I decided to take a break from my NaruTema story and decided to make this oneshot Neji special.
Neji answers all your questions:
Neji: Hello, I'm getting paid to do an extra show to answer all your questions fans!
(Loud audience cheering)
Neji: I know your excited folks, so today the first person we will be interviewing is none other then Rock Lee!
Rock Lee: So what will be your question Neji?
Neji: Hmm, someone wrote asking: Rock Lee, Tell us more about your green spandex suit.
Neji: What the HELL?
Neji: Well Lee? Tell us more about your ugly green tights.
(Lee looks excited)
(Loud audience cheers louder then ever)
Rock Lee: This 100 polyster outfit is excellent for training! Its slenderness and lightness makes it extremely easy to carry around and you won't even feel it as it hugs your muscles tenderly and will provide warmth to your entire body!!!! Call 1-800-SPANDEX and take advantage of out limited 2-for-1 offer!!!! Call now!
No refunds, bitches! Offer expires June 12, 1934. No refrigerating required!
Neji: (sweat drop) Hope that answers your question! Oh GOD that was long! Okay, next we have Sakura.
(Lee gets pushed out of the stage)
Neji: Hi Sakura! Let's read the question!
" What's Sakura's next plan to get Sasuke?"
(Neji looks very happy)
Neji: Care to share Sakura?
Sakura: Well, I was thinking, The moment he gets back to Konoha, I will catch him in a dark alley when no one's there then………. Then, WHAM-O, FLASH NO JUTSU!!!! Sasuke will be mine! HAHAHA!!
(Censored for purposes)
(Blood gushes out of Neji's nose and faints)
10 minutes later……….
Neji: Wow! Anyways, We will be interviewing Hinata now. Come on out Hinata!
Hinata: H-hello
Neji: the question is…….
"When will Hinata finally make a move on Naruto?"
Neji: Well Hinata?
Hinata: (thinking) How did they know I like Naruto? I didn't give any hints. (back to reality) I…I… (Faints)
Neji: I guess that will remain unanswered. Next up is Itachi? Oh no! C-come on out Itachi! The question is……..
"Is there something going on between Itachi and Kisame?"
Neji: So tell us Itachi.
Itachi: Actually, We've tried a relationship, but it didn't work out. He's a shark after all, so making love to him proved extremely difficult. I mean, I have bruises everywhere! Literally everywhere!
Neji: Oh god! Thank you for sharing that info! Okay, our last one for today, Gaara!
Neji: The question is…………
"Neji, when will you finish your GaiLee fanfic?"
Neji: Er, wrong question! So how about telling us about you instead!
Gaara: Well, I brought my whole family along .
My name is Gaara of the sand. (GOTS for short)
This is my dad, He tries to kill me a lot. (pulls out knife)
My uncle Yashamaru. (enters with sparkling lights)
Neji: Uncle?
Gaara: My bro, Kankuro, who plays with dolls.
Kankuro: Their deadly action FIGURES!!
Gaara: Temari is the sand whore!
Neji: And I'm the Konoha one! Want my number?
Gaara: And of course, mommy! (points to the gourd)
Neji: Right, anything else?
Gaara: I can dance!
(Instant change of clothing and sparkling lights appear over Gaara with a rose in his mouth)
Neji: (sweat drop) Righhhhhht! That's it for today! See you next time and remember to read my best friend's story called Naruto and Temari: Old friends to New Lovers on Aaaand cut!
Neji: Whew! Finally! Time to puke! (touches uvula) BLAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!