Tommy's POV
"Wanna scream out
no more hiding
don't be afraid of
whats in side"
~ Aftermath Adam Lambert~
I really like this guy…even though I shouldn't, but I guess I'm fine with it. I accepted that I was different long time ago, maybe even fully gay who really knows. I've never really put it into play or told anyone. First of all I didn't really have anyone to tell anyway…well I used to but she left to soon and if I ever did tell anyone I think that I might be gay… my life would be over and my parents… well lets just say that I would no longer have any parents. But I guess that was a risk I was willing to take for love, I mean you don't fall in love with a gender…you fall in love with a person.
You see ever since my best friend Mia got hit by a car and died shortly after the accident, when I was fourteen years old I had never been the same. She was my best and only friend, Mia understood me the way no one else could I wasn't like the other guys and she never ever judged me, not even once. I never really got over Mia dying, even now I still have nightmares every now and then, but I try my best to put it all behind me. When she died it had a great affect on me…believe it or not I used to believe in a higher power…I really did, but when she was just snatched away from me like that, I lost all hope and turned atheist. My parents tried everything to drag me back to church, but nothing worked instead I saved up all my money and invested in a Bass guitar self teaching my self every Sunday morning when my parents were out, Music meant nothing to them. All that was important to them was education, bass guitar and music has helped me get through the toughest days and nights where I could still see Mia's eyes shut close for the very last time and for that I would never give up on it.
I didn't cope with my life at all back then… well I did but not in the way I should've, I was a cutter but the only reason I have now accepted that I'm different so well compared to others is because of Mia…When she died the very last thing she said to me before she shut her eyes for the very last time was, "Your beautiful just the way you are, Don't ever change…For anyone."
Ever since that day I have now told myself Mia's last words every day, so here I am now today happy, confident, sixteen years old, Crushing on this really hot guy and in Yr10. Adam, Adam Mitchel Lambert is his name after staying silent and too shy to even smile at him for about a month I decided to go talk to this mysterious guy today, I don't know what it is about him but something keeps me drawn to him. Although he is always wearing black and never really talking to anyone to be honest he is a bit anti social, but its not like I can talk…I don't really have any friends either. I'm sure he doesn't mean to be anti social though or anything but knowing how cruel life can be there is probably something or someone behind why he acts the way he does…
The school bell rang just like it did everyday at ten o'clock for recess except this time I followed Adam into the cafeteria and pulled up a chair beside him, "Hi there I don't think we've met before…I'm Tommy Joe Ratliff, do you mind if I sit here?" I asked with a slight smile.
His reaction kinda confused me it looked almost as if he was scared of me or something then after about a minute he replied in the softest voice, "Adam, Adam Mitchel Lambert…sure you can sit here…" It was almost as if he had no feeling…his face was so unreadable…no expression whatsoever, but I didn't mind I mean he is probably just freaked out that I randomly decided to sit with him after all this time of us both sitting alone.