No Time For Hate

by Atlantean Pineapple

Sometimes, the simplest things can change a life; things like a young woman asking a young man to dance. But is it really so simple? In a time of hate, Buck finds love. Set during and shortly after S1 episode, "The Keepsake".

Disclaimer: I do not own The Young Riders.

Timeframe: During and after the season 1 episode: "The Keepsake". This was started before seeing any more episodes and is written with no reference to any episodes past "The Keepsake."

-o-O-o-

No Time for Hate

The night had been going well for Buck until that girl had come up and asked him about scalping people. He'd forced a smile and made a joke, but his good mood was affected. Why did people have to bother him? For a moment he had thought she wanted to dance…

"Nice evenin', don't you think?"

Buck's head turned quickly toward the soft voice. A young woman stood next to him, a smile on her face. She was full-figured and perhaps a slight bit on the heavy side, but it just gave her a cheery kind of prettiness. Her long, wavy hair was brown with a tinge of red near the bottom and her eyes were a light gray-blue color. Her dress was modest and of a dark blue color. He forced another small smile.

"Yep," he said, a little harder than he meant.

She shifted slightly and then met his gaze. "I was wondering if I could ask you somethin'."

"What? You want to know if I scalped anyone, too?" he said roughly, taking her nervousness as a sign of distrust and fear.

But as soon as he spoke, the nerves disappeared. She drew herself up and arched an eyebrow at him. "While that does sound… like an unusual conversation, I meant to ask if you'd like to dance."

For a moment, Buck was silent. He just stared at her, surprise quickly turning into a reluctant remorse. Either she was messing with him or he had just blown it. And she didn't look like she was messing with him. "Oh. I'm sorry." He looked away from her, ready to spend the rest of the night in silent shame.

"Well?"

Buck almost jumped when the voice spoke again. He looked over to see her still standing there, her features soft again and a few nerves showing themselves again. "Well, what?" I can't do more than apologize…

She gave a small laugh. "Well, will you dance with me?"

"You still want to?"

She smiled and nodded once. "If it's not too forward of me."

He shook his head slowly, a real smile coming to his lips. "I'd be honored."

"I don't know about that. I'm not very good," she said.

Buck couldn't tell if she was being modest or not until they started moving with the music. She wasn't the best dancer by far, but she wasn't bad either. She simply didn't have enough practice.

Not a moment later, Cody caught his eye. He made a thumbs-up and sent him a goofy grin. Jimmy smirked and said something to Cody that made the young man droop before making a comeback. Buck rolled his eyes and returned all his attention to the girl he was dancing with.

"You have interestin' friends, Mr…"

"Buck. Call me Buck."

"Charmed, Buck." She dipped slightly in the middle of a step, and added, "I'm Isabel."

The song ended all too quickly and the two stepped apart. "Thank you for…" Isabel started, but she was interrupted by Buck holding one hand out, the other behind his back.

"You've asked me to dance with you. Now may I ask you to dance with me?" He gave her a lopsided smile and watched as a tinge of red crept onto her cheeks.

"I'd be honored," she said, mimicking his earlier words.

"Of course you will be. I'm a great dancer," he joked.

Isabel laughed.

It wasn't long, however, before Buck heard a girl's whisper and a giggle behind his back. And when they had moved enough that he could see where it came from, he saw the girls who had pestered him earlier laughing and pointing at him- no, at Isabel. He frowned. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked for a second dance."

Isabel shook her head slightly. "Ignore them."

Buck looked surprised.

She shrugged. "They're just a few little girls with too much time on their hands."

Buck finally relaxed. It was good to feel like someone didn't care what everyone else said. Not for a second did she appear to give in to the pressure of the eyes that followed them every now and then, or the laughing of the girls.

"Why doesn't it bother you?"

"Because I'm not doin' anythin' that I should be bothered by."

"I don't think they see it that way."

"Those girls never liked me anyway," she said. "Apparently, I'm not like them." An ironic tone came into her voice.

"You're not," he agreed.

After that second dance, the two retreated to the fringes of the room. Buck had noticed Isabel's breathing had changed; it seemed a little harsher. They were quickly joined by Jimmy and Cody. Cody gave Isabel what he hoped was a charming grin, and said, "Hello, there, Miss. I'm William Cody and my less-handsome friend here is James Hickok."

Isabel took both their hands briefly. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cody, Mr. Hickok."

"No need to call me 'Mr.,' Miss," said Jimmy.

"James," she said in acceptance. "I'm Isabel. Isabel Hannah."

"Lovely name," Cody said.

"Thank you," Isabel said politely, looking over at Buck. He appeared a little disappointed.

James smiled while they weren't paying attention and elbowed Cody. "Excuse us, Miss Isabel. I think I heard Lou callin'."

Cody looked confused and annoyed. "I didn't hear…"

"Well, that's 'cause you've eaten so much, the food's pluggin' your ears. Now come on." With that, he dragged a resisting Cody away.

"I'm sorry," Buck said, rubbing a hand over his face. "They're…"

"Good friends." She looked up at him and said. "Would you mind steppin' outside with me for a while? It's a bit warm in here."

Buck nodded, amazed again at the girl's easy acceptance of both him and his friend's antics.

Once they were outside, Isabel leaned back against the wall of the building, looking up at the stars. Buck joined her.

"Aren't they beautiful?"

Doing something he didn't usually do, but had heard the others say, Buck looked over at her. "The stars aren't the only beautiful thing I see."

Even in the dark, he could see the faint pink color her cheeks as she met his eyes. "You're too kind."

"No. Not nearly kind enough." For a moment, he thought he saw a tear in her eye as she looked back to the stars. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course, Buck," Isabel said, not taking her eyes from the night sky.

"Why do you treat me like… What I mean is everyone else has this… Why don't you have a problem with what I am?" He stumbled over his words. It was a question he'd never had to ask. Now he was sure he saw a tear, but when she looked at him, she smiled.

"Because I don't have time to hate, Buck. I only have time to love."

"What do you mean?" Buck asked, his eyebrows drawing together.

"Just somethin' I like to live by. Don't worry yourself over it. Tonight's a good night. Let's enjoy it."

-o-O-o-

By the time Teaspoon came out to round up the rest of the boys, Isabel and Buck were sitting on the ground, their arms brushing and Buck's hand rested on Isabel's.

"Gettin' ready ta go, Buck, so get up off yer… Oh. Hello, Miss Hannah. You look well. Hope your trip wasn't too rough."

"Thank you, Mr. Hunter. You look remarkably dashin' tonight."

Teaspoon laughed loudly. "I knew there was somethin' I liked about you. It seems you have one of my boys, there. I'm afraid I'm gonna have ta take him from you."

"Of course."

Buck jumped to his feet and held out his hand to help Isabel. She took it and rose, keeping eye contact with the handsome young man.

"I hope to see you again, Isabel."

She smiled. "Thank you for your company tonight, Buck. You made it very special."

Without really thinking it through, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek so quickly he was almost convinced he hadn't really done it. Except for the flood of color on her face.

Isabel squeezed his hand. "Goodnight, Buck, Teaspoon." She nodded to the others before walking away, a little too quickly.

Buck saw her lift a hand to her face, and he imagined she wiped away a tear. He just didn't know why. "Goodnight, Isabel," he whispered.

-o-O-o-

The boys went directly inside, ready to crash. All except Buck. Teaspoon caught his arm after Emma and his daughter entered the house.

"Buck… I don't want ya to get too attached ta Miss Hannah," he said, trying to make sure the boy didn't think he was in trouble. He'd done nothing wrong, after all.

Buck looked confused. "Why?"

"I…" Teaspoon hesitated. "It's not my place ta say. Just… be careful, son."

"You're worried about the town, aren't you. You're afraid of what they'd do to me if anything happened between us."

"No," Teaspoon snapped. He sighed. "It has nothing ta do with that. This warning is specific to Isabel."

"And you won't tell me why?"

"I can't. But you could ask her if ya must. Just know that I would prefer it if ya wouldn't seek her out."

"I won't promise anything."

"Not askin' ya to." He clapped a hand on the young man's shoulder. "Sleep well, Buck. Tomorrow's another day!"

-o-O-o-

Technically, Buck didn't seek her out. He just happened to see her when they went into town for supplies. And then he just happened to stay behind when the others went back with the supplies.

"Isabel!" he called.

She seemed to jump a little and spun to search out the source of the voice. He felt his chest swell as her face lit up upon making eye contact.

"Buck!" she said happily, moving back toward him. "How are you?"

-o-O-o-

"So… He just wanted ta do a little extra shoppin', did he?"

Kid's eyes shifted. "Uh… Yep, that's what he did."

Teaspoon nodded slowly and moved on to stand in front of Cody. "Really? I thought he might've bumped into a girl."

"Oh, if there was a girl, Teaspoon, I definitely would have seen her," Cody said with a laugh.

"Hm." He stepped in front of the last person in the line. Jimmy Hickok. "I thought it might've been Miss Isabel Hannah." He leaned closer to look into Jimmy's eyes, the intense stare giving nothing away.

Searching for easier prey, Teaspoon moved back to Cody. "Not that I particularly care. In fact, I like Miss Hannah. I just want you boys to learn ta tell me the truth."

Cody almost spilled the beans with a happy chuckle, but something in Jimmy's general direction smashed his foot. He sucked in his breath and held his tongue.

Hearing footsteps behind him, he spun on Lou. "Did she have brown hair?" he exclaimed suddenly.

Lou's eyes widened. "Who?" she asked, unaware of the secret.

"The girl Buck stayed in town with."

"Yah…" Lou gave the boys a strange look as they made wild gestures behind Teaspoon's back. "Real pretty, too." When Ike slapped his forehead, she figured she'd said something wrong.

"Was her name Isabel?"

"I don't know, Teaspoon- What's this about, anyhow?"

"Just tryin' ta get the boys here to cooperate. I don't like it when they lie. I might make them do extra chores as punishment."

An eruption of complaints came from behind him, along with a few affirmations that it was indeed Isabel. At this point, they figured it was all over, anyway. They weren't even sure why Buck hadn't wanted them to tell Teaspoon what he was doing. Their blind loyalty ended where extra chores began.

-o-O-o-

"Are you sure you have time to just carry my groceries around?"

"Of course. If I wasn't here, I'd be back with the others. And I prefer your company."

Isabel laughed softly. "They seem like good fun, though."

"They can be. But mostly they're just big pains…" He stopped there.

Isabel could tell that, despite his less than complementary words, he was quite fond of the other riders.

"Why is it I've never seen you before?"

She suddenly seemed almost unwilling to look at him. "You heard Mr. Hunter at the dance. I've been away," she reminded him.

"Are you alright?"

She looked up and saw concern in his eyes. Letting out a sigh, she took the single bag from his hands. "Buck… thank you for this, but… I don't think you should waste your time with me."

Buck's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "Teaspoon said something similar the night I met you."

"He knows what he's talkin' about, Buck. I… I've really enjoyed your company, but… I think it's time I stopped being selfish." She turned and started walking, not able to look at him before doing so.

Buck caught her arm gently. "What are you talking about?" Ignoring the fact that people were watching them, he turned her to face him fully, placing his hands lightly on her shoulders.

"I'm not supposed to say." Her voice sounded strangely weak and she still would not meet his eyes.

When Buck tilted her face up so he could see it, he saw tears gathering in her eyes, though her expression tried to defy them. "Are you in trouble?"

She laughed a little. "No, Buck, I…"

"Isabel!"

Buck and Isabel jumped back from each other, Buck still watching her, Isabel immediately locating the man who had called her.

"Just a moment, father." Isabel looked back at Buck and searched his eyes for a moment. He could see in her eyes when she made her decision. "You should invite me over tonight."

Buck blinked in surprise. "I should?"

"I can see only one way to ease your mind on this subject. I will tell you what you want to know then. But now, I have to go."

"But how do you…"

"I'll see you tonight, Buck. Tell Teaspoon I still love him."

And then she was gone.

-o-O-o-

"So, have a little date, did we?"

Buck raised an eyebrow. "She said to tell you she still loves you. Not sure why, though."

Teaspoon chuckled. "She's a good girl."

"She tried to tell me I was wasting my time with her. You didn't have anything to do…"

"Of course not, boy. Like I said, she's a good girl. She's just tryin' ta do what's right."

-o-O-o-

Isabel didn't show up that night, and Buck was starting to think that her words had just been a ruse to get him to let her escape. But then Sam had shown up looking for him.

"Anythin' we can do for ya, Sam?" asked Teaspoon, looking up at the mounted sheriff.

"I'm looking for Buck."

Buck stepped out from the bunkhouse where he had been watching them from. "I'm here."

"I…" He looked unsure. "I came about Miss Isabel Hannah."

"What? Are you going to tell me to stay away from her, too?"

"No, Buck…" He sighed. "Isabel asked me to give you a message. She said she didn't want you thinking she lied to you or that she didn't want to come tonight. She just wanted you to know she would be here if there was a way she could."

Buck's eyebrow's pulled together. He knew the other riders were gathering to hear what was going on. "No offense, Sam, but I didn't think your job included delivering personal messages."

"It doesn't, but Miss Isabel is an exception. I have to get back now."

Before Buck could ask any questions, Sam left.

-o-O-o-

Buck knocked on the door with only a slight hesitation.

"Can I help you?" asked a tired-looking woman whom he knew was Isabel's mother.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm Buck, I'm a… I'm a friend of your daughter's."

"Oh," she said, and for a moment, he thought he heard excitement in her voice. Then she repeated the word and it sounded sad. "Oh. Well, come in, then." She shut the door behind him. "Wait a moment while I let Isabel know you're here."

Buck waited in silence for a few minutes before Isabel's mother reentered the room. "Right through that door, Buck."

Buck didn't move immediately. It seemed odd that the girl's mother would direct him to her room instead of Isabel simply joining him out there. But even with the feeling of something off, he wasn't expecting what he saw when he pushed open her door.

"Hello, Buck. I'm sorry you have to see me like this. I was goin' to tell you, but… Well." She was lying in her bed, sweat beaded on her skin, which was now sickly pale. He could hardly believe this was the same girl he'd seen only hours earlier. Her eyes were tired and her hand shook a little as she held it toward him, asking him to come in farther.

"You're dying," he said, his voice breaking against his will.

She let out a short laugh, and he wondered how she could muster it at a time like this. He knew it was for him. "Yes, but not tonight. I'm sick, Buck."

Things started making sense. He suddenly understood the brief glimpses of sadness he saw in her eyes, the tears she hid the night they had met, why he hadn't seen her around, why she said she didn't have enough time… Why Teaspoon didn't want him to get too attached to her. But it was too late. He was already attached to her. And finding that he would soon lose the chance to really get to know her made him feel something so heavy he could hardly stand it.

"Would you come over here? I promise I'm not contagious."

Buck didn't think he'd care if she was. He took a few slow steps toward her bed and sat in a chair that was placed beside it.

She smiled weakly over at him, and he looked down at his hands. "I'm sorry, Buck."

This brought his eyes back up to hers. "For what?"

"For being so selfish."

"What are you talking about?"

"I shouldn't have asked you to dance that night. You were just… lookin' so handsome, and… I couldn't stand how hurt you looked. I told myself I'd just dance with you once and then leave, but… You were more than I had thought. You were so kind and… charmin'. I never thought I'd… meet someone like you." She had to stop and take a few breaths in between some of the words.

Buck reached over and grabbed her hand. "I don't think that's selfish," he said softly. His other hand came up to brush a strand of wet hair from her forehead. "Sounds like you were following your heart. There's no shame in that."

Her eyes roamed over his face. "But it's hurtin' you, now. I never wanted… to hurt you. You have such… a beautiful heart."

"No, that's you."

She made a sound that was almost an airy laugh and her eyes closed. "I won't think… any less of you… if you leave… and forget about me."

"I could never forget about you, Isabel. I wouldn't want to." He smiled at her even though he wanted to hit something. He had a feeling she could see through it.

"Don't be angry. No time for anger, Buck… not for me, not for anyone."

Suddenly, she went still and he could no longer hear labored breathing. "Isabel?" he said, his voice raising in panic.

"She's just asleep, boy."

Buck turned to see Isabel's mother standing in the doorway. "How…"

The woman held a finger to her lips. "Come on out and we can talk without botherin' her."

With one last glance at Isabel, Buck got up and left the room.

"Please, sit." Isabel's mother sat on one of the chairs in the room and gestured to one across from her.

Buck took a seat shakily. "Ma'am…"

"You can call me Molly if ya like."

"How long does she have?"

Molly shook her head. "We don't know. The doctors don't even know what it is." The woman sighed. "She could go any day, at any moment." The words were whispers she had had to repeat too many times.

"She seemed fine when I met her. I had no idea she was…"

"She has good days. More and more recently." The woman smiled. "And she seems happier. I think you have something to do with that."

"How could I? I hardly know her."

"Yes, well, when you're in a situation like she is, time loses a lot of power."

"I think I'd lose it."

"For a while, she did. She was eleven and she just sat around and waited to die. She blamed everythin' and everyone and she hated the world. Then one day, she got up in the mornin' and went outside. She found a horse. It had been shot, scraped up pretty bad, and was bony as death, but she said it just kept walkin'. And when it saw her, it came right up to her, nuzzled her face, and laid down right there. She decided to take care of it. I would hear her talkin' to it sometimes, when I would go out to check on her. She would ask it why it kept goin' or why it still trusted anyone. She said it was nice to have someone to talk to who could understand what it felt like to be so close to dyin'. When it had recovered, she seemed to be a different person."

Buck tried to imagine a young Isabel being so heartbroken, but he just couldn't do it. In her room, she had been so weak and yet she still smiled at him. "I almost can't believe it. She's so…"

"I know. When she first started actin' that way, I couldn't help myself. I asked why she changed. She told me, when that horse had been so beat up and defeated, it came right up to her and it decided to love her, even though it had every reason to fear and hate anythin' on two legs. She said the horse didn't have time to be angry, because it had to keep movin' forward, it had to focus on livin'. And it knew to live it had to love. So she said that's what she was goin' to do. She told me she didn't have time to hate. She just wants to love until the day she dies. I'd been so afraid if she'd gone on with so much anger, she would've been dead long before her body died, so it was such a blessin', that horse."

"Mama, I think I want to go into town tomorrow."

Both Buck and Molly looked quickly toward Isabel, who was leaning heavily against the wall. Buck's eyes widened and he got to his feet.

"What do you think you're doin', Isabel?" Molly exclaimed. "You should be in bed."

"I'm fine."

"You can go if you're feelin' better."

Buck was confused. "Do you think that's a very good idea? Maybe she should wait a few days."

"Oh, I find bein' out… and about is better for my health than bein'… cooped up."

"But could you collapse or… something?"

"That's not too likely… I'm usually fine in town."

"But…"

"Would you like to go with me, Buck?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… to assume…" She looked at her bare feet.

"No. I'd love to go with you. I'll just have to talk to Teaspoon."

"Are you sure… you want to do this, Buck?" Everything about her was sincere and humble. He knew she just didn't want him to get hurt. But he felt it would be more selfish of her not to let him into her life than to get close to him.

He smiled and took a few steps toward her. "I do." He brushed a thumb across her cheek, removing a tear before saying, "But if you want energy for tomorrow, you should get back in bed. Come on, I'll help." He pulled her arm around his shoulders and felt her lean on him as he walked her back into her room and lowered her to sit on the edge of her bed. Molly stood behind them.

When Buck turned to go, Isabel took his hand. He looked back and leaned toward her at her request. "I never thought I'd get the chance to fall in love like this," she whispered.

"I never thought I'd fall this quickly," he whispered back.

She smiled, and Buck could see her eyelids drooping again.

"Sleep well, Isabel." He touched his lips to her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow." Then he moved back, nodded to Molly, and headed back to his home.

-o-O-o-

"So now ya know, do ya?"

Buck looked up at Teaspoon as he entered the house. No one else was still in. "She's sick."

"Yep."

"I still want to see her, Teaspoon."

Teaspoon nodded. "Your decision. Now, thinkin' realistic-like, I'd have to say you're lookin' for trouble, but honestly… I'm proud of you for doin' this."

"You don't think I'm saying this out of pity, do you?"

"No, son. I just think it takes a bit of courage to risk lovin' somethin' that will certainly leave you."

"It's better than the alternative."

"Which is?"

"Betraying myself. And hurting her."

"Sometimes life comes fast, don't it."

"Sometimes it leaves fast, too."

"And that's the truth of it."

-o-O-o-

Buck hadn't been expecting her to ride as well as she did. The others seemed pretty impressed too. It wasn't because she did tricks or rode faster than the wind. It was because the grace she rode with was amplified by her normally clumsier movements.

But even more, Buck wasn't expecting to see her riding at all; he'd expected to go to her house to see her still in bed. Her skin was still a little pale, but for the most part, she seemed fine. If he hadn't known already of her illness, he wouldn't have thought anything of it. But he did know.

"Hello, there, Miss Isabel."

"Hello, James."

Jimmy walked beside the horse and Buck watched as he said something that made Isabel laugh. Jimmy smiled when Buck approached them and tipped his hat to the girl. "Keep an eye on that one, Isabel."

Buck elbowed his friend as he left. "Good morning, Isabel."

"Mornin', Buck."

"I don't have to do any rides today, so if you're feeling up to going into town… Or we could just stay here, if…"

She laughed a little. "Don't worry so much! But I think I'll take you up on your offer of staying here for a while. My legs are a little shaky."

Buck nodded, his face getting serious. He reached up and helped her off her horse, his hands lingering on her waist when her feet touched the ground.

"Really, Buck. You don't need to worry. I'm fine." She gave him a reassuring smile.

Buck smiled back, relaxing somewhat. He looked at the horse behind her. "Is that the horse?"

Isabel nodded and raised one arm, the horse meeting her hand partway. "Her name is Confianza."

"Well, let's let Confianza have a snack while we go inside."

The day went by too quickly. Even when she stayed for dinner on Emma's invitation, Isabel wished there were more hours in the day. She sat on the bench at the table between Buck and Jimmy. As Jimmy asked her something about riding, Buck's hand slipped off the table and took hers. She was sure Jimmy was wondering why she was suddenly blushing.

She stayed another half hour before Lou noticed she was wilting with every passing minute, though she was still very much enjoying herself.

"Hey, Isabel, didn't you want to get home before it gets too dark?"

Isabel looked over at the "boy" and smiled. "Yes, thank you, Lou. I really should get home soon."

"Well, Isabel, you're welcome any time," said Emma.

"Anytime!" added Cody with enthusiasm.

"Thank you very much. It was a pleasure seein' you all." She grudgingly pulled her hand from Buck's before standing.

Teaspoon stood also. "Good havin' ya, Isabel. Buck will make sure ya get home safe."

"Oh, that's not necessary…"

Buck got his feet. "It's no problem." He smiled at her. "I want to."

There was a round of "ooohs" that came from the boys that made Isabel blush again, and they set off.

-o-O-o-

Buck didn't stay long once they reached Isabel's house. He could tell she was more tired than she let on.

"We should do this again sometime."

"You mean the others didn't scare you off?"

She laughed. "No, I think they're great."

"Yah, I guess they're alright."

"It's time for you to go, boy."

Her father was there now, and he didn't seem too pleased to see Buck, though he didn't act completely hostile.

"Goodnight, Isabel. I'll see you sometime soon."

"Alright. Be safe, Buck." She gave him a quick hug, and her father cleared his throat.

Buck gave her one more lopsided smile and left.

-o-O-o-

Buck found Lou and the others waiting for him when he got back. It looked like they'd been having some sort of serious conversation. Jimmy looked like he was contemplating something depressing, the Kid looked uncertain, Lou appeared very serious, Ike looked concerned, and Cody looked like he thought the rest of them were crazy.

Buck looked at each of them with a look of question. "Something happen while I was gone?"

For a moment, no one said anything. Then Lou spoke. "Somethin's wrong with her."

"Excuse me?" Buck said, his eyebrow's drawing together.

"Isabel. She's sick, isn't she?"

"I just say, if it's contagious, I hope I don't get it," Cody said.

"What?" Buck's jaw clenched and his face darkened in anger.

"That proves it. It's worse than we thought."

"She really is sick? I thought Jimmy was just boring her." Now Cody looked more pale than usual.

"At first I didn't notice, but she looked so tired and pale before she left…" Lou said. "How bad is it? Will she recover?"

Jimmy looked up at Buck expectantly. He liked the girl, and he was hoping for some good news.

"No." Buck moved toward his bunk. "She's dying."

There was a heavy silence. "Are you gonna be ok, Buck?" Lou and Ike had moved closer to him.

"For now." Lou reached out and squeezed his shoulder and Ike clapped a hand on the other one. Buck nodded. "I'll be fine."

-o-O-o-

"Why are they lookin' at us so funny?" Isabel asked, sounding truly curious. It had been a week since she had come to see him, and this time Buck had taken her into town. They'd been out for about an hour.

Buck cleared his throat before speaking. "You know I'm half Indian, right?"

Her eyes widened. "You're half Indian?" she asked in mock surprise. "I didn't even notice. I just saw a man." She leaned closer to him and whispered conspiratorially. "Me, I'm a quarter air, a quarter fire, and half water. Well, forty-nine percent water, one percent clumsy. I may even have a little tree on my mother's side. It's why I'm so sturdy."

Buck laughed. "You're not clumsy."

"Oh, yes I am, and you know it."

Buck looked thoughtful. "Alright, you're a little clumsy."

Isabel bumped him. "Hey, you're supposed to keep denyin' it."

"How about I get you a treat instead?"

"Hm, that's sounds fair."

Buck told her to wait outside a store while he ran in. A moment later, he came out with a small, brightly colored bag and a pretty white flower. He walked up to her and tucked the flower in her hair above her ear. She laughed.

"Thank you."

"Ah, but that's not all. Close your eyes."

Isabel gave him a curious look before doing as he said.

"Open your mouth."

She did so. Buck ignored the eyes on him and pulled one of the juicy strawberries from the bag and raised it to her lips. Her eyes popped open as she took a bite out of the sweet berry.

Buck grinned. "You like it?" he asked, lowering the rest of the strawberry as she chewed.

"It's very good." She gave him a shy smile as her hand met his and she took the second half of the berry from him. "You should try it."

Buck's mouth crinkled up in a crooked smile as his eyes closed. He felt her fingers brush his jaw and he opened his mouth, quickly tasting the sweet tang of the juice. He bit the fruit short of its leafy crown and chewed before opening his eyes. Isabel was close to him, her cheeks pink.

For a moment, they just watched each other, leaning closer so slowly they were almost unaware they were doing it. They jumped when a hand landed on each of their shoulders.

"Hello, Buck, Isabel," said the cheery voice of Sam.

Isabel looked at him with wide eyes, like she had been caught reaching for the last biscuit at suppertime. "S-Sam! Um, hello. H-How are you today?"

He gave her a look. "Haven't run into too much trouble yet."

Buck's eyes were wider than usual, but he also looked a bit annoyed with the older man. "That's good. Maybe you should go find some."

Sam looked at Buck with an insulted look for a moment before something seemed to hit him. "Oh. Oh! Right, I'll go make sure everything is fine in the saloon. You two have a good day. Call me if ya… Uh, goodbye."

Isabel stared after him a moment before she started to laugh. Buck smiled, and as her laugh gained momentum, he found himself laughing along.

-o-O-o-

Two days later, Buck was sent out. He returned after four days, and he found he wasn't as anxious as the first time. The first time he had ridden after finding out about Isabel's illness, he had returned half-panicked with the thought that she might be dead and he hadn't been there. This time, he just wanted to see her face.

And he did, sooner than he thought he would. Ike had ridden out, and Buck walked inside to find Jimmy, Cody, Teaspoon, and Emma listening to Isabel read.

He stopped just inside the door and listened until she stopped at what must have been a very suspenseful part of the book, because everyone except Emma started telling her she couldn't stop there, of all places. But she was smiling at Buck.

"You have a safe ride?"

Buck nodded as the complaints faded. "Uneventful."

Teaspoon spoke up. "I asked Isabel ta come over today ta meet ya. You were so upset last time."

"Now what did I tell you about worryin'?" Isabel teased.

"To stop," Buck said with a smile. He walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek.

"You should go get cleaned up. Maybe Isabel can finish this chapter for the boys while you're gone. They may hold her hostage if she doesn't," Emma suggested.

Buck nodded. "I'll be back soon."

"Well, come on, Isabel, what happens next?" Cody urged. Jimmy leaned forward with eagerness.

-o-O-o-

Buck heard a few paragraphs of her reading, and he wished he had some way of preserving her voice. With every moment he spent with her, he began to value the little things one can easily take for granted. When she was done reading and Cody and Jimmy released her, Isabel and Buck went outside. They pulled themselves onto a fence and sat looking over at the horses and toward the setting sun. Buck took her hand and Isabel leaned her head on his shoulder.

"You're beautiful, you know," Buck said suddenly.

"And you're handsome, Buck. The most handsome man I've ever seen."

"I doubt that."

"It's true." She lifted her head to look at him. "In my eyes, there's none better."

He turned his face to her and for a moment, he almost said something back. Then, he kissed her.

A few minutes later, Teaspoon walked outside to see if Isabel would mind coming back in to finish the story because Jimmy had lost all interest when Cody had tried reading it aloud, and he saw them sitting on the fence of the corral, looking at each other in what was almost surprise. When he saw them lean closer and make contact again, he reconsidered. Slipping back into the house, he said, "Boys, the readin' is gonna have ta wait."

All three of them crowded the window.

"That's really rude, boys," Emma scolded. "Leave them be."

Without turning, Teaspoon said, "As the responsible adult around these parts, it is my duty to keep an eye on things like this."

Emma raised an eyebrow behind his back. "And those two?"

"Jimmy, Cody, go help Emma wash the dishes or somethin'."

"You, too, Mr. Spoon. I'll keep an eye on them."

By the time Emma got the boys and Teaspoon in the kitchen and returned to take a quick peek out the window, Isabel had her head against Buck's shoulder again and Buck's hair blew in the soft wind as they watched the sun sink lower.

-o-O-o-

A few weeks went by when Buck would go see Isabel at her house or in town, or Isabel would come see him and the boys any chance they got. Jimmy and Cody had listened to an entire book read by her. And somewhere along the line, Buck wanted to ask her to marry him, though he was still looking for the right moment. He knew she may not live long enough for more than an engagement, but he wanted her to know just how much he loved her. And he still held hope in his heart that she would survive. He enjoyed every day with her, every moment, and then one week, he felt a warning in his heart. A warning he hoped had nothing to do with Isabel.

-o-O-o-

It was the middle of the night when Sam rode up. He ran to the bunkhouse. "Buck!"

Buck was awake. He'd heard the horse coming. His pants and shoes were already on and he was shoving his arms through his vest.

"They think it's time, Buck."

"I probably won't be back tonight," he said to his friends, hardly noticing they also seemed to be dressing.

"We'll meet you there."

But Buck was out the door before Jimmy had finished the sentence.

Buck rode as fast as he could to get to Isabel's home. The door was opened for him and he ran in without stopping. Molly opened the door to let him into Isabel's room. He could see why they thought her time had come. He'd never seen her that bad. She was drenched in sweat, her face was white as a sheet, her chin was jutted in the air, and her eyes were scrunched shut.

"Isabel?" he whispered.

Her eyes flew open. "You made it."

"Of course I did."

"I look… awful, don't I?"

"No, you're still beautiful."

"You're… so… full of it."

He let out a laugh that was almost a sob. "It's true."

"I think… this time… it's real, Buck. No more… time… for me."

"Come on, of course there's time. This is just a bad night, that's all."

"I wish… that was true…"

Buck smoothed her hair back from her face, looking helpless.

"I have… somethin' for you."

"What is it?" Buck asked, not wanting anything unless it was her being well again.

Isabel held out a simple gold ring in a severely shaking hand. "It was my… grandfather's. He said he wanted me… to always remember… him. I… want you… to have it… to remember… me."

"I can't, Isabel, you…"

"I… won't need it… Buck. You… completed my life… I only wish… I could be there for… you as you grow… into the beautiful man… you will be."

Buck reached out and took the ring, his own hand shaking now. "Please don't leave me," he begged, his voice choking on barely withheld cries.

"I'll never… leave you, Buck. I'll always be… watchin' out for you… Remember that. You're never… alone, even when… you feel like… everythin' has deserted you. I'll be there… your friends will be there… never alone, Buck. And I'll… always… always… love you."

"I'll always love you, Isabel."

She smiled even as more tears spilled from her eyes. Her finger reached up and brushed his cheek. "Remember… not to hate… Buck. Remember… no time… Just love."

Buck buried his face in his arms as the air left her body in one final whisper and he cried as if the tears would never stop.

-o-O-o-

The funeral was held outside on Isabel's parent's wishes. She'd been stuck inside long enough in life, and they knew she would've have wanted the fresh air. There were words spoken, and then Molly called for Buck. The other riders looked confused. Tears fell openly down Lou's and Ike's faces, Cody was almost constantly wiping them away, and every now and then, Jimmy would reach up to make room for the new droplets of water to fall.

Buck stood up, and all heads turned to him. His face set in determination, he walked to the front of the group and faced them all.

"I met Isabel only a couple months ago. She asked me to dance." A ragged laugh slipped out of him. "She told me something… Something about the way she lived. She said, 'I don't have time to hate, Buck. I only have time to love.' And again she said it the night she died. No time for hate, Buck. Just love. I wish all people could live like that. I think she was the best of all of us." A few people were nodding along with him, many cried, and some looked to be barely restraining themselves from making Buck leave. Buck ignored it all. He had something to say, for Isabel. "Isabel was sick, yes, so she died young. But really, do any of us have time to hate? I want to hate the whole world right now, but what I want more is to be too busy loving the woman who stole my heart to even think about anger." A soft sob broke loose and he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Molly. "I loved her… And she loved me. She didn't see with normal eyes. She saw everything as beautiful." He took a deep, steadying breath and looked over the crowd. "I won't forget her. And I hope I never disappoint her." He turned around to see the grave. "I love you, Isabel." It was a whisper, but everyone heard it.

Buck hurried to the back of the group where his friends, Teaspoon, and Emma stood. He didn't allow himself to break down until everyone had left but his group. Lou hugged him tight, and he felt her shaking. Ike hugged them both from one side, Emma from the other. Teaspoon's hand settled gently on his head, and he could feel the protective presence of Jimmy, Cody, and Kid standing nearby. And he knew then they all loved him.

Isabel would live on, through him. He would never forget. He would try to be a good man; a loving man. Because there was no time for hate.