I know that there's already a lot of 'coffee' fanfiction for this series, but I just wanted to bring my story count up. I am not a guy. My first name is not John. My last name is not Flanagan. Therefore I am not John Flanagan.

*Will comes back, still bouncing like an evil koala bear on a sugar high.*

LBB: "Why do you do that?"

*Will makes a sad face*

LBB: "Oh no, there's nothing wrong with it. I quite like it actually, but... um.. I just wanted to know...why?"

Will: "The Carebears want me to perform in their talent show." *grins maniacally*

LBB: "Okay..." *slowly backs away*

Alyss sat by the fire in a chair watching the two rangers opposite her. These Rangers were some of the most feared men in Araluen. These Rangers were the most deadly she knew of. These Rangers had both suffered under the same mentor for years. These Rangers had faced Death so many times, she was surprised they weren't dating her. These Rangers were currently bouncing up and down on their seats, giggling like five year olds with deep voices as the center of their universe was brought to them. Not their family, significant others, or best friends, of course not. They weren't addicted to drugs, but they were addicted to something almost worse. Coffee.

Earlier that evening, when she had said that she couldn't fathom why they were so obsessed about it, she had gotten multiple shocked stares. "Alyss, do you know how we drink our coffee?" Her significant other had asked her. That question, and it's obvious answer had earned her a seat in this very tavern. They had gotten a raised eyebrow when two men and a beautiful lady had gone into a... questionable pub late at night and ordered... coffee.

"Here you are, good sirs."

Will shoved a handful of coins at the man and waved him off, still bouncing in his seat like here was no tomorrow. He and Gilan simultaneously let out high pitched squeals as the smell of the brew reached them. They calmed down at the disbelieving look Alyss was giving them, and with enough pomp to fill the Kings parade they poured out the drink. She took her cup and nursed it quietly, blowing on it after every few sips. Will and Gilan on the other hand set theirs in front of them and reached into their cloaks.

A fountain of white powder fell into their cups from the small bag they held in their hands. Will licked some off his hand and smiled at the ceiling. "Mmmm. Sugar." Alyss looked on in horror as first nearly half a cup of sugar fell into each of their mugs, followed by at least seven energy drinks, a few candy bars, chocolate syrup, pure caffiene, and multiple baked goods, all this stirred with the largest, most brightly colored lollipop she had ever seen.

The two men bowed to each other and linked arms. They opened their mouths wide and spilled a seemingly endless concoction of insanity into them. They appeared not to swallow for at least a few minutes, and when the cups were empty, they fell to the floor gasping and wheezing. Alyss sat in her chair, to shocked to help them get up and recover. From that moment on, she would never look at coffee the same way again. Finally she recovered enough to drop to her knees and check on her love.

"Will? Will? Will! Are you alright?" She shook his shoulder gently and he looked up at her through his shock of brown hair. One of his pupils completely blocked out his iris, while the other one was too small to be seen, his mouth was twisted into a crooked smile and she could see his teeth rotting from the latest attack on them. He giggled absurdly and she snatched her hand back.

"Oh god, what have they done?"

Wills POV

As he recovered his breath, Will felt the adrenaline start surging in his veins, the sugar going straight to his head and staying there. Songs floated through his head, purple Carebears breathed fire atop tall mint green towers while the Teletubbies danced around a sacrificial alter down below them. Wills feet were in the sky and he was zooming around on his head, avoiding the purple and white polka dotted lobsters that wanted him to play fetch.

That really annoying yet catchy, song by the Wiggles drifted through the ground and created a ladder for him, Will walked over multiple fruit salads telling him he was "yummy, yummy" until he reached the castle in the sky. There was a dragon in the tallest tower and he knew that he would have to defeat the precious maiden guarding the castle to rescue it.

Suddenly a tall young woman stood before him and breathed fire, roasting all his marshmallows away. He cried out, "I will defeat you! And save the dragon too!" but she just laughed and told him "Will? Will? Will! Are you alright?"

A Carebear flew by and threw the entire cast of Mario Kart into her face. Will found this astonishingly funny and giggled like a small child. He then turned around and ran across the golden mashed potatoes of doom because he knew that he had to go save the wild Meatballs of the Sahara from being eaten by the giant blue balls of yarn. They never had really gotten along very well, you know.

Well, that actually turned out rather differently than I had planned...hmm. BTW, yes, I firmly believe Death is female. So are Fate, Earth, and Time.

If you like this, read my other RA story, Playing the Game.