's dull… It has never been so dull for the Hyuga failure. When her mother was still by her side Hinata's eyes could take in everything. And by everything she meant just that, and in great detail. Throughout the years though, it seemed her eyes had started slowly giving away to the pain that surrounded her. She was a failure, the next Hyuga Heiress was a huge disappointment. The boy she had meet at her 3rd birthday [he was supposed to be her friend and protector] hated her… Young Hinata couldn't explain why, but day by day her garden, the village, her home, seemed to be getting darker and darker.
That is of course until she meet the loud and spontaneous Naruto Uzumaki. Her bodyguard Ko Hyuga had warned her countless times about approaching him, about how that kid was a troublemaker and horrible monster. Hinata never understood how someone who significantly brightened her fading world could be so horrible. And that's when her admiration had started.
Up until the chunnin exams having Naruto by her side had lightened her whole world, she could be better, she could get stronger, she could actually do things with her own power and prove herself. Because of this motivation thought she ended up being lifted to the hospital, a severe blow to the heart, by the Hyuga prodigy himself.
When she awoke she started by having a panic attack that greatly surprised the medics. Lashing out, the young Hyuga had started screaming and crying "I can't see them! I can't see them!" the medics feared that she had gone blind. Far from it… Hinata deemed this was far worse. The world had turned into a messy blur of grey.
It was only when the bright blonde burst in with flowers in hand and a loud "HINATA-CHAN!" that the colors bombarded her and nearly made her faint in shock. "N-N-Naruto-Kun…" yes. He was her source of light, he was, he had to be, the reason her monochrome world washed right out of her vision and was filled with bright and blinding lights. And that was what she believed for the longest time.
Except she found… it didn't quite work that way because as she grew older he just couldn't seem to spark her world in fascinating brightness anymore. She was greatly confused by this and wondered who then, just who could help her moody eyes. And she could have never put together that on the day she deemed it was naruto [while in the hospital] she never noticed a certain Hyuga prodigy watching from the corner.
Neji had wanted to speak to her that day, tell her how regretful and awfully guilty he was [this of course was after his fight with Naruto], but he never got to. She was staring at the blonde idiot with such fascination and respect and everything in between. Standing helpless he wished she would just look over, just once and notice him, let him apologize. But she didn't and so he found himself muttering under his breath "I'm sorry my lady," but of course she would never hear him as she was focused on a certain dobe.
On the day Hinata's world sparkled and burst with color, Neji's couldn't have been any darker.
Be the light
Shine on my black and hidden heart
Melt me from being frozen
So that I'll be so overbearingly bright
That no one else can look at me
In her later years, Hinata was long over the fact that Naruto was not her source of light and color or happiness for that matter. When him and Sakura got together claiming they were soulmates, Hinata had cried, but the tears never washed out the lights she was seeing and so, determined because she was now a strong Kunoichi, she got over him.
When Neji had finally opted to train her they were on good terms, it just took them a few years. Hinata was shocked when the sparring sessions had begun, every time they connected her world would burst, at first she pulled away, afraid. He had used her shock to dive in and attack, frowning at her easily distracted mind. "Hinata-sama! You must not suddenly get distracted!"
"Hai…"
Never had she thought it would be him, so maybe her theories were wrong and her eyes just had good vs bad days. There was just no way that she and Neji were somehow… connected, that she was somehow dependent on him, at least for her brilliant vision, could there?
Be the light (shine your light on me baby)
Even when you slightly pass by me,
I feel like everything has been taken away from me
Hinata seemed frequently dazed whenever they sparred and mostly it annoyed Neji to no end. Sometimes, when he gripped her wrist and refused to let go hoping to twist her lightweight over, she would gasp and wriggle from his grip.
"Hinata-sama, the opponent will not just let you go if you simply squirm!"
Could she not understand this?
"Again!" He gripped her arm and waited generously for 3 seconds so she would move. Nothing. Veins popping [and not just from Byakugan] Neji flung her arm away from him.
"We're done for today, next time come prepared with a will to fight."
Days, weeks, months had passed but Hinata was still rigid during their practices and allowed him to hit her many times, sometimes he was even suspicious that she allowed for his palm to hit. It almost seemed like she was testing how many times Neji could hit her, and his patience.
He would never know it was because despite the pain, she just had to know, without a doubt. Trial, trial, trial, and trial again, just to make sure it really was Neji who was her source of light, spark, of electricity and...life.
"That's it… Hinata-sama, we're done...again." They had finished early because Neji was just finished tolerating somebody who had no will of defending oneself. He turned to leave about to yell a harsh comment about how she should be prepared tomorrow but her voice beat him to it.
"Neji-nii-san…" he waited, "We should stop training… Together I mean…"
He continued indifferently, or seemingly so, "Hn, if it is your wish Hinata-sama"
He never felt like there could be so much lost inside of him because of a simple sentence. It was almost as if something slipped through his fingers or snatched out of his hand. Grumbling he looked up at the rain that was starting to fall. Why did it have to rain in such dark and harsh sprinkles today out of all the days?
I don't want to lose you
You linger by my side like my breath
But I can't touch you
So I get more desperate
It most certainly was not her wish to stop training, but she simply had to. It just didn't make sense to her. So Neji really was her source of light in the world [and along with that many other things because light was not just simply for seeing things clearly, it wasn't]
She knew she had to get over it. Maybe like she did with Naruto, maybe then she could make or even find a new light. It simply could not be Neji for many reasons. The main being that she was sure he still thought of her as weak, she even thought of herself as weak so what would the prodigy think? She could never reach his level, or satisfy his wish for a strong… uhh partner.
He was always by her side. His room was down the coordinator, he protected her from seemingly everything and anything, even her own father had a hard time messing with Hinata when Neji was around. These days they were having more and more missions together once the original teams separated and they were nominated to Jonin.
Hinata kicked the tree stump for the hundredth time and then deemed it time to take a quick breather, her thoughts drifting back to her old sparring partner...partner. Like her heavy panting breaths he was always by her, his voice ringing in her ears, his touch sending racking shivers throughout her body, and his eyes...making her heart shudder and twist like it was doing now, but not in overworked tiredness but excitement.
Yet he was forbidden. Hinata's husband was to be chosen for her by her father, and his no doubt by the council. She desperately wished she could take her words back and ask him to train with her again but it was useless… she couldn't risk falling deeper and deeper for him, because he was untouchable and she was so unworthy.
Through his window overlooking the training grounds a certain Hyuga watched his cousin as she leaned her weight on her knees and panted, resting. She was so close [he could jump down and reach her in a few broad steps] yet so far away and unreachable. The heir of this prestigious clan and hauntingly beautiful princess. He desperately wished he could tell her this, but he couldn't, a mere Hyuga branch member wouldn't dare, someone who tried to kill her many years ago had no right, he was so unworthy.
Be the sun during the day and make me warm
Change into the moon at night and give me an ecstatic romance
I chase after something that twinkles far away, I can see in the dark
The day the rain stops and you shine on me
This love will bloom again
As the seasons changed Neji became the great person everybody in the clan expected of him. Now in the Anbu black ops, as a very young leader too, he let his Hawk mask slide off his face giving his distinct character again. He always found it ironic… a hawk, one bird that seldom ever was put in a cage.
"Nii-san?" He turned warily to face a worried Hinata who was rubbing the sleep out of her dreamy eyes, they were so bright especially tonight as they were focused solely on him sparkling like stardust. Maybe the darkness around amplified the intensity with which her eyes shone, who knows.
While he was musing over her eyes and how incredibly blinding and mesmerising they were she ran up to him and wrapped her frail arms around his torso. He watched warily as the bloody uniform soaked her pure white gown.
"Hinata-sama, I highly doubt this is appropr-" He stopped short when her heard her first whimpers break out, and sighed calmly, "Hinata?" her body was warm, like the morning sun and calm sunset sky.
"I- I was so worried! You said you'd come home in a week!"
Neji smiled and pet her silky indigo hair as he bent down to lean into her shoulder. "Hinata-sama have some faith in me… I said I'd be back no matter what."
It was true.. the prospect of leaving Hinata to wait and without a guardian was unthinkable to Neji. While they were tracking his target Hinata was like a constant beacon and source of stamina for his straining Byakugan and muscles. Like the sun that guided their direction and kept their time in check, at night she plagued his dreams and forced him to get up, to keep going. He imagined her eyes, like the spread out blanket of stars overhead, waiting for him and he could see the hope that this mission will be, must be, successful.
"I'm just a guardian thought, you can always replace-"
Again he was cut off by her violently shaking her head, "Never!" she whispered her eyes ignited with a burning fire of anger, "Don't say that again Neji-nii-san!" Neji looked down at her skeptically and his heart almost jumped out of his chest. "As you wish Hinata-sama."
"Just Hinata… Don't ever let me get worried again… Please Neji!" She pulled away to get back to bed, Neji felt like a sudden thunderstorm pulled over his head soaking him in a bitterly cold and empty wetness.
Be the light (shine your light on me baby)
(You're always by my side look)
Neji wondered why it was so hard to get some much needed sleep in the Hyuga compound. His eyes shot open and he grabbed his katana before bolting to her room. He was glad the stupid bastards decided to attack today [although he would have highly appreciated they did not at all, oh well their lives] If it was before he returned from the mission… well he didn't know what he'd do.
Hinata was kicking and whirling and fighting up a silent storm, not wanting to awaken anybody as foolish as that was. Before the man could aim for her skull to knock her unconscious Neji sliced his blade straight across his back.
"Hinata-sama!"
"NEJI! NO!"
This was all she had hoped to avoid… the one thing she didn't want. It was unstoppable, the three men, not idiots by any standard, turned simultaneously and because they expected a bodyguard and that he would be stronger they went as planned. The three long silver weapons punctured through the prodigy as he fell to his knees in utter shock.
You become clearer in the thick darkness
Making my eyes go blind
I pace back and forth at the place where your breath touches
Filling up the empty spots and making a guy like me into a memory
Watching over you from the same spot is the way to keep you without pain
You're all I see and you're all I need
Just be there like you are now, please
"Neji"
"Please...oh no… please, you can't"
Open… eyes… stay with me…
The first thing he sees is her stark white eyes and crystalline tears. "How.." He noticed the perspiration trickling down Hinata's forehead and winced feeling for his wounds, miraculously closed. Confused he looked around, the three blades were now sticking up from… ohh… ohh.
"Hinata! Are you alright?" He sat straight up despite his body's loud protest. "Yes, yes fine…" she panted, her chakra drained but fine.
Seeing Neji go down awakened something in her she never thought was possible. Her arms became blurs of blue whirling tigers and the veins on her temples throbbed with intense concentration. They were slow, slow, all too slow. Hitting, twisting, kicking, and finally stabbing all of them she barely had time to be shocked and mortified by herself because he had to heal Neji.
As he lay in the pool of blood her vision was becoming more and more bleary, more mundane, colorless, without spark. Even her palm that was glowing a reassuring green did not look reassuring until his breathing started to even out and his heartbeat stopped fluctuating.
All he was trying to do was protect her, she knew this; he told her that was the sole reason he was living, breathing. She knew that he would be content with just dying for her but she could not, and would not accept this. He wasn't just some bodyguard or mentor, he could not be replaced, by anyone, not even her older bodyguard Ko. He's the one she needed, the only one she had eyes for, the only one that colored her world.
Be the light
Even if I cover my eyes with my hands
I can't erase you
Now reminiscing the past she tries to explain what happened that night.
When he first opened his eyes, the world seemed to stop;Time became a simple topic, a "once was" thing, it seemed to stop to nauseating crawl, like the lazy koi in her pond. Yet it seemed also like it was going too fast, constellations and whole planets burst behind her eyelids, behind his too. The room was up in flames, not quite so literally, the moon outside was a sharp blade that was too startling to look at, it's rectangular imprints marking the floor.
When he leaned up and kissed her [in his gratitude, in his love, in everything he was ever feeling for her that he had stubbornly hidden away] she closed her eyes and kissed him back [in her happiness, in her love, in everything she was ever feeling for him that she had stubbornly tried to ignore.]
She closed her eyes to enjoy the kiss but it wasn't dark, it was blinding in fact and she fisted his clothing astonished by the overbearing amount of light.
"You're my light Neji… Even if I close my eyes I can't erase you…"
He smirked, no jib or mockery behind it, "Then don't."