TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE, SELF HARM AND CHARACTER DEATH

A/N: SO A WHILE AGO I WAS ASKED TO WRITE A SEQUAL BUT THIS WILL BE KIND OF A PROLOGUE AND YOU CAN CHOOSE THE ENDING (OR READ BOTH) IN THE CHAPTER SELECT.

It Wilts In Time

The crimson red dripped slowly onto my carpet and I sighed. All I could paint anymore were dark and hollow scenes, usually concealing a single red rose. I guess that was the grief taking over. Without my centre I was slowly becoming consumed by the spirit it felt almost welcoming, the one real part of me left. But was it worth it anymore the voices taunted me, casting shadows with the moons light. Salty tears rolled down my cheek almost as soft as her touch. I knew that I was losing control again but hell; I don't think I care anymore. I'd loved and lost a few times but they were never true loves, but this is different. No. That was different. Abruptly rising I grabbed a coat and left my apartment. Walking along the sidewalk I thought of how she would always hold my hand so tight and light up my every nerve, but those days were long gone. Looking up I saw my destination, the bridge where she and I had stopped in the sun one day to watch the world go by. I ran my hand across the ice cold steel frame. It's not what she would have wanted but I did what I wanted most of my life, so what's the difference? Pulling myself up I looked at the current below. I began to sing the poem I never got to show her.

Sage is in gold, streaks of purple too, I've said it before but this love is true.

Then, I let go and let the bitter reality take-

I woke with a start only to find myself being wrapped up in darkness again, but a familiar darkness, faces with hollow eyes welcoming me. I knew the bond was gone and since that connection was gone so was I. You can't cheat death a second time. It's just not fair. I reached my ghostly arm out towards them with no fear, and let them take me home. I haven't regretted anything in my past life and I don't think I ever-

I'd tried so hard to keep on going for her, for him, for all of them but my guardian façade could only hide so much. I'd long since been taken off from duty. But now I was free I just realized how truly alone I really was. Suddenly I felt n urge take hold, a ghost that hadn't haunt me since Saint Vladimir's. It was calling me and I need it too. I reached for my pocket knife, greeting like an old friend. Twisting it in my hand, I thought about how the last time I did this after...Spokane it had felt so good, letting the pain drain out of me. I pulled up my sleeve, slowly pulling the blade along my long since healed skin, scattered with silver lines of past experiences .I had lost so much. First Mason, then my only human friend, Adrian and my one true love. At first it stung but after the third or fourth time it was a familiar bliss I had come to find almost soothing. I felt my pains fall away, it was like a hit of heroine though, once I began I didn't want to stop. Except I cut a little too deep this time. I could see the faces of those I had lost. I ran to my best friend once more, embracing him. I felt no fear facing death; I was trained for this in the end. I let it take me. I guess we just lost our-

-Hold

-Will

-Centre

A/N: I THINK THIS HELPED ME GET BACK INTO WRITING, FEEL FREE TO REVIEW AND TELL ME IF IT'S ANY GOOD. AND DID YOU GUYS LIKE THE SECRET MESSAGE THING?

Yes there are lots of 'I' but I think it adds impact...am I right or?